Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
August 30, 2014, 02:20:44 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 23349
  • Latest: BarryH
Stats
  • Total Posts: 636662
  • Total Topics: 48323
  • Online Today: 179
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: The worst pickup line  (Read 6173 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
The worst pickup line
« on: July 21, 2007, 03:32:07 AM »
Tonight I was at a bar and a guy comes over and gives me the worst pickup line ever...:

Him: Did it hurt?
Me: what ?
Him: When you fell from heaven?

..... :o :o :o

What's your worst pickup line?

Milker.
« Last Edit: July 21, 2007, 03:35:33 AM by milker »
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Cliff

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,645
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #1 on: July 21, 2007, 03:34:17 AM »
Are you sure that was a pick-up line?  I don't understand it.

Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2007, 03:35:51 AM »
Without the typo you should get it lol!

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline aupointillimite

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,229
  • FUS DO RAH!
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #3 on: July 21, 2007, 05:41:57 AM »
The proper response to that pickup line is "Yeah, I landed on my ass."
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,954
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #4 on: July 21, 2007, 06:45:29 AM »
Man, there has always got to be some weirdo at Applebee's to ruin your evening.
« Last Edit: July 21, 2007, 06:54:50 AM by Dachshund »

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #5 on: July 21, 2007, 08:41:45 AM »
Tonight I was at a bar and a guy comes over and gives me the worst pickup line ever...:

Him: Did it hurt?
Me: what ?
Him: When you fell from heaven?


wow, that sucks
 :D

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #6 on: July 21, 2007, 09:05:23 AM »
I've heard that one a few times myself and it reminds me of another one...

"If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" (It's actually a line from a C&W song)
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Razorbill

  • Member
  • Posts: 622
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #7 on: July 21, 2007, 09:44:49 AM »
I've used:  Great tattoos.  Can we go somewhere the light's better to see 'em in?

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,009
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #8 on: July 21, 2007, 09:53:28 AM »
"You must be exhausted because you've been running through my mind all day"



Dan J.

  • Guest
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #9 on: July 21, 2007, 10:13:47 AM »
You must be from  Tennessee because your the only 10 I see.  ::)

If you were a booger I would pick you first.  ;D

Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,435
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #10 on: July 21, 2007, 10:14:01 AM »
Sung to the tune of Carolina in my ear by total stranger:

"Nothing could be finer
than to be in your mangina
in the mooooorrrnnninng!"

I don't think the bartender was appreciative of me reacting by spitting my beer all over him and the bar :-\

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,954
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #11 on: July 21, 2007, 11:03:03 AM »
Q: Excuse me, do you have any Irish in you?

A: No I don't.

Q: Would you like some?




Offline MoltenStorm

  • Member
  • Posts: 477
  • Poz & Fabulous
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #12 on: July 21, 2007, 11:08:09 AM »
Hi, my name is So-n-So, that shirt looks very becoming on you.

Why, thank you.

If I were on you, I'd be cuming too.
"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful nor conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, adaptation in A Walk To Remember

CD4: 555 / 29% / Undetectable - 7 Nov 2006
CD4: 555 / 29% / Undetectable - 5 Feb 2007

Offline david25luvit

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,409
  • Member since March 2005
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #13 on: July 21, 2007, 11:11:15 AM »
I had a guy once tell me I had "come fuck me lips"
which I thought was stupid but he turned out to be
an excellent lover...
In Memory of
Raymond David McRae III
Nov. 25, 1972- Oct. 15, 2004
I miss him terribly..........

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #14 on: July 21, 2007, 12:17:43 PM »
Oh noooos!

Two of the latest posts made me remember the absolute weirdest pick-up line I've ever been subjected to...

This biker dude came up to me one night in a blues bar and said - "hello lovely lady" and stuck his bottom lip out in a big pout. Tattooed on the inside of his lip was KISS ME.

I didn't! ::)

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Dan J.

  • Guest
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #15 on: July 21, 2007, 12:24:59 PM »
One time a "leather man" told me he wanted to punch bisquits with my hole...  ::)

Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #16 on: July 21, 2007, 12:37:40 PM »
oh my... and I thought last night's pickup line was cheesy.. lol they are hilarious! :D

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,565
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #17 on: July 21, 2007, 03:43:03 PM »
I sat down in a bar with an old friend who had his eye on this really tall guy.  My friend spoke of his "dick reduction surgery". He borrowed my house key... When I got home, they were shaving each others balls.  Have the best day
Michael

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #18 on: July 21, 2007, 04:28:36 PM »
Two wild and crazy guys on Saturday Night Live pretty much said it all...and all bad
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GBEaiOfkxs
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,939
  • AM member since 2003
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #19 on: July 21, 2007, 09:45:28 PM »
I loved the Steve Martin Video.. :D

A number of years ago a friend and I were out having a drink and this drunk guy came up and said "hello ladies, my D*ck is leaving the bar soon and I would like you both to be on it"..I nearly choked on my drink I laughed so much.

Hugs
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,565
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #20 on: July 22, 2007, 01:32:59 AM »
How about... "Would you like to play a game called Hide the Salami?"  Have the best day
Michael

Offline StacheBC

  • Member
  • Posts: 266
  • Hello
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #21 on: July 22, 2007, 12:18:58 PM »
"Screw me if we haven't met before"

Offline MoltenStorm

  • Member
  • Posts: 477
  • Poz & Fabulous
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #22 on: July 22, 2007, 03:25:24 PM »
This one had my rolling in laughter because it was so cheezy.

Q: Is your father in prison?

A: Huh? Not that I know of.

Q: Well, he should be since he stole the stars and put them in your eyes.
"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful nor conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, adaptation in A Walk To Remember

CD4: 555 / 29% / Undetectable - 7 Nov 2006
CD4: 555 / 29% / Undetectable - 5 Feb 2007

Offline JR Gabbard

  • Member
  • Posts: 254
  • Union Jacks
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #23 on: July 22, 2007, 07:34:26 PM »

Milker my boy:

I have just finished reading several of your threads.  You are in for some serious trouble (which you will most likely enjoy to the nth degree) when you get to SF for AMG. 

As for the worst pick-up line, I have now made you my cause celebre.  I have got to find someone to deliver you an even worse pick-up line while you are here.  Failing that, I will have to give you one myself!

I used to tend bar, so I have a bunch of 'em.  You're gonna have a great time.

As for the rest:  I like Ann's "If I told you you had a beautiful body...".  Only cause I've heard it way too many times, and it lost its "freshness."  Not the tatoo one, though, but I do have some interesting tatoo stories, that perhaps shouldn't be disclosed on a public forum.  I'll leave you to ponder that.

Looking forward to meeting you.

JR
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth,
The minor fall, the major lift,
The baffled king composing Hallelujah!

L. Cohen

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,228
  • Ninja Please
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #24 on: July 22, 2007, 07:40:02 PM »
Matty the Damned was once asked by an appallingly whiskered leatherman if he would like to "make like a woman".

It turned out that Matty the Damned did in fact wish to "make like a woman".

Who'd have thought?

MtD

Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #25 on: July 22, 2007, 09:03:50 PM »
Milker my boy:

I have just finished reading several of your threads.  You are in for some serious trouble (which you will most likely enjoy to the nth degree) when you get to SF for AMG
:o :o :o
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,435
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #26 on: July 22, 2007, 09:14:22 PM »
Milker....seems you got quite the fan.

Let's hope it's the good type and not the Lauren Bacall one.

Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #27 on: July 22, 2007, 09:35:12 PM »
Milker....seems you got quite the fan.

Let's hope it's the good type and not the Lauren Bacall one.

I actually LOVED Lauren Bacall when I was 12. I thought she would be perfect for me. Something happened with me, though, I lost interest  ;). But I still think that she is a beautiful woman!

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,435
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #28 on: July 22, 2007, 09:40:45 PM »
I actually LOVED Lauren Bacall when I was 12. I thought she would be perfect for me. Something happened with me, though, I lost interest  ;). But I still think that she is a beautiful woman!

Milker.

uhm sweets...I think you don't get it: 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082362/
« Last Edit: July 22, 2007, 10:58:33 PM by Iggy »

Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #29 on: July 22, 2007, 09:51:00 PM »
Remember I'm French, we stink but we have the best cologne, we have bad teeth but we love smiling with big yellow teeth, we know culture better than everyone else on the planet, and unless a joke is a French joke, it's not worth it :D

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #30 on: July 23, 2007, 02:39:26 AM »
Ok, I got one...Couldn't believe the dude used it cause it is just so old....So, I gave the original reply...

Dude: What's your sign?

Me: Stop
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline mjmel

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,069
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #31 on: July 23, 2007, 08:50:06 AM »
Man, there has always got to be some weirdo at Applebee's to ruin your evening.

Actually, it was at the Brass Rail in San Diego and I was talking with milker when it happened. That queen was so attracted to milker that he also ran up and took a picture. He was quite taken by milker--who has sexy eyes and a gorgeous smile.
xxx,
Mike

Offline Razorbill

  • Member
  • Posts: 622
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #32 on: July 23, 2007, 09:12:43 AM »
This one was more of a response, and a very nice one too.  I was in Ptown a thousand years ago.  This cute townie with long, black hair and I were exchanging glances in the A House.  I pluck up and go over and ask, "Would you like to dance?"
He says, "No thank you, but that doesn't mean I don't want to talk to you."
We spent a couple days of my vacation together.  Gosh, I hadn't thought of him in years.

Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #33 on: July 23, 2007, 11:47:59 AM »
Ok, I got one...Couldn't believe the dude used it cause it is just so old....So, I gave the original reply...

Dude: What's your sign?

Me: Stop
ROFL!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline GoodMatchHawaiiRetreat

  • Member
  • Posts: 51
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #34 on: July 25, 2007, 02:59:59 AM »
I tend to try to forget the bad pick-up lines....   Don't want those in your head when trying to think of something to say to a hot guy who just caught your eye....
    I do remember my favorite pick-up line....    Traveling in the south a studly college guy came up to me and directly said, "Wanna Fuck?"
Worked for me!!!!

Offline GoodMatchHawaiiRetreat

  • Member
  • Posts: 51
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #35 on: July 25, 2007, 03:05:11 AM »
I did hear of a clever line, but don't think anyone actually used it.
  A guy is in the bar and sort of flashing his fancy watch around.   A hot guy comes up to him and says, "Interesting watch."
The guy replies, "You know, the best part is that this watch is psychic".   "Oh, yeah", the other guy responds, "What does it say about me".
"Well, let's see", he says holding it up to his ear.  "Interesting,  it says you aren't wearing underwear and your butthole is wet."
"Ha, wrong" the guy says.   The other guy taps his watch several times and says,  "Damn, this thing is 30 minutes fast".

Offline carousel

  • Member
  • Posts: 821
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #36 on: July 25, 2007, 10:31:35 AM »
"Wanna Fuck?"

I've used that a few times in the past.  Normally, when I've been completely off my head.  It either works or you get a look of horror.  Oh well.  Wouldn't try it sober.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2007, 10:35:24 AM by carousel »

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,565
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #37 on: July 27, 2007, 12:31:44 AM »
I worked at the Denny's on Waikiki Beach on graveyard shift for about a year.  One night a man tourist from Marin  was ordering his breakfast.
Me: How would you like your eggs?
Guest: Fondled
Me:  If I fucked every guy that comes on to me, I would be so wide you could park a transit bus in there and have room for a rental car beside... Now, how would you like your eggs prepared?
Have the best day
Michael
« Last Edit: July 27, 2007, 12:33:45 AM by Sonomabeach »

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #38 on: July 27, 2007, 10:37:48 AM »
Michael...you crack me up...I love reading your posts.  Sometimes a post like yours will lift my spirits ........have a nice day!
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline tester8888

  • Member
  • Posts: 182
  • 32,wm, gay, hiv neg at 7 weeks, friend is newly +
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #39 on: July 28, 2007, 12:06:52 AM »
The worst pick-up I have ever endured.  My fruitflies convinced me to go to a str8 club with them for a couple of drinks before heading out for my night on the town.
This ditsy 21 y/o girl came up to me, seductively placed her finger on my chest and said, "How would you like to be able to tell your buddies that you spent the night with a girl that works the perfume counter at Dillards?"
I replied, "If I ever make the mistake of sleeping with a girl, I surely wont be telling my buddies about it."
7 weeks post exposure, tested HIV Negative.

Be Kind To Everyone You Meet, For You Do Not Know What Battles They Have Fought That Day.

Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #40 on: July 28, 2007, 12:09:37 AM »
The worst pick-up I have ever endured.  My fruitflies convinced me to go to a str8 club with them for a couple of drinks before heading out for my night on the town.
This ditsy 21 y/o girl came up to me, seductively placed her finger on my chest and said, "How would you like to be able to tell your buddies that you spent the night with a girl that works the perfume counter at Dillards?"
I replied, "If I ever make the mistake of sleeping with a girl, I surely wont be telling my buddies about it."
lol  :D
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,565
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #41 on: July 28, 2007, 03:51:36 PM »
There has been an on again, off again game of "catch me, fuck me" going on for a couple of years between me and a nurse at the clinic (he started it).  During labs, I put a piece of paper in his pocket with my phone number on it.  I told him, because of privacy issues, I knew he could not pull my phone number from the medical file and call me with personal stuff.

I suggested he drop his pants in the nurse station, write H.I.P.P.A. on his cock with black ink.  When he wakes up and it reads Health Information Patient Portability Act to come over to my house and we will work on it until we are both completely satisfied.  Have the best day
Michael

Offline knittygritty

  • Member
  • Posts: 17
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #42 on: July 28, 2007, 07:36:15 PM »
  him : Wanna go back to my place for pizza and sex?
  me : Uh, no
  him: What you don't like pizza?
 OK that one's never really been used on me but it makes me laugh. I worked at a bar before and I did hear some winners:
 
    I'm from (insert foreign country, or other state) and I'm leaving in the morning - will you give me a night to remember?
  You have to tell me what you name is so I know what to scream out later.
 That's a real nice dress, it'll look real good crumpled up in a ball on my bedroom floor.
 
 
 
 OMG! I almost forgot the other day this guy says to me
 "You look like a model - I would love to be your friend"  Um, I guess that was supposed to charm the panties right off me just because he was foreign.
    
   You know I have heard a million but I am drawing a blank right now. 
« Last Edit: July 28, 2007, 08:01:30 PM by knittygritty »
I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you.  - Grandpa Simpson
  I knit, therefore I am  -  Me

Offline mjmel

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,069
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #43 on: July 29, 2007, 08:27:09 PM »
Sometimes one just wants to read some light stuff. To have a cackle, crack a smile and laugh a little.
Thanks for starting this thread milker.
Michael (sonomabeach) you are a gem, my friend.  ;)

to tester8888: a great comeback line! Ouch.

having a nice evening here, thank you.
Mike

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,565
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #44 on: July 29, 2007, 08:56:43 PM »
Ok, here's another one...

I used to go out with a doctor from Balboa Island (Orange County) .  He was a sweetheart and was very generous.  He offered me $1000.00 to give him head (I accepted), then he said , "How about $1.00?  I replied with... "What do you think I am?"
 ;D ;D ;D We have already established that, Now we are haggling price. ;D ;D ;D
Have the best day
Michael

Offline MoltenStorm

  • Member
  • Posts: 477
  • Poz & Fabulous
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #45 on: July 29, 2007, 09:08:59 PM »
Quote
He offered me $1000.00 to give him head (I accepted), then he said , "How about $1.00?  I replied with... "What do you think I am?"
    We have already established that, Now we are haggling price.   

That's taken from Winston Churchill, my dear. :D Still funny though.
"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful nor conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, adaptation in A Walk To Remember

CD4: 555 / 29% / Undetectable - 7 Nov 2006
CD4: 555 / 29% / Undetectable - 5 Feb 2007

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,565
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #46 on: July 30, 2007, 04:51:10 AM »
Winston Churchill?... I just don't know.  I have worked in advertising for most of my life and naturally incorporate things from the popular press in most of my daily life situations.  I think, I set it up from National Lampoon or an SNL skit, maybe.  My BF while I lived in Hawaii was a MIS geek from Kaiser Permanente.  David was fun in his own quiet way and left himself open on many ocassions for a good joke.  I had 60,000 watts of FM transmission at my fingertips and developed a character called Mr. David of Beverly Hills.  The clients loved it and were all asking for Mr. David spots and David never heard any of them. 

One I did for the State Department of Health went like this...
Soft music background, playing, Must have been a beautiful baby, blah, blah, blah
Anncr:  Coming down the runway we have Mr. David, the Fashion Trendsetter of Beverly Hills.  Mr. David is sporting the latest in sleepware for men... It is form fitting, stylish and can save your life.  Yes ladies and gentlemen, it is as condom and if used properly will be effective in the reduction of STD's.  Brought to you by this station and the Hawaii Department of Health.

Tomorrow is another day.  One day, I will probably take "write H.I.P.P.A. on your cock" to the harbor in San Rafael, motor my sailboat past the channel entrance, hoist the sails and will probably get off  with, "Well you know Friday, I have been stranded on this island for many years without the companionship of a female...  If I gave you some coconuts?"

Then there was the CFO from a large shipping company... After an intense evening at Club San Jose (now Hamburger Mary's), he asked if we could go to his house and put on some dresses.  After hearing I have never worn women's clothes and was not about to start, he dropped me off at my house and I never saw him again.  Come hell or high water, I am going to have fun and people like me for it.  Have the best day
Michael(who can't count the plagerism in the last 4 paragraphs)  ;D

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,565
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #47 on: July 30, 2007, 04:58:01 AM »
Then there was the man, woman couple at the supermarket checkout line...
She- He looks like a rock star!
He- What band do you play in?
Me- Oh, I can't sing, dance or tell jokes so they made me a clerk at Social Security Administration ;D ;D ;D Have the best day
Michael

Offline pozattitude

  • Member
  • Posts: 909
  • Enjoy
    • to find out more about me....
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #48 on: July 30, 2007, 06:08:41 PM »
I wish I was making this up, but it actually happen to me at a bar...

the pick up line was " I already had your bf, now I need to try you out"

No comment

Rich
POSITIVE PEDALERS... We are a group of people living with HIV/AIDS, eliminating stigma through our positive public example.

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,009
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: The worst pickup line
« Reply #49 on: July 31, 2007, 12:13:03 AM »
I wish I was making this up, but it actually happen to me at a bar...

the pick up line was " I already had your bf, now I need to try you out"


and it was then, Your Honor, that I knocked his teeth out.

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.