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wazzzzzup? need advice and stuff

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tornado:
Hi,

1st of all, thanks for this web site.  I would have gone absolutely crazy if it werenít for this online community.  To be sure, this is my first post.

Ok, hereís the deal.  I met a wonderful woman about 3 months ago.  I feel we have hit it off really well, and I really like like her.  Sheís HIV positive and Iím negative.  We are lesbians.  We havenít had real sex yet.  Iím going to a HIV doctor today to get some straight answers about this type of relationship.

But since Iím impatient and a little weary of doctors, I want to ask you guys some things:

1.   What is the occurrence rate of lesbians transmitting HIVÖand donít give me that example of a couple who transmitted it via toys that had blood on themÖ..isnít there any more data besides that?
2.   Is kissing really not a risk?  What about if you both eat Doritos or other crunchy things right before a French kiss?
3.   Oral sex:  do we really have to use dental dams every single time?
4.   Are there others here who are lesbians? Any advice?
5.   I want to hear from those who have seroconverted from a positive partner.  What do you really think about that?  Are you mad or upset?  Are you still with that poz partner?

Thanks in advance for reading this and if you respond, Iíll give you good vibes in the universeÖ..karma.

tornado

Dan J.:
Hi Tornado & welcome to the forums!

I don't know the answer to your first question, but Iam sure someone will chime in with one soon.

Kissing isn't a risk & if you want to pass a dorito from your mouth to hers it will be ok.

Don't know anything about oral sex & hiv transmission from awith a woman because I've never had sex with one to know... Again somebody will answer soon.

My seroconversion was way back in the '80's & to tell you the truth I can't remember much about it. Heck, I can't remember what I ate for dinner last night!   I wasn't infected by a partner , at least I think it wasn't him.  I amnot mad at him, why should I be? If it was by him he didn't know, hell I could have infected him. We found out at the same time in 1986.

Anywho, Just wanted to say Hey Girl! Welcome, we glad you are here! We need more of our lesbian sisters around here.


Dan J.  :)

Sky:
1.   What is the occurrence rate of lesbians transmitting HIVÖand donít give me that example of a couple who transmitted it via toys that had blood on themÖ..isnít there any more data besides that? Transmission between lesbians is very low risk.
2.   Is kissing really not a risk?  What about if you both eat Doritos or other crunchy things right before a French kiss? Kissing is very low risk.  Eating and drinking isn't a risk either
3.   Oral sex:  do we really have to use dental dams every single time? The incidence of transmission through oral sex is quite low, however, it never hurts to be on the safe side of things
4.   Are there others here who are lesbians? Any advice? There may be, but my posting time is so low cuz of school I can't answer this question
5.   I want to hear from those who have seroconverted from a positive partner.  What do you really think about that?  Are you mad or upset?  Are you still with that poz partner? I sero'd from my partner back in 2003.  It was a mess that could have been avoided, but here I am.  I was very upset because I was lied to about it.  I am not longer with him.

Ann:
Hi Tornado,

I've moved your thread to the "Someone I Care About" forum, which is a more appropriate forum for your situation.

1.   What is the occurrence rate of lesbians transmitting HIV…and don’t give me that example of a couple who transmitted it via toys that had blood on them…..isn’t there any more data besides that?

No, there really isn't any more data than that, simply because there is nothing to document. Hiv transmission between lesbians is rare in the extreme.

2.   Is kissing really not a risk?  What about if you both eat Doritos or other crunchy things right before a French kiss?

Kissing is not a risk, no matter what sort of spin you want to put on it. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

3.   Oral sex:  do we really have to use dental dams every single time?

No, you don't have to use them at all. Cunnilingus is NOT a risk for hiv transmission. The "fluid" that can be infectious is actually a thick mucus that covers and protects the cervix. You won't come into contact with this (unless you have a ten inch tongue and if that's the case, I want your contact details ;) ) The fluids a woman produces when sexually aroused come from two gland on either side of the vaginal opening and have not been shown to be any more infectious than sweat or tears. (Sweat and tears aren't infectious)

Most of the woman to woman hiv transmissions have been between women who have shared drug injecting equipment. Really, this is the only thing you need to avoid. Hiv is a very fragile, difficult to transmit virus.

Good luck with your relationship. Hiv does not have to be a barrier to a full life together. You might want to check out our Welcome Thread where you'll find links to other sections of this website, such as the Lessons.

Ann

tornado:
thanks a lot everyone who replied.  and ann, i have NEVER been good at organization...you can move my posts to mars if you have to.  :P

i went to the doc later today and got the EXACT same advice you guys are giving.  and i got a free box of latex gloves!

finally, question: am i supposed to recycle my threads here?  like, if i want to come back here and talk some more about my poz/neg relationship, am i supposed to re-use this thread?

sending warm and fuzzy karma out to you all...

tornado

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