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All new and yet still scared

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Hi all
My name is Dave I am a 40 year old gay man I was diagnosed on May 4, 2007 and that was the start of being Scared and Confused. the more question I had the more I got scared. I been to a few support groups and they were not willing to give support they were more interested in just getting in my pants being told, well you got it and i got it so why not just do it it is not like we can get any worst, or walking into a place and hearing look guys fresh meat! OH MY GOD someone please tell me not all groups are like this?
I just hate being scared and confused, I am not looking for sex or a relationship I am just looking for answers to my question and what I am going through is it normal or not?

I do not drive so it is hard for me to get around and money is very tight so I can not always take a cab, train or bus. if anyone knows of any good support groups  in my area please let me know.

Hey Dave

Welcome to the forums!!! This is a great place to find information!!  I can relate to your story alot... I found out on Jan 3rd 2007, and the first few months have been crazy!!! But it is starting to settle down now that i am getting used to knowing.... What are the questions that you have?

I live in OKLA or I would help you with support groups in your area... Have you done an intake with the local Ryan White, or any other HIV help group?

Best of Luck

Hi Jr,
I am in Lakewood, NJ ryan whte? I been all over the internet and belong to alot of online groups and even though they are ok, there are many times I just need to be face to face with someone. yes I know that things will get better but being scared, not knowing if everything that I read or hear is the truth or what I just dont know

Welcome!  No one is going to get in your pants here.... unless, of course, you want to send me some nude photos  ;D

Finding real-world support groups that work can be a rough task, given how many areas have well-facilitated groups run by various organizations, then "peer-led" support groups and purely social groups... ya know, let's drink, smoke, do drugs, get laid and deny that we have a life-threatening disease....  Even in the facilitated groups, things can be very cliquish from so many pozzies building their social life around a support group that "breaking in" as a newcomer can be very discouraging.  You'll need to shop around to find something that fits, tiring as that may be..... or maybe you can pick a recommendation from a case worker, etc.

In addition to whatever real-world alternative there may be in your area, there is a moderator listserv for HIV+ Gay men called GayPoz -- see for instructions.  Email may not be ideal, and getting accustomed to online personalities takes some time, but I have found some solid friends over nine years on the list.


Hello Rainback,

welcome to the forums. You are newly diagnosed and you're going through what most of us have gone through during the first few months after diagnosis. You will see many answers to your questions on here, from mental help to explaining numbers to nutrition to just get you to smile from stupid posts you will certainly find on here.

As for support groups, I've not tried any, I support myself by going on with my life, you will see that it's easier to do when you stop thinking about HIV when you wake up, and this will come soon, so hang in there !



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