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Author Topic: Being HIV+ and receiving oral sex......  (Read 7587 times)

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Offline shadow011

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Being HIV+ and receiving oral sex......
« on: May 04, 2007, 12:32:05 PM »
Hi Everyone,

First off I would like to say thank you for all of your insightful posts on this website. I am so glad I've found this place! Thank you.

I know the topic of oral sex has been discussed before, but what I've read was more about HIV+ person giving  oral sex instead on the receiving end. What are the risks for the person giving oral sex to an HIV+ person? Considering I am undetectable, does that lower the risk? Without cuts/bleeding gum in the person's mouth, can I rest assure that infection is zero? What about precum? I can control ejaculation, but not in control of precumming.

I haven't sex in a while.... ;D...and haven't received unprotected oral sex in a long long long time.... I want to experience it again but worry about infecting the other person.

Your input is appreciated. Thank you.

Shadow~

Offline keyite

  • Member
  • Posts: 514
Re: Being HIV+ and receiving oral sex......
« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2007, 12:57:12 PM »
Hi Shadow,

First of, welcome to AM - glad you found the place.

The risk to the other person is low but not zero. Several people on this board, including myself, believe we were infected by giving blowjobs: http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=10457.0

It probably helps that your blood is undetectable but you cannot conclude from that that your semen is undetectable too. The two probably go hand in hand most of the time but not all the time and not for everyone.

It obviously helps that the other person doesn't have cuts or bleeding gums - but I got infected even though I had neither.

Precum contains HIV too but - by virtue of quantity (at least for most guys) - poses a much smaller risk than ejaculating in someone's mouth. Assuming you don't ejaculate in the other person's mouth then I definitely think it's a very low risk activity. However, low risk does not equate no risk.

Offline newt

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,887
  • the one and original newt
Re: Being HIV+ and receiving oral sex......
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2007, 02:13:31 PM »
I disgaree with LOW.

In view of you being on treatment and undetectable, the real risk (as opposed to the theoretical risk) if you don;t blow a wad on his/her dentures is ZERO unless you/he/she has an infection that results in open sores/discharge eg herpes, the usual STI suspects.

Bleeding gums is a red herring, it's the (his/her) tonsils you wanna worry about.

Anyway, I have yet to meet anyone, savvy or stupid about HIV, who though the trade on sucking a condom v low risk nude blow-job favoured the rubber eating.

- matt.
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline Central79

  • Member
  • Posts: 527
Re: Being HIV+ and receiving oral sex......
« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2007, 02:30:36 PM »
Hey Shadow

First of all welcome to the forums - it's a good place to find both support and information on pretty much anything to do with HIV.

I read your question with interest - as it seems to solely address your worries about the possibility of infecting another person, rather than inform any decision you might make about disclosure? Am I right in assuming that you plan to disclose before letting somebody go down on you?

I think that as long as you disclose, you minimise the risk. It allows the other person to actively think about the state of their oral health, and also to make an informed choice about the level of risk that is acceptable to them in the context of their life. You can then modify what you do in bed so it's acceptable to both of you and you both have fun - I have had really positive experiences from this kind of negotiation.

That issue aside, and just looking at your own piece of mind I agree with Keyite that the risk of infection to a person performing oral sex on an HIV+ person is low. There are obviously varying degrees of lowness, which you can argue the toss about all day. It's low enough for me, as an HIV+ guy who is sure he was infected through oral sex to be pretty relaxed about letting my HIV - boyfriend blow me. I accept I was very unlucky. We are both very aware of his oral health - including bleeding gums/ulcers/dental work. Bleeding gums is assumed to be a risk factor - hence the advice that not to perform oral sex after flossing or brushing of teeth.

HIV is present in precum. And whilst the HIV load in your semen and precum is generally related to the viral load in your blood, it is not always - it's possible to have a high viral burden in semen and be undetectable.

Anyway, it's good that you're thinking about this stuff. My experience of disclosure when I was single was pretty positive, and I got plenty of head!

Take care,

Matt.

Diagnosed January 2006
26/1/06 - 860 (22%), VL > 500,000
24/4/06 - 820 (24.6%), VL 158,000
13/7/06 - 840 (22%), VL 268,000
1/11/06 - 680 (21%), VL 93,100
29/1/07 - 1,020 (27.5%), VL 46,500
15/5/07 - 1,140 (22.8%), VL not done.
13/10/07 - 759 (23.2%), VL 170,000
6/11/07 - 630 (25%), VL 19,324
14/1/08 - 650 (21%), VL 16,192
15/4/08 - 590 (21%), VL 40, 832

Offline cubbybear

  • Member
  • Posts: 510
  • Joined August 2005.
Re: Being HIV+ and receiving oral sex......
« Reply #4 on: May 04, 2007, 07:00:42 PM »
In view of you being on treatment and undetectable, the real risk (as opposed to the theoretical risk) if you don;t blow a wad on his/her dentures is ZERO unless you/he/she has an infection that results in open sores/discharge eg herpes, the usual STI suspects.

Bleeding gums is a red herring, it's the (his/her) tonsils you wanna worry about.

- matt.


I agree with Matt.
There's a bear in there!
Positive since 2000
Diagnosed 17/9/2005 CD4 35 VL 293,000
Meds 23/9/2005 Sustiva/Truvada
Currently CD4 232 VL Undetectable

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,239
  • Ninja Please
Re: Being HIV+ and receiving oral sex......
« Reply #5 on: May 04, 2007, 07:03:24 PM »
Matty the Damned also agrees with Newt (Matt) in his assessment of this. Humans don't have theoretical sex, they have real sex and in real terms the risk is zero.

Welcome to AIDSMEDS, by the way. ;)

MtD

Offline ndrew

  • Member
  • Posts: 695
  • ....-.-.-.-.-.....
Re: Being HIV+ and receiving oral sex......
« Reply #6 on: May 04, 2007, 10:39:48 PM »
Drew agrees with the latter Matt, Matty and Cubbybear.

Offline cubbybear

  • Member
  • Posts: 510
  • Joined August 2005.
Re: Being HIV+ and receiving oral sex......
« Reply #7 on: May 05, 2007, 12:36:22 AM »
Drew agrees with the latter Matt, Matty and Cubbybear.

Who is also a Matt :P
There's a bear in there!
Positive since 2000
Diagnosed 17/9/2005 CD4 35 VL 293,000
Meds 23/9/2005 Sustiva/Truvada
Currently CD4 232 VL Undetectable

Offline NewYorkKat

  • Member
  • Posts: 134
  • Hangin' On Staying Strong
Re: Being HIV+ and receiving oral sex......
« Reply #8 on: May 05, 2007, 12:39:21 PM »
Shadow, I know how you feel and trust me, We all want to give and get head without a rubber. It feels and tastes great. However, worry can prevent us from doing so. I would suggest that if you are fearful about oral sex you have 2 choices: 1. Use a condom 2. don't do it all.

This topic comes up a lot and some already know I feel about. HIV is not only a great concern though the chances are slim. There are other "bugs" and since our immune systems are already fighting a battle, we just need to be extra careful.


Offline otherplaces

  • Member
  • Posts: 398
  • Mutant Super Hero
Re: Being HIV+ and receiving oral sex......
« Reply #9 on: May 05, 2007, 02:37:21 PM »

I'm heading for the bomb shelter...

Offline puertorico2006

  • Member
  • Posts: 957
Re: Being HIV+ and receiving oral sex......
« Reply #10 on: May 05, 2007, 02:44:09 PM »
I prefer option 2 over option 1 if those are the only choices....although there is an option 3 but newyork didnt post it, but it is obvious :-)

-josh
(who hates the taste of even flavored condoms)
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline NewYorkKat

  • Member
  • Posts: 134
  • Hangin' On Staying Strong
Re: Being HIV+ and receiving oral sex......
« Reply #11 on: May 05, 2007, 09:15:33 PM »
Well We all thought we were Superman or Wonder Woman now we are living with HIV.......

Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Re: Being HIV+ and receiving oral sex......
« Reply #12 on: May 05, 2007, 09:57:15 PM »
Well We all thought we were Superman or Wonder Woman now we are living with HIV.......
I'm still both :D

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Zanarkand

  • Member
  • Posts: 96
  • All Your Base Are Belong To Us
Re: Being HIV+ and receiving oral sex......
« Reply #13 on: May 06, 2007, 02:28:51 PM »
This troubles me a lot....  :-\
All Your Base Are Belong To Us

Offline shadow011

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: Being HIV+ and receiving oral sex......
« Reply #14 on: May 07, 2007, 02:13:19 PM »
Hi everyone

Thank you for your responses.
All your inputs are being taken into consideration. Not sure where I stand because all your reponses are worth thinking about.

PS. disclosure is not an issue here. It's the thought of infect someone is what scary. So, my mr. happy has to hold off being happy for a little longer.  ;D

Thanks again, you guys/ladies are great!
have a good day,
Shadow~

 


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