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Author Topic: Lots of Anniversaries Lately...  (Read 1814 times)

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Offline Basquo

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,277
Lots of Anniversaries Lately...
« on: May 23, 2007, 09:14:27 PM »
And this weekend is the 7th anniversary of my diagnosis.  

After surgery, and the resulting pathology report, and a panic-driven jaunt to my doctor (his office was less than 500 feet from my office) he called me on the Friday before Memorial Day to tell me that the ELISA test had come back positive, so it would go on for the Western Blot test, and “so that’s where we are.”

I had been keeping it all balled up inside me, but that day I had to go home and sit down with my lover and explain what the situation was. I don’t want to go into everything but I’ll just say that in two years I went from blaming myself, and thinking I infected him, to realizing that he infected me and it was his history, not mine, that played the biggest part in my infection.

The strange thing is, I’m not mad at him for infecting me, I’m mad at him for continuing to be a floozy while he was supposedly “committed” to me. I know I drove him crazy with my drinking and drugging, but he could have let me know a lot sooner.  He was fine with me doing it in front of him for a couple of years, then he started avoiding me (going to the bathhouse and not coming home until wee hours.)  I am mad at him for being an airhead—when we had the HIV conversation at the beginning of the relationship, he said he had been tested shortly before we started dating, but when I was diagnosed he confessed that he really didn’t know the last time he had been tested.  Book-smart, he is, being a grade-school teacher with a master's degree that he obviously got by paying for it. As a binge drinker, I’m sure he had plenty of opportunities to get infected long before I met him.

There’s more, so much more, but I’ll sum up and say that in spite of the hurt to me, and my family and friends, I wouldn’t change a thing.  If I hadn’t loved him and lived with him, I would be in a totally different place today. Probably still stuck in retail management, and miserable, and not having many of the friends I have now—including all of you.

And I just want to say how much I love my boss; she’s been with me through all of this, and knows my flaws and limitations and idiosyncrasies, yet still gives me the rank of “Innovator” at my annual review—something I know by history she is loathe to give.  I covered for her when she had cancer, and she’s got my back every day that I live with this disease.

Best, and Love, to you all,
Creighton
« Last Edit: May 23, 2007, 09:16:10 PM by Basquo »

Offline Jody

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,843
Re: Lots of Anniversaries Lately...
« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2007, 09:22:00 PM »
Dear Creighton...Naturally I can't say happy anniversary but in retrospect you have not only adjusted well, you have taken lemons and made lemonade.  Keep on truckin' my friend.

Jody
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: Lots of Anniversaries Lately...
« Reply #2 on: May 23, 2007, 09:32:57 PM »
Creighton,  Happy Anniversary... Memory lane can be fun to travel down if you have found some of the meanings that lane has given you....  The path I drew in the sand as a teenager thinking all of the goals and dreams that I would attain were a bit lofty..   I took a wide birth around hiv/aids early on and POW, here we are.. Go figure.   I am so happy Creighton that you have found peace and gratitude in your life.   I am sure it took a bit to get here....  But that's why time was built....

I hope your Anniversary weekend is going to be BRIGHT, SUNNY & WARM!

Eric
(who has been watching it snow for two fucking days)

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,647
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: Lots of Anniversaries Lately...
« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2007, 10:40:19 PM »
Big ((HUG)) for you on your anniversary sweetie.....

Love,

Alan   :-*
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline LatinAlexander

  • Member
  • Posts: 599
  • Bogota, Colombia
Re: Lots of Anniversaries Lately...
« Reply #4 on: May 24, 2007, 08:11:21 AM »
QUEER HUG!

Alex

(who thinks you are sexy)
Poz since Jul 19 2006
Initial numbers : CD4-250 VL 3500
First labs after HAART (Dec 04-2006) : CD4-432 VL-<40 (Undetectable)  cd4%=25.11%
Started HAART: Combivir+Efavirenz Aug 26 7:38 pm
Feb 08 2007 - Gradually stopping HAART cause of Myalgia. Protecting Efavirenz. Stopped Efavirenz, ahead with Combivir....
February 17 Combivir stopped.
April 3 -07 : Started ddi+3tc+efavirenz...
Gay and positive (What a lack of Identity...:) )
Looking for my Ben....

Offline Cliff

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,645
Re: Lots of Anniversaries Lately...
« Reply #5 on: May 28, 2007, 06:43:14 AM »
There’s more, so much more, but I’ll sum up and say that in spite of the hurt to me, and my family and friends, I wouldn’t change a thing.  If I hadn’t loved him and lived with him, I would be in a totally different place today.

Creighton,

Nice one, especially these two sentences.  I agree, despite all that has happened to me, I wouldn't change a thing.  It seems silly saying it, but while I may have lost some things because of HIV, I've gained so much more.  Not that I needed HIV to get them, just that I'm glad I can finally see that things aren't all that bad.

Happy Anniversary and I hope for many more.

Cliff

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,354
Re: Lots of Anniversaries Lately...
« Reply #6 on: May 29, 2007, 04:43:49 PM »
Creighton, you're a rich man in all the important ways.

The lifeforce is alive and well within you and it shows today and always!

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline Basquo

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,277
Re: Lots of Anniversaries Lately...
« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2007, 09:06:31 PM »
Well I got through the anniversary okay...actually didn't even think about it after Friday.  Some of my favorite people responded here, and I send hugs back to all of you! You guys are great.

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: Lots of Anniversaries Lately...
« Reply #8 on: May 31, 2007, 08:27:50 PM »
There’s more, so much more, but I’ll sum up and say that in spite of the hurt to me, and my family and friends, I wouldn’t change a thing.  If I hadn’t loved him and lived with him, I would be in a totally different place today. Probably still stuck in retail management, and miserable, and not having many of the friends I have now—including all of you.

Y'know, silver linings are great things honey. {Great big hug}

 


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