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Author Topic: AFTERNOON SMILE.  (Read 1095 times)

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Offline Alain

  • Member
  • Posts: 680
  • I am.
AFTERNOON SMILE.
« on: May 10, 2007, 01:12:06 PM »
 :)

Now that food has replace sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "GUESS" on it, so I said "implants?"....she hit me!

How come we chose from only two people to run for President and over fifty for Miss America?

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I had any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go skinny dipping, now I just chunky dunk.

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press "CTRL ALT DELETE" and start all over?

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Wouldn't know it... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but Fat cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a teacher and since it's in English, thank a soldier".

Remember life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

 Alain ;D

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: AFTERNOON SMILE.
« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2007, 07:47:36 AM »
How come we chose from only two people to run for President and over fifty for Miss America?

When I was young we used to go skinny dipping, now I just chunky dunk.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press "CTRL ALT DELETE" and start all over?

 :D

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

hrmmm

Offline Ann

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  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: AFTERNOON SMILE.
« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2007, 09:09:14 AM »
Quote
When I was young we used to go skinny dipping, now I just chunky dunk.

;D hehehehe... I have GOT to remember this one for future use!

Loved them all, aside from the obvious political/religious right propaganda.  ::)

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline lucas clay

  • Member
  • Posts: 518
Re: AFTERNOON SMILE.
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2007, 09:08:10 PM »
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?



this should be funny but the truth is its a sad fact

Offline BT65

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  • Member
  • Posts: 10,093
Re: AFTERNOON SMILE.
« Reply #4 on: May 21, 2007, 09:09:46 PM »
Lucas:
  Check your pm's!
Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

 


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