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How often do you have "one of those days?"

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Optimistic:
Hi Blixer,

Hiv is mentally draining, but after a while you will begin to realize that Hiv is just part of life.  "Prevention is the cure" may not be for us, but it still plays a very important role because there is chance of being reinfected, as well as catching other diseases. 

Just keep in mind that Hiv is not death sentence anymore.....don't let it run your life, but rather take control of the situation and learn from it.  Throughout my journey with Hiv, I have grown and learned so much from this experience that I don't think any education would have thought me what I have been through. And who saids you have to take these pills for the rest of your life....yes it would be true if you believe that the medical and research professions are seemingly pinheads, then you will have to take these pills for the rest of your life......but if you have some faith that doctors and researchers are as smart as they claim to be, then there is hope that one day there will be no need for these pills anymore after a cure is discovered.  Even though it has been 25 years since the discovery of Hiv/Aids, we have managed to supress the virus.....we just need to figure out that one missing link and halleluyah, we would be cured. 

It may be a little more challenging to meet a significant other because of those who are not accepting of Hiv,  but realize that it is not a lost hope.  The fear of rejection and disclosing our status may be freightening, but I have learned that life is full of surprises. Imagine how wonderful it would be to be able to meet someone who accepts you for you. If and when this happens, you know that this person truly loves you for who you are.  Love is a very strange phenomenon, and there is not way of telling what the future holds.  The outcome may not always be what we expect. 

We may have one of those days from time to time, but who doesn't have one of those days.  I think it is good that you are able to express your emotions and ponder about various questions.  Furthermore, tears are a good remedy to relieve stress that has been boggled up on the inside.  But evenrually, we will come to our own conclusion as to dealing with Hiv and with life in general.  My experiences may be different from another person and we all have our own ways of dealing with these problems...soon enough, you will figure out a solution that will fit you. 

Be good to yourself...you will always have a friend here for you.

Justin

bobik:
Hey David

It 'll get better, I promise you.
Looking forward so much to hugging you in Amsterdam!!

Coen

doyourowndamndishes:
Hey David,

What can I say that has not already been said.  Yes, life is a roller coaster ride avec ou sans HIV.  There are always ups and downs.  When I have one of those days (a month ago a broke up with my partner of 5 years..that was "one of those days" for a week-end and it was not an hiv thing) I try to recognize it for what it is.  Next, I simply won't allow myself to fall into that downward spiral of "oh woe is me!"; it's far too easy to go there and I don't like the place I end up in.  As Killfoile mentioned, exercise is a wonderful stress release; some people meditate.  What I "do" to get out of that head space I am not sure I can verbalize.  I think it all depends on the situation you are in and what is causing the dispair but taking your mind off things really does wonders.  Go for a walk; take a book somewhere you consider special read.  I like to journal when I feel I need to write things down and being a calligraphy buff I take out the stylus and ink and away I go. I also felt the need to change routines, mix things up a bit, do things differently so that I don't find myself at home feeling bored or lonely. 

These bad days do pass and time does heal.  Allow yourself the time needed to move on.

Cheers,

Alan

krakerjm:
We all have 'those days' dude, just become less frequent in time.  One day at a time you learn to deal with it and not stress.  There will always be those days, especially when you're alone and bore, it sneaks up on you.  Stay busy and keep your mind occupied.  Right now you have plenty on your plate to keep you busy, just learning for a start.  About the endless dr visits mentioned before, hell at this point in time I look forward to them, haven't much else to do some days, gets me out and around people like me when I wouldn't do it otherwise; in the waiting room at the clinic we are all the same and let our guard down and socialize.

J220:
Of course, we all have those days too. My personal antidote is to tell myself that science is advancing in leaps, and there is every possibility that a cure will be found, if not soon then someday, or at least one of the promising vaccine canditates that may allow us to stay off meds indefinitely will complete the trials and be released for public use- this is closer than we think.

Once I see it that way, I feel a little bit better, and take a deep breath and go back to taking it one day at a time. And by the way, this is not necessarily fooling myself over something that is not there, there are in fact very promising advances in progress.

Next february, for example, the results of a rybozyme trial will be released, this is the one where the patients participating in it have been off meds for a year and have remained undetectable. The link is:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/04/07/AIDS.TMP&type=health

One quote I like from that article:

"It's possible that the stars are lining up on this one,''

If that isn't cause for hope I don't know what is.

J.

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