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Author Topic: UPDATE: Disclosing to my wife and Her HIV Test Results  (Read 9678 times)

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Offline Florida69

  • Member
  • Posts: 428
Re: My Wife is Negative, and ppl in this forum should be happy
« Reply #50 on: June 25, 2007, 11:19:14 AM »
xtente, many of us have been very respectful of you and your situation.  We offered without question support and understanding, you want acceptance from us.  Most of us here are not judgmental (at least I know I am not).  I for one offered congratulations and a sympathetic ear, but bro what is it exactly you want from strangers, who you have made it clear that you have not been forth coming with?   You believe in God great, then remember do not judge unless you want to be judged. We understand that it is a privacy issue, which is why many of us (including me) are here.   I wish you nothing but peace, love and happiness.  Not everyone is jumping down your throat, but you have to understand this is a safe haven for many.  You are pretty selfish and thinking that everything is about you. No one, including me likes for someone that I do not know to start making demands on us, you have no right.  You should be accepting of the forum that you have joined, this is not a gay, straight of limited forum.  There are people here from all walks of life, you need to show them respect like the respect you are demanding.  Good luck to you, your wife, and your potential family.  With that said, I too will try to stay clear of your posts.  D

[attachment deleted by admin]
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
Calvin Coolidge

Offline xtente

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
Homophobia? Are you joking Tim?
« Reply #51 on: June 25, 2007, 11:22:27 AM »
xtente:

You seem to have an incredible ability to turn what could be thought-provoking threads into toxic dumping grounds. Within minutes of your posts, the moderator reports begin trickling in.

You know what?  It's not what you have to say... it's how you choose to say it.

Let's take the quote cited by Basquo.  Instead of taking the time to re-approach your wording -- the homophobia if your comment is thinly veiled -- you responded with the even more offensive and totally passive-aggressive "I am not her to judge you in any way shape or form."  But you ARE, xtente... your quote was full of judgement.  And if you fail to recognize this -- and I'm telling you right now that the whole love-the-sinner-hate-the-sin nonsense has no place in these pages -- I'm going to ask that you reconsider your participation in the Forums.
   
Tim Horn

You MUST be kidding Tim. In my response to Basquo i said "I am not here to judge you in any way shape or form. BE WELL."  How does that smack of homophobia. I tell you, some people REALLY need to reach to have a point to attack someone over.

Let me tell you something about my god..Jesus. He says that you are to LOVE everyone. I have a gay brother, gay aunt, and guess what? What they do in their bedroom is their business, and only God can judge them. The only issue I have with my brother's homosexuality (and its not even that that I have an issue with) is that is appears to be a very unhappy lifestyle for him, and so i worry. Even after I told him i was negative (he is one of three ppl that know) he still went out and had unprotected sex, and is often depressed because he "cant find love and commitment."  I am no homophobe. And further, when someone talks about "marriage" it cannot apply to gay ppl because marriage, by definition means a UNION between a MAN and a WOMAN. Civil union is what I would use to talk about gay people becoming legal partners. May seem like semantics, but some people are very protective of the term marriage.

Further Tim, I think that as an adult, I can respond how I choose. I didnt "blast" that guy, I simply said "that is my belief."

I am strongly thinking of seeking out christian postive forum, because I know that my words and beliefs wont make fragile ppl even more fragile and reactionary. That I get attacked for stating how i feel is ridiculous. It happens time and again and only because some ppl feel their precious sexuality is being attacked and that is crap. Give me a break.
« Last Edit: June 25, 2007, 11:31:56 AM by xtente »

Offline xtente

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
oh boy
« Reply #52 on: June 25, 2007, 11:25:22 AM »
xtente, many of us have been very respectful of you and your situation.  We offered without question support and understanding, you want acceptance from us.  Most of us here are not judgmental (at least I know I am not).  I for one offered congratulations and a sympathetic ear, but bro what is it exactly you want from strangers, who you have made it clear that you have not been forth coming with?   You believe in God great, then remember do not judge unless you want to be judged. We understand that it is a privacy issue, which is why many of us (including me) are here.   I wish you nothing but peace, love and happiness.  Not everyone is jumping down your throat, but you have to understand this is a safe haven for many.  You are pretty selfish and thinking that everything is about you. No one, including me likes for someone that I do not know to start making demands on us, you have no right.  You should be accepting of the forum that you have joined, this is not a gay, straight of limited forum.  There are people here from all walks of life, you need to show them respect like the respect you are demanding.  Good luck to you, your wife, and your potential family.  With that said, I too will try to stay clear of your posts.  D


Ok so now i am selfish because i got upset that people chose to attack me over being happy that someone escaped the terrible fate of HIV? Right. I dont get that at all. Now, over the weekend my wife and I had a great time, went sailing, etc. I was happy that she was negative and we celebrated. Then, this am i look at my original post and see all this hate? And I am supposed to say nothing? And then I am selfish and am to be avoided. Right. I can see there is a common thread among the ppl in this forum, and I am glad I am an "outsider"

Offline Tim Horn

  • Member
  • Posts: 799
Re: Homophobia? Are you joking Tim?
« Reply #53 on: June 25, 2007, 11:35:04 AM »
I am strongly thinking of seeking out christian postive forum, because I know that my words and beliefs wont make fragile ppl even more fragile and reactionary.

In encourage you to do just that.

Tim Horn


Offline xtente

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
Re: Homophobia? Are you joking Tim?
« Reply #54 on: June 25, 2007, 11:36:57 AM »
In encourage you to do just that.

Tim Horn



of course you would because you have no argument. Some ppl are just the same. you just proved that. no better than those you rail against in society. You like "blue" and if anything is contrary or is perceived as contrary to "blue" you rail against it the same way society at large rails against you. I mean if someone says "I like yellow" all of a sudden you/they percieve it as an attack on "blue." A simple metaphor, but you get the gist.   
« Last Edit: June 25, 2007, 11:40:23 AM by xtente »

Offline woodshere

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,477
  • ain't no shame in my game
Re: Homophobia? Are you joking Tim?
« Reply #55 on: June 25, 2007, 11:47:10 AM »
The only issue I have with my brother's homosexuality (and its not even that that I have an issue with) is that is appears to be a very unhappy lifestyle for him, and so i worry. Even after I told him i was negative (he is one of three ppl that know) he still went out and had unprotected sex, and is often depressed because he "cant find love and commitment."

An unhappy lifestyle is not determined by ones sexual orientation.  It is determined by the way one leads their life.  I know many heterosexuals that are having unprotected sex and get depressed because he can't find love and commitment.

And if I were to call someone a lying, worthless piece of crap and then said BE WELL, that does not excuse me for what I said.  It would only prove that I am a polite asshole.




edited to make sure an attack was not taken by this post
« Last Edit: June 25, 2007, 11:49:40 AM by woodshere »
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline Florida69

  • Member
  • Posts: 428
Re: My Wife is Negative, and ppl in this forum should be happy
« Reply #56 on: June 25, 2007, 11:47:20 AM »
Bro, you should look deeper and stop whining and start living.  Does anyone care that you are christian, only that matters to you. Again good luck and sorry if the truth hurts, but I am glad that it set you free.  You and your wife went sailing, you want an award, we are not going to be the ones to give it to you.  Honestly, you are only the outsider because you made yourself out to be that.  Many people are in similar situations, I have several friends that have experienced the exact same thing.  You act like a little kid or the so called christians of this century someone says something you don't want to hear or they do not agree with you then they must be wrong.  Not everyone is wrong, maybe you should look to yourself and focus on how you can make yourself better.  Are you supposed to say nothing, why don't you just move on and focus on the good things that have happened instead of wallowing in poor me.  Maybe the person to help you would be a professional, because unfortunately I do not have a degree in that field.  Again, good luck.  D
« Last Edit: June 25, 2007, 11:50:11 AM by Florida69 »
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
Calvin Coolidge

Offline Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,424
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: UPDATE: Disclosing to my wife and Her HIV Test Results
« Reply #57 on: June 25, 2007, 11:48:21 AM »
For those of you who have not read xtente's previous posts, perhaps you don't know how to Search for them. Go to the Search button at the top of this page, it's blue with a spy glass icon on it (not the POZ search word on the top header). When you get to the parameters page, in the field asking for a word to search, type     hiv  and in the user field which shows an asterisk type      xtente        then make sure at the bottom regarding which boards to search that   check all   is marked, then submit. If it works as it should you will get a complete listing of his posts, then you can understand more clearly what prompts the level of concern, doubt, cynicism, etc. that you are reading in the posts of those who've been following him since he recently joined us.

It's easier to click on his screen name, then select "Show the last posts of this person."
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline xtente

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
how witty
« Reply #58 on: June 25, 2007, 11:48:33 AM »
An unhappy lifestyle is not determined by ones sexual orientation.  It is determined by the way one leads their life.  I know many heterosexuals that are having unprotected sex and get depressed because he can't find love and commitment.

And IF (key word if, so as not to be interpreted as what I am saying) I were to call you a lying, worthless piece of crap and then said BE WELL, that does not excuse me for what I called you.  It only proves that I am a polite asshole.

thanks for that. i will laugh with my wife about that over dinner tonight. Also, if your sexual orientation dictated that you were attracted to Male Adolescent Lions in African jungles, how happy do you think you would be? just a thought to counter your point.
« Last Edit: June 25, 2007, 11:52:40 AM by xtente »

Offline xtente

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
I read your reply and
« Reply #59 on: June 25, 2007, 11:49:40 AM »
Bro, you should look deeper and stop whining and start living.  Does anyone care that you are christian, only that matters to you. Again good luck and sorry if the truth hurts, but I am glad that it set you free.  You and your wife went sailing, you want an award, we are not going to be the ones to give it to you.  Honestly, you are only the outsider because you made yourself out to be that.  Many people are in similar situations, I have several friends that have experienced the exact same thing.  You act like a little kid or the so called christians of this century someone says something you don't want to hear or they do not agree with you then they must be wrong.  Not everyone is wrong, maybe you should look to yourself and focus on how you can make yourself better.  Are you supposed to say nothing, why don't you just move on and focus on the good things that have happened instead of wallowing in poor me.  Again, good luck.  D

there was no lesson in it other than your "good luck" comment which i do appreciate. Thanks! :-)

Offline redhotmuslbear

  • Member
  • Posts: 605
  • A genuine certified freak of nature, and a hot one
GACK!!
"The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do." - BF Skinner
12-31-09   222wks VL  2430 CD4 690 (37%)
09-30-09   208wks VL  2050  CD4 925 (42%)
06-25-08   143wks VL  1359  CD4 668 (32%)  CD8 885
02-11-08   123wks off meds:  VL 1364 CD4 892(40%/0.99 ratio)
10-19-07   112wks off meds:   VL 292  CD4 857(37%/0.85 ratio)

One copy of delta-32 for f*****d up CCR5 receptors, and an HLA B44+ allele for "CD8-mediated immunity"... beteer than winning Powerball, almost!

Offline jack

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,578
  • fomerly the loser known as Jake
Re: My Wife is Negative, and ppl in this forum should be happy
« Reply #61 on: June 25, 2007, 12:06:05 PM »
you seem very confused at this point in time. I think you need to reconsider what you really believe or learn how to communicate in a more sensible way. I still can find nothing in the ten commandments about homosexuality being a sin,which has to be a real conundrum for our Christian right brothers who love to take everything to the absolute literal sense.  Jesus did say "love they neighbor" not love thy neighbor except if he is gay.
 Live and let fucking live.

Offline Ann

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  • Posts: 28,140
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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: UPDATE: Disclosing to my wife and Her HIV Test Results
« Reply #62 on: June 25, 2007, 12:09:47 PM »
Xtente,

I've merged your two threads on the subject of you and your wife. There was no need to start a new thread.

You are very close to being given a time out. Enough of the games, please.

And everyone else - why bother replying to him? He's going to argue no matter what so save your time. Let him argue with himself. He'll soon get bored and find a more exciting target somewhere else on the internet.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline xtente

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
This is an exchange between me and a mod today
« Reply #63 on: June 25, 2007, 12:13:09 PM »
 
Re: My Wife is Negative, and ppl in this forum should be happy
ę Reply #4 on: Today at 10:58:10 AM Ľ   

________________________________________
xtente:

You seem to have an incredible ability to turn what could be thought-provoking threads into toxic dumping grounds. Within minutes of your posts, the moderator reports begin trickling in.

You know what?  It's not what you have to say... it's how you choose to say it.

Let's take the quote cited by Basquo.  Instead of taking the time to re-approach your wording -- the homophobia if your comment is thinly veiled -- you responded with the even more offensive and totally passive-aggressive "I am not her to judge you in any way shape or form."  But you ARE, xtente... your quote was full of judgement.  And if you fail to recognize this -- and I'm telling you right now that the whole love-the-sinner-hate-the-sin nonsense has no place in these pages -- I'm going to ask that you reconsider your participation in the Forums.
   
Tim Horn
 and my response:

You MUST be kidding Tim. In my response to Basquo i said "I am not here to judge you in any way shape or form. BE WELL."  How does that smack of homophobia. I tell you, some people REALLY need to reach to have a point to attack someone over.

Let me tell you something about my god..Jesus. He says that you are to LOVE everyone. I have a gay brother, gay aunt, and guess what? What they do in their bedroom is their business, and only God can judge them. The only issue I have with my brother's homosexuality (and its not even that that I have an issue with) is that is appears to be a very unhappy lifestyle for him, and so i worry. Even after I told him i was negative (he is one of three ppl that know) he still went out and had unprotected sex, and is often depressed because he "cant find love and commitment."  I am no homophobe. And further, when someone talks about "marriage" it cannot apply to gay ppl because marriage, by definition means a UNION between a MAN and a WOMAN. Civil union is what I would use to talk about gay people becoming legal partners. May seem like semantics, but some people are very protective of the term marriage.

Further Tim, I think that as an adult, I can respond how I choose. I didnt "blast" that guy, I simply said "that is my belief."

I am strongly thinking of seeking out christian postive forum, because I know that my words and beliefs wont make fragile ppl even more fragile and reactionary. That I get attacked for stating how i feel is ridiculous. It happens time and again and only because some ppl feel their precious sexuality is being attacked and that is crap. Give me a break.


There is bias in this forum and its an indicator that even wounded ppl still lash out in hate and fear.

Offline Florida69

  • Member
  • Posts: 428
Re: I read your reply and
« Reply #64 on: June 25, 2007, 12:14:15 PM »
there was no lesson in it other than your "good luck" comment which i do appreciate. Thanks! :-)

Thanks, Ann taking your advice....

Xente, I learned something in your post, you deserve what these people are giving you because you are not a very nice person.  So I join the masses and I hope you get back everything you have done ten fold.  



[attachment deleted by admin]
« Last Edit: June 25, 2007, 12:17:57 PM by Florida69 »
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
Calvin Coolidge

Offline xtente

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
and here is another exchange between me and a member
« Reply #65 on: June 25, 2007, 12:14:53 PM »
woodshere:

Quote from: xtente on Today at 11:22:27 AM
The only issue I have with my brother's homosexuality (and its not even that that I have an issue with) is that is appears to be a very unhappy lifestyle for him, and so i worry. Even after I told him i was negative (he is one of three ppl that know) he still went out and had unprotected sex, and is often depressed because he "cant find love and commitment."

An unhappy lifestyle is not determined by ones sexual orientation.  It is determined by the way one leads their life.  I know many heterosexuals that are having unprotected sex and get depressed because he can't find love and commitment.

And if I were to call someone a lying, worthless piece of crap and then said BE WELL, that does not excuse me for what I said.  It would only prove that I am a polite asshole.


Me:
thanks for that. i will laugh with my wife about that over dinner tonight. Also, if your sexual orientation dictated that you were attracted to Male Adolescent Lions in African jungles, how happy do you think you would be? just a thought to counter your point.

Now you tell me who's being nasty?

Offline Basquo

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,272
Re: Homophobia? Are you joking Tim?
« Reply #66 on: June 25, 2007, 12:17:06 PM »
And further, when someone talks about "marriage" it cannot apply to gay ppl because marriage, by definition means a UNION between a MAN and a WOMAN. Civil union is what I would use to talk about gay people becoming legal partners. May seem like semantics, but some people are very protective of the term marriage.


Then you either used the term flippantly, without regard to semantics, or you meant what you said previously, that marraige is the only way to stay healthy.  I'm glad it's working for your wife.

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: UPDATE: Disclosing to my wife and Her HIV Test Results
« Reply #67 on: June 25, 2007, 12:19:27 PM »
Xtente,

I don't have time to sit here and babysit you. You're begging for a time out and I'm giving you one. Read the posting guidelines in the Welcome Thread if you want to know more about being timed out.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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