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Author Topic: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too  (Read 41738 times)

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Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« on: July 13, 2007, 09:55:32 PM »
OK, so new thread, won't take as long to load now, since we're ALL so darn busy with our men (lololol)!  Yes, I wanted to reply to Camille's comment about Herpes.com, lmao!  You are SO right!  Here I am looking for a poz guy on that site, thinking "Herpes?"  It seems everyone is dealing with it, tho!

OK, so who has a hot date tonight?  I have my back-ups that I am talking to, and yes, I will not contact Jay.  He'll miss me, I'm sure of it, LOVE when that happens!   ;D

Queen, what is going on with Boo?  I have a date with Cheech tonight, my Australian Shepherd.  He snores but I still let him sleep with me all the same, lol!



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HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2007, 02:46:16 AM »
I wasn't sure if there was such a place as herpes.com...I thought Camille was cracking a joke, my bad. Personally, I would never go there. I am dealing with being poz, diabetic, and loss of hearing. I don't think I could deal with something else that is going to be with me forever. Not trying to be mean in saying that but am just being honest.

I was going through the personals today because I was notified off a flirt and I saw your pic, Moonlight. I was like, I know her! After CJC's thread, I'm feeling like I do. I just thought that was cool. You may not call Jay this weekend but you know you got him on the brain... ;)

As for me and Boo, we're both online at this moment. We are chatting in between him running scans and me doing my thing here. I think he had a stressful day but is not really talking about it. I don't want to force the issue and I'll just wait to see if he wants to share. I am also on the phone with my best friend. Damn, I'm good.. ;D  Ok, just got bf off the phone. Boo's convo tonight is a bit weak but I won't hold it against him. I'll chock it up to him having a bad day. Not everyday can be peachy, I sure can relate to that.

To those viewing this thread. You don't have to put your personal biz here like me and Moonlight is doing with our new found romances but we sure would appreciate some feedback. I don't know about Moonlight but this dating thing is new to me, I've been out of circulation for a few years now.
« Last Edit: July 14, 2007, 02:49:40 AM by Queen Akasha »
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2007, 03:38:53 AM »
what a beautiful pic!

I really want to give advice, but I don't like to sound authoriative on something that I'm not. dating, love, that's so complicated... people are so different.

When i was freaKING OUT B/C MY OWN RELATIONSHIP TOOk (sorry caps lock) so long to settle down, and was so uncertain (and I was and still am horribly anxious, aboutb everything incl this), my soial worker just told me "relationships last as long as they're good". I keep it as a motto, so far it's worked. I'm still anxious though...

I use this motto to remind me to keep it light, keep it sweet, take it easy. I don't know if it makes sense. I don't put pressure on my BF, so everything's worked out better than in any other relationships. All my relationships were crap but this one. Some really horrendous (when i was a teen), some when i was in my 20s just normally dysfunctional. This is the first really good one, and still with a horrible anxiety about the future. I try to seperate my anxiety from the relationship though as much as poss and have one rule to keep it fun. To enjoy the moment and the little things. Most of the time I abide by that.

So that's the only thing I learned. That's the one things different.

Good luck with it!!!!

edited to add: ps now i read your correspondence o the previous thread, this advice doesn't seem relevant. I can so feel and identify with both of yours impatience and craving for the thing to get started already. Been there SO many times. All that speculating about the guy, what he wants, what he needs. Trying not to be so demanding. There is a time for that, but there are times to say what you need.
« Last Edit: July 14, 2007, 04:09:32 AM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #3 on: July 14, 2007, 07:43:54 AM »
Hello ladies. I take no credit for any of this. I am just glad we can all have somewhere to talk. I can talk to the girls (and guys) at work but I have to edit what I say because they don't know my status.             I love the picture of your dog and you, Moonlight.                              Queen, I thought camille07 was cracking a joke as well, if not, I apologize. Personally as well, I would not go there just because I am not trying to add to what I already have.                                         I have no hot date tonight or any night right now. But I will not give up hope. And in about 4 weeks, when I really heal up, I wonder if I will go into heat like I did about 4 weeks after I had my boy's. no offense intended with that phrase, it's just how I felt at the time.       I saw moonlight's picture as "Catch Of The Day" on poz.com last night. Don't worry girl, you are quite pretty and will get plenty of attention.  Best of luck to us all .  Cristy

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #4 on: July 14, 2007, 11:01:10 AM »
I agree with Cristy. The pics you've (Moonlight) posted show a very attractive, vibrant person. You'll get hits for sure. Funny thing. Until you started the second thread and posted the pic of you and the dog, I thought it was a fake pic you used in your avatar. The poster Philly is always picking varied headshots and I thought this was another faux face!

As Queen noted, this is becoming an e-soap of sorts, so I'm gonna bow out and get a balcony seat. Nope, no one's in the seat next to me. If there were, I doubt I'd be here posting on this fine sunny morning!!

Carry on, ladies. Carry on.

Em

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2007, 02:08:19 PM »
Em~~ No nose bleed seats for you. You get a seat in the first row. What would you like to snack on and what's your poison?

Dragonette~~ Actually, I would have to agree with your saying. I don't think anyone is a Guru on love even though they try to make Dr. Phil out to be. I just think having a person who is not involved, looking from the outside in, might notice things that someone who is "lovestruck" (for lack of a better word) may not see. When I look back on my past relationships, they were all disasters one way or another. And what I thought was love was more like dependence. Whether it was me depending on them or vice versa.

Now on to Boo....The convo between us last night really sucked. For example, I post something, he responds like 5 minutes later. And the responses were usually smiley faces. So I am like  >:(. I mean I know he was running scans on his computer but damn. This really bothered me and it may have come across in my replies, I don't know. I am really excited by the things we have in common but now I am wondering why he appears to be standoffish. He swears he isn't but.....After doing some critical analyzing of things, I have come to the conclusion that I think I'm in love with the idea of being in love, if that makes any sense? The reason I say this is because of what I do know of him, I know I could fall in love with him. I don't want to tell him this because I think it is too soon and if I did, he would prolly run for the hills.... :( So now I am feeling like   :-\  :-X  :(  :'(

Moonlight, you're up....
« Last Edit: July 14, 2007, 02:22:22 PM by Queen Akasha »
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2007, 02:34:45 PM »
Hello Girls!

I love reading what each of you has to say, please chime in with thoughts or whatever, because you know we all get our strength from each other.  I'd like to know where all of you live, if that's ok.  I respect your privacy, too, and not everyone has their location posted with their screen names.  I am in Frederick, Maryland, about 30 miles NW of Washington DC.  I have been in this area my entire life.  I live in what you would call "middle class suburbia" with the big cities (Baltimore and Washington) right down the road.  DC Native, here!

OK, so let's get this straight with Camille's earlier post.  I firmly believe she was poking fun at PositiveSingles.com because everyone on there, I'd say 95%, does, in fact have herpes!  I agree with her, that you're on there to find a poz guy and they are all living with herpes and that's it!  So, my typing "Herpes.com" at the beginning of this thread was a joke and should have been in quotes there, lol!  Camille, I sure hope you didn't give the 40yo your phone number.  My goodness, I bet his mom still makes his bed and bakes him cookies, lol!

Queen.......I have officially "removed myself" from Jay as of yesterday.  Thing is, I miss him incredibly, but I respect and like him SO much that I will give him the space he needs.  Wow, I think I have finally grown up, lol!  I would always be the one to go diving head first into a situation and be assertive, in order to nip it in the bud.  I tend to step IN shit, rather than AROUND it, in order to deal with things quickly and not have them hanging over me.  Hence, my telling Jay on the phone the other night that I liked him....I believe it made him think more about our situation and that's why I got the "bad" emails yesterday.  He DID reply a few more times yest afternoon (Fri) saying he wasn't writing me off (cause I stepped IN the shit and asked, knowing it might not be what I wanted to hear....lol).  I am glad that he knows I am here, I have been so gentle with him, although I can't help but wonder if its a defense mechanism?  If I back off and give him space, I won't have to disclose.  I have only seen the man 4x in my life, first date was May 23rd in the park during biz hours, second was in another park 6/11 and we had our first kiss.  Shit, after THAT I was hooked and scared like crazy!  I wanted to see if he would "pass the test" and meet me somewhere more "in public" and he did.  He invited me to see a band on 6/22 and he knew a ton of people at the place, introduced me to everyone.  Very hot night that night, but I'll leave it at that!  ;D  I saw him again on 6/29 and had a bad stomach ache....nerves?  Maybe, but I didn't disclose yet, I told myself to enjoy the evening and the next date #5 would be it for disclosing.  Well, date #5 hasn't happened, and so.......who knows?

Queen....I can't stand it when men are "quiet" even online.  It makes me feel like I am walking on nails, you know?  Where do you live and where is Boo?  Don't you worry, I won't call Jay, I am talking to others, but I have him on the brain, most definitely!  Wouldn't it just suck monkey dick if he and I started seeing each other again in a month or whatever, then I disclose and then he runs?  OMG I hate to even think of that.  He seems so accepting of others, crap on a stick! LOL  So you've been out of circulation with dating?  Me too, since I was in a LTR and he decided he "didn't want to use a condom for the rest of his life."  We didn't get it on much anyway.  It was like taxes, you know?  About once every quarter, LOL!  We were busy building (literally) a custom log home together NW of Gettysburg in the mts of PA.  He got tested in Nov 2006 and the lab must have botched the results because they came back "inconclusive."  He went into a paranoid tailspin!  Kept getting tested every two weeks thru the holidays and dumped my ass on 12/29/06 because of the virus, after 2-1/2 years.  He's married now, no fucking comment on that one!  Grrrrr  Thing is, we hardly ever had sex, we always used protection, he was just too damn scared and uneducated.  I guess maybe its partly my fault, I should have "taught" him more about the virus.  I have had two other great LTRs since my husband died in 96, they just ended for other reasons.

Dragonette.....WHAT is the problem with your arm?  You poor girl, you should be resting it, but we all see you sneaking back to post on here, which is great!  Please DO give your opinion on men and dating here, its great to read someone else's viewpoint!    Don't be so anxious about your guy, I'm anxious enough for all of us, was doing "Pepto Shooters" the entire week before my last date with Jay, lol!  You said it right, going slow, keeping it light....It really DOES pay off, so that's what I'm doing with.....What's his name?  LOL  Dammit!  I shouldn't be thinking about him so much, this place helps me to think more about ME which is what I should be doing.

CJC (and Queen, too!)......well, its about damn time they showed me as Catch of the Day on here!  I am running around making myself mental with neg guys!  I wanted to ask all of you this:  "Have you found really quality POS guys who are similar to you as far as lifestyle, morals, values and education?"  I have not.  The normal hetero pos guys are ALL under rocks here, hiding in the DC Metro area.  The ones who slither out look like they don't take care of themselves, they are dumb as a box of rocks, and I find myself thinking , "Holy shit!  I can't take him home to mom and dad!"  That's why I date neg guys.  I have only met 2 guys in my life that were pos, one date was back in 2002 and the other was earlier this year.  The one from earlier this year is smart and we may have a connection sometime in the future, but he travels a lot for work.  Go figure.

Em....You had better NOT take a seat on the sidelines, girl!  We need your input!  LOL  If you decide to take a seat on the side, I'm gonna come over and eat gummy bears with you!  We are all here to help each other, and yes, I am sitting home alone on a sunny day, but!......The humor here is HEALTHY!   I think we got it goin' on, even if its from the privacy of our own homes and not in some guy's arms, lol!  Give me time, give me time.......  :P

Yes, its me with my lipo face in the pics and I have been on stupid Match.com since January.  It runs out in a week, and I may not renew.  I have met a lot of guys but there's always something missing, and then when YOU like someone, they don't like you.  Of course, if you're lucky enough to connect with someone who also lives close by, then you need to disclose and that can be torture (see ALL previous posts on here regarding "torture", LOL).  Oh goodness, I think I can handle rejection, maybe I should just start disclosing in an IM or after a first date if I like someone.  I have just been "socializing" with the dating, but I really want someone for keeps cause I have a lot to give.  I have a date with Fred on Monday (yes, FRED, lol, call me Wilma....), and he is turning 53 tomorrow.  Holy mother of GOD!  I am going WAAAAY out of the box with the age difference, but we are on the SAME level and his career is fascinating.  And he's hot.  And he's originally from NY and has that great accent.  And.....

OK, fuck it, am I bipolar?  Maybe its that Sustiva shit I'm on.......Two tears in a bucket, Queen...  LOL  I read that in a thread, does Sustiva really give you highs and lows?  I just thought it was my own crazy ass!  Thank you all for letting me vent here today!  If nothing else, maybe some humorous reading for all of you!  I wish we were all in a rowboat on a lake right now singing "We Will Rock You" and hanging and having a good time eating fried chicken.  Now, THAT would be true sisterhood, but thank goodness for the internet!

YOU ARE TRULY MY NEW SISTERS AND IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME   :D

OK, getting misty, gotta go!   - Cindy
« Last Edit: July 14, 2007, 02:53:28 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2007, 02:36:23 PM »
Queen!   Shit, NO, girl, I don't type that fast, lol!  I have been here typing my novel for about 20 minutes.....Read and enjoy!  As for Boo, play hard to get, don't respond right away?  :-[  Find some distractions like I have?    Where are you girl, are you up in Philly?  I could send some your way.......Love You!

Cindy
« Last Edit: July 14, 2007, 02:44:02 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2007, 03:17:27 PM »
Moonlight~~~

I am in Erie, Pa. Not that I have a problem listing where I am, it's not like someone is going to find me even though I'm not hiding... ;D...Boo lives in Illinois, hope I spelled that right. Not sure how far that is from me, I need to look it up on Mapquest. I did price a train ride from Amtrak but what gets me is the price and the delay, 6 hours in Chicago. What the hell am I going to do for 6 hours with lil money. Since it is a big city, Chicago, it's not like I would walk around somewhere, ya know? I did IM Boo when I got up but didn't expect a reply since he keeps weird hours when it comes to sleeping. Although I know it is hard, I think I am going to take your advice and fall back. I just hope it doesn't backfire on me. So, I will not send another IM til I hear from him.

There is this guy named Jesse that has been hitting me up on the personals from Pittsburgh. Which is closer to me but am a little concerned about him. After maybe the second message, he's already wanting to exchange numbers and has given me his already. He also wants to come by for a wake and bake. Now as much as I like to smoke the good green, it seems to me he is moving a bit fast.

To make things more dramatic, the ex is trying to be nosy. Now he is with another female and still messing with the smut he got with after me, who use to be a friend. I don't call her a smut because of what she did but because she has let dudes including my ex and his twin run trains on her. It is rumored she is poz and honestly I think she is just because she is really out there. Anyhoo...he sees my sons and starts asking him all types of questions about me...How she doing? She got a man? That kind of stuff and I am wondering why he wants to know? Now we have been apart for over 2 yrs, he was the last person I was with. I didn't tell him I was poz at first but when I did, he did take it good but was ignorant because he is not educated on it. I told him, he should get tested. His reply, I will but I don't think I wanna know...Um, er, ok, if that how you feel was my reply. Since being apart all this time, mutual friends go out of their way to tell me his business. I pretty much know what is going on in his life. Back to the story, he tells my son that he still loves me. I am like wtf and where is this coming from? As much as I care for him, I would not get back with him. For one, I do not want to be sexing him after being with the smut. I can't assume he was wearing condoms and I don't know if he is even infected and if he is by who? Me or her? I was with him for 4 years, the smut under a year. There is just too much at play......Like my life needs to get anymore complicated.... :-\

Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2007, 04:08:53 PM »
Hi Queen,

If I were you, and if you have the strength to put your foot down, get the guy's phone number.  It can't hurt, and you'll find out sooner if he is your type or not with a phone call.  Now you know he'll be asking to get together with you, from what you've already let on, so that's where you have to be strong and say NO.  Give him a cell number if you have it so he can't get your address.  I do that on neg guys sometimes, trace where they live, I'm so bad!  Do I remember you mentioning that you're hard of hearing too?  Is it more difficult to talk on the phone for you because of that?  Ultimately, you have to do what makes you feel comfortable.  I say a phone call can be harmless, for the most part.  But I also agree that if you have a weird feeling already about the guy, then maybe you should go with your gut.  If you're too curious do the phone call thing. LOL 

As for the ex......sounds like gossip and all to me.  You don't need to be with him, good thing you realize that.  Esp since he doesn't want to get tested, doesn't want to know?  You know what that leads to!  My late husband didn't take meds and was diagnosed in May '88 at age 20, died in Aug '96 at age 28.  There's your "eight years" being poz and not helping yourself.  I came into the picture too late when I tested poz in Dec '93--he had already had the virus for six years!  Remember, he never told me, I went and got tested and found out on my own!  So, my point with your ex is, you two have different beliefs, values and morals, even, because of his feelings towards the virus.  It is SO damn difficult to show people that the virus CAN be chronic and that meds are here to be taken!  Pisses me off!  When the ex or mutual friends ask about you, just smile and say "I'm fine, I'm fine"  Don't divulge any personal info, just keep walking, or whatever, lol!  It'll make them wonder what you're up to! 

Mr. He Knows I'm Poz called and is driving from DC to Toronto to take his daughter up north.  He wanted to stop by in Frederick tonight to say HI so I could meet her.  She is 13yo.  I put my foot down and said NO because its not right to meet kids early on, esp if you don't feel a good vibe with their Dad (ha-ha).  He is a pushy little shit, only 5'8" and I am 5' 6" barefoot, lol.  I need a big man!  Mr. He Knows is going to ask me out again and he calls me all of the time, I am just going to have to tell him he's not my type.  I don't care if he makes millions, this girl wants to be LOVED, not bought.  Sounds like he's used to getting his way, I think its funny when I won't budge -- people usu don't expect that, lol!

OK, gotta go....Cheech wants some of my yougurt-covered raisins, lol!

Cindy




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HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2007, 05:08:15 PM »
Moonlight~~

I really do hate using the phone because I get feedback from my hearing aids. I do have a cell but I use my speaker phone to talk. When I first meet someone it is hard to talk on the phone cause I get kinda shy. I just feel like Jesse is moving fast, I'd rather talk with him on messenger. I did respond back to him and mentioned that. I think he's obsessed because I am close. But you are right, I can at least have a conversation with him, it just has to be on my terms...

About the ex..I would say to a point it is gossip but my son did talk to him, so all of it is not gossip. I do think about him from time to time but only in the way of how he is just letting his life go to shit. But it is his life, if he wants to go down in a fiery blaze, so to speak, so be it. I am not out to play Captain Save a Ho, another term I use, not sure if you ever heard of that one. No one really asks about me but instead tells me what he is doing or tells me how I was the best thing that ever happened to him and how he messed up. Gossip does run rampant in a small city such as Erie where it seems like everyone is in everyone's business.

I agree about Mr. He Knows, it is kinda moving fast when you are trying to introduce you to his kid already. It doesn't seem like he is picking up on your vibe of not really feeling him. He's only 5'8, Boo is 6'2 and yours truly is 5'3...Can we say "ride him like Trigger" Hi ho silver and all that....LMAO...Sorry, I have been quite the little horny devil lately. ;D

I am curious to why you named your dog Cheech....You know I am thinking Cheech and Chong...But you know me, I always got my mind on weed... :o

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« Last Edit: July 14, 2007, 05:10:52 PM by Queen Akasha »
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

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Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #11 on: July 14, 2007, 05:27:01 PM »
I am not out to play Captain Save a Ho

OMG *SNORT*  LMAO  *SNORT*  YOU are hysterical! 

Casie was my first dog, had her for 14-1/2 years, my late husband picked her out with me from the shelter in town here.  I had to put her down the last week of April, first time I have ever done that.  I picked Cheech's name because my late husband dabbled in weed back in the day, and loved the Cheech and Chong movies!  I did too!  I picked the name and of course Dave loved it, lol!  I always said I was going to get a third dog, a doxen, and name it "Chong the Footlong"  Call me crazy!

I guess as far as Mr. Weed up by you and Mr. He Knows down here by me, they are a couple of eager beavers.

Or is that US?   :o    ;D

HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #12 on: July 14, 2007, 06:52:05 PM »
As for Boo, play hard to get, don't respond right away?  :-[  Find some distractions like I have?   

Queen - I agree with Moonlight! Fake the " I got to go." move. You dig?

And, Moonlight/Queen --- the nosebleed seats give me a chance to have an aerial view!! I have nothing to contribute (at present) except the occasional piece of unsolicited advice. In fact, Queen, I'm gonna PM you with what I hope is a helpful bit, but not man-related. Moonlight, throw the gummy bears my way, I'm having the vicarious action without all the costs!! Hoooooooraaaaaaaaaay! I hope both of you find someone you like---heck, life can be sweeter with a person we can respect and adore. 

So, I gotta climb back up to the balcony soon.

Captain Save a Ho -- too funny.

Em

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #13 on: July 14, 2007, 07:44:53 PM »
Em,

Ok, if you prefer the nosebleed seats that's fine. I am scared of heights and don't like to be too far up. We talked via PM and I appreciated your concern. No worries, gf. The Queen is on point. I have found someone I like, as in Boo but now I will fall back and stick to the sidelines. I did notice that he hasn't been logged into the personals since he met me. I guess I can consider that a good thing, right? Since I am playing the hard to get role, I guess I won't be having too much to add to this thread other than commenting on Moonlight's conquest(s). I did post a pic to my personals ad, maybe I might get a few hits. So while you are in the nosebleeds, I might have to invest in some binoculars so I can play a peepin Queen and learn from Moonlight... ;D....I thought you guys would get a kick out of Captain Save a Ho and it is pc friendly since Hos can be male or female... ;)
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

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Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #14 on: July 15, 2007, 05:27:20 PM »
Hello Ladies~~

I don't really have much to report today. I did speak to Boo last night, the convo was better than it was the night before but still had to compete with his computer. He has a huge hard drive and was still doing some work on it. He says he has been thinking about me a lot. I think what is frustrating him is that he really wants to see me. I feel the same way too. But like I told him and this is something I really believe, people's paths cross for a reason. I believe that is the case with us. We talked til the wee hours which ended up being 6am this morning. The last thing he said was that he hopes to talk with me sometime today which made me feel good.

Moonlight and I chatted for awhile on messenger. I just love her and she's funny as hell too. She will prolly have more to talk about..Personally, I am waiting to hear about Mr. Rico Suave as I like to call him..... ;)
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

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Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #15 on: July 15, 2007, 06:35:01 PM »
Hi Everyone!

I'm as bored as all hell, lol!  OK, I know Queen wants me to spill about Rico from Baltimore.  He sent me a very lengthy email on Match and I was pretty much hooked.  He is from Cuba, and all I have ever dated is "whitebread" except for a Brazilian in HS (so long ago it doesn't even count).  So, here I am wondering about the culture difference, the distance between his city and mine, etc.  We were on the phone until 330am (Queen knows, I IMed her before I tipped over and fell off my chair....), and he has been texting me all day.  He is going to call tonight.  You know what the greatest thing about him is?  Well, he has three degrees, is smart and successful, BUT with all of that he is just a normal good guy!  He is also in the medical field, which may be to my advantage if I get the guts to disclose.  He is 41 and separated, which brings me to another dilemma.  It seems that so many single guys are coming out of marriages and just want to get it on.  I mean, I can tell a player when I see one, and I definitely don't think Rico is a player at all, but here I am, little Miss Widow of 11 years.  I really want to be in a LTR with a man and hope to get married again someday.  These guys are getting divorced and never want to get married again cause some crazy bitch drove them nuts for X amount of years.  So, I am really going to try and turn over a new leaf.  Its going to be difficult because I am going to need a lot of mental strength, but #1) I am going to disclose EARLY.  I figure this will help me find a good one early on, lol!  #2) I am going to try and have more confidence in myself and quit turning down dates when guys ask.  I have been unemployed for 2 months now and I should be having the time of my life!  Instead I am sitting home on my lipo ass and only venturing out a little bit.

I just need to go for it and get it over with already.  "Rico update tonight after the evening news, lol!"   :P
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline momoftwo

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #16 on: July 15, 2007, 07:04:39 PM »
Jumping in the thread to join you ladies. I will trade my fiance for the dog!
My experience with online dating was with Eharmony which is where I met Jesse. He was on there because he had no time to look with his work schedule. I did not know that I was positive however I did tell him on the second date that if he did not think this could be serious not to waste my time. He proposed three months later so that must have worked in my favor. For me I did not want to introduce Sam to some man for him to only be around for the summer.
Here is my funny storry. I have two kids, one a six week old infant, I am HIV positive, in a relationship and planning a wedding yet I still cannot get two guys to leave me alone. You would think that the HIV would scare them yet they seem unphased by it. Weird!

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #17 on: July 16, 2007, 01:57:37 AM »
Hello,

I disclosed online to "Rico" tonight and then his friend comes over?  I thought he was avoiding me, but he did have someone drop by and then got back online with me later.  He said he was speechless for the most part, but asked if I had any probs.  Asked what my prognosis was.  I said no probs and prognosis is to be on meds, its a chronic illness.  I asked if we could talk (IM) more about it and he wanted to wait and let it sink in more.  So then he starts flirting with me and telling me he finds me attractive and all, while all I can think of is that I just disclosed to this guy!  The thing with people that haven't been touched with the virus in some way is, that they don't know how big a part of our lives it can be and how it can encompass us sometimes.  I mean, I was teary-eyed when I typed to him and disclosed, and even gave him the "out."  I said it was OK if he didn't want to meet me now.  He said he wanted to be here to hug me, but then later in the IM he turns into a horn dog while I need an ear because I just disclosed!  I just told him we needed to forget IMing cause his mind was in one place and mine was in another!  I said we'd try again tomorrow, so we'll see.  I know all guys get "wound up" and all, but his timing was way off tonight.  I tried to roll with the flirting and all, but I was hurt that he didn't consider how I felt after having just disclosed.  Well shit, one weirdo down?  Not sure.......I'll see Fred tomorrow (different guy), and maybe I'll disclose to him, too.  Hell, I could get good at this really fast!  Two tears in a bucket, girls......I'm gonna go find Cheech and get to bed, lol!  Em, you got any gummy bears left?
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #18 on: July 16, 2007, 08:31:42 AM »
Yes, ML, I have a few gummy bears left! Disclosure. Timing. Yikes. As I was reading your post I was thinking of those times I disclosed and what the outcomes were. There are just a few and they were good practice---that is, if I ever meet a negative person with whom there's mutual smitten-ness. One in particular will stick with me forever. While travelling abroad for work, I met someone and we were sweet on one another instantly. It was almost high school-like in its glow. I decided to tell him and as soon as I did, he got up, excused himself, went to the men's room, came back, sat down, with noticeable tears in his eyes. He expressed his anger at the person who knowingly infected me and then began to talk about his amazement and gratefulness toward me for telling him the truth. He realized how easy it would have been for me to withhold the truth, to put him at risk, to be selfish. And, it gave me an opportunity to forewarn him to never, ever judge any book by its cover again. He spoke of how difficult it would be for him to get meds in his country and how it would create many problems for him. He also spoke repeatedly of how much he wished it were different. And, of course, it was very obvious there was so much concern we weren't going to have the condom conversation. I was headed home and logistically, this was a long-distance relationship that would never mature.  But, the line I cherish most (in addition to many phone calls and e-mails from him since which simply inquire about how I am, that I am loved by him, that he is thankful for my truth, etc.) is this... " You save me my life."   The setting of that beautiful country. The sincere look of this handsome, dark-eyed, sweet man.  The music. The foods. The thousands of people streaming in the streets.  The feeling of not being rejected, but being deeply appreciated for being honest.  " You save me my life. "

Time for a gummy bear and a bag of popcorn! I think there is something to the notion that you (ML) could, as you wrote, " get good at this." I think the getting good is being able to figure out if the person is someone you are truly interested in, packs enough of what you seek, and then, if so, get it out as soon as possible. I am of the mindset, that if it's a dealbreaker then no timing issue will make it being a dealbreaker any less likely. In fact, past the point of "wow, I really like this person" (whether that's in one night or five dates) then, for me, it moves quickly to, and now I can only hope they're are open-minded and if not educated, willing to be.

By the way, I e-mail with a couple of positive men. While I am hopeful, despite a smidge of geographic distance, that we will meet, I don't get too revved up about it. While it would be nice to have a poz-on-poz relationship, I think the odds are slim. Frankly, I've even thought that a relationship with a negative someone who's impotent might be a perfectly delightful scene. No joke. Everyone Wins!!No Fears!! No Tears!! Bottomline--for me, it's the mindset, the hug, the kiss, and the closeness that are the long-lasting residuals.

Hey, who's that offstage? Queen, is that you?
« Last Edit: July 16, 2007, 08:37:49 AM by emeraldize »

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #19 on: July 16, 2007, 08:49:19 AM »
it is the second time that i see the kind of view as though we women are terribly infectious. the first was with Queen once saying she will not consider a neg for fear of infection. Em, you didn't save anyone's life. You would not have infected the guy if you used condoms. Period. I can understand his fear, living in a country without treatment, but the truth is, he would have not needed it. because he would have not be infected. anyway it's good you didn't get involved, long distance relationships esp with someone from a developing country are so difficult... and it's good that he was sweet and caring, absolutely, but at the same time, you didn't save him and I think his thankfullness and relief are <<just a bit>> exaggurated and melodramatic. Like my ex, he just couldn't live with it. He said he loved me, but he was just not openminded enough. He was in science so he knew a lot about HIV, it was not a lack of knowledge, it was superstition, and he kept saying I was "the greatest taboo" (yuck!). Not that I am comparing the nice Latin guy (God knows I have a weakness for them) to my a-hole ex, just the irrational fear. I beleive, if you were living next to each other and continued to meet, that at some point he (unlike my ex) would have gotten over it though.

WhenI started sleeping w/ my BF we had a condom slip, he was not worried at all but I was dead worried &set out to get him PEP, well the docs insisted he didn't need it. we then went to a clinic where we met a councellor who explained safe sex to us (not that I didn't practice safe sex, but that gave me a scare, aqnd I didn't want to have the reponsibility of explaining everything on my own). That really made me see things differently, I had thought I was a lot more infectious prior to that point. 

« Last Edit: July 16, 2007, 08:51:07 AM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline zachysmom

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #20 on: July 16, 2007, 10:32:19 AM »
To tell or not to tell.
Ladies there are men out there who are wonderful and loving. And they will find you. There are just alot of bad apples out there as well and unfortuntately we have to weed through them. It sucks because it's our emotions constantly being manipulated, well there really is no way to be emotionally detached from the process. The point is keep trying and keep putting yourself out there, someone special will come along. Your're all a bunch of wonderful people with good karma, and what goes around, comes around.

When I was doing the dating thing I wished sometimes I had a big sign around my neck that read "HIV +", and that way I could just eliminate everyone who wouldn't have anything to do with me.
People react differently to certain news. Moonlight, maybe your guy got flirtly as a way to deal with the situation that moment. Sometimes when I'm uncomfortable I start to laugh, and tell jokes as a coping mechanism. I think your guy might have had to same.

either way good luck.
Nicole
From Russia with love,
Nicole

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #21 on: July 16, 2007, 05:42:16 PM »
Dragonette

Holy cow!! I was quoting someone! WTF. Do you actually think I think I saved someone's life? Goodness! In all fairness to you, I must ask if English your first language?Try re-reading the post---it was simply a story in relation to Moonlight's post about disclosure. There was relevance if you looked at her post prior to reading mine. Further, I didn't say what country and you deduced developing--not so. Again, I don't think I saved his life THAT's WHAT HE THINKS!!!!! Pardon me, I get slightly frustrated when people skim read and come up with erroneous conclusions as to what was written. Thanks for the comment that it was good that I didn't get involved with someone long distance...what does that matter?

And...Zachysmom

Thanks for the upbeat, karma-conscious post. Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials---you are lucky to have little ones as well.

Em

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #22 on: July 16, 2007, 05:43:40 PM »
Ladies...Ladies...Ladies...


Moonlight~~~

Dang girl, I thought Rico had potential but now I don't know. I don't blame you for being a bit upset about his flirty behavior, I would've been like wtf but as someone said it could have very well been a reaction to you disclosing. Does that mean he is good with it or what? I would think he would be more understanding than most considering his one degree. Now I am trying to remember who is Fred? I swear I'm gonna have to keep a list with you.. :D I hate to say it but even though I am techically still (uses fingers in quote gesture) married, I have been separated for 6 years now. I don't think I wanna get married again so I can relate to the fellas on that one.

As far as dealing with a neg person, it is the fear of infecting them. Yeah, I know wear condoms, yadda yadda but shit happens you know..For example, condom breaks or you're so into it that the rubber slips off inside me. Yes, that has happened to me, then my bf at the time would have to play gyn and go digging for it. Then I gotta think, oh shit what was my vl last time? I also have not had good results from disclosing to anyone, it was always some drama even when it came to disclosing to certain members of my family. So to just avoid all the drama of disclosing, I figure I might as well try being with someone who could relate and not treat me like shit cause I am poz which is what the bastard did who I married. And all thru my life I kept getting the damn bad apples.

As far as me and Boo, we did not talk last night. I don't know if he was on or not because yahoo gives you the option of being invisible. I didn't stress, I did leave him a few messages...I know Moonlight, I got weak. But then went on to playing on my PS2 til 4am. I had no intentions of IMing him today and had my plans laid out. Cook dinner....play the PS2 for hours (or as me and my gf say go into a gaming coma)...record wrestling...then eventually drop off to sleep. So what happens? Boo hits me while I am on here. Not to say that I am not happy about it but I still don't have his full attention because he is having problems with setting up some virtual reality stuff concerning real estate. I guess he paid a lot for the program. But hey, I'm not tripping..And even though we are IMing, I'm spacing the replies out but he is so preoccupied, he's prolly not even noticing. I am about to get up off of here and start dinner...beef tips smothered with mushrooms,onions,garlic, and peppers over rice..Yummy...Anyone care for some?
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #23 on: July 16, 2007, 10:38:57 PM »
Hiya To Everyone Tonight,

I'm doing OK tonight, alone but content, if that makes sense.  Its nice to see everyone reply on here!  Well, Rico DID email me this evening and I replied.  Seems we're avoiding the subject of HIV, but things are light and "cool."  Mr. He Knows has called 2x from the road while taking his daughter to Canada, and I haven't answered.  He sounds like a pushy little fuck (that's French for ass, lol), but I suppose its just him trying to play it cool like so many guys do.  This is the older guy who has money coming out his ass.  He's 5'8" and I am not attracted to him, esp with the little man personality coming out now.  We argued on the phone the other day before he left town, lmao!  He was asking how to get a map offline and then I would start explaining and he would keep talking over me.  I finally told him to shut up for a minute cause he liked to hear himself talk.  It was exhausting, and he replied jokingly saying, "Listen, I like you, but I don't like you THAT much...."  I know he was joking, but he has been placed into the worthless fuck category because of that comment, hence the reason I am avoiding his calls.  I am too sensitive and that comment cut deep, so too bad little man, lol!  Onward!............

I agree with both of you, Em and Dragonette, on a few points each.  Em, I appreciate the fact that your friend was compassionate  and understanding.  I really expected to read that he got up from the table and didn't come back, that's the pessimist in me, always expecting the worst!  Ugh!  So it was nice to hear about your "good experience"!  I also agree with Dragonette about people thinking we are terribly infectious when we're not.  ...and Queen is worried that she'll infect someone herself.  My thing is this....I wish I could somehow convince potential partners that we aren't the damn plague!  People I have disclosed to are SO concerned about me, like I'm doing the damn death march.  My concern isn't my mortality, its THEIR understanding of the virus and how easily it DOESN'T have to be passed.  You don't have to get infected if you practice safe sex.  You just DON'T!  Yes, there are times when the getting is SO damn good and accidents can happen.  It happened to me in '97 and I did the same thing as Dragonette, called the doc the next day and asked about PEP for my BF.  Guys have smaller surface area, ladies, and if you are playing ride 'em cowboy and a condom slides completely off, then maybe calm down some?  I hate to admit it, but that's what I always told partners  "Take it easy"  lol.  I would tell them that sex might be awkward because if I need lube or if we need to put on a new condom, because then I would have to ruin the moment.  But I insisted that that's how it would have to be as we got comfortable with each other.  I also understand why it would be so much easier to date a poz guy, but damn where are they?  But back to Dragonette's comment, I totally agree, no one has to pass this virus if we are using protection correctly.  With me, I am outspoken in the bedroom and will speak up and say hey we gotta do this that or the other in order to be safe.  I know its pretty much in my hands to keep my partner safe (not like I even have one at the present, lol), I just wish it didn't have to be that way.  I wish more guys were educated, proactive about getting tested, learning about safe sex and transmission.  I agree that Em was just quoting what her friend said, but I see how it could be read differently and misinterpreted.  We're all sisters here so let's just BREATHE.....ok...... :)

I agree with Nicole about not being able to detach ourselves emotionally.  That was my biggest problem with Jay, the one who needs a break bec his divorce is becoming final.  (I am secretly hoping he'll sign in to Messenger tonight, but I am giving him his space, damn it hurts.)  I would love to email a link to this post to him.  He would be surprised that I am poz and then even more surprised that this thread is named after him.  Dammit, why do men do this to us?  I guess we allow it to happen to ourselves.  I can feel a lot of emotion, very deeply, but I bounce back better than I give myself credit for, so on I will go.....As Nicole said, just keep trying and put yourself out there.  I really think its a defense mechanism for me.  I read my posts and there is always some new object of my affection, I just want a little attention.  I am trying this all in a new way now, though, I will disclose more and find a good man sooner, hopefully.  I also thought about getting a t-shirt with "HIV+" in big, bold letters on the front, too.  Yeah, what would they think about my advertising, esp on my lipo boobs (lol), crazy uneducated people, it sickens me.....

Queen, I will give Rico another chance, of course.  I agree with Nicole and you, maybe he was just trying to get over the initial shock.  I am too sensitive sometimes and that's why I backed out of the IM.  Goes to show he doesn't know how big a thing this was to me.  I will enlighten him when the time is right. You know what?  Maybe YOU should go invisible online just for shits and giggles as far as Boo is concerned.  LOL  I know its sounds "Jr High" and immature, but what's wrong with a little harmless fun?  I've done that a few times and the guy is like "Where the heck were you?"  Make him miss you!  Hee Hee.  We know you're just playing PS2, so where's the harm in it?  LOL

I saw Fred tonight for a quick dinner.  My unemployed self bought for him cause it was his bday (omg he is 53).  I haven't seen him sine Feb and man is he looking fine!  He is older (but def has more to offer than little pushy man who likes to listen to himself, lol), and looked like a football coach tonight, lol!  Tan, NY accent, wearing shorts and nice shades.....We will definitely meet again.  He really helped me out too, over dinner.  He is a licensed clinical prof counselor, so I dumped all of my crap on him, except for the HIV.  ;D  I want to do that on a night when we have more time to spend together.  He was very encouraging about different aspects of my life and helped me to see the big picture, which was really nice.  It felt.....cozy, you know?  Hell, the man does that shit for a living.  Well, it worked on me, lol!

Where is Jay?.....................sigh

Cindy

HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #24 on: July 16, 2007, 11:26:44 PM »
You know what Moon, I think you are right. Even though I have been playing my game, I think I am going to go invisible on his ass. I am starting to get really upset by it all and I think it is time for me to fall back. I have even thought about really just saying fuck it all together. It just doesn't make sense that we could have the great conversations we've had  for the past few days then all of a sudden conversation goes belly up,smileys for responses, or some lame ass excuse. I get tired of opening myself up just to get my heart stomped on.  :'(
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline zachysmom

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #25 on: July 17, 2007, 01:14:30 AM »
Ladies,
relax, take a nice hot bath, light a candle, read a good book, maybe give yourself a facial.........you get where i'm going with this right?

give yourself alittle attention and forget about the guy problems just for alittle while.
 
Dating is hard as is for regular people yet alone positive ones,so give yourself a break to set back and reflect on the whole.

I have such faith it will work out for you ladies, and moonlight living in the D.C area there should be plenty of positive men, at least i would think in a major city. Are they all sum buckets?

keep us posted
Nicole
From Russia with love,
Nicole

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #26 on: July 17, 2007, 03:31:06 AM »
and moonlight living in the D.C area there should be plenty of positive men, at least i would think in a major city.

Nicole,
 
I agree. Odds are greatly in ML's favor with a major city nearby. I met one DC guy online, in fact, we met for dinner when I went to the NIH for participation in a research project. Nice person, bright, totally not my type and he's since found someone. Interestingly during dinner he said his ID doc in DC said if the nation knew how many household names are HIV+ it could turn the tide for attention paid to the disease, funding, etc. Too bad so many are in hiding---hey, ML could be dating a Senator! Ick. Ick. Only kidding.

ML - appreciate the clarification that you did understand what I wrote, context, etc. Regarding infectiousness, I understand reduced likelihood due to surface area contact, minimization of risk factors with condoms, etc. and frankly, that really doesn't enter into my thinking about HIV and sexuality as disclosure and condoms would simply be a given. Thankfully, I don't view myself as a two-legged toxic dump, instead simply as someone who will be respectful and ever-mindful if I'm ever involved in a relationship again.

Ah yes, Nicole. Relaxation. I'm going to plan that bath, candle, music setting for tomorrow night---I've been doing a lot of physical work lately and that will be perfect.  Plus, it's such an important part of care of the immune system. And, I think you're right... We'll each find someone if that's among our intentions. Tonight, I'm pleased to report, I received several e-mails from an positive e-pal with whom I started corresponding a couple of weeks ago. There's something about this person...makes me think there's actually a possibility percolating!!

I would happily surrender my balcony seat for the right part in the e-opera.

Queen, I'm with ML. Absence, if it doesn't make a heart grow fonder, will make a curious mind investigate, or an ego explode. Get busy---(in the other usage of the phrase). Start some fun searches.

Oh, and ML? Mr. 53, Good Listener Guy? Whether friend or potential partner, he sounds like a person to know better. THat is an excellent age.

Em

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #27 on: July 17, 2007, 07:39:17 AM »
Dragonette

Holy cow!! I was quoting someone! WTF. Do you actually think I think I saved someone's life? Goodness! In all fairness to you, I must ask if English your first language?

first, no, it isn't...

2nd - I got that he said it, I wrote that HIS reaction was exaggurated, so no argument there... To quote myself: "I think his thankfullness and relief are <<just a bit>> exaggurated and melodramatic"

3rd - I deduced he was from a developing country b/c you said that he said that meds are hard to obtain. As far as I know the only developed (that is, non-developing country) where people may have some trouble accessing meds is the US, and even there treatment is mostly, but not always, available.

Finally, since my post was so harshly misinterpreted and reacted to, I'll make sure to butt out of any post of yours from now on. These are big forums and there certainly are a lot of people to interact with. Franky I am quite shocked to be attacked this way. Not that it never happens on the internet, but this time I really didn't see it coming.

peace,
« Last Edit: July 17, 2007, 07:59:24 AM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #28 on: July 17, 2007, 08:05:25 AM »
Dragonette

I think we have had similar reactions to one another's posts. And, you were not attacked, at least that was not my intention. The person whom I was quoting, obviously, also was not a native English speaker. 

If you read what you wrote to me, it does read as if I don't know squat about HIV transmission. And, I think it was more than okay that I clarified. I was responding to your statement that I had not saved him and use of condoms, not the commentary on his response being exaggerated.

I agree with you that the forums are big and among the many posts I've read several of yours and because of that I was as surprised with your post as you were with my reply. Consequently, I'd like to propose we wipe this transatlantic volley from the board and begin anew.

I share a home with a person whose first language is not English, which is why I asked it of you. We are, daily, working on English, both spoken and written and it's a fabulous process. So, please understand, my intent was to gauge if I had somehow thrown you in any of my usages.

Ditto on your piece of peace.
Em
« Last Edit: July 17, 2007, 03:53:46 PM by emeraldize »

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #29 on: July 17, 2007, 08:31:05 AM »
I wrote this b/c I had a similar reaction from a guy who freaked out and preferred (I say preferred b/c he was educated but stuck to backward beliefs in the face of sceintific knowledge, as a choice) to treat me as what  ML called a toxic timebomb (might be a misquote but something in that vein).

From your original post it was not clear that you disputed his POV. I assume all people here know how un-dangerous we really are (for me, it took the "accident" with my BF to clarify that). But sometimes, b/c of what they say and all the explaining and defending we have to do it is difficult to remember that at the end of the day we don't need to excuse nothing. If a guy said thanks for saving my life, I would be torn between feeling a kind of gratefulness that he was acknowledging me and treating me nicely, and a need to shout and shake him and say "what life?! wtf are you talking about". But we can't be too agressive with our messsage, for obvious reasons.

It's like, I participated in a forum about HIV for the general public in my home country. But I quit it b/c, every time there was a factual question about trasmittion, say on giving oral to a poz female or even fingering, and I took the view that there was no risk or minimal, "theoretical risk", people would react like "you should be even grateful that someone is touching you if you are poz" and "you are always insisting that things are less risky than they actually are b/c you want to see some action". So I had to balance what I know and the factual reality of HIV with "public opinion" & I got fed up of that. I got fed up of the diplomatic, lukewarm replies of the moderators, who work for an ASO. If someone asked "I am kissing a girl and she has a cold sore, can I get infected if she is poz", they answered "the majority of infections are through unprotected intercourse so the risk is minimal". No one has ever or ever will be infected through a cold sore, the risk is zero, not minimal. But they went with public opinion on this.

Yes I rambling away. I thought that you knew for sure all the transmittion info, but I also thought that you went along with him on it. Which is understandable. God knows when my ex dumped me, I crawled on my hands and knees and participated in some humiliating "safe sex" (safe as in, no tongue, no clothes off for me, and only he gets to get off; I am disgusted to even think about it) encounters with him while what he was testing is if he could overcome his disgust. So I compared him to the (obviously non-Latin) guy of yours. Not that I think he was as bad but I compared the level of irrational persistent fear.

About what I said about the distance, it was meant to console, such as, too bad, but probably it would have been a problem with the distance anyway.

I hope it is more clear now.
 
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #30 on: July 17, 2007, 08:50:08 AM »
Considerably clearer!!! Thanks, Dragonette.

No, I did not share his POV, but knew it was not worth the effort involved in attempting to educate him particularly given the logistics. It was, however, a great opportunity for both of us to learn. It was good disclosure practice for me and it was such a shock to him that I doubt he'll ever not think about discussing a woman's status, using condoms, etc. He was overcome with all sorts of emotions at once. Truly a sensitive person, but not the type to be mean-spirited at all about it. I'm sure you're glad now your ex exited.

I greatly appreciate you taking the time to explain and look forward to reading more of your posts.

Em

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #31 on: July 17, 2007, 09:16:14 AM »
yes, clearer, not "more clear" of course.. mini English lesson there  ;D

I do think the hetero risk, esp. woman to man, is blown out of proportion, b/c as far as educators & policy makers are concerned it is better to scare the generally oblivious public than to make life easier for the minority already infected. Not that I don't advocate condoms but I read views by doctors that oral sex can transmit HIV (not rarely, not hardly ever, but like, at a slightly lower risk than vaginal unprotected sex), and not only when performed on a woman but also BY a woman... In the Netherlands the info is accurate enough, but not everywhere. Researching safe sex with my BF we found a lot of conflicting info. Also, the male-run ASOs (some not all) don't care much about stigmatizing women. Women are less infectious than men but it is not important for them to differentiate and to emphasize that. I have seen this in the bluntest way when the head of the ASO I mentioned, who is poz, gay, and also a MD, talked about washing his sperm to produce a child for him and his partner, via a surrogate, and at the same time trashed women by saying "I have zero chance of trasmittion to the baby, a poz pregnant woman on the other hand takes this risk". As a doctor he knows exactly how small the risk is, but he chose to address the public in a national newspaper saying this; This is not coincidental, but an agenda, and I wouldn't be surprised if it is fund- and dominance-related.

Take care & keep writing, too... we can learn a lot from sharing experiences here.

PS Talk about hijacking a thread... sorry ML, Queen, and all.

 
« Last Edit: July 17, 2007, 09:28:53 AM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline zachysmom

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #32 on: July 17, 2007, 10:02:12 AM »
Wow,
Ladies, you have to make up already, I'm getting a headache from reading the posts.
It's all good.
Women have always been mistreated, it doesn't make it right, but we as women have to come up with ways to combat the discrimination.
Drag,
The Doctor who made the public announcment about women and having babies at a greater risk factor, should have had a public outcry and denouncment. I would of personally wrote the newspaper and complained that it placed me into a negative light. We women have to get the message out there, we have to paint a picture out there of who we are and that we're not lepers. Did anyone see the Oprah special that Ryan was on and all those women who were poz? It was a big breakthrough. It showed we are the girls next door, just like there are men out there, so keep looking.

Okay ONE BIG HUG,
alright alittle too emotional, got my period this morning.

love you all lots,
Nicole
From Russia with love,
Nicole

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #33 on: July 17, 2007, 10:19:29 AM »
Wow,
Ladies, you have to make up already, I'm getting a headache from reading the posts.

I thought we did...

Anyway, it's all good, just didn't want to bring a lot of politics into a thread about dating. It is offtipic. But everything's so related.

Now get some rest... hate having my period... but actually it means I'm still fertile so hope it sticks around long enough so I can make use of that  :)

PS you calling me "Drag" reminded me that until they opened the women's forum I was not sure if Emeraldize, Ulong and others with a unisex kind of name were men or women. And Queen Akasha, even though she spoke in a female voice, I thought initially was a drag queen!
« Last Edit: July 17, 2007, 10:28:59 AM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #34 on: July 17, 2007, 11:25:25 AM »

Ladies, you have to make up already, I'm getting a headache from reading the posts.

Nicole,
Perhaps your headache got in the way...we did.
Re: the Oprah special...Did you mean Regan? Or, Ryan? If Ryan, I'm not aware of such a program.

Dragonette,
I think the hijack was an excellent ride. One blowout. Pulled the spare and we returned the vehicle intact! Alignment feels good...no shimmies.
Em

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #35 on: July 17, 2007, 02:29:43 PM »
....and crap, I've run out of gummy bears, lol!  You know what?  Don't feel like you're hijacking here, Dragonette is so right, all of this is related.  I keep looking at the new threads each day and sometimes there's nothing I can chime in on, although I want to.  I think its nice just to have a "space" for us to express ourselves, kind of like a journal, but better, cause we get feedback. 

Mr. He Knows IMed me today when I was away from my desk and said something like "Found a new one already?"  cause I didn't return his calls from the road.  It seems too stupid and childish to be worth my time at this point.  I don't have the energy to even be his friend cause he is a pushy little Napoleon.  Now Mr. 53....hubba hubba, lol!  He is a hot and gentle man all in one, and has a great ear, he is very encouraging, which is what I need right now.  I still need to get more distractions lined up, lol!  I was actually IMing a guy from the west coast who saw me in the Personals here and I have been trying to figure out if he is a scammer or not (just turned one in today too, lol).  He said he was going to try and set me up with his friend out my way, and it turns out the friend and I already know each other.  You may recall I mentioned him briefly in an earlier post  "He travels a lot for work.  Go figure...."  So, small world.  I really hate the feeling of not having romantic love in my life right now, but I am pretty good at tricking myself, lol!  Typing here is a new outlet for me and it is definitely something that keeps my mind off of the guys.  Nicole, you could call this my "candle" and "bath" lol!

On a sad note, I have a GF who is 54, she works as an RN where I used to work.  Her father died of a massive heart attack on Sunday, very suddenly and unexpected.  We just got off of the phone a little while ago, I sent flowers today.  I will be visiting with her tomorrow at her place for dinner, so its nice to be able to be there for someone.  She is such a strong woman, and a great friend.  I met her thru my ex BF, and he had no idea we were still in touch.  We both think he's a simple nitwit, lol.  I wonder if he'll stop by there tomorrow when I'm around?  Hmmmmm.............Anyway, Girl Power rules!

Cindy  ;D

P.S. - Just got my ADAP approval, woo-f'n-hoooooooooo!  LOL
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #36 on: July 17, 2007, 02:44:18 PM »
Hello Ladies,

Goddamn it to hell. I had just written out a whole freaking post and it got wiped out. I am glad that the misunderstanding was cleared up. What, me a drag queen? Bite your tongue. There is nothing fake on me but my hair. I have length to my own but being of mixed races makes it hard to control, so I keep it braided. I braid it myself which help save on money cause I need every penny.

Last night I was an emotional mess, I couldn't stop crying. Yes, upset about Boo. Moonlight was there to help me pick up the pieces. Now my eyes are so puffy from all the tears, it looks like someone beat the shit out of me and no cucumbers around either. Moonlight thinks he may be a player but I am not so sure of that. I do check his ad on the personals and he still hasn't been on there since the 5th which is when he responded to me. I did send him a lengthy IM last night, letting him know how I felt in which I told him it would be the last he would hear from me until I hear back from him. When I got up this afternoon, I found I had a few replies from him. He swears he is not ignoring me and that he is still having problems with his computer. He is having problems with this meds since he started back taking them. He says he will explain more once we talk. If we talk it will be on him because I woke up with a real attitude towards him. And my response to his IMs were pretty short.

Before I went to bed this morning, I did some more browsing on the personals and also went on the pozmatch site. Anyone deal with them before? It seems like there were more gay men there than straight. I will check it out more sometime today. A dude did hit me up like 5 minutes after I signed on. A nice older gentleman, he's 45, divorced, and works for the government. Hmmm, I get nervous when I see someone works for the government, I automatically think "the man". He's only been infected for about 3 yrs or I should say that's when he got his diagnosis. On the personals here, a white dude hit me up, which made me kinda excited cause I really would like to date outside my race. I am waiting for him to accept my request on yahoo. Time will only tell where that will go. I will keep you posted..Plans for today? Nothing really but the day isn't over yet... ;D
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #37 on: July 17, 2007, 04:19:51 PM »
Hi All

Quick observation I wanted to share on personals. Have you ever seen posters whose profile contains the descriptor " I don't know when I was diagnosed" ? How does that strike you?

When I look at that I usually think "how could you not?" One of the biggest news flashes you will ever have and you don't remember what day? what hour? where? from whom? Then, I move to wondering, "well did he mishit a key when creating the profile? Do you re-read or proofread? One guy's profile seemed pretty interesting, and I wrote to ask if that were true---that he didn't know, and, he didn't respond yet. I should check that mailbox today---it's been a couple weeks.

Queen, I have looked at pozmatch, but not in quite a while. I have had some interactions through that site I could have done without---nothing intimate, but some e-mails and phone calls. Nothing major. Friendly. No fires erupted.

One person, after months of messaging and phone calls, was unfortunately not a match in person. He did not take it well. And, there was no way to act it out, say it, couch it, etc. that was going to make it any easier on him. And, I'd flown to meet this person and couldn't turn right around and flee, er, fly. I wasn't in any danger, but it was uncomfortable.

So, I'm slightly gun shy. I would meet someone only in a public place at this point and have an immediate, dignified out for both parties.

Queen, I'm sorry the Boo thing led to Boo Hoo-ing. Are you still considering the "going invisible on his ass" ? It might help you get uprighted and could pique his curiosity.

53            53          53               53
sorry, something's wrong with my keyboard..... ::)


Offline camille07

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #38 on: July 17, 2007, 05:45:34 PM »
OK, so new thread, won't take as long to load now, since we're ALL so darn busy with our men (lololol)!  Yes, I wanted to reply to Camille's comment about Herpes.com, lmao!  You are SO right!  Here I am looking for a poz guy on that site, thinking "Herpes?"

Hey all-

I've been getting through this last post which took about a week.....lol
The site I was referring to was positivesingles.com BUT, they should have called it Herpes.com cause mostly everyone has herpes and JUST herpes. 

BTW I am going on my first date in a few days.  Should be interesting.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #39 on: July 17, 2007, 05:47:44 PM »
Em,

Pozmatch seems kinda lame to me. I'll give it one more try but I think I'll end up staying with the personals here. Then when I tried to google a search I came up with everything from news articles to porn. I was not happy about seeing someone else's twat on my screen. No offence meant to any lesbians, just not my cup of tea.

As for Boo, I think I needed to get that out of my system. Sometimes I hate my sign which is Capricorn, which are known to be emotional. I do tend to have a softer side which I don't show much so when I reveal it and feel some type of way when it is not appreciated. But the Queen you all know and love is back, baby!!!! I decided not to go invisible after all because there are other people I have on my list that I talk to, friends and family.


Today I had a few errands I had to run. It was a good day to get them done because it was a pretty mild day. And because of last night's episode, it felt good to be out. So, I went to my pharmacy to get some pills they owed me, bastards shorted me 11 pills. Then when I bring it to their attention, they make the excuse that sometimes other people don't need the whole bottle. Ok, I understand that but aren't they suppose to count them anyway? Which now leaves me wondering if it happened before. From there I had to go meet up with my connect on some business (wink wink). I swear he will be late for his own funeral. While waiting for him I decided to check my oil and bassed my system for the neighbors. Now remember this is in the hood, so nobody really minded. ;D

My plans for tonight is as follows: smoke, which I have already started...be online for which I am, duh?....Flip through the guide and see what's on, if nothing then it is my video game, Onimusha for me which will take up most of the night and somewhere in there EAT!!! :D

Good to see you, Camille. I thought you were cracking a joke when you mentioned Herpes.com. I'm sure you have been perusing this thread. I hope you have better luck than me...Let us know how it goes...
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #40 on: July 18, 2007, 01:06:25 AM »
Hi Everyone,

I received a very nice PM from a straight male today.  It goes to show that our posts are making a difference!  Here's part of what he had to say:

"It's been fascinating reading the dating threads in the forums of late. Especially the two dating threads in the womens forum. Why was I reading them? Because I have the same complaints, gripes, weariness, as you all do. And I'm feeling disgruntled about my dating life. I've become gun shy of meeting anyone from online dating sites because it seems there's always a surprise when we meet. So I've been following the threads hoping to glean a clue from the women posting that might help me in meeting and actually having a fulfilling and enjoyable date."

We should all be proud of ourselves for the sharing, crying, laughing and gummy bear eating we've done together here.  There are so many people looking for love who don't know quite how to find it.  Knowing that our posts help each other and others by encouraging them to not give up is something to be proud of!  Have you looked on the Positive Women's main page to see how many people have looked at Parts 1 & 2?  It really is an e-soap, lol!  Keep posting and be happy that we can shed some light on the real deal around here!  I have disclosed to two people in less than a week recently, and I got my strength and courage here, from YOU.  OK, so I gave Mr. He Knows the boot in an IM today, but he is too damn pushy (and short).  Rico and I are talking but he needs to travel on business.  I think I am on the warpath now, nothing can stop me, and I am smiling and very hopeful!

I have a date with Mr. 6'5" this Friday (making up for the short guy, lol).  A little nervous cause if he's not my type you can't really hide in the restaurant, you know?  LOL  Wish me luck.
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #41 on: July 18, 2007, 01:28:28 AM »
I think it's great that a man sneaked a peek. Most men prolly thought we were gonna be bashing men in this thread...No bashing, just sharing our experiences of the type of men we have come across on dating sites. It also gives them an idea of what we are thinking and feeling. Ok,now Moon, don't tell me you got a date with this person? If so, Go You.... ;D

As I mentioned earlier, I had cast my feelers out again for someone with potential. I did get a nibble. But I am wondering, is it all men or just some men, I'll explain what I mean. By nibble,I mean I got a response but it wasn't even a sentence. Are men not capable of writing a paragraph? It is a dating site. I can't get much information about a person if all they write is 4 words. Um, hello, this is not Wheel of Fortune and my name is not Vanna..*sheesh*...My next issue...ok in the profile it say something along the lines of if you  have another STD...Why do people choose to leave this blank? I think it is a good to answer since we all share one std in common. Even if you don't want to say what it is at least say something. When I see that part blank, I move on because I feel someone is hiding something.

I think that is about it for me at the moment. I took a short break from the game but is about to get right back to it. It has helped me to relieve some frustration because of you know who.......Toodles....
« Last Edit: July 18, 2007, 01:31:35 AM by Queen Akasha »
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #42 on: July 18, 2007, 06:45:48 AM »
Hello, I have lots of gummi bears, lemonheads and Cherry Sours if you ladies run out of candy. I got lots of english goodies too. Recently that guy I liked from Florida called me. I am feeling him out because I am not sure what his deal is. He says he is moving to SC  this weekend , which would be much closer. I wanted him then and he just dropped off the radar. We shall see how this plays out. I will keep ya'll posted.  Cristy

Offline sweetasmeli

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #43 on: July 18, 2007, 06:54:30 AM »
When I get back to the UK I must start giving these dating threads closer inspection. So far nothing to add personally but have been browsing/scan-reading with increasing intrigue. ;)

I will say this: Women rock!

Melia 8)
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Yeia kai hara (health and happiness) to everyone!

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #44 on: July 18, 2007, 08:04:09 AM »
Quick observation I wanted to share on personals. Have you ever seen posters whose profile contains the descriptor " I don't know when I was diagnosed" ? How does that strike you?

For me, it is confusing with "how long are you poz", I know it's not the same thing, but I for example am aboiut 10 years poz but diagnosed for a year and a half. Maybe that's why some people choose the "dunno" option, because there is too big a gap between the infection and diagnosis. Or maybe it's all in a drug-induced haze somewhere is the past for some  ;)

"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #45 on: July 18, 2007, 08:24:33 AM »
When I get back to the UK I must start giving these dating threads closer inspection. So far nothing to add personally but have been browsing/scan-reading with increasing intrigue. ;)
Melia 8)

I have been wondering why you don't post but I figured you were busy unpacking - thought you were there already!

Even though I'm in a relationship, I still take risks and put myself on the line every day in it. I am not used to interacting with men like this and it has changed everything. From the moment we started I had to act in atypical ways, call and ask a guy out for a start, then just grit my teeth and bear it as he took his sweet time kissing me (2 months), sleeping with me (3.5!) and committing to me (6 or so?), not unlike you ML with Mr Sexy DIY (I do imagine him as the plumber/killer from Desperate Houswives)... I have realized, that there is woman time and man time. In man time, everything is slower... much slower. And quieter. It is so hard to hear I love you for instance, that we have a joke, in which he says bbuuuurrrrgggllll you (some incoherent blubber instead of the L word). Now it is great, but it was so stressful. Guys are different. Guys are like, "mmmm, I miss her, I should give her a call sometime, maybe tomorrow". Women are like, I need to be reassured now!! Also, when guys do something, they can only do one thing. I am sure my BF does not think, or remeber that I exist, while he is working. In the rare occassion that he does, he sends an email, "thinking of you", whereas if I sent an email every time I thought of him at work, his inbox would be full in a day. When you try to have a long distance, or virtual (messenger et) r-ship this is even more evident. Remember it is sceintifically proved that men use less words than women, and are much less comfotable discussing emotions or even tninking about them... I am sure I don't need to teach experienced women all this Mars-Venus biz, it's just that I very recently fully realized it myself so I am excited about this relevlation.
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #46 on: July 18, 2007, 09:44:21 AM »
I am not used to interacting with men like this and it has changed everything. From the moment we started I had to act in atypical ways, call and ask a guy out for a start, then just grit my teeth and bear it as he took his sweet time kissing me (2 months), sleeping with me (3.5!) and committing to me (6 or so?), not unlike you ML with Mr Sexy DIY (I do imagine him as the plumber/killer from Desperate Housewives)...

Hi Dragonette,

I am much like you, learning to ask a guy out and trying to get my confidence back over the past few months.  Jay, the one who I haven't heard from in days bec I am letting him breathe (bad divorce guy), took his sweet time before asking me out more.   We had only met a handful of times and he lives right across town.  He has young kids and a full schedule, but still...I don't know if I should write about him in the past tense or not  :( 

I don't know where you got the idea that I have a sexy Mr DIY guy, because I have no one.  I am probably the loneliest girl on here, but I have been turning over a new leaf lately, trying to come out from under my shell.  There is never a shortage of dates, but there is usually a shortage of connections.  I think its mostly my fault bec I date neg guys and hold back for fear of disclosing.  I HAVE disclosed 2x in just the past week so you could say I am pushing myself in the right direction.  Its still pretty scary.  I get my heart set on one guy (Jay, who I'm not even seeing now, and who never found out my status) and nothing else seems to matter.  That's where I end up selling myself short, putting all of my eggs in one basket.  I have a great personality and have no problem meeting guys thru dating sites.  Its just that I have been "clamming up" for fear of disclosure.  I keep telling myself to chill out and relax.  Another thing I have noticed is that I probably think that I am unworthy.  I struggle with that.  I can name a few great things about myself, but I am quick to discount them because of fear of disclosure.  For example, I'll find things wrong with myself, or convince myself why Mr. So and So shouldn't ask me out a second time.  Because, God forbid if we hit it off, I'll have to disclose.  Must be those damn highs and lows from Sustiva!  I am up way too early today, didn't go to bed until 230am, and woke up thinking about Jay around 7am.  I miss him a lot.  We used to IM in the evenings and we were really starting to date more.  What stinks the most is that he was really a good catch, really good for ME, and I really saw myself disclosing and him staying around. 

I think it's great that a man sneaked a peek. OK,now Moon, don't tell me you got a date with this person? If so, Go You.... ;D

Nope, Queen, he is out west.  The date with Mr. 6'5" is with a neg guy, of course......sigh

Quick observation I wanted to share on personals. Have you ever seen posters whose profile contains the descriptor " I don't know when I was diagnosed" ? How does that strike you?

Em, I meant to answer this earlier.  This strikes me with a very bad first impression!  I can understand someone seroconverting but then not getting diagnosed until years later, but you know what that means....Risky behavior and not getting tested!  Irresponsible if you ask me, and those are the types that I just cannot relate to.  Also, if someone was  diagnosed and they can't tell you when it was?  Well, HELLO, get your head out of your ass.  I remember the very day I was diagnosed, and I can pinpoint the timeframe I seroconverted based on when my last test was.  I may sound harsh, but its only because I got tested on my own, thinking nothing of it of course, that I found out about my status.  I'm sure many of you have read my posts and know that my BF (who became my fiance a week later and ultimately my LATE husband) passed the virus to me, fully aware that he was pos.  He ASKED to NOT use a condom 2 or 3 times, and that's all it took.  We had been dating a year, had bought a home together, I loved him and wanted to save him.  I knew I wasn't going to let this virus get me, but him, I feared it was too late.  He died after we were married only a year and 10 months.

This girl is tired of being single!  Where are you guys?!  Hell, we have proof now that you read our posts, lol!  Thanks for letting me vent this morning.

Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #47 on: July 18, 2007, 10:12:46 AM »
I don't know where you got the idea that I have a sexy Mr DIY guy, because I have no one.  I am probably the loneliest girl on here

I know that you guys dated several times and had fun that's what I meant. I know he is not yours yet but there was a connection...

I know how lonely it can be. It's like a wound or a void, and it's scary too. I know it... I have spent years alone, some in foriegn countries. I have spent 48 hours around new year's walking in the biggest city in the world among crowds of cheering, drunk groups and couples, without talking to anybody. I have spent weekends without speaking to a soul except thanking checkout girls at the supermarket...

Some of it is up to us. Changing attitude, experimenting. A lot is up to luck and fate.

I say open up to Mr 53, not just or necessarily about HIV, about who, what you are... If this were a movie or a novel, the audience would be rooting for the patient, mature councellor over the long-legged hot divorced guy. And hang in there Pretty Lady
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #48 on: July 18, 2007, 10:13:23 AM »

my BF (who became my fiance a week later and ultimately my LATE husband) passed the virus to me, fully aware that he was pos.  He ASKED to NOT use a condom 2 or 3 times, and that's all it took.  We had been dating a year, had bought a home together, I loved him and wanted to save him.  I knew I wasn't going to let this virus get me, but him, I feared it was too late.  He died after we were married only a year and 10 months.

This girl is tired of being single!  Where are you guys?!  Hell, we have proof now that you read our posts, lol!  Thanks for letting me vent this morning.



Hi ML
Thanks for the comments and thanks for sharing about our perfectly welcome peeping westerner!! I'm envisioning lots of folks are enjoying our volleyball game. I hope so---it is definitely one way to learn about how others think and feel.

So, here's why I quoted you above. I'm confused. Did you find out you were poz while your husband was still alive? If so, did you ask him why he didn't tell you? If I read the sequence as you posted it, I think he was alive. If so, that had to be an incredible issue on top of his rapid decline and such a recent marriage. Whew!

Dragonette! You have a point about the possible confusion between diagnosis and seroconversion being a reason for not stating a year. However, most people put down something. Seems many folks are able to roughly figure when they were infected, and many use that year while others use the actual year of diagnosis. Leaving it blank just makes me hear Homer saying Duh! Thanks for sharing your new navigational skills, too. You help to remind us all that just because you're in a relationship the challenges and ensuing course-correcting does not end. Heck. You and I are simple, recent proof of that!! ;D I hope you continue to share what you learn.

ML -- I WISH you had a DIY guy then I could borrow his handy self and make some progress on some house projects! Isn't Mr. 6'5" Mr. 53? Or, am I confused again. Did you find someone else? Hey, you are NOT the loneliest girl here--you may not claim that title. You have to share it. Sometimes, I have the lonelies, but most times I just figure I will tough it out and hope for the best, but not set myself up for avoidable hurt as opposed to the unavoidable potential for hurt inherent in giving one's self to a loving relationship.

When I was a kid, while washing dishes, I would stare at this quotation my mom had posted on a shelf, I believe its author was St. Xavier? dunno, not Catholic, but the quote stayed with me...."You risk crying when you dare to let yourself love." And, that is true with men, friends, pets, etc.

So, okay, everybody into the deep end of the risk pool we should be safely swimming in. No running. Get there in one piece.

Em
« Last Edit: July 18, 2007, 10:15:11 AM by emeraldize »

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #49 on: July 18, 2007, 08:34:07 PM »
Hello Ladies. So I talked to that guy again today and won't any more. He is just looking for someone to tend to him. I have 2 children already so NO THANK YOU!  But I will continue to look and know that there are some good ones out there. Em ,I like that quote,."You risk crying when you dare to let yourself love." and feel it is so true. I have gotten to the point where I have a hard time getting close to anyone but I'm trying. Luck to us all. Cristy

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #50 on: July 19, 2007, 12:34:43 AM »
I really don't have much to report today. Today, I got a reply from Nibbler, who I spoke on briefly in the previous thread. He is an Indian, not like Apu but like Crazy Horse. And he must have read my post on here, I doubt it but just saying because he actually wrote more than 4 words. He seems to be a busy man...He volunteers somewhere and he is also into artwork as in sculpting. He gave me the name of the place of his employment so I could talk to him but the weird thing is he asked that I not tell anyone he is +. Now I'm thinking to myself, why would I do that? But I could also relate to his fear. Not sure where this will go..The last Indian I was with required my services to help him lose his virginity....I swear it's true but this was back in the day. Ooooh that sounds kinda whorish. I use to go with him if that makes it any better.

The white dude whom we shall call Balmer, thanks for that nick, Moon. I still haven't heard anything from him. As far as Boo, I have noticed he checked his personal ad yesterday morning and I did receive an IM from him. Just weird to me because he was having so many problems with his rig, as he likes to call his computer, but had the time to check his personals... ??? Not sure how to take that. I'll just roll with it.

I have been checking on Pozmatch but I swear there are more gay men there than hetero men. I don't think I'll find anyone on there but will jump on from time to time for shits and giggles. I have ventured out to do daily errands but have still been engrossed in my video game. I'm actually at the end just about and I only started it a few days ago....On to Onimusha Part 2...

I also decided to try my hand at gardening. No, I don't have a yard but I did start some plants and already 2 seedlings has sprouted. I am so proud of myself. I am usually known for killing plants and fish.. ;D I did get 2 movies from Netflix today but hasn't had the chance to check them out..One is a Jet Li movie, I just love martial art movies and Jet is fine as hell to me. Still bummed that he retired after making Fearless. And for comic relief cause I really need to laugh, I got Little Man with the Wayan Brothers.. Have a good evening ladies....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #51 on: July 19, 2007, 01:32:57 AM »
Oh dearest Toke and Haunt Us, oops, I mean, Pocahantas (sp?) perhaps it's your peace pipe (piece of pipe?) that draws Indians your way!! I'm laughing here, envisioning you in a teepee making sure that the right to and the rite of passage (so to write) for a young brave is honored and memorable. Gee, I'm gonna grab the mane of the closest Pinto and gallop off toward slumber.

Cristy
Glad you liked the quote and sorry you found a needy one, but there's another headed your way. BTW, how are you feeling? I posted in the Sisters' Hysters thread, but perhaps it's easier (more likely) to find you here instead.

Em

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #52 on: July 19, 2007, 12:53:23 PM »
Hi Everyone,

I want to know what Queen is growing in her garden, lol!   ;)    Let's see, I have been widowed 11 years, so yes, I found out I was poz while my husband was still alive.  Thing is, he wasn't my husband when I tested poz.  We got engaged a week later.....I will try to find the link to Tim's (thunter) thread about lyrics and songs that matter.  I posted in there a few days ago, one song each for my late husband who died in '96, and another for my recently exBF who dumped me in Dec '06 because of the virus.

I saw a couple last night and the husband told me that my ex BF actually met a girl online and married her 3 WEEKS after meeting her.  Now I hear she has cabin fever in the house that was to be mine.  She is going to take him for all that he has....Not my problem, but dammit all.

As for the men, lol!  Mr. 53yo and Mr. 6'5" are two different guys.  I got home from my friend's last night and what do I find after 6 days of laying low?  Jay emailed me yesterday afternoon!  Ask Queen, I was IMing her late last night, all crying and confused, hopeful, happy and sad all at once.  Apparently he has been having a rough time with the ex and has taken the kids to an amusement park today.  I will still lay low and not be so forward, not seek him out online, like I used to.  It just stinks cause he is really one of the good guys and treats me very respectfully.  I just got my panties in a bundle about a week ago, thinking I would see him again and finally disclose, on Friday the 13th of all days.  Turns out he went to his weekend house alone to clear his head and concentrate on the divorce.  It was very emotional, getting myself revved up for that #5 date and then having him say the timing was off.  I'm surprised he's written back so quickly.  I'll keep you posted.  (I'm excited as all hell to hear from him, like Queen said, he's thinking of me).  He said he tried to email me Tuesday but it bounced back.....

I like Em's quote as well, "You risk crying when you let yourself love."  THAT makes perfect sense to me.  I couldn't sleep last night because of Jay.  I get restless.  I actually prayed to God, and said that I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be but I didn't understand why.  I prayed for all of us women, prayed that God would take care of us, teach us how to take care of ourselves in the best way possible, and take away this damn loneliness that some of us are feeling.   Someone always said, and I think it was my grandmother, "When you cry, the angels will come."  Well, I cried enough for all of us last night.  I am very deep, very intense and not afraid to feel emotions, even when they are bad.  I think its what gets me through and makes me stronger.  Like I said earlier, step IN shit and not AROUND it, face it head on.  That's what I do with my emotions when I'm upset.  I find it cathartic.

I am thinking about applying for disability because I am a walking band-aid.  May have to start a thread on that and get some advice, really never thought it would come to this.

More soon to my best buddies!

Cindy

P.S. - Here is the link to the "lyrics thread."  Scroll down to July 14th postings, replies #69 and #71.  That should make things a bit clearer.  Yes, that was supposed to be my dream house, dammit, it just wouldn't of had Mr. Right in it, lol!

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=11194.msg172755#msg172755

Not sure if this link is working, so go to "Off Topic Forum:  Lyric Picks & Songs that Matter" started by thunter, aka "Timtation"  lol
« Last Edit: July 19, 2007, 01:01:27 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline zachysmom

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #53 on: July 19, 2007, 10:12:34 PM »
Hang in there Cindy,
I don't know if it's in the air or in the water, but you got me crying reading your post today.
Please don't despair, it will work out, you are no longer lonely, you have the girls watching after you.

Much love,
Nicole
From Russia with love,
Nicole

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #54 on: July 19, 2007, 10:52:50 PM »
Thanks, Nicole, it was a stressful night last night, being alone with my thoughts of Jay.  I have put my feelers out though, like you wouldn't believe, though.  I still have to distract myself!  I think the tall guys are gravitating my way.  Mr. 6'5" is tomorrow night, but in the meantime, two others, each 6'5" and 6'6" have emailed.   :o

Where are the POZ guys?  Are they all on the West coast?  I cancelled Match.com tonight, I have enough to deal with.  We'll see what happens.....

Sleep Tight,

Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #55 on: July 20, 2007, 12:03:05 AM »
Look what I started, I start bawling and now everyone is bawling. Kinda feels good once it's over at least it does for me because I am the type to hold things in and let them build. Puffs anyone? What am I growing in my garden you say?MMMMMMM....Mums...Lmao...I started 2 different pots. The one pot has already sprouted but the other one hasn't. I'm wondering if I put the seeds too far in? So, I just put  some more seeds in. It rained here today and I think it's gonna be pretty cool tomorrow so I brought them in. If they take and get to growing good then I will assign names. I am open to suggestions.. ;)

Today was really a bad day for me. My son calls me and tells me that he got into with my sister, the one who raised him...Long story but if you got questions, by all means ask. Of course, she had to talk shit about me. He defended me and he says he is done with her because she is full of hate. It's funny how things come full circle. When she was raising him, she turn him against me. Had him calling her Mom and me Aunt. Ass backwards isn't it and it use to drive me up a wall. That was my is my sister's way of sticking it to me. But now he calls me Mom or Ma Dukes and he finally sees her for what she is. Thank the Goddess for karma. But I also know it is not over because my sister likes to be vindictive. I am just waiting to see what she is planning.

Then to top it all off, I get up and my cable, phone, and internet was off. And before you asked yes I paid the bill, on check day to be exact, that's when I pay all my bills. Since I am hearing impaired, I talk on my cell via speaker phone. I call the cable company asking what the hell is going on and the customer service rep asks me if I have her on speaker. I say yes and she asks me to take her off. Sorry but I lost it. I gritted through my teeth about needing to use it because of my hearing. Now I know she had no clue about my hearing but why ask to be off, don't they record their calls for training purposes or whatever lame excuse they use? Come to find out there was an outage somewhere in the area. What a day. Well, since no cable, I had to leave the house. Actually I could've been on the PS2 but promised a friend I would stop by today. Also I needed to take a break from the PS2 because now my rib actually hurts on my left side.

Nothing popping as far as the dating thing, thought I would mention since it is the topic but I strayed off the subject. Sorry Moon. I got no hits today. :-[ But tomorrow is another day.........
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #56 on: July 20, 2007, 05:03:56 PM »
Oh crap, it is 5pm here and my date is at 7pm.  Mr. 6'5" has been downgraded to "Gumby, dammit."  He can't figure out WHERE to meet for dinner and doesn't like chain restaurants.  I have scary sick intuition and my gut has been SCREAMING all week to not meet this guy.  He just called me on his way home in traffic and still couldn't figure out where to eat.  I named all of the (chain) places I usu go to, and he was just blundering on the phone.  I AM NOT GOING TO MEET THIS GUY TONIGHT!  I am too chicken to call him back right now, but when he calls later I will say I just don't feel like its a good night.  He was always a little nervous on the phone, and I gave him the benefit of the doubt.  We were supposed to get together about 2 months ago and I left a voice mail which he didn't get cause he didin't check his phone.  It was like I was stood up that night because he was a dumbshit.  He is definitely not a man, lol!  I am going to take the dog for a ride to my Dad's work to pick up some things and when GUMBY calls I am going to say, "I feel really bad, but tonight just isn't a good night."  Not my fault if its not a good night cause he is a dipwit.  Some things just aren't meant to happen.....

Jay emailed me this morning and sent a pic of his kids from the amusement park yesterday.  He says he is feeling better.  I should just go knock on his door and jump his damn bones!  HE, ladies, is a REAL MAN!

Shit shit shit, two tears in a bucket and all that crap, I can't believe I am going to cancel at the ninth hour!  I feel SO bad, but you know what?  That's why God gave me RADAR, I should have paid attention much sooner!

"Full story at 11."

LOL....................sigh.................... ::)

Cindy

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Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #57 on: July 20, 2007, 05:18:01 PM »
That's right, following your radar's read out will save you time and energy and will save him money and energy.

Gumby, too funny. The name you assigned that I like best so far is Mr. He Knows.

Well, I didn't have a date to cancel. My life is boring compared to yours. So, I try not to compare it to yours!!

I'm going to see Michael Moore's flick tonight with my friend. And, the weekend agenda is comprised of a list of DIY projects. I'll just have to figure out what the performance rewards are: walk in the park? ice cream? bike ride? visit friends? see another movie? driving range? horseback riding?

Or, log onto aidsmeds.com for a guilt-free hour.

Decisions, decisions.

Em

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #58 on: July 20, 2007, 08:03:46 PM »
Hello ladies. Not much going on here either. Cindy, I hope you didn't go on your date. It's always wise to listen to your gut feelings.                   I hope everybody has a good night. Cristy

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #59 on: July 20, 2007, 08:31:24 PM »
I got back from seeing Dad at 6:20pm and Gumby still hadn't called from 2 hours earlier!! (Date was set for 7pm).  I go to test my blood sugar and its 350, same as an hour ago when I took insulin!!!!  I was pissed, my pumps have been screwing up lately.  I wonder if its my lipo belly that could be the problem, not sure.  Ironically, was IMing with a guy online and he does research on insulin pumps, so it was like IMing the "Help Desk."  LOL  Anyway, my sugar was high, I was uncomfortable physically and Gumby hadn't called.  I took the frustration I felt towards the sugar level being high and channeled it into calling Gumby myself!  He picks up the phone and says, "I've been home for a half hour and was just getting ready to call."  Hell-O?!?!?!  Guy is weird....so I say, "I'm sorry, I'm going to have to cancel.  My blood sugar is sky high and my pumps have been acting up."  I know it sounded like a line to HIM, but I knew it was the truth.  Hell, at that point, I called it Divine Intervention, I had a legitimate reason why I couldn't meet with this guy tonight.  I must admit that him not being able to take initiative and decide on a restaurant REALLY opened my eyes as to how he is as a person in everyday life.  I am a planner, a thinker, I have a schedule bec of health/meds, etc., whereas he is laid back and can't decide on anything.  That would drive me insane, hell it already HAS!  So, NO I did not go to see him.  I IMed online and this hot Norweigian saw me and we chatted.  He is only 5'8" (and Norweigian?) but is handsome as all hell, blonde, blue, PERFECT teeth!  He wants to drive up on Sunday and see me since I am busy tomorrow.  We're playing it by ear, he is affiliated with the army.  Yes, he's neg....what did you think, lol?  No, he doesn't know....lol.  Same shit, different guy, lol. 

Tomorrow night I am meeting up with an old old friend of mine that knows me from elementary school.  I have only seen him 2x in the past 20 years and we had lost touch about 6 years ago.  Turns out, he is the one who helped Jay move his grill back to his house last week.  He freaked Jay out, kept asking questions about me and Jay was like , yes, yes, yes.....Finally the friend let on that he knew me from a previous life!  The friend has a GF and the GF works in Jay's office.  Damn, she has seen him more than I have!  She gets to see him 5 days a week, lol!  I am definitely going to talk to the GF and friend about Jay and they can go tell him how great I am, and how he'd better ask me out again........dammit.

OK, time to chill and watch a movie........Watch out for Queen McRib tonight   :D

Thank goodness for my dog, Cheech!

Cindy


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Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #60 on: July 21, 2007, 02:05:39 AM »
Hi there,

good that u listen to intuition.
I don't think you need to worry too much about J., the fact the he sent you a pic of his kids speaks volumes. just hang in there and take it easy. he is obviously slowing things down because he is just out of a divorce. but this is a definite act of closeness.

a friend of mine just had a strange instance with an apparently not-so-divorced guy she met online, who is also poz and kept his status to himself until being quite deep in the relationship. I have heard of many similar stories happening, also to non-poz people, I am not saying J is like that! at all! he couldn't be, not with you knowing his circle etc, just saying that on the internet it is always important to take things with a grain of salt. But if someone chooses to lie consistently, there is not much we could do.

yes going back to J., I can see how disclosing might become more difficult as he physically removed himself for a while. but I am sure you will find the moment. if you tell it the way you told us - the whole story from beginning to end how you got HIV and how you coped with it, there will not be much he can do but admire you. if he gets scared about transmittion, send him to me (lol)! seriously I am thinking of setting up a website for magnetic couples so that people can freely talk about it and new couples can get to see how not-such-a-big-deal-after-all it is, at least not sexually. people always think it's the sex but that is hardly a problem. I remember just being diagnosed, hoping to stay with my ex, and reading through the serodiscordant couples Q&A section in the body, man these doctors are grim, it was all like "it's up to you", "whatever you feel comfortable with", "taking the risk", "it has been suggested that", "there are in fact couples" - you know American docs afraid of taking responsibilty by actually saying something tangible, or they might be sued... Thank God I had that talk at the clinic, not even a HIV clinic, a public health clinic from the local municipality, and the woman was so straight forward. Do this, do that, don't worry, women are much less contagious. It was so laidback and matter-of-fact. But I am digressing. Please when you disclose to him, and I know it's hard to do because we so fear accepting responsibility for us, don't underestimate from the sheer tininess of the risk. Now, if I said that on a general public HIV forum as I did before, I would be flamed to death, but I am just not willing to accept wrong or misleading information for the sake of maintaining general health for ignorance.

The fact is HIV is way more complex than it is presented. The fact is that when I had thought I knew something about it I knew the tip of the iceberg. I had no idea for instance, how many men completely deny (even to themselves!) having sex with other men and how, if you would discuss sexual health and previous partners with them, they would of course completely fail to mention that and talk about female partners only. And there are many more examples of what I didn't know, and I was relatively educated about HIV.

I think we should start a special sex ed for women "everything you already thought you knew about sex but didn't know s*** about". Even "experienced"  women don't know much. We have so much to share, and it isn't man-hatred, it's self-preservation. I mean, I grew up not even knowing about HPV! And that's just one example. Now you see "girls gone wild" gyrating all over the place and pretending to be their celebrity role models, and they don't know anything. People think a condom will protect from anything, and that it can be removed as a sign of trust or love. And people don't realize that some men lie, a lot. of course not all, but those that do, do it so ruthlessly and systematically, not just about HIV, about a lot of things, that it causes so much damage. I remember lying next to a guy after having sex with him, it was back home and I was between BFs, and he was a good friend of a girlfriend, we had dated a few times and ended up in bed (that's another thing, most women that I know go to bed at the "appropriate time", that is the 3rd, or maximum 5th date, esp young women). We used a condom naturally, and after it was over he just asked, all casual like, "have you heard of genital warts?" and then proceeded to explain, of course, he conviniently forgot to mention that a condom does not prevent HPV transmittion. One thing, I didn't, second, he didn't bother telling me he had them till after the act, third, he was afraid of not getting any if he told, which is probabaly what would have happened (but not if I loved him, then I would just wait till he had it sorted, even if it took months; by not disclosing he killed off any chance of that). Luckily I was not infected, thank Godess b/c with HIV that can be quite a mess.

So, after this long Sat morning rumble, I am off for a jog, beautiful weather for a change. Today we are going to Ikea to buy 2 single beds and put the double in the living room. We live together but not always sleep together, usually just on weekend, because we need the full rest. So we have another bed in the living room and the double in the bed room, but now I want to have two singles in the bedroom. I say why fight it, it was my idea actually, who says that you can't have seperate beds, whenever we travel I ask specifically for that. We have to do what's comfortable. And tomorrow see my poz friends.

Do what's comfortable... it's something that's so easy to forget...
Hugs!!!
« Last Edit: July 21, 2007, 02:18:17 AM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #61 on: July 21, 2007, 03:14:48 PM »
Hi Dragonette,

Thank you for the long post, I always love reading what all of us girls have to say here!  Yeah, Jay has gone from about 50% and on the upswing to about 5% or practically non-existent.  We used to IM every night.  The last IMing was 10 days ago. The last time I saw him for a date was the last weekend in June so it has been awhile.  He had sent me pics of the kids before which was nice.  After his nephew's hs graduation he sent me a pic called "Jay and Sisters" and I thought it would be a recent pic from the graduation.  Turns out it was a picture from when he was 6 months old, in black and white, with his 4 older sisters.  And now he sends me the pic of his kids in the park from last week.  I know I am looking too much into this.  I wonder if he is just a nice guy or if I am someone special?  I actually put him on the spot in mid-June, telling him that I hoped he saw more in me than just the potential to get me in bed, lol.  He said if he didn't see more than just a pretty face he wouldn't have stayed in touch with me.  Of course, my immediate, pessimistic, first thought was "Oh he's a player and giving me a line."  But after time I saw he was sincere.  Now all of that is blown out the damn window since I never hear from him anymore, except for the other day in the email.  Its actually easier when he isn't on my mind.  If I am distracted and doing something, I do OK.  When I got that email, I was so happy and excited that I started crying out of fear.  The see-saw of emotions is exciting, but it sucks sometimes. 

Well, I think the old friend from my past life is bringing some single guys along tonight, and HE might not even bring his GF.  There will be planty of opportunity for me to strike up a conversation without looking like a lonely wallflower.  My favorite band is in town, and we are going to see them.  I am worried because my fibromyalgia and bad neck are acting up from being on my feet today.  I get tipsy and lose my balance due to a very tight neck (previous injury).  The docs say that my neck muscles are so tight that the occipital lobe (deals with perception) at the base of my skull is being affected!  It makes perfect sense and I have been dealing with this for about 5 years now.  So, I am worried because this place is standing room only and I feel stupid, looking healthy and vibrant, and in desperate need of a chair to sit on.  That is why I have thought about disability.  I mean with the HIV and diabetes its bad enough, but being unbalanced after about ten minutes standing or even from driving fast, its been pretty tough.  I am exhausted now and its 3pm.  I am going to take a nap and then get ready to go out later.  Mr. Hot Short Norweigian wants to go on a museum tour in Frederick tomorrow and I'm worried about being on my feet!  I will go though, I know downtown like no one else, and he is traveling from a ways away.  I am going to do my best to "get out there" and mingle until I tip over or pass out, lol.

I'll keep you posted.

Em, thanks for the PM, very sweet words you sent to me, and I appreciate everything all of you have shared.  It really helps because I am at a crossroads and I don't know what to do with my life as far as working.  My health is really tough, esp the neck issues.  I am getting things worked on and try to stay active, but its so exhausting!

More Soon!

Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #62 on: July 22, 2007, 02:25:16 PM »
Hello Ladies~~~

I know I haven't posted anything in awhile but there really has been nothing to report....til today!!!! I still haven't heard anything back from T, the American Indian or Balmer, the white boy from Baltimore. Not sure what's going on there. Cruised around on Pozmatch, ugh, I swear I am leaving that site alone. So far I have talked to a divorced guy, ok, no prob there, just hasn't seen him anymore. Then an African was trying to talk to me but am not attracted to Africans. Then this one guy, another white dude, ims me. It was cool for a minute but then he acted like he didn't want to let me go to bed, so I just logged off on him. Talks to him on yahoo today and the first thing that comes out his mouth is about anal sex? I'm like, WTF, seriously. I answered his questions but he still kept harping on it...He's most definitely cut off...I will forever be invisible to him... :D But then I got a very nice surprise, Boo imed me. Yes, girls, Boo. The first thing he says is why did I think he didn't want to talk to me anymore..Hmmm, well no response in 5 days would make the average person think that right? Come to find out, he has been in the hospital, his meds were doing a number on him, so they kept him. I am talking to him now as I write this and I must say the responses are coming back to back..I am so happy that I am smiling like a chestshire cat....Don't worry though, I still have my feelings in check....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #63 on: July 22, 2007, 02:31:54 PM »
 :)   :)  :)

Very glad!

It's hard to judge in online relationships esp with all the wierdos out there, but gotta keep the faith!

I didn't go to A'dam, the frigging Dutch trains are not running properly, and would have taken about twise as long as a normally long trip.

I'm happy to hear.

ML pls check in with us I hope you had a great time last night. There's so much I want to say but know I will get into a typing frenzy. will just say this: you're a trooper, and you should never be embarassed of a physical condition. I'm glad you are hooking up with friends, seeing live music (been ages for me).

Big ol' hugs!
« Last Edit: July 22, 2007, 02:33:42 PM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #64 on: July 22, 2007, 02:56:12 PM »
Moon had a date last night? Dang, I miss everything..I saw her log off yahoo earlier, maybe she is resting up. I can't wait to hear about it too....You in Amsterdam, Dragonette, dang mail me some of that good green... ;D I know you can't but wow, just thinking about what they got over there gives me chills....Better yet send me a ticket...lmao...
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #65 on: July 22, 2007, 04:12:53 PM »
haha, no, I don't live in Amsterdam but there are coffee shops all over the Netherlands. But I don't smoke. I used to, but it was getting to me, even back then I found it was just too powerful here.

Not a date date, Moon met up with an old buddy and a few of his friends in a bar, I think it is written just above your own previous post. She had some concerns, I hope all went fine.

Can't send a ticket I'm afraid but you are welcome here anytime, where I live is not very exciting, but it's rural, peaceful, quiet and very green  ;)


"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #66 on: July 22, 2007, 10:16:20 PM »
What a drag, Drag, that the trains were fouled up---I know you were counting on seeing your pals. Hopefully, it can be rescheduled.

I, too, wanna know how Mr. Norway fared on his runway walk today and how he answered those important life goals questions.

Queen Green----that's what I'm gonna call you now. Or, to mix it up, Green Queen.

Zero happening here. Just work of every type. Time to go sleepy now.

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #67 on: July 23, 2007, 12:16:35 AM »
Hi Everyone,

I am alive and very well.  I have had the most wonderful 30 hrs I have had in a long time.  Too much to type now as I need a nice restful sleep, but I will certainly post tomorrow morning.  Got a new prospect Saturday night, he knows me from when I was 11 or 12 and I don't remember him, lol.  Mr. Norway is YUMMY, spent ALL day with him, very nice guy!  More soon!

Cindy

Yay for Booooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #68 on: July 23, 2007, 10:36:55 AM »
ML: We'll wait, maybe not patiently, but hey this should be a post with Harry Potter-like appeal!!

ALL: This thread has been such fun. I've been wanting to reply to some of the posts recently, but I've had a serious problem with my right hand/wrist/arm for the last two months.

The ability to feel in three fingers is just starting to come back, but only because I've been taking a break from scraping, painting, digging, cleaning and...typing.

Please know I'm typing in my head, if not in reality, and enjoying this as some would enjoy a novelette at the beach.

Em

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #69 on: July 23, 2007, 01:35:41 PM »
I've had a serious problem with my right hand/wrist/arm for the last two months.

The ability to feel in three fingers is just starting to come back, but only because I've been taking a break from scraping, painting, digging, cleaning and...typing.

that makes two of us, i'm having the exact same problem, still have to do some work on the computer though and rebel against it but it's killing me

I'm long overdue on a long breack so I will be watching from the sidelines too. Hope we both get well real soon
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #70 on: July 23, 2007, 06:30:00 PM »
Well, here I am, so I might as well post, but my neck is absolutely killing me!  I think we are all ailing from posting too much, lol!  I am bummed today because I am considering going on disability bec of neck and back probs and feeling like I'm on a boat ride, even while sitting still.  It sucks....but in the meantime, my weekend was a nice social one, quite a change for me.....

Met Pat from my old neighborhood, which I left in 1984 at age 14.  Pat knows Jay (who?  lol) and that's how I got in touch with Pat again.  I went to a club and there's Pat.  I met his GF and a few other people.  Then three guys arrived, the "tall brothers" and the quiet friend, lol.  Turns out the tall brothers lived in the same neighborhood as me and Pat, but I didn't hang out with them, hell I didn't even remember them, I think they moved there right as I was moving out.  Anyway, tall brother Mike is two years younger than me, married with kids, ok, so hands off there.  Tall brother Jeff is two years older, divorced, flirty and oh-so-yum-my!  I didn't know if he had a GF or not but we all struck up conversation.  Hell, I extended my hand to say hello, and asked "Do I know you?"  Older one Jeff said he remembered me, Pat was off somewhere getting beer and looking at other women, so I'm glad I had these guys to hang with.  I was almost the life of the party, talking to about five people, trying to include everyone and just being social.  It was good for me.  I told everyone that I didn't drink bec of diabetes and I shared my love of music with them, hopped and bopped, some dancing around.  The brothers each took pics of me with themselves on their cell phones to send to a friend in FL.  The FL friend used to live in our hood too and I was always kissing on him as a little girl, lol!  He is married now, but wants to come up here and see everyone.  I believe Pat gave him my email and number, so it will be nice to reconnect sometime.  Anyway, the tall brothers and I are dancing a little bit near the bar and Jeff, the cutie single one, goes and gets me something to drink, sweet that he has nice manners.  He said he'd never thought in a million years that he'd be dancing with Cindy 30 years down the road!  My neck was hurting so bad I thought I was going to tip over, we had mainly been standing around for a couple of hours at this point with a little bit of dancing.  Then I find out that Jeff likes to dance and we get his married brother to follow us onto the dance floor.  It is packed!  I have never been the happier "meat in the sandwich in my entire life."  LOL  These two were on either side of me and we were just dancing and bouncing off of each other. I was laughing and singing and even saw my old chiropractors (husband and wife) on the dance floor, they told me to take it easy, lol!  Jeff was dancing really close and I kept wondering if he had a GF or not.  After awhile I didn't give a shit and we danced and danced.  It was so hot I thought I was going to pass out, I started putting ice cubes...well you get the idea, lol!  I think that blew his mind.  I said I had to go to the restroom and cool off, he asked if I was OK, cause I had told him about the diabetes and not doing well with heat (but shit, I'll take any heat he wants to give ANYTIME ;))!  I thought that was sweet, evidently these two brothers were raised right, have a father who was military.  We find Pat a little later as he is ogling other young women when his GF wasn't around, lol.  He was so wasted I didn't get to talk to him, but the brothers were sweet and stayed with me.  At 2am everyone decided to go get a bite to eat, so I hoped in and got a ride with the brothers.  About ten of us were at the diner and I was so exhausted and dehydrated, I just kept drinking water.  Jeff was directly across from me, and in the bright lights he kept looking at me.  Damn damn damn!  The evening ended with the guys taking me back to my car and I gave each of them a polite peck from the backseat, saying it was nice to "meet them" or see them again after so many years, lol!  I figured it was now or never.  I asked how I could keep in touch with them, didn't have my cell on me.  Jeff gets his cell and saves my number saying we'll have to get together with Pat and his GF sometime, like a couples' date!  If the married brother wasn't there, I am almost sure I would've had a kiss goodnight!  What a yummy thought, but this girl can't live off of kisses alone......I almost can't stand the waiting for a phone call, lol!  I was trying to look Jeff up online cause he told me where he lived, but he's not listed, hell I don't even know if I am spelling his last name right because there are so many variations, but I tried searching them all.  I think Jeff thinks its pretty cool that we all went to the same grade schools and lived in the same hood, it has a cozy sentimentality to it, you know?  I may have to call Pat and ask for Jeff's number by mid-week.  Only thing is, my status, because it would get out in a circle of such close friends and maybe from Pat it would get to Jay, but that's putting the cart way before the horse.  It was so nice to be socializing and getting some friendly male attention, and I LOVES me a TALL man!  I also mentioned to Pat's GF that I knew Jay.  She looked surprised, Pat hadn't mentioned to her that I knew Jay, who she works with.  She said "He's a really nice guy" and I replied, "Yes, I know, he's absolutely killing me" and I bit my finger in a hubba-hubba gesture.  She looked puzzled and then she got it.  I am hoping she mentions something to him.  She is very young, as Pat is robbing the cradle, so she was jumping around the bar all night, drinking beer, so she and I didn't get to talk much, but still.....you never know what will get back to Jay.

I will write about the other end of the spectrum, Mr. Hot Short (5'8") Norwegian guy later tonight.  I actually feel better, "writing in my diary" here.  I was so bummed all day thinking about disability, and still feeling very alone, despite my fun-filled weekend.  Cheech and I are going to go walk through the park, and tonight I'll post the rest.

Waiting for the Harry Potter novel, comparing this to that?  Well, I'm flattered, I'm glad we all have such an interest in each other!  It makes us so much stronger!

And I must add, I am SO DAMN HAPPY FOR QUEEN GREEN!!!!!  Boo is in da house!   I know you're a happy camper, GF, I can feel your vibe all the way over here!

Em and Drag, rest those arms girls! 
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #71 on: July 23, 2007, 07:59:17 PM »
Yep, Boo is definitely in the house!!!! He imed me yesterday after going 5 days w/o hearing a word. The reason for this is because he was in the hospital. Which made me feel bad after the hysterics I had put myself through. Of course I had to share the good news with Moonlight. The reason he was in the hospital was due to his meds. I can't remember what he's on but I know it is a string of them. It caused him to get majorly bloated, fever, pain in joints, and a hard time breathing. When he checked his IMs, he saw the slew of messages I had sent and proceeded to scold me for thinking the way I did. I enjoyed every bit of it... :D..Even though he was not feeling a 100 percent, we still talked for hours. I tried to get him to go lay down but he wouldn't hear of it because that meant not talking to me... ;D We did discuss plans of getting together in September with me traveling to go see him. So, I did some research for making travel plans..I guess the high price in fuel has even affected the prices for traveling...Cheapest choice is the hound, which I will have to purchase tix 2 weeks in advance but the trip itself is going to be 15 hours.. :-[ Moon suggested I get an ipod but I don't think I can afford that so I may end up taking my laptop so I can listen to music on that and watch movies. Since I will have 2 delays, I can plug in somewhere to charge my battery. But will go to Wal Mart website to see just how much an ipod costs. I haven't heard from Boo today which has me a bit worried due to the fact that he just got home from hospital, so I am wondering if he over did it by talking to me for as long as he did... ??? I imed him with my concerns and am praying he is ok.....

Now Em has tagged me with the handle Queen Green or Green Queen. I like the latter, so I will have to include that along with my alias of Queen Tokelove. Which Lady Ann (moderator) has given me. Yes, I know I have green on the brain but I am one of those people who function quite well under the influence and at times tend to get really brainy. Not to say when I am sober, for lack of better word, that I am an idiot but the green really helps me more than you know. At the moment, I am quite sober and not bouncing off the walls but has next to no appetite.... :(  I do take breaks from toking at times. The times are rare but they do happen... ;D

Remember the 2 pot of Mums I started right? Well, the 2nd pot finally got 2 sprouts going and I am so proud. There wasn't much sunlight today so I have them under some light for now. I also got some Miracle Gro from a friend today so I am going to try that on them next time they are due to get watered. Grow my babies, grow!!!

Em&Drag....I hope you ladies hands get better soon, we need and appreciate your input. But in the meantime here is a supply of gummies....Knock yourselves out... ;D
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #72 on: July 24, 2007, 03:27:36 AM »
My late husband Dave would have been 39 today.  He died at age 28, in August '96.  Mixed emotions, but I still always wonder how it could have been without this virus in our lives.  He was pretty damn cool, though!  Just young and scared, I can't blame him for that....  That's his guitar I'm holding in my pic.......Rest in peace, sweetie.   :-*  Shit, he's probably jammin' with Jimi Hendrix or someone like that right about now, lol!
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #73 on: July 24, 2007, 04:01:04 AM »
well well...

I am glad you had a great time Moon & still waiting for part 2.
I can see - I mean you don't have to explain to ME of all people - how you can be out having as great time and still be lonely. The HIV is still a secret. Ultimately not to be shared with a group of guys, as nice as they might be, but with a special, trustworthy one. But you are getting there...

QG it sounds like Boo more than made up for disappearing... I'm really thrilled for you. Can't he come over? 15 hours is a long time to spend sitting on a bus. Me after 5 hours my ankles are alrwady bloated like an elephant's. Are there no bargin flights in the States at all?

Good luck with it!!! I have fingers crossed from here!
PS
EM, Moon, computer use is one of the worst things for neck, arms, etc...

"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #74 on: July 24, 2007, 10:42:34 AM »
GQ, I agree with Drag, can Boo come your way? OR, could each of you meet at halfway point? Southwest has some super cheap flights, but I'm not sure of your destination city---not asking either. Go to cheapflights.com just to assess the available flights. Then, go to the airline and oft times, you'll find the flight is slightly cheaper directly from them

ML, now I understand the guitar in the avatar! Glad you have good memories of Dave. I'm sure it's still a tender day every year.

Drag, when I think to use it, ibuprofen is helping me to regain use of right hand, etc. and... backing off from repetitive motion, using tape, various heat creams.  It's a plain case of overuse that started in April and mushroomed into something much worse. I hope we both reclaim our former abilities---pronto.

ALL, climbing down from the balcony for a moment I'm happy to report I was actually asked out yesterday evening. Yup...asked out. What a pleasant surprise. It won't happen for several weeks due to his travel schedule. Best part is he's someone I'd hoped would ask!! So, when the date happens, I'll dutifully report in.

Em

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #75 on: July 24, 2007, 10:45:39 AM »
Oh great!! GQ put her face back in the space!! You are so pretty...glad to see you recycle your avatar art works.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #76 on: July 24, 2007, 02:01:23 PM »
Where I put my face? For some reason I tried to load my pic but this freaking site won't allow it. I don't know why cause Moonlight says all my pics are small. I'm still seeing my toon avatar....As far as Boo, I think it would be better for me to go to him considering how his health has been. I am a bit worried cause I haven't heard from him again. I am trying not to think the worse but what if he is ill again? And no one is there with him...I know, I need to chill. I think I did go to cheapflights.com and they were comparing prices from other places like Expedia, Priceline, etc and they all seem to be w/i 4-6 hundred range but I will look again..Boo did talk about coming back with me but I don't know how serious he is or if he was joking. My place really isn't up for company, it still looks like I just moved in and I have been here for almost 2 yrs now.


To my surprise, T, the American Indian had asked permission to join my yahoo bud list. I was wondering what happened to him because I hadn't heard from him. I thought it was because I said I was hearing impaired, sometimes that drives guys away but I guess that was not the case. I accepted of course, now I have to wait for his permission. I'll keep you updated on how it goes..

Moon, surely Dave is playing with the best of them. Who knows, 2pac is prolly doing a rap while Dave is playing a mean guitar riff... ;D And Em, I can't wait for your date and hear all the juicy details...I feel bad for you ladies and your hands. I have a gf who is a mechanic and she has been complaining about how doing little things has been making her hands hurt like hell. It would seem like there would be something to help with that other than IB....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #77 on: July 24, 2007, 03:43:03 PM »
Hello GFs,

Oh my aching neck and back......and my chair doesn't have a backrest on it, go figure.  I guess I should post part 2 before I forget how much fun it was, lol!  I met Mr. Hot Short Norwegian guy (HSN for short, lol) Sunday afternoon.  Ours plans were to go to a Civil War museum in Frederick and look around.  We were in there talking some and pointing out things, and I thought oh boy this is going to be a "friends" thing cause he's not diggin me.  We spent about 2 hrs in the museum, lots of quiet conversation, the lights were low, so I looked good, lol.  I was dressed like a lifeguard cause I was so tired from slammin in the pit the night before and not getting to bed until 4am!  I had on a t-shirt, baggy shorts and flip-flops and I didn't care.  My lipo has made my waist go to shit so I wanted to hide it some, lol, and not wear anything clingy.  I figured it was an experiment, see if the guy liked me without dressing to the nines!  We left the museum and walked a few blocks through downtown Frederick to a restaurant.  Sat right in the front window looking out at the street.  Mr. HSN and I never lacked for conversation, so many things to talk about and it was all so laid back, but I couldn't tell if he was diggin me that much yet, lol.  He ordered a beer sampler at this brew pub and we had burgers.  He said I should try the beer, too, and I took a few little sips.  I hate beer, have only had one to myself in my entire life, lol.  So, during dinner I mention to HSN that the city park was a few blocks over and that they have bands play every Sunday, would he like to go check it out at 7pm?  I really thought he would say he had to get home, but he said it sounded great.  ;D   We walked over towards the park and he had chugged his last beer, so I took his hand like a mommy at a busy intersection, lol!  He didn't seem to mind, and we strolled through the park as the band got started in the bandshell.  We must have walked a half mile, it was about 730pm, and he said let's head back towards the band and sit somewhere.  There were hundreds of people in this park, dogs everywhere, everyone just hanging out having a relaxed evening.  Those of you on the east coast know how nice the weather was in MD on Sunday.  The heat went away, no humidity, no breeze, just still and perfect that evening.  We found a tree to lay under and kept on talking and talking.  He went to kiss me and I am not one for PDAs but I figured what the hell, there are enough people in this park, I'm sure they are finding other things to look at besides us two necking under the tree, laying in the grass, lol.  He was a very sweet man, but I wonder about the effects of alcohol, lol.  I don't drink, so what do they say?  Do your true feelings come out when you're a little tipsy and relaxed, or is that when everyone looks good?  LOL  The sun was going down and the band finished at 9pm, it was twilight and people were going home.  We stayed there under the tree, and he was telling me stories and making me laugh so hard, I thought I was gonna pee myself!  He kept trying to get me to snort while I laughed, so I was holding my nose and trying not to.  Everything was fun and lighthearted and then the man really surprised me.  He told me to lay on my back and he sat behind me and held my head in his hands.  He started playing with my hair, omg.  Ask Queen, I told her, his hands are as big as my head, huge hands!  I have a very sore neck and back, and HSN's brother-in-law is a chiropractor, so he knows a few moves, lol.  He massasged my neck and head and even my face for about a half hour, very sensual.  It was dark by now, after 9pm, and he didn't say anything about wanting to leave.  I think we were both glad to have company.  We just kept talking and bouncing ideas and stories off of each other.  He wanted to go get another beer at 10pm downtown, but I told him I was tired and could we skip it?  He seemed OK with that and we walked through an empty park, with an historic bell tower all lit up in the night, kissing on the walks in the flowers as we made our way back to the street.  Very romantic, just my kind of scene.  We got to the deserted streets and walked hand in hand to the parking garage, and then I drove us about 10 minutes, back to where his car was.  We ended up going into McDs and getting sundaes.  He asked about my husband and I gave him a lot of details, including the last few days of his life, but all without saying it was from AIDS.  I almost DID disclose, the moment ALMOST felt right because it was such a serious conversation, and he was intrigured by my story of Dave and our past.  We must have sat there for an hour or so.  At about 1130pm we said goodnight, and at that point he kind of hurried things along, big time.  It hit me as strange, but I figured what the hell, maybe he just got tired, and he DID have an hour drive home.  So off he went, and I IMed him Monday saying I had a nice time spending all day with him.  He replied that he enjoyed it too (kinda generic reply), but then typed that he hoped to see me again and "winked."  He was going to go meet his brother and his bro's wife to go camping last night, so he was rushing off to do that.  HSN did ask my opinion over dinner, about a girl he had dated, a "trust fund baby" as he called her.  She sounded very shallow, couldn't hold a job, has millions to her name.  I explained that people who have a lot handed to them like that, usu don't have to do or learn much on their own.  Therefore, you end up with an idiot, whining, spoiled shit, which is what this girl sounds like.  She is 28 and he is 39.  I told him she just wants to get control over him cause she's used to getting what she wants and having things her way.  He really appreciated my opinion (prob cause I was RIGHT, lol).  She keeps leaving him and coming back, I told him thats her way of maintaining control, and he should stop being so nice to the whining brat.  LOL  "Yay me!"  So, all in all, it was a nice date, but I went home feeling lonely.  I hate that.  Yesterday was tough, but I'll be OK.  I have my ups and downs.  I think I need to get laid.  LOL  Shit, I need a monogamous man to call my own before I do that, lol!

Em, I am so glad to hear about your upcoming date!  Did you meet him in the Personals or in the produce dept?  What's he like?  GQ  (lol "GQ"!)  I was so worried about a guy who was sick with heart problems once that I started checking the obits and even called the hospital.  If your mind can't rest just call Boo and put him on speaker for a minute.  Have you heard from him yet?  The ups and downs must be killing you!

So, thats my latest 'conquest" ladies, wish me luck......lol!

Cindy

HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #78 on: July 24, 2007, 03:53:02 PM »
You're all of you doing so great and being so brave... yes there is no way but to be out there and enjoy. And take the time to get to know "them". I had a few guys in my sights before my BF and while I was first dating him, I remeber I used to talk to a very kind guy in your area Moon and he would be like, "c''mon you are surrounded by guys", but it wasn't like that at all, because none of them knew what I was going through, and even my BF, I told him, but there is disclosing and there is disclosing. first, he was just a friend for ages, second, you can disclose empahsizing the normalcy of your life (which of course is immensly normal compared to what people imagine of HIV) or the hardships, which, at least in my case, is something that took a while to reveal.

Anyhoo I know what you chicks are doing (you too Em) is just the hardest. But also the bravest. No matter the outcome, you really, really rock.
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline camille07

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #79 on: July 25, 2007, 07:57:14 PM »
Hey Girls-

Haven't been around lately.  Queenie talking to you the night was great.  I hope I can pull off the great Northeast dating arrangement for Poz peeps.

I have to agree with dragonette, you guys are all so brave. 

I have my first date tomorrow.  It's with a poz guy from positive singles.  He lives relatively close to me and works in the same area.   We've exchanged emails but haven't even talked on the phone.  I'm certainly taking the plunge.    It's real low key, right after work a couple of drinks.  Nothing fancy.  It's nerve racking.  I haven't been on a date in 15 years!  I was with my ex husband for 11 years, and the ltr for almost 2.    I went on a blind date when I was about 24 and it was the most horrible experience.  I've had some real winners.  When I was 25 I when on a date with a astronomer from Princeton.  He was so freaky that I  kept having tunnel vision at dinner.  Looking back, nothing could be as bad as those two....I hope.  Wish me luck.

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #80 on: July 25, 2007, 10:36:14 PM »
When I was 25 I when on a date with a astronomer from Princeton.  He was so freaky that I  kept having tunnel vision at dinner. 

Camille! I'm LMAO at this date description. I can just see his talking head at the end of a telescope looking like a cratered moon and, and, and...well,back to present day...good luck on your poz-on-poz date. That's bravery on your part, too. You've not heard his voice---hmmm, just to scare you like an older sister would, I'll ask -- Well, gee whiz, Camille, what if he sounds Bart Simpson? Can you keep your composure? Or, will you jump on the table and say Aye Carumba!!!! Awaiting your post-post.

ML, Holy cow. Massaged your head? My hairdresser does that, but she's so not a man...great details!, so glad you've had a ton of fun recently. RE: your question. We met in the equivalent of the produce section...we met in a bakery and had a couple of conversations on different days. And, there's not much to tell because there's been no opportunity to have a full-length conversation. Suffice to say, it should be interesting to have a real date--it's been years.

Drag--I think going with the normalcy is the best approach -- crumps, for most folks looking in, just the having it (HIV) alone is the hardship. I look to all of you and say I hope I handle things as well should the waters get choppier.

Well, Queen, looks like you be jetting off one day soon. I'm assuming you're pricing by fare and also by schedule to see what gets you there the cheapest. Like you, I tried to load my pic a number of times, it won't load. So, I picked that tribal mask which looked like Wilson (the painted volleyball in that Tom Hanks, marooned FedEx/UPS guy--name escapes me) and then decided to go with Ms. Jolie. Is that NOT your face in the avatar block?

Night night. Wrist rest.

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #81 on: July 25, 2007, 11:01:26 PM »
That's Queens pretty lil face, she just can't get it to show in the Personals here!

Camille!!!!  No phone call?  OMG more power to you!  A guy emailed me today and I didn't even know who the hell he was.  We emailed weeks ago thru Match and I haven't been on there anymore, so I am like WHO the heck is this? After I figured out who he was I emailed back and said I was surprised that he asked me out.  I don't just go out to meet anyone.  I am a little detective, I like to get a sense of their character thru IMing and then move to a phone call.  A phone call can blow it (i.e. Gumby last week and previous leg-humpers)!  I was just Iming with a young guy in the Navy and he proceeded to say if I was unemployed I could be his sex toy and then have a job, lol.  I typed "Back off young stuff."  This guy has been tracking me all year on all websites and I finally gave in cause I thought he just wanted to talk to someone, I felt sorry for him.  He comes back and types an apology and I typed "too late."  I love that Ignore button that yahoo has.  I have ditched about three guys in the past week on IMs because they move way too fast to the T&A subject.  A little willpower would be nice on their part, gheez.  So, you never know what you're gonna get!  Be careful since you don't know a damn thing about this guy.  Did he have a pic posted?  Not to scare you, but you are one brave girl!  Damn!

Well goodness everyone is getting busy with new dates!  That's good!  My friend Pat said he would certainly give my ph# to the "tall brother Jeff" from my old neighborhood.  I told Pat that he had my number and to use it ALREADY dammit.  Got that ball rolling, lol!  Drove past Jay's work today and saw his car out front.  made me sad, I miss him a lot.

Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline camille07

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #82 on: July 26, 2007, 08:29:59 AM »
I have done some research on him just because I'm concerned.  Had my brother run a check on him, my brother's  a trooper.  I don't care about the small stuff I just wanted to make sure he wasn't a sex offender or anything in that realm of creep.    He also works for the government which have serious background checks.  Don't get me wrong, he could still be a total nut job or perv ....I'll just have to grab my purse and boogle out of there.

Offline camille07

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #83 on: July 26, 2007, 09:01:02 PM »
My date, wow, I was really nervous.  I was with co workers talking about how stressful a blind can be.   I had pics from the site but still, a snapshot in time doesn't tell much. 
I got there on time and it was a cheesy sports bar.  I ordered a pint and sat by the window...for what seemed like an hour.  Finally, a sporty car pulls in out wallks my impression, the one I've seen only in the pics.  He doesn't sit across from me but right next to me. He's good looking, great blue eyes, but starts talking.  I'm thinking "oh boy he's talking too much in a nervous way", but I felt like that too. 
Long story short we had a couple of beers and it was fun.  He was a smart and nice guy....wow.  So I'm not sure what he thinks of me but I definitely would like another date.   Stay tuned.....

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #84 on: July 26, 2007, 10:00:13 PM »
I finally see my pic posted!!!! That is me, your Queen in all her buzzed glory.. ;D There's nothing to report on the dating side which is why I wasn't posting anything. But I will not lie, I have been caught up in my game too. Today I just hung with my one gf, helped her do laundry and then we watched Hairspray. I need to do my own damn laundry.. ;D
 
I am glad to see that you ladies are starting to branch out, be bold and go out on dates. See what you started Moonlight? Good work my trusty sidekick.. :D.. Camille, I am thrilled that your date went well. Will there be another? Not sure if I saw that in your post, I am a bit buzzed at the moment. Who else said they got a date coming up? Wasn't it Em? For the moment, it seems like I'm getting comfy sitting up front, I still leave the nosebleed seats to Em. I may not be saying much but I will be watching.....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #85 on: July 26, 2007, 11:09:06 PM »
Yep, got one coming up. And wasn't Camille's deal nice to read about? Go Camille! Jeepers Creepers, where'd ya get them Reefers - GQ is sounding perfectly mellow about everythang. Me, I'm crashing--time for bed soon.

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #86 on: July 26, 2007, 11:43:29 PM »
Hiya GFs,

Yaaaaaaaaay Camille!  Sounds like your date went well!  I can't meet a poz guy to save my life, but I will keep trying.  Guess what?  Mr. HSN (hot short Norwegian massage god) called today while I was in massage therapy, of all places.  His ears must have been burning cause I was telling my female massage therapist what luck I had with him working on my neck last Sunday!   ;)  I called him back tonight and got voice mail, sounds like he was on the other line, but its good he called me initially. 

Just got off the phone with a neggie who lives in a good zip code (lol), about 15 minutes from me.  We are planning on meeting tomorrow night for appetizers or something.  He wants to check out a band, so we'll see.  This is the one who emailed from match and I didn't know who the heck he was at first.  He works for in IT and is a really nice guy on the phone, good sense of humor.  As long as he isn't a goober in person, we're OK. LOL  He was raised in the same county as me, is a "native" to this area, so that has a nice coziness to it.  We talked and talked, and as usual, I end up making the guy feel good about himself, hitting the nail on the head as far as his separation goes.  I should go back to school and get a Masters in Social Work.  Then I could get paid for counseling, lol!   I'll post if anything comes up!  Now we just need to see how Em's Bakery Guy is on a date, but hey, you've already met in person.  Wow, to be able to strike up conversation in public.  My problem is I never get out enough, lol!

Sleep well, GFs!

Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #87 on: July 27, 2007, 03:15:57 AM »
Hmm, maybe I spoke too soon. I checked my email and got 3 messages from Poz Personal and one from another. Then I get to talk to 2 of them on messenger, looks like business might be picking up... ;D I'll mention the ones you guys are familiar with first then go on to the others. I finally heard from Balmer. We chatted but I didn't really feel a vibe from the conversation. I might give him another chance because he had just gotten back from being out of town so maybe it was fatigue. Then while doing my laundry I get a message from T, the American Indian, which was a pleasant surprise. In between my laundry we talked. Goddess, you should see his pic, he is fine. He can hold a decent conversation and he's funny. But I'm also getting the vibe that he is looking more for sex than a relationship and I'm looking for the opposite, a meaningful relationship including sex. I've done the just fuck buddy thing as well as be the outside woman. I want more, I want exclusiveness. But if anything else he would make a good friend even if just over the internet....Ok, on to the newbies.... :D

I got a response from another Indian. If this keeps up, I can start my own tribe...The Smoke-a-Hos.... ;D This one I think may be a humper. He sends me an email and at the end, he says he loves me...Hello, first email and already saying the L word. All kinds of alarms and red alerts went off. Another thing was his grammar. His whole email was a complete run on sentence with no periods at all. And he must have had his spell check off. You can imagine what that was doing to my eyes. I felt like pulling out a red marker and making corrections then put a big fat red F on the paper. Once glancing at his profile, it mentions he is in the military, I hope he never has to do any paperwork.

Then the last one....We'll call him Semmi. He emailed me first. It was a nice email so I go to check out his profile and what do I see? Nothing or as it is mentioned in the personals, the option of "I will tell you later". On just about every question in the profiles. I politely email him back and explain to him that with what his profile is saying which is nothing makes me feel like he has something to hide. Yes, I did cause I don't have time to play games. At least not the emotional kind. I get a reply back that he has nothing to hide and if I have any questions just ask...I am like WTF? The purpose of a profile is so it can shed a little light on a person, hello? And if after reading it if I have any questions then ask. SO, this will be the last you will hear about Semmi. His ass is kicked to the curb and I mean with steel toed boots...

There ya go, something happened after all..Moon, you are liking his hands waaaay too much...lmao.... ;D

(who still misses Boo)
« Last Edit: July 27, 2007, 03:20:02 AM by Queen Akasha »
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #88 on: July 27, 2007, 08:30:12 AM »
The Smoke-A-Hos ---for the love of all things Native American, I am laughing, really laughing my lady's loin cloth off --- what a great way to start to emerge from the teepee today!! Bizniss pickin' up, kickin' someone's ass to the curb, dang you are a busy woman. Taking this good humor to the chore list. Read all of you later!!!

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #89 on: July 27, 2007, 08:33:09 AM »
BTW --- CJC/Cristy --- are you continuing to feel better?

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #90 on: July 27, 2007, 01:32:45 PM »
The Smoke-A-Hos ---for the love of all things Native American, I am laughing, really laughing my lady's loin cloth off --- what a great way to start to emerge from the teepee today!! Bizniss pickin' up, kickin' someone's ass to the curb, dang you are a busy woman. Taking this good humor to the chore list. Read all of you later!!!

 ;D  I try to make people smile in my own way, that's why people tell me I'm crazy..Indians smoked peyote or whatever..To me they were the creators of the wake and bake..I have to have something to entertain me but Semmi was just a bit much. I haven't checked my messages yet in the personals, there may be more to come. ;)
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #91 on: July 27, 2007, 03:45:59 PM »
Hi GFs,

Queen you are crazy GF!  I would definitely ignore the "I will tell you later" guy.  I read profiles like that, laugh, and promptly click delete.  I am going to meet Mr. Good Zip Code tonight, he may be a little corny, but I'll try to keep him settled down in public, so as not to draw attention.  LOL  Mr. Hands/aka Mr. Hot Short Norwegian didn't call back yest.  Ball is in his court, he knows where to find a real woman, lol!

I had a phone interview for a job in town here.  It went very very well, lasted 50 minutes.  I am hopeful about getting a face-to-face interview next week!

I got an interesting email today from an editor at Poz.com.  They want me to be the "Catch of the MONTH" in an upcoming issue.  I feel like I'm "coming out" but its too late, already replied and sent a pic with some info about myself.  I am hoping that all of the DC guys under rocks will come out, too!  Goodness, anyone can read this and see me, but I am telling myself that it will mainly be other people like me.  Hell, I don't talk to anyone locally anyway, so I think I can still maintain some privacy.  Shit, I dunno.  I felt like I had to do this, that it would be good for me.  Time to shake the stigma, right?  I hope I can be an inspiration to others who are newly diagnosed and read about me. 

Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #92 on: July 27, 2007, 04:53:21 PM »
Hi Cind
They already put your pic in a catch of the day, I saw it earlier today.
Just do what you're comfortable with. If you are not sure, I would take a raincheck. you can always do it sometime later.
Nothing special here, saw some nice friends in A'dam, reading a great book, "Talk talk" by T.C Boyle, really gripping. And thinking...

I am always keeping up with you chikas online, though I don't always know what to say.

Lots of love to everyone,
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline camille07

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #93 on: July 27, 2007, 08:28:39 PM »
Hey Cindy-

That's great, catch of the month.  At least you should feel flattered.  The magazine is in my ID doctor's  office so I'm sure to check it out. 
I know nothing about match.com so when you create a profile do you include details about being poz?  Have you been very successful with it?  Keep us posted about the date tonight.


Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #94 on: July 27, 2007, 09:32:56 PM »

Just do what you're comfortable with. If you are not sure, I would take a raincheck. you can always do it sometime later.
Nothing special here, saw some nice friends in A'dam, reading a great book, "Talk talk" by T.C Boyle, really gripping. And thinking...

I am always keeping up with you chikas online, though I don't always know what to say.

Lots of love to everyone,


Lucky you. I'd like to be in Amsterdam and I mean it!!! I'm reading "Too Soon Old Too Late Smart" (real title) Gordon Livingston, MD. Nifty little reality nudge book. Quick read.

ML - I'm with Drag -- if you're not 100% comfy, raincheck it. Mr. Good Zipcode -- excellent name.

Wrist wrecked.
Ciao
Em

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #95 on: July 28, 2007, 01:58:48 AM »
Hi GFs,

Just to clarify, I have been Catch of the DAY online here for a couple of weeks.  An editor wants me to be Catch of the MONTH in the actual published magazine.  So, a big difference!  I am kind of looking forward to the "shock factor" that I feel some people will get when they see me there.  I sure have gotten the "shock factor" thing when I disclose to neggies.  They can't believe I am poz.  I guess they expect us to be wretched looking, hair falling out, teeth missing, open wounds....you know what I mean, "full of cooties."  I am proud to show my face as "the girl next door" who has this virus.  They also post how LONG you've been living with the virus.  The current issue has an Asian guy in the spotlight who has been poz since 2004 I believe.  Some of us have been dealing with this for awhile, myself since late '93, so I think that will speak volumes to people perusing through the magazine.  I am hoping it will help to shake the stigma that much of the damn world places on us!  We are all beautiful, our minds are strong, hell we are just like anyone else, except for this damn stigma that society has placed upon us.  OK, getting fired up and pissed off, on to new topic, lol............

Mr. Good Zip Code was a pleasant surprise tonight.  At the last minute he decided that we should try a nice dinner at an historic inn which is HAUNTED.   :o  A "medium" ghost tour lady led the entire thing and showed us pictures which were taken with faces in the trees and pics.  She has been to some of the most haunted places in Maryland, in broad daylight, and the spirits are there.  I didn't quite "get this" until after our walk through the grounds, down to a cemetery in the woods!  We were going down to the woods through an open field and there is this overturned beat-up car with brush and tall grass growing all around it.  The guide explained that "John" died in the backseat of this car and his spirit didn't pass over to the other side for many years, until recently.  Here I am with my camera, the sun is still out at 8pm, and everyone is taking pics, hoping to feel something.  None of us felt shit.  Then I look down at the pic I just took and there is a figure sitting in the grass in front of the car.  My arm hairs all stood on end, even though it was 75 degrees out.  I showed the pic to Mr. Good Zip Code and a few ladies nearby.  They saw it too.  I freaked a little and went down to the woods with the group, where soldiers were buried from the Civil War.  Some people got some strange shit showing up in their photos.  Faces in the trees, maybe its all the power of suggestion, but it was very interesting.  We blew up my pic of "John" later on a movie screen and added some light to it.  Nothing there.  But another pic showed a very angry looking somebody ("John"?) coming out of the wrecked car.  The medium said this was the first time she had seen that.  I have always been intrigued by the occult, but have taken it with a grain of salt.  She is going to email the edited zoomed in version of my pic to me.  It was wild, and I was raised Catholic, goodness!  So, a very entertaining evening.  My date and I walked upstairs in the Inn a little later with a few other people, and then we noticed they had gone to the attic.  We were alone in a hall which used to be a mental ward.  Freaked me out, I gripped my dates' hand so hard, he said he felt my pulse beating, there were only a few lights on and it spooked the shit outta me.  Pretty neat experience......

So, nice date, no sucking face, but as I told GQ, I think he was being a gentleman and perhaps he was a little shy.  That's OK, if he doesn't call, I will certainly call HIM. 

Em~~~When do you have your date with the Bakery Man?
Camille~~~Did your date follow-up to say "hello" yet?

Ladies, FULL MOON is Monday, hell it looks just about full NOW.  Its time to get out and groove some!  Bow-wowwwwwwwwwwwwww, lol!

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #96 on: July 28, 2007, 07:54:35 AM »
BTW --- CJC/Cristy --- are you continuing to feel better?
                                                                                    Sorry em, I didn't see this until today. Yes , I am feeling much better. i strained myself last sunday by vacuming but am okay now.                 I am awaiting next weel when hope fully I can go back to work.         I will read the rest and edit this as is appropriate.   Cristy                      Em, Sorry I am way behind with my posting. YOU HAVE A DATE. Yah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am very happy for you, especially since it's someone you have an interest in.   And Camille , also, glad your date went well.   Moonlight, Glad your date went well. I forgot to tell you , when you asked where we are from, that I am near Greensboro, North Carolina .   So the full moon is Monday, that must be why I am restless.  Anyway, no dates but I  won't give up.   Queen Green, Be careful flying to meet Boo. I think he should try to meet you halfway or something. I know, you are a smart lady but one can never be too careful..   Good luck to us all.  Cristy
« Last Edit: July 28, 2007, 08:44:57 AM by cjc »

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #97 on: July 28, 2007, 01:38:40 PM »
Hi GFs,

I forgot to answer Camille's question about Match.com and disclosing in a profile.  Years ago, I did actually put my status in my profile, and got some emails from people encouraging me.  Some asked questions about HIV as well, and I was happy to "educate."  I was a little activist in 2002 or so when I was dating.  I went on a lot of dates and disclosed to everyone if I felt a connection.  Most ran, but I had the opportunity to educate them, I kinda felt like it was my calling to make people around me safer.  I was OK with that.  Now if I hear someone doesn't know much about HIV, I kinda feel bewildered, because hey, its 2007, people should be aware!  No offense, but I guess the lack of knowledge still comes from the stigma and not much public "talk" at all about HIV.  Ten years ago I told my GYN that there would be a ton of new cases in the early 20-somethings crowd around 2006 or 2007, a result, I believed, of teenagers not practicing safe sex in the late 90s.  I think I'm close to being right, not sure though.  So, back to Match.com,  I took that disclosure line out of my profile info back in 2002, not present day, and haven't posted it again since.  I was on Match for 6 months this year, just cancelled my membership, it can get pretty expensive, esp when you're unemployed.  I have met a lot of nice guys but there are a ton to weed through and reply "no" to.  Its work on those dating sites, and it can get discouraging as we all know too well.  I feel you have to be proactive on any site in order to meet quality people. 

As I was typing this I got an email from my date last night, Mr. Good Zip Code.  I think he's pretty happy with how things went, but we were totally distracted by being "spooked" on the ghost tour and didn't have much time to chat with each other.  Well, maybe a little at dinner.  He has six siblings, and is the fifth, goodness!  Imagine Christmas, lol!  Sounds like fun!  He wrote in his email today, "From my point of view, I am comfortable in saying I know we could become great friends and that's an excellent start. Hope again, you feel the same."  Shit, at least he can spell, lol!  I thought I was getting the "friends" line until I read the last part there, so I think its good!

Mr. Hot Short Norwegian is feeling the effects of the impending full moon and just IMed me, said I had some kind of power over him from our date last weekend (LOL).  I told him to calm his ass down, it was prob the moon.  He said I could certainly look forward to another neck massage, yay!  Queen, he said "You know what they say about guys with big hands."  LMAO!  I played dumb and said I thought it was feet or earlobes?   ;D  This is a guy where I can see things moving a little quickly and me disclosing soon.  I wonder how he'll take that.  He lives an hour away, so even though I hate to say it, dates won't be every damn week and that may "slow" things down some.  I just hate that impending doom feeling when it comes to disclosure.  I wonder if I can get a dozen copies of Poz mag when I'm in it and just break the ice with that?  LOL  They might shit themselves!

Christy~~~  Glad to see you posting some, and you're not too too far down the road from me!  I am outside of DC.  I agree with you, Boo should come see GQ, or meet halfway.  Queen have you heard anything from him?  We need to get a PI Posse on his ass already!

More soon!  Damn, it might be a Netflix night tonight  :(

~~Cindy

P.S. - Poz Personals member "noheem" in Nigeria wants to be my dream man, lol.  Good-looking black man, 31 yo, think I should go for it?  LOL I wrote back to him saying he was in the wrong zip code and then blocked his ass!  How STUPID do these people think we are?  They don't know the power of the sisters here, lol!

« Last Edit: July 28, 2007, 02:15:07 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #98 on: July 28, 2007, 09:16:28 PM »
Edited to protect privacy
« Last Edit: July 29, 2007, 08:25:37 AM by cjc »

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #99 on: July 29, 2007, 12:42:15 AM »
Geez, it must be the freaking damn full moon. One of the new ones is really acting like a HUMPER. I believe I mentioned him in an earlier post but I forget what name I gave him. The one who mentioned love in his first email to me. I say hello to him tonight and now he is claiming love at first site....WTF? I tell him I hope he finds what he is looking for and for him to say the things he is makes me feel creepy. He still goes on for a few til I just tell him that I am not interested. He must've had an older version of yahoo cause I couldn't find the ignore button..I think he finally got the hint when I said BYE!!!!!

I am seriously considering snatching my pic off of my profile. True, it has given me more hits than not having one but damn, why do I have to get the crazies? I really haven't been doing much these days. I have mainly been visiting friends just to get out of the house. When I am home, I am usually online. For those who have  been IMing me still continue even if you see me as offline. With this latest one, I think I will be under the cloak of invisibility, it's much safer... ;D

As far as Wes goes with his post, maybe he meant to PM? But it makes it seem like Moon was trying to hook him up with someone? I dunno...Moon, I think MR. Hot Short has some plans with those hands girlie...Look out, he might palm your ass... :D

I still haven't heard from Boo and am quite worried. I hope he isn't dead or anything like that..It be my luck to feel a connection to someone and they drop dead.... :(  :'( If he does show back up, I will have to tell them that the trip will have to be cancelled unless he plans to come see me because I plan on moving in September.
I know all of your heads are spinning like, SAY WHAT?

Yes, Ladies....I have decided to move...Really I need to, this place I am in now isn't big enough for me and my son. At the same time a friend of mine needs to move out of her house...Long story but it would be beneficial to us both if we found a house together. Neither one of us can pull it off living alone. Don't you just love disability, not even enough to survive on..I think I may have found a house next door to another friend. It has 4 bedrooms so enough room for all of us, now we just have to worry about furnishing it. The landlord also owns my friend's house next door, so she is going to talk to him for me. He knows me because I use to live with my friend, so he has seen me before. I am waiting to hear back from him before I put in my 30 days where I am now. But better to be moved before the snow hits.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #100 on: July 29, 2007, 12:56:36 AM »
Hi GFs,

Poor Wes doesn't know what he's doing!  LOL  I have emailed him with directions on how to PM someone and I have alerted the moderators as well!  Goodness, sorry he posted here, was trying to hook him up with a friend that lives close by to him, lol!

~~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline anniebc

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #101 on: July 29, 2007, 01:43:48 AM »
Hi Ladies

I deleted the post that Wes posted...he is probably feeling a little bit sheepish right now.... :D.

I have never posted in your thread, I haven't dated for 42 years... ;)..but I have been reading your posts with interest and catching up with you all.

Take care
Hugs
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #102 on: July 29, 2007, 01:48:20 AM »
Awwwww Jan. I think you and Ann both should post to the thread even though you both are moderators, I am sure you both have a lot of input. 42 years w/o dating? How do you do it or do the llamas keep you too busy? I am betting they have more sense when it comes to mating rituals than some men I have talked to.... ;D
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #103 on: July 29, 2007, 01:49:38 AM »
Hi Jan,

Nice to "meet" you!  Welcome to the "e-soap" as Emeraldize calls it, lol!  Feel free to throw in some advice or bitch, this is our journal here, lol!  And the guys read it, shhhhhhhh!

~~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline anniebc

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #104 on: July 29, 2007, 01:53:41 AM »
Hi Ladies

Thanks for the invite, not sure I would have anything interesting to say.

Queenie...it's not the Alpacas that keep me busy, just a husband who refuses to divorce me.... ;) :D

Hugs to you all
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #105 on: July 29, 2007, 01:55:16 AM »
Hi Jan,

Nice to "meet" you!  Welcome to the "e-soap" as Emeraldize calls it, lol!  Feel free to throw in some advice or bitch, this is our journal here, lol!  And the guys read it, shhhhhhhh!

~~Cindy

I hope they read it cause some of these men need a CLUE and I don't mean the board game, Sister!!!!! Damn and  I thought you raised llamas, please forgive me on the error but to my untrained eye they look alike...


modified for a damn typo, not made by me but my wondering mouse....

(who is dragging her tired ass to bed)
« Last Edit: July 29, 2007, 01:56:58 AM by Queen Akasha »
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #106 on: July 29, 2007, 08:04:43 AM »
Hello ladies. I also was contacted by noheem and in his message he asked if I could figure him out, I messaged back and asked if he could figure this out, NO. Then I put him on ignore. .Love that block member option on the personals.                                                     Moonlight, It was very nice of you to try to hook Wes up, I believe I have talked to him before on the personals . Matter of fact, I sent him a flirt after he posted. I was just a little confused but that is normal for me.                                                                                                Queen, you are moving in September?   I completely understand not being able to do it alone, I live with family and if it wasn't for them, things would be really hard for me and little Robert.  At some point in time, We will be moving as well but only a couple hundred feet to a very nice trailer on the property.     Good luck to us all.  Cristy                                                     
« Last Edit: July 29, 2007, 05:47:22 PM by cjc »

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #107 on: July 29, 2007, 03:25:39 PM »
Hi GFs,

I asked "noheem" how the weather was in Nigeria today?  LOL 

OK, OK, so I couldn't wait and "I" asked Mr. Good Zip Code out to dinner for tonight, on a school night, lol!  Damn neggies have some kinda power over me, lol!  That full moon and Ms. Moonlight here are workin' it something fierce!  I'll let you know how it goes.........  ;D

~Cindy

P.S. - Viv have you read this far yet?  Post over here, GF!  Another sister to join us! 

Also, has anyone seen "Afraid" lately?  I've been thinking about her!
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #108 on: July 29, 2007, 10:35:55 PM »
Queen, you are moving in September?

Yes, I am hoping to. There is a whole house that I want to move into that is next door to my best friend. It is her landlord so she is suppose to call him for me tomorrow. I was going to start a thread in Off Topic but decided against it because I didn't want to sound needy. The last person who helped me ended up throwing it back in my face later on. So, I will do a shameless plug because ladies seem to understand. If you have anything laying around that you no longer need or want, let me know, I will gladly accept. Apologizes for the hijack...
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #109 on: July 29, 2007, 10:49:00 PM »
I also was contacted by noheem and in his message he asked if I could figure him out, I messaged back and asked if he could figure this out, NO.                                                     

Big laugh here. No Heem, No You, No Us -- You Deeg?

ML - you asked Noheem about the weather in Nigeria? Did he write back saying "it's hot like me" ?

And Jan/AnnieBC -- As I was reading of your incredibly, enviably long marriage, combined with the four-leggers, I imagined you in a mock tiff saying defiantly, " Well then, Alpaca Bag and Leave You! "
Do I hear rim shot? Faintly?

ML Love the Mr. Good Zipcode name. Great Names. You know, we could come up with a new form of the old Mr. Potato Head Game. Still using a potato for sticking in the plastic gear and appendages of all sorts. Perhaps it could be named Mr. Po-Date-O Head or Mr. The-Date-O Head.  Mr. Norwegian Hot Short Body Big Hands, Etc. Person, for example, could have big plastic hands and a bulge in his red plastic Bermuda shorts.

wrist wreck
Night Night
Em

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #110 on: July 29, 2007, 11:26:06 PM »
Hi GFs~

Date #2 with Mr. Good Zip Code went pretty well, he is a little goofy and a little loud at times, so I had to roll my eyes at him and he got the message.  All in all, a good guy.  Ball is in his court now, we'll see where he runs with it.  He only works three miles from my house! 

My boss who let me go in May from a temp position walked into the restaurant, I don't think he even saw me.  I was looking in case we made eye contact, I was going to be pleasant and say hello, maybe ask how temp #3 was working out?  LOL

Big laugh here. No Heem, No You, No Us -- You Deeg?

Mr. Norwegian Hot Short Body Big Hands, Etc. Person, for example, could have big plastic hands and a bulge in his red plastic Bermuda shorts.

Em~ You are making me pee over here with the "No Heem" thing, omg!  and GF if you had seen the jeans on Mr. HSN with the BIG hands (dammit full moon, sorry).  Hubba hubba...........

My vote is for Mr. Po-Date-Oh head, say it like you need to blow your nose or something!  We'll have to think up new outfits for all of them!  What would your Bakery Man be wearing?   ;)  WHEN is your date?  Spill, GF!   ;D

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #111 on: July 30, 2007, 03:18:14 AM »
Hey GFs~

Found another one, I believe, a SCAMMER!  Anyone been contacted by "rareguy" age 31 out of New Haven CT?  He sends a LINK to an online pic with a celebrity from the movie Baseketball.  So, OK that was in 1998, it says so at the bottom of the pic.......DUH!

I replied with my usual "How's the weather in Nigeria this time of year?"  Nothing ....silence....lol!

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #112 on: July 30, 2007, 11:46:32 AM »
Bakery Man is not back in town yet, so no date's been set, but I committed to telling all y'all. Well, he's not a baker, so it can't be whites---but safari-style shorts and a navy top, something like docksiders---more details to come after the date, I hope.

So glad to make you pee from glee---as I've gotten MANY giggles from this thread. It's my responsibility, I figure, to contribute as much as I can. It's good for our immune systems, you know!!

I'm liking this codespeak for who the f*** are you or do you think I cannot e-drive defensively? " So, how's the weather in Nigeria?" or " Gee, Nigeria must be dreadfully warm right now."  "Why do you wish to leave Nigeria?"

We shoulda seen his jeans, huh? Oh, do tell, ML!

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #113 on: July 31, 2007, 01:05:42 AM »
Hi GFs~

Em!  LOL  "Do tell, ML"  You're a poet and didn't know it, lol.....

Mr. Hot Short Norwegian (5'8" but oh so muscular) called me this evening while I was posting and the phone didn't ring, nothing.  Its a weird connection every time he calls, I never seem to directly get him, he goes to VM.  He left a message and I called back, left a message, his turn now.  Mr. Good Zip Code has been in touch some today, but busy with a home project.  Mr. Randy Andy took me out a few times in early spring, but was all paws, hence the name I have just given him, quite the "randy" one.  I was having trouble with my neck then and my dog had just died and he just irritated me, I wasn't any fun to be around, so I finally wrote him off.  Jay and I were getting closer then and I had all of my eggs in his damn basket.....So, Mr. Randy Andy IMed me tonight and wants to see me again.  I guess the full moon worked in his favor, he's going to call tomorrow, but I still have my high kick in case he acts up.  Promised myself never to go out with him again and now here I am, shit, lol.  An unemployed girl's gotta eat, right?

Jay was online tonight and I almost shit myself.  Jay was online tonight and I almost shit myself.  Jay was online tonight and I almost shit myself.  Jay was online tonight and I almost shit myself.  Shit.

I immediately turned to Queen for her super powers, lol.  Turns out Jay was on there and didn't realize he had signed into Messenger.  It was very strange because earlier in the evening I kept thinking about him and just thought someday he would IM me again.  I have my Ms. Cleo moments now and then, and with the full moon tonight, you know....So, I hit him up and we start chatting, he says he has big news and I freak, thinking he is getting back with his wife or hit the lotto or...Just ask Queen, I was ready to puke over here.  I always think the worst and I haven't IMed this guy in three weeks, only one email in that time, everything went from full-on to zilch during July.  Anyway, turns out he left a toxic job and is filing for divorce now rather than during the winter.   ;D  He got a new attorney, has had the kids at his vacation place and is feeling much better.  How do I know this?  We IMed for a few and he asked if he could call.  Oh boy oh boy oh boy.  Good and bad good and bad....so mixed up with him, if he only knew the damn power he has over me.  I need to read Moffie's post again because he said we (women) have the power, dammit, lol!  Amazing how fast an hour can go by on the phone.  I was so numb, trying to sound upbeat, but I just felt near-dead inside.  I know its nuts, but I almost know for sure that when the dust settles, he will find his way back to me and we can start over.  I am not waiting for him, as I have been dating and trying to distract myself, but Jay is a gem, a really good guy.  Damn I wish he would let me in, but I respect his need to do things his way and get through a very difficult time in his life.  Watch, like I told Queen, he'll come back around in the Fall and by then I'll be maried to a great Poz guy, lol.  Wishful thinking.......  The only cool straight poz guy on the east coast has been in touch with me some, but he's the one that travels for work all over the damn world.  I'll catch up to him sometime, he's a great guy, too, and even in the same state as me!  Woo-hoo!!!!

So, for now I will sit here and sing my Stevie (Nicks) songs and dream.......Maybe life has just begun, and really isn't over like I once thought.....

Thanks for letting me "breathe" here......

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #114 on: July 31, 2007, 06:28:20 PM »
Hi GFs~

I got an update in my Personals mail.  Seems that "rareguy" age 31 from New Haven CT is a bit confused  :-\

He replied....."ok, didnt quite understand that last one".... ........ previous .......LOL, how's the weather in Nigeria this time of year? LMAO

Um, YEAH.  I wish I had saved the link to his pic, hell I could prob google it and find it myself!  If I do, I'll post it here, cause he's SUCH a dream.

~Cindy

~~~~OMG I found it, lol!  I googled "Baseketball Movie Premiere" and there he was, our "rareguy."  LOL  So, if he is 31 yo NOW, and this movie came out in '98, he was 22yo in this pic?  See the copyright at the bottom of the pic?  You look and be the judge, lmao!

http://us.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/0429-bas/Events/0429-bas/vaughnro.ber.html?hint=group

What an ass!  I've emailed Poz and notified them.  You can always email personals@poz.com to report a scammer.

~Cindy
« Last Edit: July 31, 2007, 06:43:58 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #115 on: July 31, 2007, 09:20:38 PM »
Not really much to report. I have been getting a few newbies but what is freaking me out is how they are all saying that they love me after one email/chat or is trying to tell me their definition of love. Is it still the full moon or something? Or now I got one who is cute when I squint my eyes and look at his pic because it is blurry and the zoom feature isn't helping none. But all he wants to do is ask me questions and not even answer his own questions. Me being the blunt person that I am asked, what's up with that? No reply, back to asking about me. And if I didn't answer his replies fast enough, I would get buzzed. How rude. *walks away scratching her head*
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline zachysmom

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #116 on: July 31, 2007, 10:15:27 PM »
Oh my God, Queen that guy sounds a little creepy, you should tell him to answer some questions, or you'll block him or something. I don't trust guys like that, it seems they have something to hide.

I know I don't post much on this thread, but here's alittle advice from my husband who is a black belt in jujutsu, he says:

Remember when in trouble,
poke the eye, stomp the foot, kick the groin, and if you give a nice chop to the neck on the carotive artery, it can kill them, but most likely cause severe pain.
Cindy, please be careful when going on this dates, you never know, even if the guy is postive, doesn't make them nice guys automatically.
I pray for all the women to find peace and happiness in they're lives, and of course someone special to share they're lives with.

Get your game on girls, be aware at all times.

Much love always,
Nicole
From Russia with love,
Nicole

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #117 on: July 31, 2007, 10:27:07 PM »
Hi GFs~

Nic, don't worry, Mr. Randy Andy asked me to come over to his house tonight and I declined.  I know exactly where that will get me -- pissed off at paws.  He needs to man up and take me to dinner, lol.  Mr. Good Zip Code is IMing me, he's a little goofy but I like his humor, it keeps me smiling.

Queen, the full moon will be here a few days, it takes time to calm down, just like we all do, lol!  As far as the *BUZZ* thing on Yahoo, I always reply with *IGNORE*, lol!  I find it irritating and immature, lol.

Oh Mr. 53 just signed in, yeah Baby! 

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #118 on: August 01, 2007, 11:01:37 AM »
ZM - Good advice on the defense. FYI -- it's the carotid artery you're describing. I'd like to add a move I was taught. Pretend as if you are pushing a bar-style door handle to exit a store---using the base of your flattened palm/wrist (with fingers scrunched back creating an upside down U, you then drive it at the perp's nose (as centered as possible) as hard and fast as you can. At a minimum, you can break his nose and at a maximum, you can kill him.

Well, as Church Lady used to say on SNL " Isn't that special?"

Hope everyone's doing well despite the invasion of the Moon-challenged!

Em

edited in honor of Church Lady, actually remembered what she used to say while at work
« Last Edit: August 01, 2007, 09:47:58 PM by emeraldize »

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #119 on: August 01, 2007, 12:15:44 PM »
Bites, Bites, I got bites. And not bug bites either.  I'm emailing this one guy that lives in NC and another one in Virginia. So, i might have a date soon , if they don't turn out to be freaks. They seem nice so far.  EM, the needy one from Florida keeps calling but I don't feel like dealing with a 32 YO child.    Oh, 1 of the guys is off that Positive Singles site. The one we called herpes.com. There is a lot of that but also a couple HIV+ guys.         ML, Messaged our mutual friend but I guess he's really shy cause he hasn't written back. Maybe he will.  Okay, that's Cristy's update on the dating scene. I will update the Hysto thread tomorrow after my  followup appointment.  Cristy

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #120 on: August 01, 2007, 08:50:21 PM »
Christy~~

Glad you are getting some bites. I have too but they all seem to be freaking Humpers. I see enough dry humping out of my cat, I don't need to have someone latched to my leg. I still haven't heard from Boo. I am worried though. Moon and I put our heads together on some way to try to find him, if he's back in the hospital but I don't have enough information. I can see myself now trying to explain how I know the man and why don't I know his last name etc.. I am sad about it but am trying not to fear the worst. Other than that, it has been quiet on my end. I have just been feeling really tired lately. Last night I was in bed before 1 am.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #121 on: August 01, 2007, 10:20:41 PM »
Okay, here's a Milton Bradley game we women can play. Its called Pro Bono Editor (yes, you skanky playful thinkers, I thought about calling it Pro Boner Editor, but did not want to alienate any interested players.)

I've copied and pasted exactly the About Me portion of a POZ personals ad for a straight male. Here's the rules thus far. (which are open to editing as this is a game in the process of development including a new name!)

Read the text and then state what caught your attention in a good way and what turned you off. Then, edit his text in a way that you think might improve his odds in the marketplace. After we select best text by voting points from 1 - 5 five being highest, we'll e-mail it to him and let him know we think he'll increase his odds of being contacted if he changes his text! No, we won't encourage him to seek counseling even if we're sure he could use it.


I am honest and sincere I have been alone a long time now. I am trying to get back in life after a very long time by myself,need someone to fool around with,cuddle after a hot time in bed and do it many times in one night.When i find the right woman i am sincere and i will take good care of you,you will have nothing to worry about if you are true to your heart E-mail me and lets begin a wonderful feeling and joyful times.


The winner gets to go onto POZ find a target straight male whose copy needs pro bono-rific help and copy the text to start the next round!

« Last Edit: August 01, 2007, 10:24:21 PM by emeraldize »

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #122 on: August 01, 2007, 11:46:31 PM »
Hi GFs~

Queen you are tired from high sugars!  Try to eat low carb at dinner and in the evening when you are less active (unless there's something you haven't told me  ;) )  This may help some until you get on your insulin.....

Em~

That guy gets a 1 out of 5 from me, lol!  I am "Ms. Cleo" here with scary intuition, and my bar is set pretty damn high

I am honest and sincere I have been alone a long time now. I am trying to get back in life after a very long time by myself,need someone to fool around with,cuddle after a hot time in bed and do it many times in one night.When i find the right woman i am sincere and i will take good care of you,you will have nothing to worry about if you are true to your heart E-mail me and lets begin a wonderful feeling and joyful times.

This guy is a loser unless he just wants a HO.  Can we give him a zero or does he get a 1 because he's breathing?  I dub him Mr. LOSER, lol!

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #123 on: August 02, 2007, 02:56:37 AM »
He is honest and sincere alright...

If I'd have written a personals ad when I was unattached (which I did), I would have to do a lot of camouflaging (which he didn't do) of the basic "horny 'n lonely" feelings.

That's the main thing. You don't have to write everything you crave the most in your ad (if this is really all that goes in his mind he is not such a creep... just some ol' fashioned rolling in the hay, could be a lot worse, there is one guy whose profile is pretty explcit about his S&M preferences "you should look good in an evening dress and in bondage", something like that.

He should write something like "Hi I'm X from X. X years old. I do this and that. Into this and that. Look like this and that. Honest and sincrere, looking for an meaningful LTR. with all the benefits, for hopefully some great feelings and joyful times" It's pretty clear you're horny and lonely... that's pretty much a given. and there's no need for all the "shopping channel" "call now, get on that phone" urging either.

But on the other hand it's good that people were their heart (and ****) on their sleeves, that's way whoever's not up for MANY times in one night (it's been a long time since I've dated 18 year olds) would know that this is not up her alley, so to speak.
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #124 on: August 02, 2007, 07:29:42 AM »
Hi DRAG and ML!

This was  interesting!! Yes, ML, he at least gets a 1 for a pulse. 0 would indicate not breathing. :D

I hoped I wasn't being ultra-prudish, but I find so many profiles are just incredibly non-fetching especially the ones that show the man with his shirt off when it should probably be on. Drag, that S&M one -- whew!! but, hey there just might be a gal whose planets are perfectly aligned with his---I just find that hanging the blatant shingles out is such a turn off.

I found it interesting that for someone whose been alone for a looooooong time, how does he know he's still got that Viagrability?

I thought the ending was killer, in the most literal sense...Let's begin a wonderful feeling...I'll send the pooled edit suggestions to this MARYLAND profile and see if he appreciates the input. I think some of these men are clueless as to how to market themselves.

Anyhoo, shelving the digression, back to the vicarious vibrant tag-alongs with the stories of ML and GQ. I am assuming you are still content Drag? And Cristy, you have fleas? You are being bitten repeatedly?  ::) Goodie.

I corresponded for a while nearly two years ago with a guy from NC, lost track of him----nice person, self-employed, distance was going to be a factor from my end, but he is bright, decent-looking and introspective. I hope, for your sake, it is the same guy or someone similar.

GQ - Sheer frustration on the Boo saga, I'm sure. If he re-surfaces, maybe it's time to explain the lengths to which you were willing to go to learn if and where he's hospitalized. Maybe that would cause him to start communicating directly or give you a way to do so---especially if he doesn't have family..

Well, heck, I'd like to stay on longer as my wrist is hanging in, but it's a day off that's loaded with To Do's galore.

I do hope we hear from Belief. I will send her a PM to let her know we're thinking of her.

Em

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #125 on: August 02, 2007, 09:45:11 AM »
Hiya Em

Belief wrote on the Living With, it appears that she's doing OK, all things considered.

Me, my "man troubles" don't fall within the scope of this thread really. It is not man troubles in fact, more like the clouds looming on the horizon and getting closer and closer - my BF's contract up soon, he doesn't know what to do, employment options are very limited here (not to mention nonexistent), meanwhile I am still binded, etc etc.

He does want to stay though and is willing even to go on the Dutch dole for a while (not an easy feat). Ultimately we will have to relocate though, he can't stay here forever. And I will go with him, even if he moves to Iraq! But probabaly he will just go back to Spain, which will put me in the line of vision of his family, who are ultra-conservative and old-fashioned Catholics - v. nice people though, can't speak a word of English but welcomed me into their home, however, they know nothing about the real me. They would be shocked to find out that I have tattoos let alone you know what... - but I will worry about that when the time comes. Ah who am I kidding, i do worry constantly, but try to keep it under some control. It's just scary to imagine what will happen, where would we go. We have it so good here, I really don't want to leave now. But if this isn't true love, then I don't know what is, so of course I'll leave if I have to. He doesn't want us to relocate either, unless there is no other option.

Thanks for asking...

Keeping an eye out on this thread and in general, and thinking many thoughts and sending good vibes down everyone's ways.
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline Melodie206

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #126 on: August 02, 2007, 10:43:57 AM »
Hello Ladies,
Am new at this but just wanted to introduce myself and wish you all a great day!!!

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #127 on: August 02, 2007, 12:42:29 PM »
Hello Melodie and Welcome !!


Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #128 on: August 02, 2007, 02:45:33 PM »
Hi Melodie...When you feel like sharing more about yourself, there is a introduction thread. I look forward to getting to know you..
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #129 on: August 02, 2007, 06:08:17 PM »
Hi Mel,

Welcome to the threads here!  You'll find them (and ultimately "US") to be very entertaining!  But we're here to lean on, too, for anything and everything!

Em~ 

Um, I don't think we should be emailing "Horn Dogs" revised versions of their profiles which don't capture the "true essence"  (LOL) of who they really are.  Why help out a dumbass if he's just that, a dumbass?  You know I am saying all of this in good fun, but you know "First impressions LAST." 

Now do you believe me when I complain about pos men in MARYLAND?  That's where I live!  The pos guys here are simple, redneck hairballs, and the good ones are still hiding somewhere!  I bet that guy likes NASCAR and a cold one?  NOT MY type!

I would love for you to tell me what CITY this guy is from.  I would bet money he is right near Baltimore!  Redneck capital of the east coast!  Please let me know, lol!

I have a date with a new neggie this weekend.  He is older, but not like Mr. 53   ;D.  This guy is 51  :o  and is a biomedical research kinda guy, also goes shark diving and films little bits for Discovery channel.  Poor man, he invited me to his house for a dip in the pool as our first date.  He asked me this on the phone, and I playfully shot back, "Sweetie, that's NOT a very good idea for a first date.  How about we do dinner instead?"  LOL  Sometimes I wonder about guys, gheez.  Nunnery, anyone?  Regardless, I am wondering how much he knows about HIV because of the work he does.  Probably a lot.   I was online with him last week when my insulin pump wasn't working right, he was my "Help Desk" guy that I mentioned somewhere earlier, but I'll just refer to him as Mr. Researcher, yeah, that's easy to type!  LOL

I have two job interviews tomorrow, the first at 9am!  OMG  I have stayed up until 4am and 5am sometimes lately, so early to bed for me tonight!  I did a phone interview with this company last week, and the assistant and I spoke for nearly an hour.  I think she is as excited to meet me as I am to meet her.  And get this, the building is RIGHT next to the job that let me go in May where I was temping, lol!  Hee hee!   :D  I can wave and smile!

OK, so I gotta relax tonight, don't worry if I'm not around tonight, I'm just taking it easy.

Damn, still have Jay on the brain.  If only he could read all of these threads, ugh!

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #130 on: August 02, 2007, 07:57:05 PM »
And Cristy, you have fleas? You are being bitten repeatedly?  ::) Goodie.

I corresponded for a while nearly two years ago with a guy from NC, lost track of him----nice person, self-employed, distance was going to be a factor from my end, but he is bright, decent-looking and introspective. I hope, for your sake, it is the same guy or someone similar.

   Em , I love your sense of humor.. The cats have fleas' , not me. But I talked to the NC guy last night for about an hour. Very nice fella. I will talk to him again tomorrow as I am kinda emotionally tired today and don't really feel like talking on the phone. I did leave him a voice message so he wouldn't think I was blowing him off.           Queen, sorry about the humpers, I get some of those , too. Hope you hear from boo. Also I wish I had some household stuff to send you but I will be in the same boat come Nov. or sooner. I hope you can get the things you need.                                                       ML, congrats on the 2 job interviews. I love your new picture on the feature.. Sorry about Jay but glad you got another date. I envy you your social life, sometimes. Good luck.     Cristy                            PS, Em , we do have some of the strangest/prettiest insects where I am live. Maybe it's the rural location but most of them don;'t bite.  C

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #131 on: August 02, 2007, 11:39:40 PM »
Hi Cristy

Glad you get my sense of humor---just jaggin' ya about the fleas. I hope the NC connection proves to be fun!!

ML, Nope, I'm not sending the guy any text. 'Twas my mind meandering when I could have been doing laundry or reading something timely.  I realize it's infinitely better that he doth let his colors fly and help us to never click on " contact" as a reaction. BTW - BALTIMORE -- you are so regionally on target!

Could you come up with any more neggie dates, child? Jeez, leave some for the rest of the world, will ya?

Congrats on the interviews--I hope they go well. I have one next week and am most hopeful it goes well.

Night Night all.
Em

tendai

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #132 on: August 03, 2007, 06:00:03 AM »
Dating? well my latest experience went like this. met this guy he gave me a lift to work and suggested drinks after work so i agreed and we went right? so we had a nice evening and all just talking general stuff but it was a lot of fun, we didnt get too personal.   we went out a few more times then he suggests
 "lets go somewhere where we can be alone i need you tonight"
 i say "lets go to your house"
he says "well my MAID is there and she goes to church"
i'm thinking what does his maid have to do with bringing people to his own house?
anyway i made excuses and we didnt go.  we saw each other a few more times and on one occasion he tells me his house got broken into by armed robbers and they held his MAID at gunpoint while they took his decoder and radio and other stuff.
so like i know he has kids coz he drops them off at school close to where i stay and i gave him the benefit of the doubt that he may be widowed or divorced so i didnt want to press the 'are u married' line a lot in case i was treading on sensitive ground. (lame excuse i know)
so what happens is these days due to our government ordering everyone to reduce prices our commuter buses arent on the road coz they cant get any fuel so getting home is a big problem we stand around the bus stop for at least an hour before we get a bus. so anyway i'm standing there and there he appears and i think "sheesh i never realised how tall this guy is i should go talk to him" but then he disappeared trying to get into a bus that had come.  i assume he's gone then he reappears and he's with this woman.  he sees me and he visibly recoils and makes like he's going to turn away, then he moves forward and goes and stands far ahead in the crowd.  the woman folllows him and i'm thinking 'so this must be the MAID'.
few minutes later some buses come and there's only a few of us left coz the stampede boarding the buses is too much for some of us. a combi comes and we get in nicely and sit down and i'm sitting in the sea behind them and staring holes into the back of his head.  then someone disembarks and i end up sitting next to them right beside the MAID.  i almost laughed.  i wondered should i phone him or text him and see how he reacts? should i greet him?  of course being the coward that i am i didnt do anything coz u never know what a cornered philanderer might do. the people behind me must have thot i was crazy or someting coz i was just shaking my head the whole journey home. i was the first person out of the bus and went on my way without looking for them.  there u go. i mean at least things never went too far with him , imagine if i'd fallen in love with him or something? lucky for me my cynicism (sp) protects me from that.
thats my latest story as far as dating goes. knowing me  i'm pretty sure there'll be more
« Last Edit: August 03, 2007, 06:12:18 AM by tendai »

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #133 on: August 03, 2007, 08:01:19 AM »
MAID, huh? That's a good one. Seems like it  could be his codespeak for wife. In his case think of it as Man Acting Incredibly Deceitfully. Send him a thank you note for saving you time which you can use to find a better person.

Offline sunseeker

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #134 on: August 07, 2007, 11:00:01 PM »
Hi Ladies

New to this blog and hoping you don't mind that I have been reading.  Me just broke up with my boyfriend who is + and feeling like I will not find anyone that I like or want to like.  Well, nice to meet you and I hope to be more interactive soon.

K

Offline cjc

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #135 on: August 07, 2007, 11:36:52 PM »
Hello, Sunseeker, Welcome to the forums. We started a third dating thread so it won't take as long to load. Feel to check it out.  Cristy

Offline sunseeker

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Re: Dating Part II: Jay, Boo & Other Guys, Too
« Reply #136 on: August 07, 2007, 11:52:55 PM »
Thanks Cristy I will.

Sunseeker.

 


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