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Life slowly does get easier...



Sorry not been around for a while - I have been trying to keep my life and mind as active as possible which has certainly helped...For those of you that have read my posts before you will be aware that I was diagnosed Christmas 06 following a very rough conversion..The net 4-6 months now seem like a blur and a distant memory..It truly has to be said that I hit rock bottom soon after my diagnosis and felt as if I was opeating in a parallel universe..

Anyway most importantly I am now starting to feel somewhat "normal" and have a feeling of who I am again..

By forcing myself to work (although I have only been operating at 10% of capacity lol) this has taken away a lot of time where I could have really taken myself on a downer..I have kept myself active by travelling up and down the country to football (soccer) matches and have found this to be better therapy than my psycho-therapist - and a lot cheaper!! I totally recommend this - have a good cry put on your music but maybe dont drive as fast as I have been!!

I am aware that i will never be the same person again and that there will be significant challenges ahead but I guess you have to tell yourself that you have to live for each day and each moment..This has been hard as I had plans for the beautiful b/f - house - career etc and still cant let myself believe that these can still be obtainable..Guess thats something to believe in in the near future!..

Anyway for anyone recently diagnosed just hold in there - keep telling yourself that these dark clouds too will pass if they are on your horizon..

Thanks for all the support I have received I truly did not think I would see July 2007 back in Dec 06 - but all is ok!!

Thanks guys and girls!!


I'm very happy to see you post this here in the IJTP Forum.  Happy to see that you are dong so much better now, and also happy that this will be here for some of the other newbies to see.  I think it has a lot to offer for hope and support when it comes from someone who is at a similar point dealing with a diagnosis.

Thanks for posting and congratulations on the progress.


Hello LJ,

Glad to hear that things are going better for you. It takes time to adjust. My first year, after I was diagnosed positive in 1985 was also a blur. But things eventually started settling down. For me , it was about being hopeful, realistic, and staying focused !! Yes, there will always be challenges. The main thing is to take those challenges head on, and learn to deal with them as they come our way. Stay proactive in your health , and do good things for yourself, to help keep yourself healthy !!

Take care of yourself----Ray

thx Tim and Ray..The thing which has benn important to me is to get a good support network of other poz gus..I have chosen those who have (pardon the punn) positive attitudes from which I can feed..

I guess things are black and white - i could stay in pack in my job and wallow in self pity or get out there and live life..I will not say its been easy and dark moments do come and they are horrible..I then have to tell myself I am not London 1 in 7 gay men are poz and we are well supported..I am grateful for that..

I then realise how fortunate I am to have free health care which truly is v v good - dont care what people say about the NHS they do an amazing job..

To anyone going through this its those little steps which count - dont try and rush things - I know I did lol..

Take care


Hey guy....I'm new to this forum here....I'm NOT very computer literate BUT I can encourage U to keep your head up and YES things WILL become somewhat easier or easier to face from day to day.    The BEST thing I've found is a little book called "The Color of Light" compiled by Perry Tillerass.   It's  meditation book that I try to start my day by reading and since I started reading it I've found that I may not "get" the message with the 1st reading BUT something will happen BEFORE lunch that will make me think back to it's message.    I've been POZ for 20+ years,  NEVER been ill PERIOD and have only been on meds for about 4 yrs now (altho I started several times during these past 20).    I encourage U to think POSITIVELY about're the same person you were BEFORE U became POZ!   Try & find a support group or at least a couple or 3 friends who you can be honest with and make your feelings good & the not so good be known.    HIV is NO longer a death sentence as I felt it was when I first learned I was POZ.    EVERYBODY I've shared my status with have been very encourageing for me,  however only during these last 4 years or so have I attempted to be "honest" about my POZ status (with family as well as friends).    That "fear" was almost overwhelming at times.    My motto is "if they were a TRUE friend before they'll be a TRUE friend after" they know.     Also TAKE your meds if you've started meds,  KEEP your dr appts and be HONEST & up front with your doctors.    Remember we're all in it for the LONE haul!   You can order the book I mentioned at (used book section).   BEST of luck to ya!


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