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Author Topic: Well, I told my parents – not good  (Read 3645 times)

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Offline jimw

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  • Posts: 109
Well, I told my parents – not good
« on: May 02, 2007, 08:59:08 AM »
I have been anguishing over whether or not to tell my parents about my HIV status.  I have picked up the phone a half dozen times to tell them and then just ended up talking about the usual stuff.  Well last night was different – I told them.

My mom said that she has never approved of my life style choice.  She also said that but for my actions, I would not be infected.  Like DUH!  My dad said absolutely nothing. 

I don’t know what I was expecting them to do or say.  I did not expect them to be supportive, I figured they would need time to absorb it, but I did not expect to be attacked.  (my guess is they are changing the will today)  Interestingly though, I am not that sad or depressed over it - I am a little bummed.  I glad I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow. 

I wanted them to know, while I am not proud of some of the things I have done in the past, I am not ashamed of having HIV.  I think that is why I told them – I probably would have told them if I had diabetes, cancer, a heart condition, or some other disease – so why would I not tell them I had HIV – except that I was afraid of the stigma attached to the disease.

I am a member of Pos Peddlers, a group of bike riders who participate in AIDS related fundraising events.  The group, and I am committed to eliminating the stigma of living with this disease and to expand awareness and recognition of people living with HIV/AIDS.  So, how could I be a member of this group and not tell my parents?  I had to.

Offline milker

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2007, 09:08:52 AM »
Hi Jim,

congratulations for having the "balls" to disclose to your parents. This is a big burden that is now past you and you can move on. Her initial reaction? well, it could have been different at a different time of the day, the way you describe it didn't seem too bad, even though you would have preferred that she told you it's ok and she cared about you rather than rehashing the old "lifestyle, gay, hiv" thing. You said in a previous post that her best friend's son died of AIDS, which may be part of the problem. Don't be too bummed, it's time for education and explaining to her what has your life been for the last year and that you count on her for her support.

{{{{ HUGZ }}}}

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Peter6836

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  • Me and my Granddaughter Noa
Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2007, 09:14:01 AM »
I applaud your being authentic with your self and your parents. I acknowledge the dignity of your actions, and I admire your courage. This disease takes so much away from us. We owe it to ourselves to live our lives with integrity. I thank you for your disclosure story, although I wish it would have gone better. I send you my support and love, keep doing the good things.
Peter

Offline Moffie65

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2007, 09:24:10 AM »
Gee Jim,

My Mom once said that she didn't approve of my lifestyle choice, to which I replied, "Mom, you've known all along that I was gay and it wasn't a choice of mine, who in their right mind would choose to be gay in this society?"  She squirmed and then agreed that she always knew.

I must congratulate you and remind you that part of claiming this disease as our own is to disclose to our family.  HIV isn't what we are, nor does it define us in any way, so getting to the place of personal acceptance is very much wrapped up in our families' knowledge and our own embrace of the facts.

Love,
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline mjmel

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2007, 09:26:25 AM »
Jim, give them some time to adjust and digest this news. Sometimes we humans can blurt things out on the onset of sudden shock. I say this because I want them to be supportive of you. I don't want you to continue being diappointed and I feel you deserve better for being an honest and courageous individual. Just like they raised you to be.
Hugs,
Mike

Offline xyahka

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #5 on: May 02, 2007, 09:33:14 AM »
Hi, i want to congratulate you for what you did. It was the rigth thing, and right thing are not always appreciated by others (or we think like that). The thing is, remember once one discloses it is a big hit for others (i recently had to disclose to a girl in a bank where i was having troubles so she could understand my problems... and she ended up almost crying). First reactions are difficult... but i want to tell you this... don't take the wrong meanning of what your parents said... for instance i think you father could not speak because he was in a shock, he must have loved you too much and just didn't know what to say... i don't take it as he was angry... perhaps he might look like that.. but in fact i think he was just suffering inside.
When i told my mother, and the week after it she constantly told me the "i told you" stuff, but my counsellor had already mentioned to me: "you have to understand and expect she will react like that... every mother is entitled to say it, it is like once you become mother you are programmed to use the - i told you - with your children all the time".

She was right, mother used the i told you several times, but it was different... she still used same words, but in fact what she was meaning "for God sake if i could change that... if i could take that virus away from you". My advice...stay close to your parents now... you might not seeing it but they suffer... a lot... and they also might feel guilty for what you face now, cause our parents usually feel "they have to" do everything to keep us well... and when things like this happen.. they think "what did i do wrong?". It takes time for them to process this... it was same with us huh? we have to understand them and now it is your chance to support them. My mother for exemple... never cried, i never saw her crying, but later i understood it was not what i was seeing, mother is so afraid that her tears would pull me down and sick that she cries and suffer when i am not there..... you parents might be facing same too...

I took my mother with me to couple of counsellor meetings, that helped her to deal a bit more with this plus they need more info about the illness to know how they can help us and to understand we are not doomed to die. One more time i congratulate you, you did the right thing...hiv devastated all of us and we took time to rebuilt our lives.. now it is time to give a hand to your parents. Hugs, all the best!
13/03/07 1er diagnóstico /Peso: 79kg
19/04/07 CD4: 494 /CViral: ?? /Peso: 80kg
19/07/07 CD4: 659 /CViral: ?? /Peso: 79.5kg
06/03/08 CD4: 573 (después de meses muy deprimido) /CViral: ?? /Peso: 79kg
17/09/08 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 84Kg
06/02/09 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 85Kg /HCV: Neg /HBV: Neg.
07/03/09 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 87Kg / Gym 3días/semana y Natación 2días/semana.
12/05/09 CD4: 470 /Cviral: ?? /Peso: 87Kg.
08/07/09 CD4: ? /CViral: ? /Peso: 77Kg.
09/12/09 CD4: 510 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg. No medicinas aún
10/01/10 CD4: ? /CViral: ? /Peso: 76Kg.
15/05/10 CD4: 320 /CViral: ? /Peso: 76Kg.
01/02/11 CD4: 291 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg.
05/05/11 CD4: 366 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg.
27/07/11 CD4: 255 /CViral: 138000 /Peso: 78kg.

Disfrutando y aceptando una nueva vida...

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #6 on: May 02, 2007, 09:53:09 AM »
As painful as it may be, please try and remember the type of news you are delivering to your parents. Out of the blue, with little or no chance to digest what they might believe to be a death sentence to their son...as difficult as it may be try and put yourself in their shoes.

I remember delivering the same news to my father over fifteen years ago when I was at my lowest and really needed emotional support and understanding. His response was "I hope you learned your lesson," we didn't speak for over five years. My mother's own illness forced me to make a decision of forgiveness basing it on, that sometimes no matter how bleak things might be, it isn't always about me. It forced me to do some soul searching about how I would handle things if I were in their shoes. I reopened communication and things could not be better.

A week ago I hosted an eightieth birthday party for my dad, we talk, we laugh and through my actions he doesn't fear my HIV any more than I do. His words ended up being more prophetic than either of us could have imagined..."I hope you learned your lesson," we both did and it has nothing to do with aids.

Just my little anecdote, nothing more or nothing less, but maybe just a bit of hope for a brighter future.

Hal
« Last Edit: May 02, 2007, 09:54:47 AM by Dachshund »

Offline David_CA

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  • Joined: March 2006
Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #7 on: May 02, 2007, 10:09:43 AM »
Hi Jim,

You did the right thing for YOU.  You've been bothered by not telling them for a while, so now that part is over with.  Like others have said, give them some time.  I don't have children, so I don't know exactly what a parent feels, but I know that it's hard on them to learn that something -anything- is effecting their children negatively in any way.  Like everybody, they often have a hard time expressing what they feel to those that they care about.  Once they see that you are still you, that you're doing ok, that you haven't changed, and when they've had some time to come to terms with it, I'm sure that they will come around.  You deserve a hug and a pat on the back; nothing about this virus is easy.  Take care.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline Life

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  • Member 2005
Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #8 on: May 02, 2007, 10:12:18 AM »
Jim, You have done the absolutely the right thing by disclosing.   That weight has been lifted.   Now its up to your parents to put two and two together, or not...   Do not feel dismayed.   If something were to happen and you did not tell them, where would you be? You have disclosed about a DISEASE and nothing more.    If they are hung up on your lifestyle, well, they are the ones that need to come out of the closet.   That is just my two cents.   I do not have alot of sympathy for judgemental parents.    I think you did great!  Lets see what happens now since the box is open...

Hugs,


Eric

Offline jimw

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  • Posts: 109
Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #9 on: May 02, 2007, 10:15:53 AM »
Thanks everyone for your support.  It means so much to have that.

I called my sister to tell her that I had told mom and dad so she would not be caught off guard and she gave me a hard time - I forgot that yesterday was their anniversary - I am such a shitty son - I told them on their anniversary that I had HIV!!!!  That's one hell of a present!  Oh well, what is done is done - admittedly the timing could have been better ( but its not like they ever celebrate it anyway).

I know that it will take them some time to absorb this, and it really was better to tell them over the phone rather than in person.  I just wish I had remembered that yesterday was their anniversary - I feel like a shit about that.

Anyway, I really appreciate your support on this.  Thanks, Jim  

Offline northernguy

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #10 on: May 02, 2007, 10:24:20 AM »
Jim, don't be too hard on yourself, you had a lot of things on your mind and their anniversary couldn't have been right up there.  Congrats on having the courage to make this disclosure.  For various reasons, I haven't been able to cross that bridge.
Apr 28/06 cd4 600 vl 10,600 cd% 25
Nov 8/09 cd4 510 vl 49,5000 cd% 16
Jan 16/10 cd4 660 vl 54,309 cd% 16
Feb 17/10 Started Atripla
Mar 7/10 cd4 710 vl 1,076 cd% 21
Apr 18/10 cd4 920 vl 268 cd% 28
Jun 19/10 cd4 450 vl 60 cd% 25
Aug 15/10 cd4 680 vl 205 cd% 27
Apr 3/11 cd4 780 vl <40 cd% 30
Jul 17/11 cd4 960 vl <40 cd%33
April 15/12 cd4 1,010 vl <40 cd% 39
April 20/12 Switched to Viramune + Truvada
Aug 2/12 cd4 1040, vl <40, cd% 38
Oct 19 cd4 1,110 vl <40 cd% 41

Offline Life

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  • Member 2005
Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #11 on: May 02, 2007, 11:05:28 AM »
Oh Shit!  ;D   I would have done the same thing... No clue about birthdays, Anniversaries etc...  Just be sure to be accessible to them and teach them alittle hiv 101 class..  Do not allow this door to close, cuz it usually is a bit sticky to get it back open again.   Keep the dialog goinig.    Hang tuff young Man!

Hugs,


Eric

Dan J.

  • Guest
Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #12 on: May 02, 2007, 12:43:42 PM »
Give your parents some time to let the news sink in. It took a long time for my parents to accept the fact that they have an hiv+ son.  Sometimes the don't give me the support I need or understand, but they are there for me & I hope that your parents will be there for you. 

(((((((((HUG)))))))

Dan

Offline racingmind

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #13 on: May 02, 2007, 12:52:02 PM »
I'm glad that you were able to do something that I am not nearly ready to do.  I would like to tell my family but fear that I will be looked upon differently.  I wish I was stronger.
Tested Negative: 5/06
Tested Positive: 9/06 
9/06: CD4: 442 (28%) VL: +100,000
10/06: CD4: 323 (25%) VL: 243,440
11/06: CD4: 405 (28%) VL: 124,324
12/06: CD4: 450 (29%) VL: 114,600
1/07: CD4: 440 (27%) VL: 75,286
3/07: CD4: 459 (30%) VL: 44,860
5/07: CD4: 353 (24%) VL: 50,852
7/07: CD4: 437 (29%) VL: 39,475
9/07: CD4: 237 (32%) VL: 372,774
10/07: CD4: 324 (27%) VL: 115,454 
Started Atripla: 10/07
11/07: CD4: 524 (?%) VL: Undetectable!
2/08: CD4: 653 (35%) VL: undetectable
5/08: CD4: 822 (40%) VL: undetectable
8/08: CD4: 626 (35%) VL: undetectable
12/08: CD4: 619 (36%) VL: undetectable
3/09: CD4: 802 (38%) VL: undetectable
7/09: CD4: 1027 (43%) VL: not tested
10/09: CD4: 1045 (43%) VL: undetectable

Offline MarkInSF

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #14 on: May 02, 2007, 01:53:52 PM »
Hi Jim

First  I want to say congratulations on disclosing your status to your parents.  I'm not even at that point yet, it's like coming out to your parents all over again.  My parents dont approve of my lifestyle either and I know if I told them I have AIDS, they would completely breakdown.  I dont think I could ever tell them. 

Offline jimw

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #15 on: May 02, 2007, 02:36:33 PM »
thanks again everyone.  to tell you the truth, I am having "buyers remorse".  I have no idea how I am going to contact them again and if I should ignore the topic and let them bring it up or bring it up myself.  I don't want this to change our relationship, such as it is.  I guess the one thing I did get out of it is knowing how my mother really felt about me being gay, but it wasn't like I didn't know already - I was 10 years into a relationship before they sent him a Christmas card and then they sent him a separate card - I got an invitation to my nephew's wedding addressed to me only - which we both declined.  Anyway, thanks again for all the support.  Jim

Modified to add:
And they have never visited me in NY - I guess they did not want to be exposed to my "life style". 
« Last Edit: May 02, 2007, 02:39:18 PM by jimw »

Offline DanielMark

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #16 on: May 02, 2007, 03:38:26 PM »
Life style? Bless their hearts.  ::)

Sorry you got such a cold reception to your news, Jim.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline David_CA

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #17 on: May 02, 2007, 03:54:46 PM »
thanks again everyone.  to tell you the truth, I am having "buyers remorse".  I have no idea how I am going to contact them again and if I should ignore the topic and let them bring it up or bring it up myself.  I don't want this to change our relationship, such as it is.  I guess the one thing I did get out of it is knowing how my mother really felt about me being gay, but it wasn't like I didn't know already - I was 10 years into a relationship before they sent him a Christmas card and then they sent him a separate card - I got an invitation to my nephew's wedding addressed to me only - which we both declined.  Anyway, thanks again for all the support.  Jim

Modified to add:
And they have never visited me in NY - I guess they did not want to be exposed to my "life style". 

Give them some time.  I'd just act 'normal' the next time you talk to them... it'll help to make less of an issue of it to them.  Perhaps when they see that you're still the same person they'll act 'normal' to you as well.  My family's biggest issue was that I had known that I was HIV+ for 8 months before I told them and that I felt I couldn't tell them.  Who knows how long it would have taken if I hadn't ended up in the hospital with PCP.  The only way that I could explain it was that it had taken me that long to accept it myself and that I couldn't ask them to accept it until I did.  Becoming HIV+ was my mom's biggest fear when I told her that I was gay, so it was obviously a difficult conversation to have.

I dealt with being invited to a relatives wedding alone, too, by one side of my family.  When I asked if my partner was invited, I was told no.  Needless to say, I didn't attend.  My sister found out about this and boycotted it as well.  Since then, things have improved.  There was also a period when I wasn't invited to holiday get-togethers with my hubby's family.  All this has changed.  I think that all the parents involved here figured that it was either both of us or neither of us.  Take care.

David

Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline newt

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #18 on: May 02, 2007, 05:07:56 PM »
Good on you

I told my mum and she said "Don't be silly, you just have a little bit of AIDS, iit;ll go away soon"

- matt
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #19 on: May 02, 2007, 05:59:13 PM »
Dear Jim

I think you did good telling your parents and I think also that you can call and speak to them again and tell them what you told us about the anniversary and the regrets and the need for their support and that you love them and that you will be there for them when they need your support too in the future. I don't mean that you need to excuse or justify yourself. It's not about that. It's about love and family and the fact that life is too short. I tried to write this as I feel it, being careful because I don''t know what it is like to be gay and disappoint my parents in this way which of course you have no control of (and nor should you have any control of), but I do know what it is to cause grief, and I also know that I had no choice in many of the things that I did in my past which my parents really disapproved of. Also I know how maddening it is to have people think HIV is a punishment for something. It's ridiculous and preposterous and all the "ous" word I can think of. But under all this infuriating crap, I think you & your parents love each other and hope that you can eventually work with that love. At least I want to believe that. Please forgive me if I am too naiive.

All the best to you,
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline mudman8

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #20 on: May 02, 2007, 06:39:04 PM »
Go on with life as normal with them, they may become more supportive over time. Mine have. when I was in the hospital or serious sicknesses but they now forget and think I look alright so they want me to go back to work, I can't give up my SSI and medicare as no small company will afford my health insurance, they  just don't understand. 

I still go down about once a month to visit and dad now has memory problems. they are 85 and need me as much as I need them. Hope your parents come around to understand you.
Life is analog

Offline ndrew

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #21 on: May 02, 2007, 07:11:16 PM »
It is always good when one of us takes time out of our busy schedules styling hair, clothes and lives, to throw cold water on our naked, newborn parents.

Thank you for your being in the world!

Luv and support,
Drew

Offline otherplaces

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #22 on: May 02, 2007, 07:23:00 PM »

Sorry it didn't go as well as you had hoped.  But I have no doubt you'll gain an enormous amount of strength from the experience.

much love,
brian


Offline edfu

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #23 on: May 02, 2007, 07:36:13 PM »
Not trying to one-up anyone here, but my dear departed Mother, a staunchly conservative Roman Catholic, said:  "God is punishing you.  Not only will you die a horrible death, but you will burn in hell forever."  Shortly thereafter, she lost her mind to Alzheimer's and died a horrible death, which was as painful for me to watch as witnessing the deaths of  my PWA friends who have died since 1982.

Religion is such a wonderful thing.   
"No one will ever be free so long as there are pestilences."--Albert Camus, "The Plague"

"Mankind can never be free until the last brick in the last church falls on the head of the last priest."--Voltaire

Offline BT65

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #24 on: May 02, 2007, 08:16:40 PM »
Good for you, Jim for telling your parents.  I don't remember bd's, anniversaries, and rarely even some holidays.  You told them when you were supposed to tell them.  Just trust the universe. :o
Peace-
Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Iggy

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #25 on: May 02, 2007, 08:28:22 PM »
Jim,

My father told me once that he wished I got AIDS...I'm really not certain though who got the last laugh on that one since of all the wishes he had for me that was the one I came closest to fulfilling.  I bet if he knew he was only gonna get one wish fulfillment out of me he would have chosen more wisely.

Quote
thanks again everyone.  to tell you the truth, I am having "buyers remorse".  I have no idea how I am going to contact them again and if I should ignore the topic and let them bring it up or bring it up myself.  I don't want this to change our relationship,

First - I completely understand the buyers remorse feeling - because now is the real hard part - no more pretending on either sides part about what the reality is - and that is hard, but I think you realize that it's worth it for your own sanity.

Second - Are you sure you don't want to change your relationship?


Offline Angel-Ronnie

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #26 on: May 04, 2007, 02:02:49 AM »
Jim,

I can fully relate to your situation I was diagnosed last year may on my mothers birthday and by then I was not on speaking terms with my parents and still am not. In past years I always had to hear from my mother because I was always thin my whole life and the words hammered in me. She always told my brothers and family "you look like you have aids" My brother always said if I had to be diagnosed with aids that I would take my own life.

hell no life is beautiful and I am still here the thought of taking my own life never crossed my mind once. I then wrote my mother a poem last year and sent it to her via e-mail ten minutes later i get a phone call at work and was sworn to another dimension. I then did the thing since I tried to reach out to her and she had this shit attitude I then disclosed to her on e-mail and yes that was it I have not heard from her or my father since then. But i hear different stories from my friends that is also friends of my parents but they know the truth and you know they will come to terms with it eventually. Yes i miss them toady but then again I don't miss the arguments and fights that mom and I had.

Like cat and dog week in and week out it started driving me nuts. I must say that if it wasn't for the friends i have in my life I don't know if I would have coped with hiv so well. And the people who do know don't treat me any differrently than before we are closer know than ever.

You did the right thing by telling because it is one less thing to stress about. You are in my thoughts as I know it is not easy dealing with hiv and you don't have your family who you so dearly love next to you to support you.

Keep your chin up it will reslove someday and you will be stronger than what they would be.

Angel
Bide the Wiccan law ye must,
In perfect love and perfect trust
Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill
An' ye harm none, do what ye will.

What ye send forth comes back to thee,
so ever mind the Law of three,
follow this with mind and heart,
Merry ye meet, and merry ye part.

Offline aztecan

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Re: Well, I told my parents – not good
« Reply #27 on: May 04, 2007, 03:30:46 PM »
I remember my mother's reaction when I told her I was a possie. She didn't say much, just nodded her head.

I learned later she cried her eyes out for a couple of days after that. I felt terrible and told her so. She said no, she wanted to know and to be there for me should I need her.

I felt better.

Now, she just asks how I'm doing, feeling, eating, etc., every time we talk. I guess I am a lucky guy.

Give your folks a bit of time. They may come around.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

 


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