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Author Topic: Back from the docs :'(  (Read 3034 times)

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Offline Seven

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Back from the docs :'(
« on: July 27, 2007, 11:26:21 AM »
Well I just got back home from the docs office and I am not happy! I wanted to get good news that my cd4 has gone up so maybe the doc would consider changing my meds.   :'(  My cd4 count dropped 90
I went from 420 to 330  :'(  I was really looking fwd to changing meds that meant getting off these fats pills and maybe it would be easier to loose the weight!  :-\  NOPE! NO SUCK LUCK!  instead he wants me to take anti-depressants...why? Cause I cry like all the time I am in his office. LOL No really...I am always sad. It's not the HIV I was sad way and years before I ever found out. I just feel that the happy pills do nothing for me.
Do they help you guys? I have the pills here at home, but I really dont want to take any, my mom REALLY doesnt want me to take any eighter! I am lost...I need advice guys. I have tried them in the past and some I feel made me worse.

Thoughts   :-\

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Back from the docs :'(
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2007, 12:16:15 PM »
Dearest Seven:

I'm sorry to hear that you had a dip in your cd4's but these things happen and of all the numbers this one can fluctuate easily -- don't stress it too much.  Hopefully your next labs will return some of those little workers.  You're still in an OK zone with them.  More importantly, how were your other lab numbers?

As far as anti-depressants, I can't say they've helped me and I tried about 5-6 of them over as many years.  I've currently stopped them, but I still have therapy sessions.  I'd still suggest trying a switch to something else if your current one is not working -- worth a try at least.  Or am I reading your post correct that you're not on any of them yet?

May I be so forward as to ask why you are not seeing a therapist for something along the lines of cognitive behavioral therapy?  You may find this more useful in the long run than medication, though generally they will be used together at least initially.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Back from the docs :'(
« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2007, 12:57:04 PM »

I just wanted to do that... ;D...It's like Philly says, your cd4 will bounce around a lot, mine does it too. What is your viral load like? Is there anything else you are going through health wise, other than the depression? Other things can affect your cd4 like being sick or stressed. I can't really speak on your depression because I don't know much about it or the medications but if the pills are making you feel worse, I wouldn't take them either. Maybe you should try something else or like Philly says, talk to a therapist. I will be praying for you...
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

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Offline newt

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Re: Back from the docs :'(
« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2007, 04:13:44 AM »
Hello 7

I don't really see what your CD4 going up (or not) has got to do with changing meds. As long as your CD4's above 300 it's well functional, and a bumpy up and down CD4 graph ain't gonna make a jot of difference to anything.

- matt
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline Christine

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Re: Back from the docs :'(
« Reply #4 on: July 28, 2007, 11:40:34 AM »
Your cd 4 and vl bounce around all the time. It is the trend of the numbers over a 3-4 months time that guide any meds change.

As far as the antidepressants, I have been off and on them since I was 19. I am now 40. Depression runs in my family, and it is something that I have dealt with for years. Antidepressants in many people are very effective in helping deal with depression. Most people also benefit from talk therapy in addition to the antidepressants. In some people, talk therapy alone works very well for them. It is a matter of finding what works best for you.

In my opinion, you need to do what is best for you and your health regardless of what anyone is telling you. If you feel your quality of life can be better, then I would suggest going and talking to a psychiatrist to discuss options and treatment therapies. Finding a therapist or psychiatrist that your click with can take some trial and error. Be patient, and focus on a goal of improving yourself.

Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline Life

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Re: Back from the docs :'(
« Reply #5 on: July 28, 2007, 12:25:03 PM »

As everyone said, your cd4's can bounce around in one day +/- 100...  Depends on when you took your "picture" to see if they were all in the photo smiling...   As far as "feeling" fat,  well,  sometimes we blame alot of things on meds and sometimes, rightly so.   Look at your diet, look at your exercise and that can make a world of difference in your mental outlook.   I was on Paxil for pretty much a year and it helped me quit roominating about all of the what if's.   I also took anti anxiety pills that first year and I know they helped out.  How?  Cuz people around me said I was not so much a shit when I was on them.   So, they worked... ;D


Offline Seven

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Re: Back from the docs :'(
« Reply #6 on: July 28, 2007, 02:07:51 PM »
Thanks guys, I guess I was so shocked cause ever since I started meds they have ALWAYS gone up and NEVER down. My doctor was waiting for my numbers to go up more and stay on this a bit more before changing. We already changed before cause I kept begging him. So he did it when he didnt want to. This time he says its still not the right time. Seeing how he has 17 years experience in this I will go by what he says. So lastnight came and went and I didnt take any "happy pills" I dont think I am ready to take that step again. I think when monday comes around I am gonna call the numbers he gave me and find someone to talk to first. The moods swings and depression are bad, but last time I was on happy pills I felt worse, I felt that I wanted to commit suicide and I have a feeling that you are not supposed to feel like that  right? LMAO

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Back from the docs :'(
« Reply #7 on: July 28, 2007, 03:13:03 PM »
Seven, the first time any numbers take a dip once you've started treatment it's REALLY easy to scream "OMG" -- everyone does it I'm sure.  The longer you go on with this, and the more "blips" you have the less it freaks you out. 

The other thing not to let yourself get upset about is the first time you have to change your entire HAART regimen.  It's going to happen eventually.

Sounds to me though like you should be focusing more on the mental side of the equation right now.  Crying all the time is NOT a great sign and I'm sure you realize that.  Just because one type of psychiatric medication did work well with you is no reason to think the others will do the same thing.  Just insist on trying something else.  Are you getting these from your HIV specialist or are you going to an actual psychiatrist?  I'd definitely recommend the latter route.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline BT65

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Re: Back from the docs :'(
« Reply #8 on: July 28, 2007, 05:12:50 PM »
I agree with Philly about seeing a psychiatrist.  I was put on and off different antidepressants for years and I never did any better mentally until I went to see a psychiatrist.  I am now on Zoloft and Celexa, which have worked wonders for me.  They are in the same class of drugs, but for a few people that works.  I'm not saying that's what you should be on, just saying, a psychiatrist is the one that found the right combination.  I'm in therapy also; have been since '91. 
   Your t-cells are going to fluctuate, like everyone has said.  I think it's normal to freak out a little when you're not used to it.  I've changed combinations quite a few times.  I am wondering also what your other numbers were like?  Viral load?  Percentage? 
  Keep your chin up. 
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Offline Seven

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Re: Back from the docs :'(
« Reply #9 on: July 29, 2007, 02:50:27 PM »
Undectable for over two years now...I really dont understand percentage. I am not educated like the rest of you on all this stuff.

Yes I am have on many different types of happy pills in the past, not just one like philly said. I just dont feel they help me. I am still sad.. UGH!!!!! I swear I am reincarnated from someone who had a shaiity life with depression...I am the lucky one to get it now. I feel sorry to who I give it too....

Like I said I am planning on seeing someone...I got to call on monday. 

How do you guys cope with being with people when you are not happy? I have a family get together today and I told my parents that 'm not going...UGH!!!! I hate this. I hate people seeing me this big when they know me as being the fit girl with muscles...I know they all talk behind my back...and I really dont want to hear it all today...


I think I am going to work out in the basement do chest and bi's

Have a good one guys!

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Back from the docs :'(
« Reply #10 on: July 29, 2007, 03:07:14 PM »
Seven, the percentage you should refer to is probably labeled as "% CD 4 Pos. Lymph." on your lab results, if you request paper copies from your doctor during visits you can look for it.  It's really a better, more stable number to refer to over the long term.  It doesn't tend to fluctuate is wildly as CD 4 numbers. 

refer here for a description skim down to "What is the T4 Percentage?" section.

Also, you may want to check out a book called "The Feeling Good Handbook" by Dr. David D. Burns (tired title, isn't it?  ha ha).  It's a bit large, but it has lessons interspersed that follow cognitive behavioral therapy ideas on how to control depression and anxiety.  I tend to look at depression and anxiety like an addiction.  It's something you will always have or be prone to, but you can minimize and control it with practice.  It's not easy, I will grant you, and you have to do the work.

Enjoy your exercise, it's good for helping your depression.  I need to follow you to the barbells myself!
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Seven

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Re: Back from the docs :'(
« Reply #11 on: July 29, 2007, 04:56:09 PM »
Feel a bit better...did chest and Bi's Feels werid after not doing weights for so long...


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