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I was infected 22 years ago.

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BT65:
Good to hear a little about you alterman.  My first husband infected me in 1988; that's when I seroconverted.  I know that now because I had a terrible cold that wouldn't go away and a lymph node the size of a baseball.  Anyway, I tested poz in 1989.  My first husband's dead now.  I went through going to his grave and yelling at him about infecting me and then leaving me (by dying).  Anyway, I finally did forgive him, but it took time.  But I know when I truly did, I felt so much better.  Thanks for starting this thread. 

Joe K:
Just because someone always uses condoms, does not, in my opinion, negate the need for them to disclose their status to sexual partners.  We talk about informed consent and how can the recipient be truly informed, if they do not know the status of their partner?

Andy, I must say, I was very disappointed reading your post, because you imply that following safer sex guidelines resolves us of disclosing our status and I strongly disagree with that premise.  Informed consent means you have ALL THE FACTS to base your decision upon, not just those handpicked to get you into the sack.

BT65:
I feel that if someone uses condoms, the only thing they would have to disclose would be in they had herpes, which condoms do not guard against.  Anything else, that's up to them. 

Joe K:
Betty, I still cannot agree, because what happens if the condom breaks?  Then you would have to disclose (both morally and legally) and how would you feel if someone did that to you?  I believe that since there is no such thing as safe sex, that informed consent is the only way to go.  I know what HIV can do and it will always be my responsibility to disclose my status first, because they have the right to know the truth and I can never decide on what risks are reasonable for others.

BT65:
Well, probably 99% of the time, if the condom is put on correctly, it won't break. 

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