Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits > Mental Health & HIV

Depression and Living Alone

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--- Quote from: DanielMark on July 18, 2007, 05:26:42 AM ---Atxpozguy,

I find helping someone else is often the best remedy for changing a situation where we feel isolated. Are there any organizations in your area where you could do some volunteer work? Isolating yourself won't change the feeling depressed.


--- End quote ---

Hi Pat, I'm new here, I'm JeffreyM, I have been living with  the virus for 16 years.  I know all too well about depression.  It can be crippling. You have to dig very deep to pull yourself out of it, you can do  it! You are going through a lot right now, and things will get better, hang in there!

 I will have to agree with Daniel. Try to get out of your own head. Do something for somebody else. It worked for me. I find that having some physical activity also helps a lot.
I hope you are feeling better

It is understandable you are depressed. I know when I first started living alone I was really depressed. I still have a difficult time coping at times. It will get better though. Do something nice for yourself. Also I am finding the phrase "action before motivation" works for me. When I make myself start doing something I start feeling more motivated after I just start. It isn't always easy though. Having hiv and also living alone can be difficult. I just keep reminding myself that so many people have it even worse. This strategy doesn't always work but it does sometimes. Im also learning to realize there will just be days when Im in a good mood and days when I am sad it can also change at any moment. I remember a few weeks ago I was on vacation alone and I was in my hotel room in a great city but I just started crying. I was so tired of being alone. But after about twenty minutes I washed my face told myself to pull it together and had a great day alone. Keep your chin up gets easier  ::)

Well.. if i can contribute with something it would be... while i was living in Moscow i faced one of the huge depressions i have ever faced in my life, me and my friend from India. At the end someone adviced us that it could have been because of the lack of sun... which affects the balance in the body chemistry (as we were told). So i would advice you to go out and walk at midday, it helped me... i have also found interesting to go somewhere you don't know and talk to people.. sometimes saying Hi! can open so many doors, get involved in any new activity... from painting, to acting, whatever you have always wanted to do... in that way you will meet new people. Another thing i do when i am sad i listen lot of optimistic music (i mean optimistic lyrics, not those about sadness and hearts broken), go for a chocolate (it helpts to bring the mood up) or go for what i love to eat the most... ice creams or specific type of food.

And finally... don't wait for others to call you, sometimes they are sad too... and sometimes if you call first... you can make someone happy.

Juan Carlos
(who usually calls to Russia, Turkey, Germany, Peru only to say hi)

Well, I am doing much better it appears since my doctor replaced the seroquel with haldol this past Wed. The sleeping for 12+ hours after adding haldol with ambien and the other 8 meds I take at bedtime have me dreaming about some very odd things. Staying up all night Friday night with friend grieving his partner that died from a gunshot wound to head during a carjacking with no sleep, was tough. But Saturday afternoon after getting back home around 3pm, I took an ambien, vicodin and haldol, fell asleep and didn't wake up until noon Sunday.

The depression is getting better, as several guys that wouldn't come over to visit when my ex (Juan) lived with me, came over with friends to visit 3 days in a row and have made plans to travel to the coast together in a couple of weeks.  :)

But, this drug Haldol seems a bit different than Seroquel, because I never had the type of dreams I am having now, last night's dream was about winning the Lottery and being beaten up during a home invasion. ???

This thread hit home tonight as I have just been going through a quite difficult time anticipating my companion for the past 2 years leaving to go off on his own. I had been living alone for 10 years and for the most part enjoyed the independence and freedom, despite those episodic Friday nights or weekends when I suddenly felt so alone. I was at the brink of entertaining suicidal thoughts...more so than ever in my life. I would find myself crying inconsolably, loud heaving crying and banging the pillow or wringing my hands. It wa quite frightening. I reached out to friends at work, hooked up with a therapist and did all those great holistic things like walking, eating better, taking a bath, listening to music, and writing in my journal sometimes for hours. But the one thing that helped the most was getting a sleep aid (Lunesta) from my doctor. I had questioned if it was my Atripla that was causing the problem (sustiva part). Doc said to try the simple thing first. Sleep did  wonders for me. With some rest I was able to use all the other resources at hand and begin to get it together. I let the lonely feelings flow when they come and dont repress them. I also am looking at solitude as a possible gift at times .... allowing me to go to place of peace and reflection. And I as I have shared my plight with my "partnered or familied" friends, I have come to see that many of them talk of being alone even when living with others. They envy some of my independence and freedom. Just some thoughts as I too work on dealing with time alone.


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