HIV Prevention and Testing > Am I Infected?

Some questions I need to have cleared

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needtobecareful:
I have posted here many months ago, but have lost my previous password so I have just set up a new account. Please bear with me.

I have a few questions that I would like some expert answers for; I would be very appreciative if you could be patient with me even if they sound a little bizarre.
I am only just becoming sexually active, and anticipating sex very soon which is making me extremely anxious because of my past worries about HIV through non-sexual route. I just want to make sure I know all the facts and do eveything the right way to protect myself in order to avoid the emotional trauma of worrying all over again should I inadvertently expose myself. Please get back to me at your earliest convenience.


1) How much more is the risk of getting infected with HIV for uncirumsized men having unprotected vaginal sex with a positive women?

2) Is there really no risk of HIV transmission if COPIOUS amounts of vaginal fluid fall onto penis head through frottage? Or is there some  risk??? I just dont see how this is so different from intercourse besides the few seconds that the virus may be exposed to air in the case of frottage.

3) I KNOW that condom breakages are normally not subtle events and can be fairly obvious when they happen during intercourse. But is this always the case? Have there been reports of condoms only breaking or tearing slightly around the tip/head of the penis while it has penetrated the vagina?


Thank you ever so much for your service. God Bless.

Ann:
need,

We are now using totally new forum software and everyone had to create a new account. Click here for your old thread.

1. If you use condoms, it doesn't matter if you are circumcised or not. You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

2. There really, really is no risk of hiv transmission during frottage. The only risk where hiv and frottage is concerned is if you get carried away and allow unprotected penetration to happen. Hiv really is a very fragile virus and successful transmission only occurs INSIDE the human body. If frottage worries you, don't do it. Simple as that. You should be aware that frottage DOES carry a risk of becoming infected with some of the more easily transmitted STIs such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis and herpes, but it does NOT transmit hiv.

3. Condom breaks are normally noticeable, yes. If you worry about condoms breaking, check them during the act. I've yet to see someone end up hiv positive because of a broken condom.

Don't forget to read through the condom and lube links in my signature line, and read through the Welcome Thread as well, making sure you follow the Lesson links.

Something else you should know: Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Ann

Andy Velez:
I am only just becoming sexually active, and anticipating sex very soon which is making me extremely anxious because of my past worries about HIV through non-sexual route. I just want to make sure I know all the facts and do eveything the right way to protect myself in order to avoid the emotional trauma of worrying all over again should I inadvertently expose myself. Please get back to me at your earliest convenience.

EXPERIENCING ANXIETY WHEN BECOMING SEXUALLY ACTIVE IS PRETTY MUCH PAR FOR THE COURSE. IN TERMS OF PROTECTING YOURSELF IN RELATION TO HIV, AS LONG AS YOU CONSISTENTLY USE CONDOMS FOR EITHER VAGINAL OR ANAL INTERCOURSE YOU ARE COVERED, LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY.
 
1) How much more is the risk of getting infected with HIV for uncirumsized men having unprotected vaginal sex with a positive women?

THE RISK IS SIGNIFICANTLY GREATER FOR UNPROTECTED INTERCOURSE IF YOU ARE NOT CIRCUMCIZED BECAUSE THE MUCOSAL SKIN OF THE FORESKIN IS AN ADDITIONAL RECEPTIVE AREA FOR TRANSMISSION. BUT THE ISSUE IS MOOT AS LONG AS YOU ALWAYS USE A CONDOM BECAUSE THEN THE HEAD OF YOUR PENIS IS COVERED, WHICH IS THE ESSENTIAL MATTER. LET"S NOT GET INTO QUANTIFYING THE ADDITONAL LEVEL OF RISK. JUST USE A CONDOM EVERYTIME AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THIS.
  
2) Is there really no risk of HIV transmission if COPIOUS amounts of vaginal fluid fall onto penis head through frottage? Or is there some  risk??? I just dont see how this is so different from intercourse besides the few seconds that the virus may be exposed to air in the case of frottage.

NO, FROTTAGE IS NOT A RISK AND IN THE HISTORY OF THE EPIDEMIC, THERE'S NEVER BEEN A DOCUMENTED CASE OF TRANSMISSION DURING THIS VERY COMMON SEXUAL ACTIVITY. JUST MAKE SURE IT IS ACTUALLY FROTTAGE AND NOT ACTUALLY INSERTION.


3) I KNOW that condom breakages are normally not subtle events and can be fairly obvious when they happen during intercourse. But is this always the case? Have there been reports of condoms only breaking or tearing slightly around the tip/head of the penis while it has penetrated the vagina?

NO. PRACTICE PUTTING ON CONDOMS SO THAT YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH THE PROCESS. YOU MIGHT ALSO TRY MASTURBATING WITH ONE ON SO THAT YOU CAN REASSURE YOURSELF ABOUT THEIR STRENGTH. MAKE SURE YOU ARE USING LATEX.  THEY PROVIDE VERY EFFECTIVE PROTECTION.

Cheers,  

needtobecareful:
Andy and Ann,

Thanks a million for your comprehensive answers. I do appreciate your time and attention.

I HAVE indeed read all the LESSONS on this website (including ALL the links in Ann's messages!) and I just have 2 additional questions that are not really addressed in the lessons.

1) The girl that I will be having sex with says she is a virgin (like me). Although I do believe her, of course i cannot be confident that she is HIV negative for sure. I myself am absolutely paranoid about HIV infection and the possibilty of pregnancy so I will DEFINITELY wear a condom during sex (even though she is ok with unprotected sex- which is worrying in itself!). HOWEVER, what i would like to know is how much bleeding occurs when a virgin female is penetrated for the first time? The high likelihood that she will bleed (since she is a virgin) and the remote possibilty that she is HIV+ worries me since this is contact with blood that we are talking about. Any advice in this regard?
Shall I change condoms and put on a new one as soon as I notice blood upon penetration? Or is it riskier to fumble around with a blood covered condom and possibly contaminate myself while changing? I really do wish she wasn't a virgin becuz of these bleeding issues.

2) Clearly, it is vital that the condom does not break both to prevent HIV transmission and pregnancy. How important is it to use a water-based lube? People have protected sex left and right with no use of lubrication and seem to be ok. Is it risky not to use lube? Am I jeopardizing protection if I dont use any lube for vaginal intercourse???

Ann:
need,

You probaby won't encounter virginial blood, whether she is or isn't. Most young women today use tampons and, well, do the math. Even if there is any blood present, as long as you are wearing a condom there won't be enough to cause a panic. Whether or not you change it is up to you and the circumstances.

Are you sure you want the first time for both of you to be fraught with anxiety? How would it be to wait until you're more emotionally ready and calm? I can tell you now that if you do wait, your first time will be something worth remembering.

You need to use lube if the person you are entering is dry and/or tight. Lube decreases friction and helps prevent breaks.

Don't use oil-based anything on latex condoms because oil will weaken the latex.

It's up to you what you do, but if you do choose to have intercourse, make sure that condom is correctly in place and lubed up.

Ann

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