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Disclosure; and why I hate myself right now.

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anniebc:
Dearest Matt

I have to agree with Melia, you need to find a way of telling him, I know there is no easy way of starting a conversation like that but you have to try.

By your own admission your hate lying, so don't lie, if you love him as you say you do, and it sounds like he feels the same way, then you need to get this relationship off to a good start..by being honest.

He may accept it he may not, but you won't know until you talk to him...give him a chance, he has a right to know if you both want to make a life together...if he does walk away then hopefully it may just be because he needs time to emotionally get his head around things, and needs the distance to deal with the information.

Talk to him Matt, don't leave it until it's too late...you are a decent and honest man don't let this change that.

Sending you love and hugs from NZ

Jan :'(

Jeffreyj:
The truth will set you free

J.R.E.:
Hello Matt,

 Deep down inside, I know, that you know, what you must do. Openess and honesty, right from the start, is how I would approach it, if I was in your situation. He will either run, or be supportive, but at the same time, may not want to persue the relationship any further. And I know that it will tear at your heart.

Don't beat up on yourself, or belittle yourself. I believe that you are a special person, and maybe this guy will see that, beyond HIV.

Everyone, so far has given you excellant advice. Imagine it the other way around. What would you do?
Whatever your decision, know that you have the support of everyone here, I am sure you will make the right choice.


The Best-----Ray

doyourowndamndishes:
Hi Matt,

All I can do is echo what others have said so I'll just lend in a supportive ('''') HUG ('''').  I know disclosure is very hard to do at times.  Hell, there are people in my life that know, many don't, and some who should but I'm not ready to deal with the bs that WILL follow, namely speaking me folks.  I know it's a hell of a lot easier said than done but try not to have any expectations with your decision.  I know the fear of losing him is much greater than disclosure but if he does freak out do you really want that in a relationship?  He may but 99.99999999999999999999% perfect but if he can not accept you as is then there may be someone else out there willing to give you the UNCONDITIONAL love that you deserve.  Yes, unconditional not I love you but ....  We all come as a set package; we all have our baggage.  Some can handle the news (like my ex); some can't.  It's now your choice as to what kind of person you want to have in your life to share it with.

Cheers!

Alan

TedEBearNC:
I really can't add anything either so...

{{{{HUGS}}}}

From one bear to another,

Phil

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