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afraid to tell anyone

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For one thing, I am glad that this forum exists. I am afraid to tell anyone that I am Poz. I know 4 other people who is positive but I refuse to tell anyone. I don't want the pity look that I know I will receive. I don't want everyone constantly calling me because they think that I will soon die. I Know this will happen because 7 yrs ago I had colon cancer and I barely could get through a week without a friend calling me crying over the phone. My house is a hub for all children and I don't want it to be any different because I have a grandchild living with me and children in group homes that are constantly here and I don't want them affected because of me. I do wish for a positive friend just to talk to. So I am very happy this forum exists although I don't have a lot of time to get on the computer. Is anyone going through the same thing or is everyone talking?

Please don't get me wrong, I appreciate what everyone has done for me. I just don't think I could go through all the sadness again without heading straight into depression since I'm not too far from it now. I need upbeat positive people that will keep me going.

Queen Tokelove:

First, let me say WELCOME to the Forums. It is a good place to chat with people who shares the same virus and to give support when needed. I can understand you not wanting to disclose. But are you a foster parent? You said your house is a hub for children. I am wondering that if this is the case, wouldn't you have to disclose to the agency that is placing the children with you? Also, how long have you been poz? If you don't mind me asking..

Personally, I have had bad experiences with disclosing which now makes it hard for me to be honest. My family knows and a few friends. But please don't go by my experiences. Plenty of people here have had no problems with disclosure. In the end, it is your decision to make. Wishing you the best...

Hi Pam,
I understand how you feel.  I've only disclosed to my parents, brothers, and husband.  My in-laws don't even know.  My closest girlfriends don't know.  When I first found out (Dec. 2005), I thought I wanted to tell my friends, but after some time, I realized that I truly didn't.  I don't anyone around worrying constantly about me.  That affects me and I am a very strong believer of body-mind connection.  This forum has been God sent.  I'm glad you have joined us and I think, over time too, you will feel a lot better, knowing that you have a place to talk.

Hi Queen Akasha and Catwoman
I've been positive since 1997. I am not a foster parent but since my neice and nephew are in Dss care, they will allow me to keep them most anytime I want up to 72 hours. All neices and nephews have lived here at one time or another. All grands stay for a period of time. The neighbors children are also welcomed anytime. All family gatherings are also here. I am also a strong person and prefer no pity party.                                 SMILE

Hi Pam,
Disclosure is a very personal thing. If you do it, when you it, should be on your terms. For many years, only my husband knew. Then I disclosed to my Mom and brother, then last year to a few close friends.

I am glad you found us. Your home sounds lovely and welcoming.



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