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Author Topic: newbie here. scared, worried, afraid, newbie, that is.  (Read 1952 times)

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Offline neverthesame1

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  • Posts: 3
newbie here. scared, worried, afraid, newbie, that is.
« on: May 03, 2007, 01:19:57 PM »
Hi all,
I am a 30 year old hetero male. Never tested before despite a moderately wild college and early 20s experience. I am married and have a child.

4 weeks ago my 2.5 year old son was taken ill by what turned out to be a bout of pneumonia. I didn't think much of it at first as I just chalked it up to the day care he attends. But after a few days, I started wondering and did some research. Any internet search of "pneumonia" very quickly leads you to HIV/AIDS. That really made me nervous, so I started looking at symptoms of HIV in adults. I was surprised to read about peripheral neuropathy, as the sensation of tingling or burning in the feet and legs and hands is something I experience on occasion. To be honest, I have HSV (I tend to get very mild, yet more frequent outbreaks as opposed to severe ones) and always just assumed the sensation was associated with that, similar to the prodromal stage. However, when I saw "peripheral neuropathy" as a symptom of HIV, I really started freaking out. I spent literally 8-10 hours a day for the next few days "symptom searching" and being hyper-tense and anxious. Within a couple of days, I woke up sweating at night. This was 2.5 weeks ago, and has happened almost every night since then. They aren't the drenching type of sweats, but that may be because I seem to wake up every hour or two at night these days wondering if I am sweating.
 
Several days later, I woke up with an upset, rumbling/gurgling stomach. I figured it would subside, but after a day and one bout of diarrhea, I took quite a bit of pepto-bismol. Now, I am rather constipated and the stomach still seems to be upset (1.5 weeks later) but it is better. Despite the constipation and what I believe to be a pretty typical/normal diet and appetite for me, I have lost about 8 pounds and it is continuing.
 
Unfortunately there are no locations here that do the rapid test anonymously. I have taken the Home Access test and await the results, but as you can imagine, I am completely freaking out due to what I am experiencing. At first I thought that anxiety and stress could be causing the night sweats and the upset stomach, but the weight loss is what really has me thinking that all of this points to HIV, and not a recent infection--but rather, a later stage of the disease. My wife has taken an HIV test in the past few years, it was negative and she doesn't recall ever having acute stage symptoms.
 
I guess what I am curious and worried about is if it's possible to be feeling normal and well and then have all of these symptoms hit me almost immediately? I literally felt fine and normal for me 3.5 weeks ago; now I feel like HIV has taken over and I am so scared. Is it normal in the later stages (symptomatic stage) to have these symptoms just come on all at once like they have for me? I have spent between 5-8 hours everyday for the past couple of weeks reading about HIV and AIDS. I know I have it, and I guess my GI tract is being targeted (hence the upset stomach and weight loss).
 
I will get my test results soon, but they will just confirm that I have this disease. I guess it is only a question now of how much longer I have to live.

thanks,

never the same

Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,288
Re: newbie here. scared, worried, afraid, newbie, that is.
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2007, 01:33:25 PM »
You can not diagnosis HIV via symptoms. PN is not specific to HIV. PN can be caused by trauma, pinched nerves and some medications. Just relax and wait on your test results.

Offline ACinKC

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  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: newbie here. scared, worried, afraid, newbie, that is.
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2007, 01:38:24 PM »
So after your son got sick you researched his symptoms then that led to other symptoms and THEN you started having them.

You do NOT get HIV from surfing the internet.  But you do get STRESSED from surfing the internet which causes ALL of the symptoms you describe.  Stay OFF the internet in regards to HIV and get over the fear, and the symptoms will disappear!  Trust me on this one.

I'd bet my entire years salary you dont have it.

Please try and save the "i have this disease, how long do i have to live" drama.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Posts: 24,706
Re: newbie here. scared, worried, afraid, newbie, that is.
« Reply #3 on: May 03, 2007, 01:50:58 PM »
You're rather vague about your sexual history in college and otherwise. If you are more specific it would be helpful in evaluating your situation. For instance did you have either unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse?

Otherwise nothing you have reported and over which you are driving yourself nutz is in any way HIV specifc.

Please clarify regarding the details.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline neverthesame1

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: newbie here. scared, worried, afraid, newbie, that is.
« Reply #4 on: May 03, 2007, 02:01:54 PM »
Hi Andy,

Yes, I had unprotected vaginal intercourse....unfortunately, more often than not. No anal, however. From my time perusing this forum and a few others online, my situation is somewhat different than the typical "I am worried I have HIV" post in that I am concerned about not a recent exposure, but rather I am concerned given what I am experiencing right now that I am not in the acute stage but instead the symptomatic stage due to my night sweats and rather quick weight loss. My son, aside from the pneumonia, is developmentally on target, but I am still worried that either I am HIV+, that I was HIV+ and didn't know it and infected my wife before giving birth to my son, or I was HIV+ and gave it to her after she gave birth to him and she possibly passed it on through breastfeeding. I know that may sound ridiculous, but either the mind is an insanely powerful muscle and is causing me to experience some pretty clear HIV-related symptoms or I actually have had HIV for some time and never knew it.


Offline Bucko

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  • You need a shine, missy!
    • The Spin Cycle
Re: newbie here. scared, worried, afraid, newbie, that is.
« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2007, 02:04:37 PM »
The way I'm reading it, your "symptoms" sound like stress reactions, but I am not a doctor and no one can diagnose anything over the internet anyway.

When will you receive your results?

Brent
(Who understands stress all too well)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline ACinKC

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  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: newbie here. scared, worried, afraid, newbie, that is.
« Reply #6 on: May 03, 2007, 02:11:10 PM »
. I know that may sound ridiculous, but either the mind is an insanely powerful muscle and is causing me to experience some pretty clear HIV-related symptoms

I'd personally bet large sums of money on this.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline neverthesame1

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: newbie here. scared, worried, afraid, newbie, that is.
« Reply #7 on: May 04, 2007, 04:39:51 PM »
I wanted to thank you all for your time and thoughts in responding to me. I wanted to let you know that I called to get my Home Access test results today, and they were negative.

HOWEVER, like most people that have convinced themselves they have this disease and then test negative, now I am full of questions.....is the Home Access test reliable? I have read that with the ELISA test there really is no chance of a false negative (only a microscopic chance for a false positive)....but is it possible they "screwed up"? I didn't think I would be one that doubts my result when I got it, but now I question even my news of a negative....

Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: newbie here. scared, worried, afraid, newbie, that is.
« Reply #8 on: May 04, 2007, 04:43:28 PM »
Fortunately your feelings arent facts.  The test is a fact.

If you cant get past it... please seek the help of a mental health professional.  I dont know what you would expect US to say.  We know your negative.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

 


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