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Author Topic: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond  (Read 3526 times)

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Offline Andy Velez

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Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« on: May 28, 2007, 10:24:10 AM »
Belief has posted a thread in the Women's section about the death of her husband. Some men have wanted to respond. Since a guy writing in the women's section is against AM rules, I thought I'd begin this thread for anyone who reads her thread and wants to say something. I'm sure she will appreciate any support.
Andy Velez

Offline bear60

  • Member
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Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #1 on: May 28, 2007, 10:49:16 AM »
I am sorry to hear of your loss.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Robert

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Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #2 on: May 28, 2007, 11:09:23 AM »
belief......

I am so, so sorry.  This is just so sad.  My deepest sympathies.

robert
..........

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
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Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #3 on: May 28, 2007, 11:24:50 AM »
Hug for strength during this deeply emotional time

Alex

Dan J.

  • Guest
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #4 on: May 28, 2007, 12:03:33 PM »
My deepest condolences to you and your family during this difficult time.

Dan

Offline belief

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  • Posts: 72
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #5 on: May 28, 2007, 12:12:26 PM »
hi everyone,

thank you all for your kindness over this difficult time.  i can't even begin to explain where my heart is at right now.  my husband is gone, my son's father is gone.  i am in such disbelief...there are no words.  as some of you may know, my husband and i were in the midst of a divorce.  our lives have been turned upside down over the past couple of months with all of the changes and challenges we faced together and separately...my husband just could not cope with the loneliness and depression those challenges brought to him.  on the 20th of may, he took his life.  he was laid to rest on my birthday - the 25th of may. 

there are so many things i am feeling...anger, hurt, sadness, guilt...and anger again.  i wish i would have done things differently in life, and differently for him.  he could still be here, he could still watch his son grow to be a man. 

i am now presented with new challenges - raising my son on my own.  i'm not sure how i will do this...but i will.  again, thank you for your support.
5/07 - viral load: 28,890  CD4: 514 
8/07 - viral load: 38,710  CD4: 451
9/07 - viral load: 47,000  CD4: 467
11/07 - viral load: 17,600 CD4: 421

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #6 on: May 28, 2007, 12:21:42 PM »
My condolences to you and your family, Belief.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline Iggy

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Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #7 on: May 28, 2007, 12:53:49 PM »
Belief,

Awkwardness wants me to just avoid this thread as I can't begin to think of what I can say.

I am so sorry that you are going through this and I will keep you in my thoughts.

Iggy

Offline Longislander

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Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #8 on: May 28, 2007, 02:23:16 PM »
Belief, my heart goes out to you and your son. I'm very sorry.

Paul
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline SoSadTooBad

  • Member
  • Posts: 248
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #9 on: May 28, 2007, 02:44:26 PM »
Belief - so sorry that things have gone in this direction.  Many good thoughts of peace and support to you.  PM me if there is anything I can do.

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #10 on: May 28, 2007, 03:33:18 PM »
You have my condolences. And I will keep you and your son in my prayers.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Alain

  • Member
  • Posts: 680
  • I am.
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #11 on: May 28, 2007, 03:51:32 PM »
Belief,

I am so sorry for your loss.

With fondest thoughts.

Alain.

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,398
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #12 on: May 28, 2007, 03:55:14 PM »
Belief,

My heart goes out to you and your son. You will both be in my thoughts.

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Jody

  • Member
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Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #13 on: May 28, 2007, 04:02:37 PM »
Dear belief...My condolences to you and your son and loved ones in this most difficult time.

Jody :( 
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Ninja Please
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #14 on: May 28, 2007, 04:34:34 PM »
Belief,

Matty the Damned offers his condolences to you and your family during this terrible time.

Fondly,

MtD

Offline Basquo

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #15 on: May 28, 2007, 06:28:06 PM »
I'm very sorry for your loss.

Best,
Creighton

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #16 on: May 28, 2007, 08:28:29 PM »
Belief,  I am so sorry for your loss.   Please suround yourself with loved ones during this time.   

Love & Peace,


Eric

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #17 on: May 28, 2007, 09:38:26 PM »
Sorry for you and your son's loss, Belief.

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,939
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #18 on: May 28, 2007, 09:59:18 PM »
Hi Andy

Thanks for puttig this into the "Living" forum.

Although I was the one who reminded Bob that it was the "Ladies" only forum he posted in I knew he meant well and wanted to give his support, and I knew other guys here would want to do the same and support a member of our AM family...I just never thought about putting up a thread here for Belief, so thanks again.

Hugs to you all
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline joemutt

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,042
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #19 on: May 29, 2007, 12:52:38 AM »
My sincere condolences to you and your son,
I will keep you in my thoughts. Joe

Offline joyluckclub

  • Member
  • Posts: 136
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #20 on: May 29, 2007, 01:00:04 AM »
Belief,

You, your son, and your family are in my prayers.
"Honey, be who you is"  Madea.........

Offline StrongGuy

  • Member
  • Posts: 492
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #21 on: May 29, 2007, 03:08:13 AM »
So very sorry for your loss...

Mike
"Get your medical advice from Doctors or medical professionals who you trust and know your history."

"Beware of the fortune teller doom and gloomers who seek to bring you down and are only looking for company, purpose and validation - not your best physical/mental interests."

"You know you all are saying that this is incurable. When the real thing you should be saying is it's not curable at the present time' because as we know, the great strides we've made in medicine." - Elizabeth Edwards

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • Posts: 24,104
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #22 on: May 29, 2007, 03:22:38 AM »
Belief:  so sorry for your loss and hope that you and your son will fare well on your own.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline milker

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  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #23 on: May 29, 2007, 08:08:02 AM »
Sorry for your loss and the difficult times you are going through.

You and your son are in my thoughts,

M.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjasô

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,161
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #24 on: May 29, 2007, 08:34:18 AM »
Dear Belief,

My deepest heartfelt condolences go out to you during this difficult time.


Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 8/2514,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 62 years young.

Offline LT

  • Member
  • Posts: 56
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #25 on: May 29, 2007, 08:44:40 AM »
It is always so difficult to find any words strong enough to express sympathy for the loss of a loved one.  All of our thoughts are with you.

Depression is a nasty beast.  I know, because I've battled it, and thoughts of suicide most of my life.  Every time the road of life offers a little bump, a fleeting thought of ending it all enter my head.  Some days it is something as small as missing a buss that is the trigger.  Other times it takes a more serious thing like the loss of a job, pet or friend to make me consider it.  On the bleakest days, it sometimes seems like the only option I can see.

When one of these spells hit, I try to remember something I read in a job search/resume writing book.  Because being fired often triggers thoughts of suicide, it suggested to wait.  It is always something you can do another time.  Sleep on it, and tomorrow just might be a little brighter.

And of course every day has another night to sleep on it, and another tomorrow that might be brighter.

I wish I could have offered that advise to your husband.  That, and my experiences with anti-depressants, and counseling, and some tricks to knock notion out of my head.

I guess my only comfort to you is this:  Don't blame yourself.  It was nothing you did, and there was nothing your could have done to prevent it.  It was his thoughts, his his fears, his tunnel vision of a bleak future.  Ultimately it was his decision, and his decision alone.

I know this hasn't been the most positive and uplifting of a post.  My thoughts are not meant to be insensitive, or to shock, or offend.  I hope it is taken in the spirit it is offered.
« Last Edit: May 29, 2007, 09:58:47 AM by LT »

Offline SASA39

  • Member
  • Posts: 690
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #26 on: May 29, 2007, 09:32:54 AM »
  I can't even begin to explain where my heart is at right now.  my husband is gone, my son's father is gone.  i am in such disbelief...there are no words.  ...my husband just could not cope with the loneliness and depression those challenges brought to him.  on the 20th of may, he took his life.  he was laid to rest on my birthday - the 25th of may. 

there are so many things i am feeling...anger, hurt, sadness, guilt...and anger again.  i wish i would have done things differently in life, and differently for him.  he could still be here, he could still watch his son grow to be a man. 

i am now presented with new challenges - raising my son on my own.  i'm not sure how i will do this...but i will.  again, thank you for your support.

I`m stunned by your sincere thoughts .
Why ?
Because I feel ashamed reading your post.
Because my wife is feeling some similar emotions ,  anger , hurt , sadness ............and she said to me once that she could do some things different too............
Belief , you must forgive him ,....................in that way you can forgive yourself too , for the things that you are not guilty of , but a person could not run from a presumption like that.........." Maybe if I have done something differently , he will be still here "................
Maybe he was trying to save you two from a bigger troubles in a future.......
Maybe he thought that if he is gone , a reason for a trouble would gone with him also........and that he would save you in a longer run.............in a few years your son would be a grown up man , you can relocate into a another city and this time of sadness will never be forget , but it will be abatement in a way , maybe..........
He will be always a father to your son..................
Please remember him as a picture of joy and happyness , and not as a person that he might be at his end...................
I`m sure that he would like to be remembered that way..............
                                        Al
« Last Edit: May 29, 2007, 09:48:33 AM by SASA39 »
Oct.     `06.  CD4=58  ?    %       VL not perform. ?!?
25.Dec.`06.         203       14        VL= 0
29.May.`07.    broken device        VL=1363
20.June`07     broken device        VL=0
25.Dec `07  CD4=582                  VL=70
14.May `08  CD4=448
29.July `08                                  VL=0
26.Nov `08  CD4=674                    VL=179
16.Mar `09  CD4=554                    VL=0
19.Jan`10 CD4=715               
03.Mar`10                                    VL=0
24.Aug`10 CD4=524                     VL=0
04.Dec`10 CD4=626                     VL=0
15.Sep`11                                   VL=93
17.Nov`11                                   VL=0
05/26 .Jul`12 CD4=713                 VL=0
28.Nov`12 CD4=916                     VL=0
09.May`13                                 VL=0

Offline carousel

  • Member
  • Posts: 821
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #27 on: May 29, 2007, 10:44:41 AM »
Belief

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss.

My condolences to you and your son.

Very best wishes
Charles

Offline AlanBama

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  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond
« Reply #28 on: May 29, 2007, 11:54:06 AM »
Deepest sympathy on your loss...

Alan   :'(
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

 


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