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Author Topic: Please assist...  (Read 1700 times)

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Offline PumpkinCrunch

  • member
  • Posts: 2
Please assist...
« on: May 16, 2007, 08:37:12 PM »
Hello everyone,
I have a really wierd scenario. I met a guy at a local laundrymat by my college. He seemed to be a relatively mild-mannered honest guy.
Well after associating with him about 2 months. He slowly gained my trust. I wasn't interested in actually "dating" or having intercourse with him. The reason being was because something was not right with him. I could never bring myself to "sleep" with him. So I chose an alternative route - Masturbating him off. I am so (insanely) conscious when it comes to sex related stuff that after the procedure was done I immediately got up to wash my hands. He orgasmed but it didn't have time to really cover my hand (a small amount touched the fingertips). My concern is after I did that and cleaned my hand and his area with a wet towel is if he could have infected me with HIV.  He later rolled over and I was laying pointing away from him. I recall him reaching over me and touching my vagina.  I am  relatively sure his hand was not "saturated" persay but I am unsure if this is a cause for alarm. I have read that air dries up the virus making it non contagious. Does anyone know if the few minutes it took me to wash my hands could have deactivated the virus when he groped my vagina? Also I would like to add that I have not been ill or anything and the reason I freaked out was because I found his info plastered over a "dont date him site". The lady that wrote it said he had been hiding his status for almost 2 1/2 to 3 years. When I confronted him after a few months he still denied it. This was a wierd situation because I also found a bill from the hospital in reference to "Urethritis".  (I disappeared a few months and he called me out of the blue). After the call was when I found the website with his info on it. 

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,937
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Please assist...
« Reply #1 on: May 16, 2007, 08:49:26 PM »
You have absolutely nothing to worry about, please read the lesson here on how HIV is transmitted.

Jan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline bremen

  • member
  • Posts: 1
Re: Please assist...
« Reply #2 on: May 16, 2007, 09:04:15 PM »
I am a woman that reconnected with a former contact I had had a few years before after I got my diagnosis. Of course I insisted on protection after we stayed in touch and he tested negative. That is considered safe for him. Later I found out he has geniatal herpes and has known for twenty years. He gave me HPV the first time I was involved with him. He never tells people about his herpes because he is afraid of th e stigma and can't deal with it. He most likely has infected many women over the years he has known and never told anyone.  I have him listed on don't date sites now as well. Most men that are listed on those sites are there for a reason. There may be a few scorned lovers just out to make trouble but I would think the number of t hem is probably few.  I must now be tested every six months to see if I have developed cervical cancer as well from th e HPV he gave me.

Washing your hands probably took risk away from you, esp. if you had no open exposed wounds on your hands. As for his hand, all you can do is be tested.  I was positive for ten years before I got sick enough to be diagnosed. You can ask the testing center or the doctor but my doctor has told me that the virus does need to be in the fluid of a living host to remain alive. IT was said to die after it is released in some way. Cleaning spills and using protection are important but I would not consider it a time to panic unless you are tested and may unfortunately test positive. Even then it may not have been him.  I am not one to "sleep around" yet I became positive most likely by trusting the one wrong man the wrong time.  I will never know for sure who or if that is how I became infected. It is just something I have to deal with now. Just get tested the proper number of times since I have been told that it takes some time for the virus to show itself. And use protection in the future. There are many jerks like the one I dealt with and also cheated me out of money so I have also been involved in court dealings with him. He either has or will be served with order of execution papers on the largest lien I have against him which he has made no effort to contact me at all or pay at all.

It is most likely not the time to panic yet. Just be tested for your own peace of mind if you choose to do so, use protection and relax as much as possible. Hopefully you are negative. But even if the worst would be to happen, there is life after being diagnosed. We can have jobs, relationships and everything!  I wish you well.

Offline PumpkinCrunch

  • member
  • Posts: 2
Re: Please assist...
« Reply #3 on: May 16, 2007, 09:15:15 PM »
 :)
« Last Edit: May 16, 2007, 09:36:22 PM by PumpkinCrunch »

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,400
Re: Please assist...
« Reply #4 on: May 16, 2007, 09:54:30 PM »
Bremen, however well intentioned you were in responding, only certain authorized people are to respond to questions in this section.

In this case you are unduly encouraging her to be alarmed when in fact she was not at risk for transmission in this incident. HIV is absolutely not transmitted in the manner she is concerned about.

Thanks for your cooperation.
Andy Velez

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,400
Re: Please assist...
« Reply #5 on: May 16, 2007, 09:58:58 PM »
Pumpkin, you absolutely were not at risk for transmission in this incident you are concerned about. HIV is a fragile virus. It is not transmitted via masturbatory scenarios. Well it is possible but only in therory. In the real world of HIV it just doesn't happen that way and we would certainly have known long before today if it could be accomplished by any of the various actions related to masturbation.

Please read our lesson on Transmission. There's a link to it in the Welcome thread which opens this section. Essentially the risks sexually are through either unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse. Period.

You don't need to test in relation to this incident unless you need the inevitable negative test result to put the issue to rest for yourself.

This is not an HIV situation.Period.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,937
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Please assist...
« Reply #6 on: May 16, 2007, 10:05:24 PM »
Quote
I would not consider it a time to panic unless you are tested and may unfortunately test positive.

Bremen

This is not accepted as good advise....Pumpkin does not need to test because she has not been put at risk.

Pumpkin

Please do not start to stress over this, you have NOT been put at risk so no testing is necessary.

Jan
« Last Edit: May 16, 2007, 10:31:29 PM by anniebc »
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline polenta

  • member
  • Posts: 1
Re: Please assist...
« Reply #7 on: May 16, 2007, 10:22:12 PM »
hello pumpkin, It's great that you are asking honest questions about your sexual experiences. I work in the field and have counesled over a thousand men and women concerned about their HIV risk. I have never delivered a positive test result to someone who described a sexual situation comparable to the incident you describe. HIV tends to prefer internal soft tissue. Hope you find some comfort in the support  from folks.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,278
Re: Please assist...
« Reply #8 on: May 16, 2007, 10:39:28 PM »
polenta, please do not post in any other's threads. If you have questions and concerns please start your own thread. 

 


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