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Author Topic: feeling guilty..... need advice  (Read 9239 times)

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Offline jae3

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feeling guilty..... need advice
« on: June 10, 2007, 05:36:17 PM »
It has been awhile since I have posted in the forums but I have something on my mind and it has been bothering me and this is the only place that I know of to turn to. I will make this as short as possible and wont add much detail.
I have been poz for a little over 2 yrs now and have had a long distance relationship with someone that is also poz so making my status aware to others is something new to me. We decided not to put a  "title" on anything, so our door is open for relationships.
*Please note that I am educated on the transmission of HIV.*
A few months ago, I was involved with someone that I had known for almost a year and before ANYTHING took place I made him aware of my status, that included kissing. To my surprise, he was very understanding and I wont go into any details on what took place. But........
Now, what I am feeling guilty about is that I normally don't approach men to any degree but I  did with a man that I was very attracted to a few weeks ago. The feeling was mutual and we did go out and had a wonderful time just talking and hanging out. Towards the end of the night, more like after the sun came up we did some kissing and some fondling and WOW was out of this world, no sex though, I made a few excuses which were really good.  My problem is, unlike the last man, I did not inform him of my status. I just feel really guilty about not telling him before I began kissing him.  I know that we are planning on getting together again this weekend and I feel that I need to tell him but I am afraid that maybe I should have told him from the get go. Am I being stupid and overreacting? Guess I am just scared of what his reaction will be when I finally tell him. I feel that what I did was wrong because I wasn't upfront and forward with him so that he could decide whether he wanted to kiss me or not.
Can anyone help me feel at ease about this?
Hook em' Horns!

Offline Ann

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2007, 06:45:21 PM »
jae,

Considering that kissing is absolutely NOT a risk for hiv transmission, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You are under no obligation to disclose your status to every single person you kiss.

You DO have a right to take things slowly and find more out about the guy before you disclose. As far as not giving him a choice with the kissing thing, what's the difference when you never put him at risk for anything? It's a choice between not having a risk or... not having a risk.

Don't beat yourself up over this, hun.

Hugs,
Ann
xxx


Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline BT65

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2007, 08:29:00 PM »
I totally agree with Ann.  You don't need to disclose unless you two are going to actually have "intercourse."  Don't feel bad!  I know it's scarey to think about disclosing to this guy and what his reaction will be, but I trust that you will make the right decision.  You'll be able also to live with the results of that.  You know we're here for you! :-*
Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline jae3

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2007, 08:51:07 PM »
Thanks for the replies, it has made me feel somewhat better.

I guess I am just beating myself up over the fact of what might take place in the future and the possible question of why didn't you tell me before we did anything in the beginning. I just hope that you do understand why I feel this way.

Maybe I am trying to put myself in his place. It is true that I don't know him very well (we are still in the process of that) or that I have known him for that long. I am just so used to being honest and I feel like I am covering everything up.

Thanks for letting me vent!

Jae
Hook em' Horns!

Offline Ann

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #4 on: June 11, 2007, 03:58:52 AM »
jae,

He's only going to question why you kissed him without disclosure if he doesn't have a clue about how hiv is and is not transmitted. If he does ask this question, you've already got your answer - "because kissing isn't a risk for infection, therefore it was irrelevant at the time".

If he's a good guy, he's not going to make a big deal out of a kiss. If he freaks out, then he probably wasn't the guy for you anyway.

(And if he does freak out, send him to me over in Am I and I'll sort his butt out for you!) ;D

Hang in there hun, and please do keep us posted on how it goes. Fingers crossed for a GOOD outcome! :)

Hugs,
Ann
xxx
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline sweetasmeli

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #5 on: June 11, 2007, 04:17:52 AM »
Hi Jae
I totally agree with Ann and Betty that you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. NOTHING.

I guess I am just beating myself up over the fact of what might take place in the future and the possible question of why didn't you tell me before we did anything in the beginning. I just hope that you do understand why I feel this way.

Maybe I am trying to put myself in his place. It is true that I don't know him very well (we are still in the process of that) or that I have known him for that long. I am just so used to being honest and I feel like I am covering everything up.

However, the issues that you outline in the quoted section above is pretty much why I took the decision to be totally upfront and disclose from the offset with any potential friends and/or partners - to preempt/avoid such scenarios. I like to place all my cards on the table from the word go and let whoever make an informed decision whether they want to be involved or not. For me, it's not so much an issue of risk (as I know I would NEVER put anyone at risk, and neither have you) but it's more an issue of emotional investment.

With the knowledge that my HIV status can cause a myriad of responses from others, I also view my approach as separating the wheat from the chaff; if they can't handle my HIV status, that's their problem, not mine. Anyone who can't accept me for everything I am is not welcome in my life, whoever they may be.

But each to their own. That's just how I like to do things.

Hope it all works out for you.

Melia :)
/\___/\       /\__/\
(=' . '=)    (=' . '=)
(,,,_ ,,,)/   (,,,_ ,,,)/ Cats rule!

The difference between cats and dogs is that dogs come when called, whereas cats take a message and get back to you.

Yeia kai hara (health and happiness) to everyone!

Offline Ann

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #6 on: June 11, 2007, 04:49:37 AM »
Hmmm... maybe I'm focusing too much on the "risk" thingy here. (comes from spending too much time in Am I) ::)

The last time I was in a dating situation was about six months after I got my hep C diagnosis (a year and a half BEFORE I got my hiv diagnosis) I didn't disclose my hep C status the first few dates, because nothing we were doing put him at risk. Hep C is also not transmitted through casual contact or kissing.

It wasn't until I learned more about him - and thought the relationship might be moving in a more intimate direction - that I disclosed. Although hep C isn't generally sexually transmitted, especially from a woman to a man, I still felt he had the right to know before we got deeper into the relationship.

It was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to tell someone - well, until I was called in for an hiv test, but that's another story - but it went well. It helped that he's an intelligent man and not given to panic or flying off the handle. BUT - I took the time to suss this out before I told him. At that point in my life, I wasn't going to disclose to someone I might not even really be interested in. Guess what - he understood that completely. I told him upfront why I hadn't told him sooner and he said if he were in my shoes, he'd do the same.

The eighth anniversary of our first date will be in early August and we're still together. (and late August will be the eighth anniversary of our "disclosure date") I tested hiv positive eighteen months into the relationship and he stuck by me - and he's hiv negative despite the fact that we didn't use condoms for those eighteen months. (we do now!)

I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that if he is someone worth having, he'll understand why you didn't tell him sooner. I will say this though, when you do pick your moment to disclose, try and make it a neutral moment, not in the middle of a make-out session. It might also help to have something on-hand to give him to read. The transmission lesson here is printable.

As I said earlier, good luck hun, I hope he's a keeper. Let us know!

Hugs
Ann
xxx


PS - along with the Transmission Lesson, you might also want to read (and possibly print out for him) the Disclosure Lesson. I've linked you to the printable version of both.

Good luck!
« Last Edit: June 11, 2007, 05:38:41 AM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline ubotts

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #7 on: June 11, 2007, 12:32:38 PM »
 ;)
Live Love Laugh and dance like no ones watching.
Laughter is the best medicine, so try to have a laugh everyday..Even if your not feeling your best, think about something that was funny at one time in your life and work with it..   :o)

Offline ubotts

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #8 on: June 11, 2007, 12:34:47 PM »
 ???Sorry i lost the whole darn post..it was quite long too..geesh :(
Live Love Laugh and dance like no ones watching.
Laughter is the best medicine, so try to have a laugh everyday..Even if your not feeling your best, think about something that was funny at one time in your life and work with it..   :o)

Offline jae3

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #9 on: June 11, 2007, 06:47:19 PM »
I guess we live and learn by what we do and dont do, right?

As my heart is heavy, I do plan on disclosing Thursday night when we meet. I am not sure how I will do it but I will make sure that the timing is right and I am sure that a few tears will come along with it. I guess its because I am still trying to be comfortable in my own skin.

I know that we had a loooooooong conversation on the phone last night but I refuse to say anything because I feel that face to face is always better. I need to see the reaction. The only thing that threw me off last night was something that he did say but it had to do with his past and the whole making sure that someone was clean and using protection. There was more to it but it had to deal with the fact that he and his wife (who passed away 5 years ago) were into some swinging.  So, thats understandable but thank God he couldnt see the lump in my throat.

I do know from what he told me that he is "inlike" with me and the feeling is mutual.  I did make a few calls myself today, one that included my therapist and because he knows me well, the decision has been made.

Ann, I do plan on writing a letter just in case I cant make the whole conversation and because I know that I did not put him at risk I will just leave it at that.

I promise that with all of the help and support, I will repost after our meeting.

Thanks,

Jae
Hook em' Horns!

Offline sweetasmeli

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #10 on: June 12, 2007, 03:42:44 AM »
Jae, I wish you the best of luck and hope things go as you wish. However things pan out, it's a hugely courageous and important step you will be taking if you manage to disclose.

I think that rather than a letter, Ann was actually suggesting that you print out and have the following information from the lessons here ready to give him: http://www.aidsmeds.com/articles/Transmission_9969.shtml and http://www.aidsmeds.com/articles/Disclosure_7570.shtml.

However things go with him, you may at some point wish to point out to him that the use of the word 'clean' when describing someone's sexual status isn't complimentary at all. In the sense that if someone is negative = clean, then that suggests that someone who is positive = dirty. Just semantics I know, but still pertinent. 

Fingers crossed that it all goes well for you.

Melia
/\___/\       /\__/\
(=' . '=)    (=' . '=)
(,,,_ ,,,)/   (,,,_ ,,,)/ Cats rule!

The difference between cats and dogs is that dogs come when called, whereas cats take a message and get back to you.

Yeia kai hara (health and happiness) to everyone!

Offline jae3

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #11 on: June 15, 2007, 12:05:28 PM »
I thought I would post and let you know what happened last night with my meeting.

I will run it down really quick. Conversation was wonderful as usual and after being complimented on how beautiful and perfect I was so it was then I knew I had  to let him know that I try to be perfect on the outside to cover up what was on the inside.

So to make a long story short, I let him know my situation and come to find out, his wife died from complications of hiv. How crazy is that?

Needless to say, it lifted a huge weight off of our shoulders and the night ended perfectly.

I think we are on to something here.

Jae
Hook em' Horns!

Offline cjc

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #12 on: June 15, 2007, 04:02:19 PM »
Cool. I hope things work out well for you. We all deserve to be happy.  Cristy

Offline Ann

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #13 on: June 15, 2007, 07:04:56 PM »
Wow Jae, it's like you two were fated to end up together! You won't even have to go through all the transmission explanations or anything.

I've got my fingers crossed your relationship continues to blossom. You go girl! I'm really happy for you.

You've got to keep us posted!

Happy hugs,
Ann
xxx
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline sweetasmeli

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #14 on: June 16, 2007, 02:50:36 AM »
Wow indeed. I was just talking about you the other day with Ann wondering how your Thursday went. Well, what a bizarre twist in events. And bravo you for having the courage to broach The Conversation.

Also really happy for you Jae, and also crossing my fingers that things work out for you both.
Like Ann said, keep us posted!

Oh l'amour! :)

Melia x

/\___/\       /\__/\
(=' . '=)    (=' . '=)
(,,,_ ,,,)/   (,,,_ ,,,)/ Cats rule!

The difference between cats and dogs is that dogs come when called, whereas cats take a message and get back to you.

Yeia kai hara (health and happiness) to everyone!

Offline jae3

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #15 on: June 16, 2007, 07:59:29 AM »
I will definitely  keep you posted.

We talked yesterday and I know that we discussed his feelings of hesitation of having to relive all of this again but I had to reassure him that all situations are different.

I have also encouraged him to feel free to talk to me about his wife and everything that happened because he really hasnt talked to anyone about this.

He is neg, so thats a good thing and I know that she never told him until a yr after they were married.

I really hope that this goes where I know that it can.

Thanks guys!

Jae
Hook em' Horns!

Offline camille07

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #16 on: June 19, 2007, 08:19:53 PM »
Wow, please keep us posted. 

Offline tigger2376

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #17 on: June 19, 2007, 08:29:50 PM »
so nice to hear there are still some good guys out there! A friend of mine once said to me that I owe the virus nothing, but we owe it to ourselves to make sure it pays us just a little back for all we go through
You go girl
I hope the reason your'e not posting is that you are blissfully happy
don't ever feel guilty for the way you disclose or deal with hiv...its so personal, theres no rulebook
Please let us know how things go, happy things like this give us all hope
xxxx
I know i'm going to enjoy the party in the afterlife, but do you all mind that I'm going to be VERY late!!!

Offline IzPoz

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #18 on: June 19, 2007, 09:04:39 PM »
Jae,

Speaking from my own experience about being hesitant to repeat what I've already experienced, I can tell you that if you take things slow, and let nature take it's course, he will come to see that you are indeed special and well worth the time together.

I came to realize with my boyfriend that you can't help what fate has in mind for us. What's meant to be, will be.

Good luck, and have a lot of patience, which I'm sure you have already. Just know that if you approach the timid horse slowly, you will have less chance to frighten him off when you reach out to him.
The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly. ~ Chesterton G. K.

Offline jae3

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #19 on: June 23, 2007, 11:29:44 PM »
I apologize for not keeping you posted on what has been going on.

I started a new job this past week and I have worked 47 hrs in 5 days. I have been dead tired and really no room for getting online too much, not to mention, phone calls to the "new man."

We did, however, get together for lunch today. What you have to understand is that he lives about an hour and a half away from me and he works in a town about 35 minutes from me usually 4 days a week, so when I get the chance, I go see him. Today was the day!

Again, when laying eyes on him, my heart melted all over again. Then I just began living everything back in my head that we have talked about and have done. I could tell something was on his mind and he was a tad over nervous and so the conversation began. Come to find out, he has been in and out of a relationship for 2 years with someone that he is not happy with but doesnt want to break her heart. There is more to the story but I wont spill it all here because it wouldnt be right. Right now, I dont know what to think. I told him that I was glad he was honest with me and then I told him about the open relationship that I had as well.  We are so great together but we have some things to get through.

I honestly think that in due time, we will be together. I dont plan on kicking him to the curb because he has become a good friend.

Advice on this one?

Hook em' Horns!

Offline Ulong

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #20 on: June 25, 2007, 09:03:56 AM »
Quote
Advice on this one?

My first advice is to make sure you're taking care of yourself. I really was glad to see your follow up post, and feel good that you're here, but please don't feel guilty because it took you a while to get back. You have been one busy woman.

Isn't it amazing how relationships are so complicated? I guess when I was young I thought you just met the perfect "one" and settled down to live happily ever after. Now I realize it's about as tangled as a plate of spaghetti. I've started looking at romantic relationships in a different light. Looking back I can see how every one I've been in has been unique and has taught me new lessons about myself and life in general. I don't put as much pressure on things to be as perfect and "forever", and just try to enjoy what's going on right now. Maybe it puts less pressure on whoever I'm dating (or more often trying to date  ;D ) too, desperation is never pretty. And trust me, I've been desperate.

Quote
I honestly think that in due time, we will be together. I dont plan on kicking him to the curb because he has become a good friend.

Ahhh, you don't need my feeble advice, you're your own best advisor. Go with your instincts. I am impressed with reading back over this thread, how you've been thinking and working on your situation even when it's scary and not easy to know what to do. And hey... Hopefully you were attracted to him because of his good attributes as a person, in addition to his obvious hotness.  ;)  Even if you don't end up together, you will have another good person in your life. We can never have enough of those.

Offline nunii

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #21 on: June 26, 2007, 09:02:27 PM »

However, the issues that you outline in the quoted section above is pretty much why I took the decision to be totally upfront and disclose from the offset with any potential friends and/or partners - to preempt/avoid such scenarios. I like to place all my cards on the table from the word go and let whoever make an informed decision whether they want to be involved or not. For me, it's not so much an issue of risk (as I know I would NEVER put anyone at risk, and neither have you) but it's more an issue of emotional investment.


I agree it's not an issue of transmission its an issue of emotional investment
every 60 secs of anger are 60 secs lost of happiness

Offline jae3

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #22 on: June 28, 2007, 06:38:47 PM »
Last night, we met for dinner at this wonderful restaurant where the atmosphere was perfect.
We just sat and talked and we shared a lot of things about each other than shocked me.
He was very honest and upfront about his situation and I was thankful for that. I cant explain the honesty that I see in his eyes when he tells me that he with this other woman for the reasons that he is with her but he said that he is working on issues to get out of the relationship. Call me stupid but I believe him.
I ended up staying the night with him and the night couldn't have been more perfect. He told me that he has not felt this comfortable around another woman since his wife passed and that I could be "wifey" material for him.
I really wish that you guys could see the emotional bond that we have. I for one haven't felt like this in a long time. I know that in the end, things will be fine. Its just a matter of time and he needs someone who understands him and can deal with some of the stuff going on. I guess that I have grown so much as an independent woman over the years and I can handle this.
I just can't explain how happy he makes me and how easily I could fall in love with him. Its just unreal.
Ok, let me get off of cloud nine and I will continue to let you know how things are going.
Thanks for the ear.
jae
Hook em' Horns!

Offline jae3

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #23 on: June 28, 2007, 06:40:11 PM »
Sorry about the typos hopefully you understand what I am saying. LOL! My mind is not working right at this moment. Living off of 3 hrs of sleep and 10 hrs of work!
Hook em' Horns!

Offline tigger2376

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #24 on: July 02, 2007, 07:58:03 PM »
Whoo! wifey material! Thats so sweet! I wish you all the joy in the world, and make sure u tell him u got hundreds of women worldwide who'll kick his arse if he doesnt treat u right! ;D
Seriously honey, try and take care of yourself, not work too hard, and keep on enjoying things in the here and now
Keep us posted, u lucky so and so :D
J
x
I know i'm going to enjoy the party in the afterlife, but do you all mind that I'm going to be VERY late!!!

Offline englishgirl

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #25 on: July 03, 2007, 04:00:29 PM »
update please!!  ;D
xxx
ACT NOW TO CAMPAIGN AGAINST THE TRAVEL BAN:
http://campaigning.tht.org.uk/cms/cmsloader?WfJVLp&view=11,301,1385,0,-html

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=17352.0


"I'm not keen on the idea of the afterlife - not without knowing who else will be there and what the entertainment will be. Personally I'd rather just take a rest." Oscar Berger, PWA: Looking AIDS in the Face, 1996. RIP.

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #26 on: July 04, 2007, 12:05:51 AM »
I know!  UPDATE UPDATE!!!!  We are all wondering how much fun you're not telling us about?  LOL
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline nunii

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Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #27 on: July 05, 2007, 01:34:13 PM »
Just finished reading "All I Ever Did Was Love a Man" by Sharon Denise Allison-Ottey, and may I say that I felt she was writting my story, the great conversation, feeling safe, being in a relationship that HE was ending, believing he really loved me...

If I sound Jaded I am, If I sound doubtful I am, from your post it seems you guys are moving really fast and you are not being logical but whimsical,  Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, protect your heart, soul and mind you deserve to be loved and starting a new relationship without finishing another is not a good sign be it a man or woman, too many variables and too many opportunities for YOU to get HURT
every 60 secs of anger are 60 secs lost of happiness

Offline jae3

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  • Posts: 26
Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #28 on: August 04, 2007, 12:37:13 PM »
I am sorry for not posting any sooner. Work has been absolutely hectic and by the time I get home, I go to bed and get up at 4am to do it all over again.

Well, I hate to disappoint everyone but here is my latest update.....

The one that I thought was so caring, perfect and understanding turned out to be a dud!

Our last dinner date together was the last time we have seen each other. I called him about 2 weeks ago and was told that he was not pushing me off but come on! I have not heard from him since.

So, I have decided to leave him alone and I have not called him since then and I have no intentions on doing so. I will just take it with a grain of salt and use it as a learning experience. Obviously, what he was saying to me at the time must have felt right to him or else it was just lip service but he does have another and she comes first.

I am not angry or hurt, just disappointed in him that he couldn't come out and just say that all he wanted was a piece of ass, so to speak.

I look at it like this, its his loss and if he wants to be in a miserable relationship with someone else, so be it. Its his call, his life and again, his loss. There will be someone out there that will appreciate me for me and its ok.

I really appreciate everyone here that has commented on my post it has meant a lot to me.

Have a good one,

Jae
Hook em' Horns!

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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  • Posts: 1,918
  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #29 on: August 04, 2007, 02:35:52 PM »
Hi jae~

Sorry about the turn of events, or lack thereof, for you.  I know how empty it can feel, after you think you might actually be connecting with someone, only to find that it doesn't come to fruition for whatever the reason. 

Perhaps you should jump over to the dating thread where we have all been bitching, journaling, sharing.....We'd love to have you there.  Hang in there, and keep moving forward!

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=14375.0

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: feeling guilty..... need advice
« Reply #30 on: August 04, 2007, 07:01:39 PM »
For now, all I can say is Wow...Bummer...More later....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

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