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Author Topic: need advice  (Read 2957 times)

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Offline sh

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need advice
« on: May 10, 2007, 07:06:50 AM »
hello , i have a question relating to transmmision of hiv.

in the begining of last year i was with a girl and while we were making out my fingers touched her vaginal fluids and then i touched my penis , which was not covered with a condom at that time. used the condom only during intercourse  . after that fear set in that i could be infected with hiv virus and i started to read about it in the net and thats when i found your website . and i was able to allay my fears by reading that hiv does not spraead through mutual masturbation . ( i assume this is what this activity is called ) anyhow i did get tested and tests were pridicatbly negative but a phobia had set in regarding hiv and sex and i had decided not to be sexually invovled with a girl unless we are in a relationship.

all was well , until recently on 30th march , me and a couple of friends were playing strip poker ( another guy and a girl ) and things got a bit steamy . i ended up kissing her , her breasts ( which might have had some vaginal fluids on them as result of her touching her vagina and then her breasts ) , and fingered her and then touched my fingers on my penis which had no protection on , as i did not intend to have intercorse.
in other words there was no intercourse, no oral sex . ( receptive or given)  , there were no cuts that i can think of . anyways i did not think much about it as i had read  in a ur answers as to what is risk and what is not.
and i told myself that i would not undergo the same fears i went through last year till i found this site.
however on 16th april , i had a weird ache at the back of my head on both sides and the next day after the ache had dissapeared i felt feverish but there was no fever , just felt hot and tired. it lasted a couple of days. despite my efforts not to think of it as an hiv situation i cant help thinking that i felt sick exactly during the period when ars mostly occurs. thats the story , now i would be very grateful if u could please assess my risk and if u think i should go for a test . i want to test and put it behind me as my work and life are both suffering. and it has been almost 6 weeks. thank you for the patience

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: need advice
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2007, 07:24:52 AM »
sh,

As you have read, nothing you did was a risk for hiv infection. None of it. Just because you got a headache a few days later doesn't change that fact.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

While you do NOT need to test over this specific incident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Keep using those condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline sh

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  • Posts: 7
Re: need advice
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2007, 09:41:17 PM »
Wheni say "my hands touched my penis " , i am impying that my fingers touched the opening of the penis with her fluids on them but maybe the fluids had dried on my fingers  . does that make any difference .also i toched my penis within a few seconds after i fingered her . also it was not just a mere headache , it was followed by 2 days of a fever like condition where i remember shivering a lot , a week after this there was pain in the groin and armpits which lasted till last week. but i feel the pain in the armpits and the groin is the result of anxiety, also it came a week after the first bout of "fever like condition" , it does not fit in with typical ars scinario .
The girl in question has had about 15 parteners , she said that though she used condoms most of the time there were few times when she had not. my major source of worry is the fact that i fell sick between the second and third week, after being with her, when ars mostly sets in. 
The sexual activities i had described in the previous mail where all that i was engaged in , nothing more nothing less. its been 6 weeks now and i intend to get tested for this but i am really worried. thankyou for the quick response

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: need advice
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2007, 10:26:07 PM »
You're really stretching here to bother yourself. Absolutely none of your fears have any basis in HIV science.

If you are continuing to have troubling symptoms that's something to discuss with your doctor. All you're doing is putting your fears together with a bunch of circumstances and deciding by default that it points to HIV. It doesn't. That's all stuff your mind is coming up with. Really.

If this is all you're worried about testing negative is a foregone conclusion.
Andy Velez

Offline sh

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  • Posts: 7
Re: need advice
« Reply #4 on: May 12, 2007, 05:58:02 AM »

Yes Andy i agree with u . you have summarized the situation quite correctly  , but the way i am seeing it is that i fell sick exactly 2 and a half weeks after a sexual encounter with a girl who has had many partners , some without protection. Assuming she is infected can i not be infected despite my fingers and her fingers ,            ( sorry i forgot to add that she too touched my penis head ) with the vaginal fluids on them touching the unprotected penis head. Are u sure hiv does not spread like that ? Though my fingers are not very long but i fingered her really deep and she was quite wet . really confused and depressed at the moment. any comment would be welcome.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: need advice
« Reply #5 on: May 12, 2007, 06:48:00 AM »
sh,

YES, we're sure hiv isn't spread in the way you are worrying about. It's spread through unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse, not fingers. Yes, we're sure.

You didn't have a risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline sh

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: need advice
« Reply #6 on: May 14, 2007, 12:03:14 AM »

Thankyou Ann for the reply. Though i have utmost respect for the knowledge of the experts here , i know i have to get tested for my peace of mind. I have an appointment for the test today. however before that there are 2 more questions i need to ask.

Before i kissed the girl she sucked my friends penis ( without ejaculation) . i kissed her about 5 minutes after that and she also had some water before i kissed her. now if my friend had hiv , is it possible that the girl had sucked in the hiv cells in her mouth and then  pass it on to me through the kiss . she did have water in between.

Also my face touched/rubbed against the girls inner thighs (not very far from her vagina) for about a second or so on her right leg when i was fingering her . The skin was not wet but it was very damp and sticky. i dont know if it was damp because of her vaginal juices running down or because my friend had gone down on her for a long time and kept kissing her inner thighs so the dampness could also be because of his saliva mixed with her juices . Anyways what i am worried about is that i had shaved that evening atleast 6 hours before this incident . i remember i had nicked myself on the area above my upper lip but i dont remember if it was that evening or a day before , anyhow i dont remember any burning or any pain at all during that evening and there was definitely no bleeding.

sorry for streching it so much , also i did not mention these situations in my earlier post because i did not consider them risky but now that u have told me that hiv does not spread in the manner i was originally scared about these situations suddenly looked more dagerous . i am particularly concerned about the latter situation.
can i be infected if there was a cut on my face and then i touched my face against her vaginal juices on her inner thighs quite close to her vagina.







Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: need advice
« Reply #7 on: May 14, 2007, 01:07:55 AM »
sorry for streching it so much , also i did not mention these situations in my earlier post because i did not consider them risky but now that u have told me that hiv does not spread in the manner i was originally scared about these situations suddenly looked more dagerous . i am particularly concerned about the latter situation.
can i be infected if there was a cut on my face and then i touched my face against her vaginal juices on her inner thighs quite close to her vagina.


Alright Sh, you really need to cut this out.

Nothing you've talked about is even the remotest risk for HIV transmission. Nothing. Not even these last things. You didn't have a risk and no matter how you try and spin it this stuff, it isn't going to change.

It's really time for you to move on. There is nothing more we can do for you.

MtD

Offline sh

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  • Posts: 7
Re: need advice
« Reply #8 on: May 15, 2007, 11:54:03 AM »
Going to collect my results today .Just one last question before that. During my sexual encounter , i had hugged her in  a sitting position . Is it possible to get infected with hiv if my penis had touched her vaginal juices during the time i hugged her . As far as i remember there was no contact between my penis and any part of her skin but if there was , am i at risk. Thanks for your answers so far , it has helped me in dealing with my anxiety.

Offline ACinKC

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Re: need advice
« Reply #9 on: May 15, 2007, 12:01:30 PM »
NO risk what so ever.  Go get your negative results.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline sh

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: need advice
« Reply #10 on: May 17, 2007, 02:48:04 AM »
 The results were negative .  Would like to say thanks to all the experts here for their help .  i am grateful .

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: need advice
« Reply #11 on: May 17, 2007, 05:52:21 AM »
No surprise there, sh, you weren't at risk.

Make sure you use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse and you'll remain hiv negative.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline sh

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: need advice
« Reply #12 on: July 15, 2007, 01:07:43 AM »

a few days back i was with girl. she was giving me a handjob when she touched herself and then used the same fingers/hand on my penis top. i know that she had her periods as she told me. my question is that if it is possible to get infected this way as she might have had blood on her fingers. i know that one cannot be infected through vagainal juices in this manner but what about blood. also she had tonuge and lip piercing. was is it safe to kiss her. do i need to test. kindly advice.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: need advice
« Reply #13 on: July 15, 2007, 05:07:03 AM »
Like all your other questions you were not at risk. Read the lessons on transmission. You can find the link in the "Welcome" thread.

 


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