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How has HIV affected your long-term relationships?

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CallingAllAngels:
I'm curious. This fall I'll have been with the same person for 3 years, and although my HIV status hasn't affected us YET, I'm really hoping it won't -- at least, not in a negative way. We're best friends as well as partners, but part of me feels like we'll both have to adjust to TOO much, almost... especially him. He wasn't the one who gave me the HIV, but he's the one that has to deal with my having it. Yes, we can be safe and absolutely, we can go forward and have a great time.... and we love each other like crazy... but really, what am I setting him up for? A future fiancee/wife who won't be with him for decades on end like he wants? I've always wanted kids, but now I don't think I'd have them biologically...

I don't know.

My thoughts are a mish-mosh.

I realize that people can live a LONG time with this, some people for 20 or 30 years, even.... and I realize I shouldn't live in fear of what MIGHT happen.... but I think a LITTLE planning and considering the possibilities is wise, too.

How do you ladies deal with your own long term relationships? Did you ever have to crack the news to your HIV- partner? That was about the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I'll never forget the look on his face. (And in case anyone's wondering, he isn't at risk. Call me old-fashioned, but when I got into this relationship, I decided I'd wait...thankfully...)

MOONLIGHT1114:
My exBF just dumped me in Dec 2006, after 2-1/2 years together.  He couldn't imagine going through life with protected sex.  CAA you should read the dating posts, lol.  All I have done is complain about not having romantic love in my life.  I'm ready to join the nunnery! 

Cindy

CallingAllAngels:
 ;D You know, some days, the nunnery looks pretty darned amazing. You have a place to live, you can do community work, you get food.... hmm.... if there's internet access at the nunnery, I'll keep it in my list of options *JUST* in case....  :D

Queen Tokelove:
LTR, what is that? The last one I was in was over 2 years ago. One is a lonely number and I have been feeling it lately. You need to check out part2 of the dating thread...

Lovinglife:
I have been very blessed to have dated some very caring men.  I am currently engaged to a man that is negative.  We have been together 3 years.  Before him I was single for 2 years, and before that I was in a six year relationship wtih another man that was negative.  I ended the six year relationship and was very happy being alone.  Then I met my current guy.  He asked a lot of people about me and they told him "you don't want to date her, she has the bug".  Well, he educated himself about the virus and asked me out.  We have been together ever since.  He is the most wonderful person I have ever known and he treats me like a queen.  I am so blessed to have such a loving relationship.  Because I have been positive for 22 years I have a lot of complications; I am currently resistant to 90% of the medication, but I know in my heart that whatever happens my guy will be right there next to me.

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