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Author Topic: Disclosure questions.. again...  (Read 14305 times)

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Offline milker

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  • Protected phone sex
Disclosure questions.. again...
« on: May 22, 2007, 09:16:22 PM »
Do you disclose if you know you are going to have protected sex?

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Sdgirl

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2007, 09:21:21 PM »
Disclosure is a personal choice.

For me, regardless of the situation, I would ALWAYS disclose.  I couldn't live with myself otherwise.

But that's my personal choice.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves.."Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?"

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2007, 09:22:03 PM »
here we go again  :-* lol.....

Legally in most states you HAVE to disclose no matter what sexual activity you are engaging in.....

Morally i guess that depends....

So far ive always disclosed before any sexual encounter where im recieving oral or anal (a few times ive given oral without disclosing)...based on the risk factor i dont really feel obligated to disclose for oral sex but i do it because i live on a small island and i dont want everyone pissed off at me...so i choose to disclose (so far anyways)

-josh
(who finally got back from his vacation)

Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2007, 09:25:15 PM »
It depends. If I know and like the person, then they already know I have the queer plague so disclosure is irrelevant.

If he's just some nameless piece of meat from a sex joint or a pub then I don't worry. He's not worth the effort.

MtD

Offline romanticcuddler

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    • Who's Positive
Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2007, 10:09:30 PM »
i guess for me the first thing I think about is this idea that people aren't responsible for their own behaviors.  I mean with me, the guy who infected me knew he was positive, and at times that really pisses me off... BUT... wait, isn't this my life, shouldn't I have been responsible enough to protect myself and think about my own well being?

I know this theory doesn't apply to all situations, but in general I am split on this in some aspects, for me I disclose,  hell I don't care what people think, BUT... for others, its not as simple as risking the rumors the disconnect from family and friends, so I see both sides of this...

Sometimes I get would you tell a medical person EMT things like that - again i probably would, but if EVERYONE lived by universal precautions there would be no reason (other then to think that maybe the issue was HIV related) to tell anyone - as far as risk.  I hope that makes sense.

Offline milker

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2007, 11:23:30 PM »
i guess for me the first thing I think about is this idea that people aren't responsible for their own behaviors.  I mean with me, the guy who infected me knew he was positive, and at times that really pisses me off... BUT... wait, isn't this my life, shouldn't I have been responsible enough to protect myself and think about my own well being?

I know this theory doesn't apply to all situations, but in general I am split on this in some aspects, for me I disclose,  hell I don't care what people think, BUT... for others, its not as simple as risking the rumors the disconnect from family and friends, so I see both sides of this...

Sometimes I get would you tell a medical person EMT things like that - again i probably would, but if EVERYONE lived by universal precautions there would be no reason (other then to think that maybe the issue was HIV related) to tell anyone - as far as risk.  I hope that makes sense.

No I'm asking if it is protected, he fucks me with a condom, I suck him, he doesn't suck me I don't fuck him. I think Matty's answer is what I'm thinking about too..

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Teresa

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #6 on: May 23, 2007, 12:02:02 AM »
I have a question. Just curious..
If you dont disclose and you are having protected vaginal/anal sex and the condom breaks. What do you say or do?

Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline milker

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #7 on: May 23, 2007, 12:10:06 AM »
Yup Teresa, that's THE main problem I have. Should I "play" on statistics, I've had only 2 condoms break as a bottom in my 20 years of bottoming. But yes, Teresa, that IS the main question in my mind.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline otherplaces

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  • Posts: 398
  • Mutant Super Hero
Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #8 on: May 23, 2007, 12:24:42 AM »
My thoughts...

Whether you like it or not, and even if they don't deserve the consideration, it is their right to make an informed decision.  We don't look out for our fellow human beings enough and it makes for a crappy world.  Low risk is not no risk, and fear of rejection is just that...fear.

best,
brian


Offline sweetasmeli

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #9 on: May 23, 2007, 01:41:43 AM »
It's a personal choice. Many see there is no need and I can see why.

However - if the time for me to have sex should ever arise again in this lifetime (waaahhh!) - I personally would. For the very reason that Teresa pointed out. I would rather disclose and face rejection and no nookie (Thanks Matty! :-* Was struggling for a synonym for sex...its been so long! :() than not disclose, have nookie and a condom break (which they can and do occasionally) and then be faced with the icky job of having to tell all.

Plus, if they know all beforehand, they can make a fully informed decision.
Just my approach and how I would have liked and would like to be treated too. Even with condoms.

Melia
/\___/\       /\__/\
(=' . '=)    (=' . '=)
(,,,_ ,,,)/   (,,,_ ,,,)/ Cats rule!

The difference between cats and dogs is that dogs come when called, whereas cats take a message and get back to you.

Yeia kai hara (health and happiness) to everyone!

Offline giorgio76

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  • Posts: 9
Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #10 on: May 23, 2007, 02:53:02 AM »
No... if it's ONLY a sex session and nothing more, i don't. I will be VERY VERY careful. Let's face the truth... u meet someone... and at the same night u are going to have sex with him... do u have the courage to say... " I am hiv+" . I haven't!
I prefer to make him think that i am hypocondriac with protection ( by putting condoms even for a blowjob).

And u know something? Personally, i don't know who passed me the virus... and really i don't hate him whoever is he.  As a gay and sexual active human i had always on my mind the fear of hiv... and everyone should have it.

Offline beefbud

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  • just some flesh caught in this big broken machine"
    • cubster dot com
Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #11 on: May 23, 2007, 03:26:10 AM »
Well in the state of GA you can go be prosecuted and go to jail if you don't disclose you are hiv+ for any sexual activity.  I disclose before the encounter happens....its their choice to make, i don't care how minimal the risk is. 
"first impressions are cheap auditions"

Offline SASA39

  • Member
  • Posts: 690
Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #12 on: May 23, 2007, 04:51:17 AM »
If he's just some nameless piece of meat from a sex joint or a pub then I don't worry. He's not worth the effort.
MtD

 ??? , ...............I mean it is OK when you do not have a sex with him , but what if you do ? And he is negative ?
Sorry I`ve had to ask this ........................
                                       Al
« Last Edit: May 23, 2007, 06:57:24 AM by SASA39 »
Oct.     `06.  CD4=58  ?    %       VL not perform. ?!?
25.Dec.`06.         203       14        VL= 0
29.May.`07.    broken device        VL=1363
20.June`07     broken device        VL=0
25.Dec `07  CD4=582                  VL=70
14.May `08  CD4=448
29.July `08                                  VL=0
26.Nov `08  CD4=674                    VL=179
16.Mar `09  CD4=554                    VL=0
19.Jan`10 CD4=715               
03.Mar`10                                    VL=0
24.Aug`10 CD4=524                     VL=0
04.Dec`10 CD4=626                     VL=0
15.Sep`11                                   VL=93
17.Nov`11                                   VL=0
05/26 .Jul`12 CD4=713                 VL=0
28.Nov`12 CD4=916                     VL=0
09.May`13                                 VL=0

Offline cubbybear

  • Member
  • Posts: 510
  • Joined August 2005.
Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #13 on: May 23, 2007, 05:55:57 AM »
I disclose if they ask me outright, or if I know and like them.  If they are an anonymous pick up, as long as its totally safe, then no I don't disclose... they aren't gonna get it from me, so I don't see the need and I don't want every anonymous Tom, Dick or Harry to know my business just so they can tell everyone else.
There's a bear in there!
Positive since 2000
Diagnosed 17/9/2005 CD4 35 VL 293,000
Meds 23/9/2005 Sustiva/Truvada
Currently CD4 232 VL Undetectable

Offline Central79

  • Member
  • Posts: 527
Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #14 on: May 23, 2007, 07:38:31 AM »
The legal picture in the UK is changing - at the moment it doesn't seem to require disclosure if you have protected sex. There have been convictions for people who know they have HIV and have unprotected sex. No brainer really.

I think morally I think HIV+ people should always disclose. There is no such thing as safe sex - only safer sex, and both participants need to know this piece of information and be mindful of it in order to minimise the risk of transmission. Nobody is a "nameless piece of meat", and if you can't make the effort to disclose, why make the effort to have sex? I'm not prepared to see myself as just a nameless cock or hole, and disclosure is part of me being a person, making the right choices for myself and for others. If that means I get laid less, or have to think more carefully about who I fuck then so be it - I wish I had before infection.

From a purely selfish PoV I know what it is like to get rejected for being HIV+. I have experienced the rumour mill and I know it isn't nice. I have been tempted not to disclose as a result, but I think that once you give in to that fear then you never, ever go back to the way it was before. I refuse to give in to fear - if other people are scared of my status, then that is their fear, not mine. In fact, thinking about it, I'd rather be rejected for my HIV status than anything else.

Just my 2 pence,

Matt.



Diagnosed January 2006
26/1/06 - 860 (22%), VL > 500,000
24/4/06 - 820 (24.6%), VL 158,000
13/7/06 - 840 (22%), VL 268,000
1/11/06 - 680 (21%), VL 93,100
29/1/07 - 1,020 (27.5%), VL 46,500
15/5/07 - 1,140 (22.8%), VL not done.
13/10/07 - 759 (23.2%), VL 170,000
6/11/07 - 630 (25%), VL 19,324
14/1/08 - 650 (21%), VL 16,192
15/4/08 - 590 (21%), VL 40, 832

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #15 on: May 23, 2007, 07:46:58 AM »
I have a question. Just curious..
If you dont disclose and you are having protected vaginal/anal sex and the condom breaks. What do you say or do?

Teresa

A correctly used condom rarely breaks, and I mean rarely! I've NEVER had one break because I always make sure they're being used properly and within the use-by date.

Check out the three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can avoid breakages too. ;)

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #16 on: May 23, 2007, 08:28:13 AM »
Matty the Damned has long felt that we need to do away with the tedious shibboleth that disclosure in some way protects people from contracting HIV. It's a cop out and quite frankly when I hear gay men opine in sanctimonious tones about how they always disclose because that's decent folk do, I roll my bloodshot eyes.

For other groups, I don't presume to speak. I'm not familiar with their sexual moires.

For the record failure to disclose is a criminal offence in New South Wales which carries heavy fines and the potential for gaol time and it's a stupid law drafted by and for stupid people and Matty the Damned sneers at it.

And yes, I do consider the drunken, drugged out affairs I pick up in sleazy bars and darkened sex joints to be nameless pieces of meat, just as they see me in a similar light. I don't frequent these places with a view to finding the love of my life.

A pulse and a hole are really my only requirements.

Rather than waste good fucking time by conducting an impromptu symposium on HIV with these humps, I just tell them whatever they want to hear and if I'm not convinced they're positive I use a condom.

And, despite the earnest claims to moral superiority from some of you I don't believe for a single moment that any of the other gay guys who've commented in this thread are any different.

Because as every faggot worth his jungle juice knows, a standing cock has no conscience.

Like many discerning gay men of a certain age, I maintain a circle of fuck buddies. Positive chaps like myself who are strongly bonded to one another and express that bond through sexual intimacy. In these circumstances it's bareback all the way, because it's about sex with an emotional meaning and value and an absence of barriers; be they latex or socially constructed.

So to buggery with morality and moronic laws. Disclosure be fucked.

MtD

/edited for the smallest of typos/
« Last Edit: May 23, 2007, 08:48:48 AM by matty.the.damned »

Offline giorgio76

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #17 on: May 23, 2007, 08:45:58 AM »
 :o :o :o :o :o :o ;)

Offline milker

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #18 on: May 23, 2007, 09:12:26 AM »
It is clear that I do already disclose if the question is asked. If it's just a pick up in a bar or online, and the question is not asked, and it is protected, and i'm the bottom, then the partner has that very rare risk of having the condom break. If that had to happen, I would say i'm HIV+, but that I did everything I could to make the sex safer, and that if there was any concern, he could have asked too. After all, he may be positive and not tell me either. Imagine that. Condom breaks, then both of us say "i'm hiv+"  :o I also ask the person to bring condoms, so it is clear that I am asking for safer sex. I guess it never came to my mind to ask if someone was HIV+ when I had the person ask me to wear a condom... I only asked before unprotected sex (and sometimes I forgot to ask..)

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline woodshere

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,477
  • ain't no shame in my game
Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #19 on: May 23, 2007, 09:15:45 AM »
And yes, I do consider the drunken, drugged out affairs I pick up in sleazy bars and darkened sex joints to be nameless pieces of meat, just as they see me in a similar light. I don't frequent these places with a view to finding the love of my life.

A pulse and a hole are really my only requirements.

Rather than waste good fucking time by conducting an impromptu symposium on HIV with these humps, I just tell them whatever they want to hear and if I'm not convinced they're positive I use a condom.

And, despite the earnest claims to moral superiority from some of you I don't believe for a single moment that any of the other gay guys who've commented in this thread are any different.

Because as every faggot worth his jungle juice knows, a standing cock has no conscience.
/

While perhaps more blunt and direct than how I would phrase it, I have to agree with MTD.
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline keyite

  • Member
  • Posts: 514
Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #20 on: May 23, 2007, 10:08:15 AM »
I don't believe in legislating to force disclosure when sex is protected - more than anything, because I think it's counter-productive from a public health perspective. Nonetheless, I personally disclose even if it is protected, with the only possible exception being silent 'sex on the premises' type encounters, e.g. saunas, backrooms, etc.

It is indeed a moral question, but it's also a practical one. Quite frankly, I can do without all the worry about condom breaking, it being 'safe enough', and so on. Sharing that responsibility is just so much easier. More fundamentally it is about being able to look at yourself in the mirror the next day. Denying something as important as your seropositive status isn't just about what you take away from others, i.e. disclosure and their ability to make informed choices, but just as much what it takes away from yourself, i.e. self respect.

So yes, this gay man begs to differ from Matty's sweeping generalisations. Roll your eyes all you like but do us a favour and stick to speaking for yourself.

Offline SASA39

  • Member
  • Posts: 690
Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #21 on: May 23, 2007, 10:28:26 AM »
And yes, I do consider the drunken, drugged out affairs I pick up in sleazy bars and darkened sex joints to be nameless pieces of meat, just as they see me in a similar light. I don't frequent these places with a view to finding the love of my life.
Rather than waste good fucking time by conducting an impromptu symposium on HIV with these humps, I just tell them whatever they want to hear and if I'm not convinced they're positive I use a condom.
And, despite the earnest claims to moral superiority from some of you I don't believe for a single moment that any of the other gay guys who've commented in this thread are any different.
MtD

Even with a drunken, drugged out affairs that you pick up in sleazy bars and darkened sex joints , it is secure to use a condom..........by that , you are protecting yourselves and your partner too...........and in that case  , a matter of disclosure is really under question..............but you have answered that dilemma afterward.......
I did not claimed ( if that sentence was referring to me ) that I`m morally superior or different from any of us here , what  I mean is , when you tell ( or do not ) your status  to a person that it is worth it  , you have one less monkey on your back, so to speak , ........
Either that , or to use a condom , ......................which always leave you a incident option............
I did not have any sexual relationships  since October , and I`m frankly convicted that I would die that way , because do not won`t more troubles besides these ones....................but that is my matter..............
And I`m OK with a fact that they are diffrences between us.............
edited for typos

                              Al
« Last Edit: May 23, 2007, 01:24:13 PM by SASA39 »
Oct.     `06.  CD4=58  ?    %       VL not perform. ?!?
25.Dec.`06.         203       14        VL= 0
29.May.`07.    broken device        VL=1363
20.June`07     broken device        VL=0
25.Dec `07  CD4=582                  VL=70
14.May `08  CD4=448
29.July `08                                  VL=0
26.Nov `08  CD4=674                    VL=179
16.Mar `09  CD4=554                    VL=0
19.Jan`10 CD4=715               
03.Mar`10                                    VL=0
24.Aug`10 CD4=524                     VL=0
04.Dec`10 CD4=626                     VL=0
15.Sep`11                                   VL=93
17.Nov`11                                   VL=0
05/26 .Jul`12 CD4=713                 VL=0
28.Nov`12 CD4=916                     VL=0
09.May`13                                 VL=0

Offline planonstaying

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  • Hiv is the FOX,tcells the rabbit, CALL the HOUNDS!
Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #22 on: May 23, 2007, 10:47:15 AM »
I don't have a lot of experience =/ but have always disclosed  and always plan on it.   morally, I would  have a hard time  looking  back at  myself in the miror if i didnt operate that way i think. It isn't worth the orgasm to rob someone of what should be their choice since  i do know my status imo
If someone tells you  potential consequences of a behavior  it  doesn't  mean they jude you or mit    they may just give a shit about you

Offline xyahka

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #23 on: May 23, 2007, 10:57:47 AM »
Because as every faggot worth his jungle juice knows, a standing cock has no conscience.

Wow... so true. Mtd well said (that phrase was a turn on!  ;)).

as for me, i had sex yesterday all night long and didn't disclose... felling guilty? no. i played safe and like what Ann said if you learn and become a trained condoms user they will rarely or never break. The problem is not disclosure or not.. the problem is if people play safe or not. Before i didn't that's why i am here, but now i do.

Plus, if i disclose in latin america... i would never had sex again... remember here hiv+ is still a curse... they would go away running...

Juan Carlos (certified advanced condoms user)
13/03/07 1er diagnóstico /Peso: 79kg
19/04/07 CD4: 494 /CViral: ?? /Peso: 80kg
19/07/07 CD4: 659 /CViral: ?? /Peso: 79.5kg
06/03/08 CD4: 573 (después de meses muy deprimido) /CViral: ?? /Peso: 79kg
17/09/08 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 84Kg
06/02/09 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 85Kg /HCV: Neg /HBV: Neg.
07/03/09 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 87Kg / Gym 3días/semana y Natación 2días/semana.
12/05/09 CD4: 470 /Cviral: ?? /Peso: 87Kg.
08/07/09 CD4: ? /CViral: ? /Peso: 77Kg.
09/12/09 CD4: 510 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg. No medicinas aún
10/01/10 CD4: ? /CViral: ? /Peso: 76Kg.
15/05/10 CD4: 320 /CViral: ? /Peso: 76Kg.
01/02/11 CD4: 291 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg.
05/05/11 CD4: 366 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg.
27/07/11 CD4: 255 /CViral: 138000 /Peso: 78kg.

Disfrutando y aceptando una nueva vida...

Offline Jer

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #24 on: May 23, 2007, 12:03:28 PM »
Lack of information is one of the reasons that this illness wiped out a generation of the gay community.   It is irresponsible to not disclose.  If the person chooses not to engage in "safer" sex practices then that is their choice....give 'em that.

Offline sdcabincrew74

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #25 on: May 23, 2007, 01:01:06 PM »
It is clear that I do already disclose if the question is asked. If it's just a pick up in a bar or online, and the question is not asked, and it is protected, and i'm the bottom, then the partner has that very rare risk of having the condom break. If that had to happen, I would say i'm HIV+, but that I did everything I could to make the sex safer, and that if there was any concern, he could have asked too. After all, he may be positive and not tell me either. Imagine that. Condom breaks, then both of us say "i'm hiv+"  :o I also ask the person to bring condoms, so it is clear that I am asking for safer sex. I guess it never came to my mind to ask if someone was HIV+ when I had the person ask me to wear a condom... I only asked before unprotected sex (and sometimes I forgot to ask..)

Milker.


Sounds like you got it all under control dear.
The difference between an overnight and a layover is luck!

Offline Carolann

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #26 on: May 23, 2007, 01:23:22 PM »
Well every newly infected person may likely infect many other people, and those people in turn may in fact infect many other people, and so our actions have exponential consequences.

What we do to one other person we often do to many other people.

HIV is pure hell.  Sorry, even with the best meds and the best doctors it is still extremely horrific.  No way to sugar coat it.  To not care and knowingly feed the proliferation of this pandemic is to be a conduit of suffering and death.  It is also costly to society in both money, time, and energy.

HIV is extremely expensive to treat.  The money may in fact run out.  The insurance companies are in it to make a profit.  More and more HIV patients means higher costs to the insurance companies, and those costs will be passed on to the public.  State and Federal funds may not always be there, and every new patient increases that burden.

To take it lightly is to bury one's head up one's ass so far as to never see the light of day. 

The other day I saw a bumper sticker that read "Condoms are easier to change than diapers."  My immediate thought was not of a parent with a child but rather an adult living with HIV, as the virus and the meds make diapers a necessity for many of us.  I think that condoms are a lot easier to deal with than HIV.  They cost a hell of a lot less. Disclosure is not the issue for me per se, but rather, condoms, used correctly for anal and vaginal sex will cool down the spread of this disease. 

I don't care if you don't ask or don't tell, but please, for any penetrative sex (vaginal and anal) wrap it up. Please. 



« Last Edit: May 23, 2007, 01:28:29 PM by Carolann »

Offline SASA39

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #27 on: May 23, 2007, 01:32:18 PM »
Well every newly infected person may likely infect many other people, and those people in turn may in fact infect many other people, and so our actions have exponential consequences.

What we do to one other person we often do to many other people.

HIV is pure hell.  Sorry, even with the best meds and the best doctors it is still extremely horrific.  No way to sugar coat it.  To not care and knowingly feed the proliferation of this pandemic is to be a conduit of suffering and death.  It is also costly to society in both money, time, and energy.

HIV is extremely expensive to treat.  The money may in fact run out.  The insurance companies are in it to make a profit.  More and more HIV patients means higher costs to the insurance companies, and those costs will be passed on to the public.  State and Federal funds may not always be there, and every new patient increases that burden.

To take it lightly is to bury one's head up one's ass so far as to never see the light of day. 



In Serbia a goverment is already in fear of a collapsed social system : not to mention who would be first to strike if it come true.They have already printed a donation bills along with comunal ones for all households to donate for a fight against AIDS .Minute later they have ended in garbage can with famous reply :
" Damn ******* , They have got what they have deserved.I got a kids to look after , not to give them........., or I`m going to save that money when I`m ill"
Oct.     `06.  CD4=58  ?    %       VL not perform. ?!?
25.Dec.`06.         203       14        VL= 0
29.May.`07.    broken device        VL=1363
20.June`07     broken device        VL=0
25.Dec `07  CD4=582                  VL=70
14.May `08  CD4=448
29.July `08                                  VL=0
26.Nov `08  CD4=674                    VL=179
16.Mar `09  CD4=554                    VL=0
19.Jan`10 CD4=715               
03.Mar`10                                    VL=0
24.Aug`10 CD4=524                     VL=0
04.Dec`10 CD4=626                     VL=0
15.Sep`11                                   VL=93
17.Nov`11                                   VL=0
05/26 .Jul`12 CD4=713                 VL=0
28.Nov`12 CD4=916                     VL=0
09.May`13                                 VL=0

Offline Carolann

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #28 on: May 23, 2007, 01:43:30 PM »
In Serbia a goverment is already in fear of a collapsed social system : not to mention who would be first to strike if it come true.They have already printed a donation bills along with comunal ones for all households to donate for a fight against AIDS .Minute later they have ended in garbage can with famous reply :
" Damn ******* , They have got what they have deserved.I got a kids to look after , not to give them........., or I`m going to save that money when I`m ill"

Sasa,

I cannot tell you how many times I hear the same things in the U.S. and in a clinical environment.  I know doctors who say similar things.  From a public policy position, it becomes more and more difficult to fund.  There is a perception (wrongly asserted) that people are carelessly and cavalierly spreading this virus, and sympathy seems to be diminishing because of this misconception.  There is also building resentment among people who think that their tax dollars are being spent on people who knowingly spread a deadly disease (their thoughts, not mine).  Being female, people don't immediately think of me as a person with HIV, no matter how much weight I have lost, or how ill I have looked at times, so they make comments in front of me that they probably and hopefully would not make in front of a gay male.

I hear things that make me cry.

I hope that compassion wins out over this cruelty and that these societal misconceptions about people living with HIV do not impact our access to treatment and our ability to live our already difficult lives.

Offline Bucko

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #29 on: May 23, 2007, 02:20:07 PM »
As a matter of strict personal policy I disclose because I serosort and would never knowingly have penetrative sex with a neg. But here in Ft Lauderdale it's an easy thing to do. If I were some place where disclosure would lead to being ostracized, I'd probably not and use condoms or (more likely) dispense with penetrative sex altogether.

Brent
(Who answers the same question the same way each time)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline Carolann

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #30 on: May 23, 2007, 03:45:51 PM »
As a matter of strict personal policy I disclose because I serosort and would never knowingly have penetrative sex with a neg. But here in Ft Lauderdale it's an easy thing to do. If I were some place where disclosure would lead to being ostracized, I'd probably not and use condoms or (more likely) dispense with penetrative sex altogether.

Brent
(Who answers the same question the same way each time)

Brent,

If more people acted and thought like you, think of how many of us wouldn't be here on these forums.  Thankfully there are people like you and hopefully they outnumber those who don't care or don't think deeply enough when it comes to this virus.

Offline jimw

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #31 on: May 23, 2007, 04:05:34 PM »
Lack of information is one of the reasons that this illness wiped out a generation of the gay community. 

Although I completely agree with disclosing ones status, I disagree with your statement that lack of information is what wiped out an entire generation of the gay community.  AIDS was already prevalent throughout the gay community before it was ever discovered almost 26 years ago - then WHAM - it hit before anyone knew what was happening.  It wasn't a lack of information, and in fact once the gay community realized that it was sexually transmittable it was the gay community, and not the government, that picked up the sword and took steps to educate and inform its members on how to prevent transmission. 

Offline SASA39

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #32 on: May 23, 2007, 04:35:26 PM »
I did it again ...........
I should wear glasses .......
Question was  : "Do you disclose if you know you are going to have protected sex?"
But anyway I would disclose  it to a reliable person .........

« Last Edit: May 23, 2007, 04:38:11 PM by SASA39 »
Oct.     `06.  CD4=58  ?    %       VL not perform. ?!?
25.Dec.`06.         203       14        VL= 0
29.May.`07.    broken device        VL=1363
20.June`07     broken device        VL=0
25.Dec `07  CD4=582                  VL=70
14.May `08  CD4=448
29.July `08                                  VL=0
26.Nov `08  CD4=674                    VL=179
16.Mar `09  CD4=554                    VL=0
19.Jan`10 CD4=715               
03.Mar`10                                    VL=0
24.Aug`10 CD4=524                     VL=0
04.Dec`10 CD4=626                     VL=0
15.Sep`11                                   VL=93
17.Nov`11                                   VL=0
05/26 .Jul`12 CD4=713                 VL=0
28.Nov`12 CD4=916                     VL=0
09.May`13                                 VL=0

Offline Iggy

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #33 on: May 23, 2007, 08:43:57 PM »
I currently  make it a priority to to inform every potential sex partner that I am poz.  Yeah...and priority is the right word....because it has more importance to me than just getting off.  Sure some may see that as a holier than thou statement though I find that funny and a pretty simple minded as my reasons are not based on morality - I actually prefer not to have sex with neg people so the disclosure issue is one of aiding me selecting my partners....in sex and beyond.

I do want to touch on some of the discussion re: laws on the books about HIV disclosure and state that I feel they are discriminatory against HIV people and not in the best interests of public health. I would go so far as they were proposed, enacted and are enforced with the goal in mind to punish poz people without a care of doing anything about the spread of HIV.

If lawmakers really wanted to combat the spread of HIV that happens when people don't discuss HIV status - they would be arresting the neg people who don't bring up disclosure before sex as well as they are equally responsible for the spread of HIV and the "crime" of nondisclosure. 

I would also love to see a correlation study done (at least in the U.S.) of localities that have the disclosure law (or at least are active in their pursuit of it) and the amount of funding they provide for HIV prevention messages ranging from sex education in schools to free condoms at bars.  Maybe it's a false hunch but I got a feeling that we would see that the localities with cases being tried in regards to this might also have the worst records on prevention education. I would also like a comparison of how much they spent on putting the disclousre law on the books and any enactment costs ranging from police time to judicial costs ...again - just an assumption but my feeling is that the latter would have cost more tax dollars than the former (education)


Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #34 on: May 23, 2007, 08:51:23 PM »
My severe lipodystrophy does a FAB.U.LOUS job of sero-sorting me naturally.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline SouthSam7

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #35 on: May 23, 2007, 09:09:09 PM »
I always disclose, regardless of planned safe sex or not.  My problem is when to tell someone.  The few times I've met someone since being diagnosed and would have normally "tricked up", I disclosed. 

I don't seem to get the timing right, however, because the subsequent tension after disclosing neutralizes any heat or excitement and the sex fizzles out.

I think now I subconsciously prevent myself from getting laid because of the above experience.

Love,
Sam

Offline Tempeboy

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #36 on: May 24, 2007, 12:04:29 AM »
For me it comes with the territory, your place or mine, top - bottom, dick size, pos - neg.  Mostly you can tell if someone is open minded enough to deal with it, if not then the whole thing is gonna be tricky anyway. 

If I want to arrange to see someone again it's better for me if they already know, and I usually give people a bail option.  I'd rather discuss it than be lied to.  It's about trust and communication.

I always use condom's, whether giving or taking.  I don't want any extra STI's or HepC, but that's me.  The different states here have different laws about disclosing and infecting, with 3 big law-trials going on at the moment.  The legal experts suggest that laws around safety are more useful than laws around disclosure, ie no legal obligation to disclose as long as it's nice and safe.  The UK has no laws in either regard and their rates are through the roof - their principle is "Never rejected, but often infected!"  Hep C is huge in the UK - especially in their tourist centre's.

I've heard some great pick-up lines, and poz.com has a free internet hook up service.

Happy hunting!
Roughly roundabout somewhere in the eighteenth or nineteenth century, Sodomite begat Homosexual out of moral, medical and legal models, bequeathing him Identity, who inbred with Nuclear Family and Industrialism to spawn Homophobia.

Dean Kiley

Offline keyite

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #37 on: May 24, 2007, 04:26:02 AM »
The legal experts suggest that laws around safety are more useful than laws around disclosure, ie no legal obligation to disclose as long as it's nice and safe. The UK has no laws in either regard and their rates are through the roof - their principle is "Never rejected, but often infected!"

Completely untrue. Rates in the UK might be rising (just like they are in the US and elsewhere in the world) but it is not due to a lack of legislation or prosecutions: http://www.tht.org.uk/informationresources/prosecutions/recentcourtcases/
« Last Edit: May 24, 2007, 03:22:42 PM by keyite »

Offline Hard Times

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #38 on: May 24, 2007, 11:19:36 AM »
to get control of the hiv/aids ,  EVERYONE MUST DISCLOSE ,  i know there are worse things than aids!
& i dont want tofind out what they feel like !!! ONE DESEASE IS ENOUGH FOR ME !!!
PROTECTION IS NOT A CHOICE :  IT'S A MUST !!!
my partner is hiv- , how could i live with myself if i infected him ???  (i couldn't).
Your Body Is What You Are.
Your Soul Is Who You Are.

Offline SouthSam7

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #39 on: May 24, 2007, 02:00:31 PM »
I don't believe I have ever passed it on to anyone.  But I wonder about that sometimes.  sorry didn't mean to hijack this thread.
Sam

Offline Bucko

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #40 on: May 24, 2007, 02:33:47 PM »
to get control of the hiv/aids ,  EVERYONE MUST DISCLOSE ,  i know there are worse things than aids!
& i dont want tofind out what they feel like !!! ONE DESEASE IS ENOUGH FOR ME !!!
PROTECTION IS NOT A CHOICE :  IT'S A MUST !!!
my partner is hiv- , how could i live with myself if i infected him ???  (i couldn't).

Tommy-

Correct forum decorum insists that you frame your opinions as opinions and not as a screaming rant. You are new here and you'll learn that.

While disclosure might be the law for most of the people reading this, it is also a matter of individual discretion when put into practice, hence Milkie's initiation of this thread. Rational and intelligent minds can disagree as regards disclosure for reasons you can't imagine from your perspective, but are no less valid than your experiences. We respect allowing each member here to discuss their opinions in a safe and bias-neutral arena.

My virus infected my ex (perhaps several of them) before I was aware of my status. It was one of the defining moments of my life, which has since moved on for over twelve years. In the immediate aftermath of a positive diagnosis I harbored many horrible thoughts, most of which were discussed  here when I first joined in June 2005. It took many years to come to terms with the consequences of my fear of testing, and sharing this journey has been an important contribution to the dialog here.

But I most definitely continued living with myself (and my ex, BTW, for almost ten years). The longer you are diagnosed and the more peace you find as someone living with HIV/AIDS the healthier and more productive your life will be.

Brent
(Who needed to say this)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline BT65

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #41 on: May 24, 2007, 03:58:39 PM »
I think it's a personal choice as long as safe sex is used.  But that's just me.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline SouthSam7

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #42 on: May 25, 2007, 01:07:20 AM »
I don't understand why it's the law to disclose in some places because 1. Some people won't be honest, and 2. People who keep their viral load low aren't likely to infect anyone. 

Offline Bucko

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #43 on: May 25, 2007, 01:17:51 AM »
The only way our system knows how to deal with a threat is by criminalizing it. It's not meant to protect anybody, just keep us pozzies on our toes.

Brent
(Who has yet another reason to look over his shoulder)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline Hard Times

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #44 on: May 25, 2007, 11:58:41 AM »
yes bucko i'm new to this !  it took me a year just to get this far ! no one has explained how to use these sites ! sorry if i did it wrong !  thanks for pointing that out .
Your Body Is What You Are.
Your Soul Is Who You Are.

Offline Tempeboy

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #45 on: May 30, 2007, 06:35:41 AM »
Hey Keyite,

Thanks for the link mate. 

The difference is that Australia imposes extra legislation that applies to anyone who is HIV+ and has sex.  So if you knowingly infect someone in the UK, you could be prosecuted under Criminal law (eg reckless endangerment).  But in Oz, I can be charged, prosecuted, fined and imprisoned for not disclosing my HIV status to a sexual partner - even if I use a condom and there is no transmission.  And, if I pass on HIV - then I could be prosecuted under Criminal law.  And, if I "deliberately" pass on HIV - there are more laws, and it goes on.

These laws have been around since the early 80's.  When you are diagnosed these laws are explained to you by your Dr, as a requirement by the department of health. 

Probably the only good thing about this is that the issues are discussed openly and widely, and have been now for 20+ years.  So the law forms part of the local culture.  So if I disclose for a fuck, guys are usually understanding and appreciate the honesty.

As a matter of fact, I am going to log off and head to the local sauna to test the theory.
Roughly roundabout somewhere in the eighteenth or nineteenth century, Sodomite begat Homosexual out of moral, medical and legal models, bequeathing him Identity, who inbred with Nuclear Family and Industrialism to spawn Homophobia.

Dean Kiley

Offline milker

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #46 on: May 30, 2007, 07:10:06 AM »
As a matter of fact, I am going to log off and head to the local sauna to test the theory.

Don't forget the camera  8)
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline keyite

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #47 on: May 30, 2007, 07:31:06 AM »
The difference is that Australia imposes extra legislation that applies to anyone who is HIV+ and has sex.  So if you knowingly infect someone in the UK, you could be prosecuted under Criminal law (eg reckless endangerment).  But in Oz, I can be charged, prosecuted, fined and imprisoned for not disclosing my HIV status to a sexual partner - even if I use a condom and there is no transmission.  And, if I pass on HIV - then I could be prosecuted under Criminal law.  And, if I "deliberately" pass on HIV - there are more laws, and it goes on.

I'm not entirely clear - are you arguing these extra laws are a good thing? If so, you have to wonder why they don't seem to bring about reduced transmission rates, because surely that's their objective? After all, they've been around since the 80s. You mentioned Hep C in your previous post - does Australian legislation cover that, or other potentially incurable infections such as herpes, too? If not, you have to wonder why not?

I don't personally believe legislating about disclosure works as a prevention strategy. The statistics really speak for themselves. If anything, this type of measure works against people testing and finding out their status. Given the majority of new infections come via people who have no idea they're infected themselves then the better strategy would be to encourage more widespread testing.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #48 on: May 30, 2007, 07:35:20 AM »
No Keyite,

Tempeboy refers to the disclosure provisions of the Public Health Act 1991 (NSW) which are additional to provisions under other NSW laws.

;)

MtD

Offline keyite

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #49 on: May 30, 2007, 07:45:39 AM »
Thanks Matty, but I wasn't asking for the precise name of the act, helpful though that is...  :-*

I was actually asking Tempeboy if he was arguing in favour of these extra laws.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #50 on: May 30, 2007, 07:48:14 AM »
Matty the Damned knows what you were asking. Your questions don't really interest him. Rather he just wanted to show off his knowledge of relevant Australian legislation.

MtD

Offline keyite

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #51 on: May 30, 2007, 07:51:15 AM »
Fascinating it is too.

Offline Ann

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #52 on: May 30, 2007, 08:31:01 AM »
When you are diagnosed these laws are explained to you by your Dr, as a requirement by the department of health. 


Do they really explain the laws? What a good - and obvious - idea. Not one medical professional has ever discussed the law with me and I have a sneaky suspicion that most have the same experience.

Another thing that seems to often be left out of the initial post-diagnosis discussions is exactly how the virus is and is not spread. Not everyone has the resources to research this stuff - and not everyone has the inclination either.

Maybe if these two subjects were required to be dealt with in the doctor's office after diagnosis, we might see a modest decline in onward transmission. Maybe - it couldn't hurt to try.

Ann
(who doesn't agree with most legislation aimed at hiv, but thinks people need to be informed, formally, that it exists.)
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Offline fearless

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #53 on: May 30, 2007, 08:26:00 PM »
You mentioned Hep C in your previous post - does Australian legislation cover that, or other potentially incurable infections such as herpes, too? If not, you have to wonder why not?

Keyite,

In NSW the public health act requires one to disclose not only HIV but any other sexually transmitted infection. It states that you must not have sexual intercourse with anyone unless you have disclosed to that person the fact you have that condition and the other person voluntarily agrees to accept the risk of transmission. This law defines sexual intercourse as meaning the introduction into the vagina, anus or mouth of a person of any part of the penis of another person, or cunnilingus.   In other words, this law requires disclosure about HIV or STIs for oral, anal and vaginal sex. Interestingly, the law does not say you have to disclose you have HIV or another STI if you use needles to inject drugs.

Ann,

Yes, it is a requirement that they do explain the laws and modes of transmission to you when you are first diagnosed. And, I think they are not allowed to let you leave the surgery until they are satisfied that you are not going to top yourself as soon as you walk out the door. At least my doc did - he made sure I had somewhere to go, someone to talk to, and he gave me a list of contacts for free counselling, support and advice.
« Last Edit: May 30, 2007, 08:28:53 PM by fearless »
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Offline keyite

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #54 on: May 31, 2007, 06:20:14 AM »
Fearless, thanks for that clarification. Might not agree with the approach, but at least it's consistent...  ;)

Is it possible to tell if this law has made a discernible dent in infection rates?

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #55 on: May 31, 2007, 06:49:08 AM »
Is it possible to tell if this law has made a discernible dent in infection rates?

It makes no difference. HIV infection rates rise and drop irrespective of the provisions of the Act. We've seen HIV rising dramatically in NSW since 2000. But last year the infection rate in NSW dropped by about 5%.

MtD

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #56 on: May 31, 2007, 07:37:13 AM »
Ohio has an addition to communicable disease law specifically for HIV and AIDS.

Ohio
All citations are to “Ohio Rev. Code Ann.” unless otherwise noted.

CRIMINAL LAW

(1)  Persons who know that they are carriers of AIDS (see Definitions (2)) shall neither sell nor donate their own blood, plasma, or blood product if they know or should know that the blood, plasma, or blood product is being used for the purpose of transfusion to another individual.  Anyone violating this section is guilty of selling or donating contaminated blood, a felony in the fourth degree.  § 2927.13.

(2)  No person, with knowledge that they have tested positive for HIV (see Definitions (2)) or AIDS shall, in the context of loitering, beckon to, stop, or attempt to stop another; engage or attempt to engage another in conversation; stop or attempt to stop the operator of a vehicle or approach a stationary vehicle; if the offender is the operator of a vehicle or passenger in a vehicle, stop, attempt to stop, beckon to, attempt to beckon to or entice another to approach or enter the vehicle of which the offender is the operator or the passenger; or interfere with the free passage of another.  § 2907.241.

(3)  No person, with knowledge that they have tested positive for HIV or AIDS shall solicit another to engage in sexual activity with them for hire.  Any person found guilty of this provision is guilty of engaging in solicitation after a positive HIV test.  If committed before July 1, 1996, then the crime is a felony in the second degree, if committed after that date then it is a felony of the third degree.  If a person is convicted or pleads guilty of any provision of this section, an attempt to commit a violation of any provision of this section, or a violation or attempt to commit a violation to a municipal ordinance substantially equivalent to the provisions of this section, and if this person was in, was on, or used a motor vehicle, the court, in addition to or independent of all other penalties imposed for the violation shall impose upon the offender a class six suspension of the person’s driver’s license.  § 2907.24.

(4)  No person confined in a detention facility with knowledge that they are HIV positive or have AIDS shall cause or attempt to cause another person to come into contact with blood, semen, urine, feces, or another bodily substance by throwing the bodily substance at the other person, by expelling the bodily substance upon the other person, or in any other manner.  Whoever violated this section is guilty of harassment which is a felony in the third degree.  This section does not apply to a person who is hospitalized, institutionalized, or confined in a facility operated by the department of mental health or the department of mental retardation and developmental disabilities.  § 2921.38.

(5)  No person with knowledge that they have tested HIV positive shall engage in sexual activity for hire.  Whoever violates this section is guilty of engaging in prostitution after a positive HIV test.  This is a felony of the second degree if committed before July 1, 1996 and is a felony of the third degree if committed after that date.  § 2907.25.

(6)  No person, with knowledge that the person has tested positive as a carrier of a virus that causes AIDS, shall knowingly do any of the following:  engage in sexual conduct with another person without disclosing that knowledge to the other person prior to engaging in the sexual conduct; engage in sexual conduct with a person whom the offender knows or has reasonable cause to believe lacks the mental capacity to appreciate the significance of the knowledge that the offender has tested positive as a carrier of a virus that causes AIDS; engage in sexual conduct with a person under eighteen years of age who is not the spouse of the offender.   If the victim of the offense is a peace officer, and if the victim suffered serious physical harm as a result of the commission of the offense, felonious assault is a felony of the first degree, and the court, shall impose as a mandatory prison term one of the applicable prison terms.  § 2903.11.

The mental capacity part of the law is where it gets you even if you disclose.




Offline goatwriter

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #57 on: May 31, 2007, 07:42:19 AM »
From a hetrosexual male perspective... Over the years I've tried both approaches and believed at different times that both were right, to disclose or not to disclose
 most recently, the last couple of years , I've been not disclosing. This had boosted my confidence dramatically. I became a sexual being again.
 The way I look at it is, if you use condoms, check you dick a lot for cuts or abrasions, then there really is no problem
 i say No problem , because I think the risk, of oral sex , or of a condom breaking ( and they rarely break, and if they do you know and you can stop strait away) that risk is so low that its inconsequential
 To live in this world is to except risk. To have sex is to accept risk. If you go out there is a much much higher chance that you will be hit by a car than infected with hiv by me.  We accept this as part and parcel of living in the modern world. Drives don't need to disclose to the world everytime they go for a drive. They take proper care, you take proper care in crossing the road. That's the best we can do.
 I really cant see how non disclosure by hiv poz people who practise safer sex is spreading the virus. Actually its nonsense
 hiv is spread by people who don't know they have the virus.
 As for criminalisation. I think its pretty disgusting, right wing fear mongering. but if we were to go down that route then it should be a criminal offence for every person that has sex, that isn't 100per cent sure that they are hiv negative, to disclose that fact.

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #58 on: May 31, 2007, 08:38:41 AM »
Do they really explain the laws? What a good - and obvious - idea. Not one medical professional has ever discussed the law with me and I have a sneaky suspicion that most have the same experience.

They discussed it with me... they told me that in the Netherlands I DO NOT have to disclose, and so if I want it I can get sex [in pretty much the same words], protected of course. That was because I complained that I will never have sex again... so actually, the took the trouble to explain how the law is on our side.

At the same time I know they are very concerned here about serosorting, they are really against it here and have organized a class for gay patients to explain how dangerous it can be.

You got to give the Dutch something, they are very pragmatic people, and they are not moralistic (mostly). I have never seen a Dutch treat me strangely because of HIV (Ok once actually I did a PAP smear and the technician dressed like she was going into a nuclear reactor and seemed awfully nervous; but otherwise incredibelly laid back, and I am talking about people who deal with my blood, and other potentially infectious things like a dental hygenist, nurses removing a cyst, etc). My BF went to the doctor the other day to ask for a HIV test because we are having sex for more than a year. I was worried about the doctor's reaction, but he told me not to worry he is sure that he will be completely calm, because he is Dutch, and yes the doctor didn't even raise an eyebrow, he told him that he has nothing to worry about but he understands the emotional need to test once in a while.

I have a question to the nondisclosers: aren't you afraid someone will find out and confront you?
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline milker

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #59 on: May 31, 2007, 10:23:07 AM »
Most of those laws are 10 years old, and we drafted 15 years ago. It's time to review them..

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

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Offline ACinKC

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #60 on: May 31, 2007, 11:55:20 AM »
Ohio has an addition to communicable disease law specifically for HIV and AIDS.

Ohio
All citations are to “Ohio Rev. Code Ann.” unless otherwise noted.

CRIMINAL LAW

(1)  Persons who know that they are carriers of AIDS (see Definitions (2)) shall neither sell nor donate their own blood, plasma, or blood product if they know or should know that the blood, plasma, or blood product is being used for the purpose of transfusion to another individual.  Anyone violating this section is guilty of selling or donating contaminated blood, a felony in the fourth degree.  § 2927.13.

(2)  No person, with knowledge that they have tested positive for HIV (see Definitions (2)) or AIDS shall, in the context of loitering, beckon to, stop, or attempt to stop another; engage or attempt to engage another in conversation; stop or attempt to stop the operator of a vehicle or approach a stationary vehicle; if the offender is the operator of a vehicle or passenger in a vehicle, stop, attempt to stop, beckon to, attempt to beckon to or entice another to approach or enter the vehicle of which the offender is the operator or the passenger; or interfere with the free passage of another.  § 2907.241.

(3)  No person, with knowledge that they have tested positive for HIV or AIDS shall solicit another to engage in sexual activity with them for hire.  Any person found guilty of this provision is guilty of engaging in solicitation after a positive HIV test.  If committed before July 1, 1996, then the crime is a felony in the second degree, if committed after that date then it is a felony of the third degree.  If a person is convicted or pleads guilty of any provision of this section, an attempt to commit a violation of any provision of this section, or a violation or attempt to commit a violation to a municipal ordinance substantially equivalent to the provisions of this section, and if this person was in, was on, or used a motor vehicle, the court, in addition to or independent of all other penalties imposed for the violation shall impose upon the offender a class six suspension of the person’s driver’s license.  § 2907.24.

(4)  No person confined in a detention facility with knowledge that they are HIV positive or have AIDS shall cause or attempt to cause another person to come into contact with blood, semen, urine, feces, or another bodily substance by throwing the bodily substance at the other person, by expelling the bodily substance upon the other person, or in any other manner.  Whoever violated this section is guilty of harassment which is a felony in the third degree.  This section does not apply to a person who is hospitalized, institutionalized, or confined in a facility operated by the department of mental health or the department of mental retardation and developmental disabilities.  § 2921.38.

(5)  No person with knowledge that they have tested HIV positive shall engage in sexual activity for hire.  Whoever violates this section is guilty of engaging in prostitution after a positive HIV test.  This is a felony of the second degree if committed before July 1, 1996 and is a felony of the third degree if committed after that date.  § 2907.25.

(6)  No person, with knowledge that the person has tested positive as a carrier of a virus that causes AIDS, shall knowingly do any of the following:  engage in sexual conduct with another person without disclosing that knowledge to the other person prior to engaging in the sexual conduct; engage in sexual conduct with a person whom the offender knows or has reasonable cause to believe lacks the mental capacity to appreciate the significance of the knowledge that the offender has tested positive as a carrier of a virus that causes AIDS; engage in sexual conduct with a person under eighteen years of age who is not the spouse of the offender.   If the victim of the offense is a peace officer, and if the victim suffered serious physical harm as a result of the commission of the offense, felonious assault is a felony of the first degree, and the court, shall impose as a mandatory prison term one of the applicable prison terms.  § 2903.11.

The mental capacity part of the law is where it gets you even if you disclose.

The scariest part of this Rod is that it actually ENCOURAGES prostitutes to NOT get tested.  If they dont know they cant be prosecuted.  NICE JOB OHIO!  You are spreading this disease using your dumb ass laws!  Seriously, sometimes people don't think this shit through.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #61 on: May 31, 2007, 12:02:25 PM »
I have a question to the nondisclosers: aren't you afraid someone will find out and confront you?

I have thought of this.  I consider myself HIGHLY educated in the modes of transmission.  So I dont consider oral sex a risk at all.  I give 98% of the time and when I'm getting blown its never to completion (and all the science indicates you dont get it from oral sex at all anyway!).  You dont give a person HIV by going down on them (male OR female).  As for other sex, with my wife its always protected and she knows.  With other men it is always protected and im ALWAYS the bottom.  So there is ZERO risk for transmission.  If a condom breaks (which they DONT if used correctly, and I've read all of Ann's links) and you stop immediately and replace with a new one the risk of transmission is infinitely small, I MAY tell someone if this happens but probably not because I know what it takes to become infected and this just wont do it in the real world.

Now if someone found out and confronted me, I'd tell them the facts.  I never put you at risk.  If I would have I would have told you, and I NEVER would have put you at risk.  And then educated yet ONE MORE person as to how this disease actually works.
« Last Edit: May 31, 2007, 12:04:17 PM by ACinKC »
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #62 on: May 31, 2007, 01:10:08 PM »
AC, they'll test a prostitute in a nano second, then if she/he tests positive they'll get her/him for a felony if caught prostituting again.

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #63 on: May 31, 2007, 01:15:49 PM »
Rod, Is it a FORCED test?  Is that constitutional?
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #64 on: May 31, 2007, 02:03:33 PM »
In the State of Ohio it is if you are going to be incarcerated. They don't only check you for HIV, but STDs and TB goes along with it. They don't do that to ones that are there for overnight visits for DUI, etc.. Put it this way, if they tell you are going to have to take an HIV test and you refuse the courts will presume the worse and the only way to get a lessor sentence is by testing and proving you are HIV negative. It's a catch 22.

Offline David_CA

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #65 on: May 31, 2007, 03:02:19 PM »

(2)  No person, with knowledge that they have tested positive for HIV (see Definitions (2)) or AIDS shall, in the context of loitering, beckon to, stop, or attempt to stop another; engage or attempt to engage another in conversation; stop or attempt to stop the operator of a vehicle or approach a stationary vehicle; if the offender is the operator of a vehicle or passenger in a vehicle, stop, attempt to stop, beckon to, attempt to beckon to or entice another to approach or enter the vehicle of which the offender is the operator or the passenger; or interfere with the free passage of another.  § 2907.241.


This part sounds particularly stupid.  I wonder what prompted this particular section?

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #66 on: May 31, 2007, 08:41:11 PM »
Hookers flagging down and stopping vehicles. I had to ask about that one myself.

Offline Tempeboy

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #67 on: June 01, 2007, 01:10:30 AM »
Hey Keyite,

Have been offline, and my responses are usually delayed owing to the time difference.

I personally don't like the laws here, they generate a climate of fear and marginalisation.  Social theorists argue that legislation is more effective if it focuses on safety - using similar themes to the universal protection ideas that work very well.

Interestingly these laws were enacted a pos sexworker allegedly engaged in unsafe practices with clients without disclosing her status.  Some of her clients included high ranking government and legal officials - so the response was fast and firm.  The case was complex because she had untreated bipolar illness, so lots of energy, sexually disinhibited and little thought about consequences for herself and others.  (The laws also allow for someone to be detained involuntarily if they are deemed to be a public health risk related to their status and behaviour - for all STI's).

In terms of the effect the laws have on new infections, hard to say.

Rates of new infections in NSW are on the decline, and are lower than similar centres internationally.  The rates are even more favourable when compared to other Australian states.  There are other strategies in place, extensive education and social marketing campaigns, free condoms, lube and injecting equipment easily available.  Free medical care for screening, testing and other health needs (psychological, nutritional advice etc).  Free 24 hour access to PEP, heavily subsidised medication, (about $60-90AUS per month or $9-15 bucks per month if you are on a pension.)

Also: licensing requirements for saunas, funded advertising in bars, saunas, gay press and medical centres.  It is also illegal to discriminate against someone on the basis of sexuality, allowing us a free platform to discuss these issues.  Australians are fairly tolerant, plus our annual Mardi Gras festival, parade and parties general tens of millions annually in tourism and govt revenue, so we get a fair amount of tokenistic tolerance.  Even with our current conservative government, Australians are fairly relaxed around sex and sexuality, religion and extremists are kept in their places.  The disclosure laws, as crap as they are, generate discussion on moral as well as legal issues,  so people are usually well informed.

Here's a link to part of a recent campaign from ACON, the Aids Council of NSW.

http://www.rightnow.acon.org.au/

Dear Milker (nice picture),

The laws are under constant scrutiny and review, with alot of pressure to change them.  Unfortunately there are 3 big trials here at the moment on this issue.  It is alleged that 3 men in 3 different states have "deliberately" infected hundreds of people.  The cases are separate, but are going on at the same time - so you can imagine the media storm.  It will be a long time before the dust settles enough for any progress to be made.

Roughly roundabout somewhere in the eighteenth or nineteenth century, Sodomite begat Homosexual out of moral, medical and legal models, bequeathing him Identity, who inbred with Nuclear Family and Industrialism to spawn Homophobia.

Dean Kiley

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #68 on: June 01, 2007, 01:18:32 AM »
religion and extremists are kept in their places.

Tempeboy,

Whilst Australia doesn't experience the degree of religiosity found in the US, I would have to say that religious weirdos and fundamentalist whackjobs have been and still are gaining political traction.

MtD
(Who lives in a community crawling with Exclusive Brethren)

Offline Tempeboy

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #69 on: June 01, 2007, 01:55:07 AM »
I agree Matty,

Ignorance is everywhere, I don't think the extremists have the same power or influence here though.

t
Roughly roundabout somewhere in the eighteenth or nineteenth century, Sodomite begat Homosexual out of moral, medical and legal models, bequeathing him Identity, who inbred with Nuclear Family and Industrialism to spawn Homophobia.

Dean Kiley

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #70 on: June 01, 2007, 01:56:50 AM »
I don't think the extremists have the same power or influence here though.

Agreed. But those Hillsong fuckwits in the NW of Sydney are tedious. I suspect however the black hand of the Catholic Church is more of a problem.

MtD

Offline SouthSam7

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #71 on: June 01, 2007, 03:20:30 AM »
OMFG!  All I can do when I read those f-ed up laws is laugh!  If they weren't so pathetic.  Reminds me of the laws Cobb County (Atlanta suburb) put on the books that served no purpose but to be hateful towards gay people.  As a result, all '96 Olympic Venues originally scheduled to take place in Cobb County were moved to different counties/cities.

People only "know" what they want to know.  Just because someone tests positive for hiv antibodies doesn't mean they can or will infect you!  My viral load is undetectable, but that wouldn't matter if I was hooking and got arrested!  They'd treat me like I was trying to spread hiv deliberately even though it would be highly unlikely!  Someone needs to bring the law enforcement up to date.

Sam

Offline bimjhb2

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #72 on: February 06, 2008, 03:00:28 PM »
If you are doing anything BUT giving a BJ, I cant see how you can morally NOT disclose. It's just not fair on the other person!! It's their life you are taking into your hands, imagine IF you do infect them somehow... could you live with yourself!!

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #73 on: February 06, 2008, 03:15:14 PM »
If you are doing anything BUT giving a BJ, I cant see how you can morally NOT disclose. It's just not fair on the other person!! It's their life you are taking into your hands, imagine IF you do infect them somehow... could you live with yourself!!

If you aren't HIV positive, you shouldn't be posting in Living With.

Offline AlanBama

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #74 on: February 06, 2008, 10:49:00 PM »
I was going to ask "Why the Resurrection?"

This is Ash Wednesday, not Easter.....

 ;D
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline milker

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #75 on: February 07, 2008, 12:22:52 AM »
Interesting that this thread has been resurrected...

Here I am, almost a year after my diagnosis. I disclosed everytime except once, there was no anal involved, just oral. I was drunk, and when he started sucking me I let him do it. If he's poz because of this blow job, then be it, but good luck proving it.

Disclosure is two-fold, I think. There is the "pre-meeting" disclosure, and the "in the act" disclosure. The pre-meeting disclosure can be disappointing when doing it online. People are scared as shit when you say you're HIV positive. Lack of education, stigma, etc.. Bar disclosure, however, turned out to be much better. I've have very few "sorry i'm not sure i can handle it" answers at bars. Most answers were "we'll be safe and have a good time", or "i'm poz too, let's fuck", which was my prefered answer. I've had a couple of "in the act" disclosures, and those never were a problem.

I personally cannot not disclose, unless i'm under the influence, which hasn't been happening for some time now. Disclosure has been better than not saying anything, to my experience.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline SouthSam7

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #76 on: February 07, 2008, 12:33:52 AM »
AlanBama, I was a little slow picking up your resurrection reference.  I was all ready to tell you all about ash Wednesday and lent, etc., since many of my acquaintances don't have a clue about the seasons of my faith.

I won't hijack this thread, though.  Peace!

Sam

Offline joe_in_tampa

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #77 on: February 07, 2008, 12:56:52 AM »
I had sex with someone I had just met couple of weeks ago.  I kept trying to tell him I was positive but he didn't want to listen.  He just wanted it, no matter what.  Aparently he bottomed a lot and he wasn't safe with any of them.  I figured he was probaly already positive.

I haven't been with him again but not for lack of trying.  I called him a couple of times and told him I wanted to see him again and I wanted to talk (no sex).  That must have freaked him out because he won't return my calls!

Oh well, I tried.
joe
Life is what happens while listening to music.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #78 on: February 07, 2008, 03:29:02 AM »
I guess I overlooked this thread but am glad it got bumped for whatever reason. I have a hard time disclosing due to being betrayed by my family and losing some friends because of the stigma and their ignorance. The person who infected me never even told me, I had to find out through a 3rd party. Before I found out, I was being serviced by 2 fellas. One of them told me that my partner at the time was infected but was very understanding and married. Condoms were used. The other person, I did tell, I didn't lose him as a friend but the sex was over. I can even sympathize with the one who infected me as far as not disclosing but I wish he would've been responsible and at least wore a condom knowing he was infected. But at the same time, I should've been more responsible too, it takes 2 to tango.

I recently (2 months ago) had sex with someone without disclosing. I tried talking to this person, trying to find out how educated he was by bring up the topic of hiv/aids. I know dropping hints is not the same as disclosing but you would think, it would've lead to him asking if I was poz. It didn't and he was ready to dive in w/o a condom. I guess because I didn't look sickly that was good enough for him. Even though I did not disclose, I was the responsible one, the educated one and the one with the condoms. In my eyes, I made the right decision.I played safely and knowing that I am undetectable, the risk was lower. I could have blown caution to the wind, raw dogged it and figured he would never know where it came from if he did become poz. But then the guilt would've killed me before the hiv.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline John2038

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #79 on: February 07, 2008, 10:18:27 AM »
Sure I'll disclose (the problem is how, when, etc).

Outside others reasons (ethicals, etc..) one major problem is : what will I say in case of incident ?
Let say if the condom break (no matter what the probability is)

- Sorry .. uhh I forgot to mention that I'm POZ..
« Last Edit: February 07, 2008, 10:39:57 AM by John2038 »

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #80 on: February 07, 2008, 10:33:08 AM »
We can beat around this moral Mulberry Bush all we like. It doesn't really matter because in the end each individual will decide whether to disclose or not. Since we have new members joining our exclusive little club every minute, it appears the disclosure question has already been answered.


Offline milker

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #81 on: February 09, 2008, 08:14:29 PM »
Since we have new members joining our exclusive little club every minute, it appears the disclosure question has already been answered.
Excellent sentence. So true..

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline next2u

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #82 on: February 12, 2008, 02:38:39 AM »
eggh, i still love mtd's first post.
when i first signed on to these damn boards i was all morally correct. now i stand morally corrected, i always use condoms and seldom disclose. if they can't read my profile than too bad. if we meet at a sex joint then shame on them for trying to hit it without using protection. if we meet under a romantic guise then shit, it must be my luck night, cause all these fools just want to hit it and quit it. but, i always wear a glove and make sure they do when they are with me.

disclosing is great, and more power to everyone who does. even better, more power to the people who ask. in the last 10 years of my neg life i can only recall one person asking my std status, i always had to bring that shit up. and as matty and the others have crassly reminded me, people lie. playing safe in both situations (disclosure and nondisclosure) trumps all. i have not disclosed to all my sex partners, but i have engaged in safer sex with everyone (outside of the blowjobs). guys still try to bareback with me but that shit just dont happen. i wasn't a huge fan of it before and i am not one now.
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline madbrain

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #83 on: February 12, 2008, 07:42:21 PM »
I have a question. Just curious..
If you dont disclose and you are having protected vaginal/anal sex and the condom breaks. What do you say or do?

Teresa

I always disclose. I meet people online and usually it's not that hard to do, I do it before meeting the person. Yes, it brings some non-negligible percentage of rejection, but you just have to move on if that happens. I feel that the other person should be informed, and it's required by law, which I think is not unreasonable until such time there is a cure for it.

I have unfortunately been in the situation of a condom breaking recently, in early october. I was doing insertive anal, and the other person was neg and a virgin, and very tight down there. Unfortunately, the condom broke when I was cumming. The other person freaked obviously. I brought my partner of that night to the ER to get started on PEP. That person is still neg as of early jan, and probably will stay that way.

I wish it wasn't the case, but I have seen condoms break unfortunately once in a while, I guess about every couple of years in my personal experience, probably about 1% of the time.

Offline Lis

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #84 on: February 12, 2008, 07:56:20 PM »
ACK!!!  if we don't accept ourselves, then how will we be accepted by others...

would you want to know in hind sight? I think the don't ask, don't tell sucks... fess up.. man/woman up... if you need a lay sooo bad then put your business in your own hands...  or give your partner the CHOICE.... its not that tough

just sayin.....
poz 1986....

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #85 on: February 13, 2008, 04:12:39 AM »
"ACK!!!  if we don't accept ourselves, then how will we be accepted by others..."

Not trying to start any shit but I have to disagree with that statement. Are you basically saying that if a person doesn't disclose they don't accept themselves? I accept being infected and I have been dealing with it just fine except when it comes to disclosure. Not for the lack of trying but from the beginning when I wanted to disclose that option was taken from me by family.(Yeah, I know I sound like a broken record) I can count on one hand how many people actually accepted me being poz without running for the hills when I did decide to disclose to them. I mean how much rejection is a person suppose to take before it affects them in some type of way?

Yeah, I know it is the law in many states but that doesn't make it right. I think that law should be changed, not saying that people should go out and randomly infect others but that the person should at least be responsible knowing they are infected and have a condom. But then I guess that raises the question of the other party being just as responsible too. Oh, nevermind.....This feels like deja vu.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline NLEWLAD

  • Member
  • Posts: 230
  • Anything is possible, ANYTHING
Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #86 on: February 13, 2008, 06:26:26 AM »
as i am not on meds my i am quite infectious so yes i always tell people my status before that second of pleasure ;D
Simon - Location Manchester England
Negative test 10/11/07
Tested poz 28/12/07
Confirmed WB 07/01/08
Sero-converted Late December 07

Date        CD4            %              VL

7/01/08   1273 :)      N/A       100,232
24/01/08   755 :(      42%         4,010
13/2/08     922 :)      45%       78,234
09/04/08   652 :(      38%       36,604
05/05/08   936 :)      39%       38,952
07/07/08   844 :)      34%       24,000
12/11/08   753 :(      31%       45,600
no meds yet:)

Offline BT65

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Re: Disclosure questions.. again...
« Reply #87 on: February 13, 2008, 07:49:49 AM »
My two cents is that disclosure is very personal decision and I don't think the absoluteness should be to have to do it.  To consent to having unprotected sex with someone, in my opinion, is to risk getting whatever the other person might have.  Responsibility is a two-way street.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

 


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