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Author Topic: new topic... suicide is painless  (Read 4283 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline lydgate

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,022
  • Virgin, can't drive
new topic... suicide is painless
« on: June 25, 2006, 01:42:40 AM »
So I called the suicide helpline tonight. Third time in three months. Whataweakling, right? Right. I don't know what's going on. You know what? Shouting at my HMO helps.
Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

George Eliot, Middlemarch, final paragraph

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,160
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #1 on: June 25, 2006, 01:48:56 AM »
Jay,

Bubeleh! What the greasy poop is going on? You know my Yahoo! messenger? Buzz me! I'm here to chat whenever you need to.

MtD
(Who knows about this stuff)

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #2 on: June 25, 2006, 01:51:26 AM »
Suicide is only painless for the guy offing himself. If then.

You must have WAY more faith in your religion than I do :)

Seriously, what's the dilly? Talk to us.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Sdgirl

  • Member
  • Posts: 247
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #3 on: June 25, 2006, 01:57:48 AM »
Hey, I don't know you but I am not feeling great about what you said in your thread, I am always here if you need to talk, sometimes a stranger is a new found friend.

All my contact information is in my profile.  ANYTIME....

Lisa
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves.."Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?"

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,160
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #4 on: June 25, 2006, 01:59:23 AM »
See Babe? Three of the most fabulous members of AIDSMEDS are at your beck and call! You're not alone Jay.

MtD

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,921
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #5 on: June 25, 2006, 08:54:38 AM »
No lectures-just listening. We are hear when you need us. Give us a try.

Hal

Offline kcmetroman

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #6 on: June 25, 2006, 09:01:11 AM »
Hey there..

There is always a solution.  Trish and I are just down the road in KC.... If you need to talk face to face, please let us know.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,193
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #7 on: June 25, 2006, 09:57:52 AM »
Suicide is never painless.

Offline Christine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,069
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #8 on: June 25, 2006, 10:01:39 AM »
Whataweakling, right?

No, just the opposite. Smart and strong. You recognized something was bothering you, and you reached out for a helping hand. Very smart.

You can reach out here too. We want to help.
Christine
Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 23,859
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #9 on: June 25, 2006, 10:06:29 AM »
Jay, how did you get the idea that asking for help means you're a "weakling"?

Tell us some more about what's going on.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #10 on: June 25, 2006, 10:29:56 AM »
Quote
Suicide is never painless.

Especially for those left behind.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #11 on: June 25, 2006, 11:15:50 AM »
Hi ......Gosh...I don't know you that well but here on AIDSMEDS there is so much support.
 MY observation is this:  a close friend of mine who has been on every HIV drug known to man and who has suffered a lot from side effects and OI's....was admitted to the psych wing of the hospital because he was suicidal.  It turned out that his anti depressants were messing him up mentaly.  After he and his doctor worked out the right prescriptions and doses he was FINE!!!!!!
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline CalvinC

  • Member
  • Posts: 143
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #12 on: June 25, 2006, 12:22:52 PM »

Hey Jay

Suicide is not painless for those you leave behind. Take a moment and consider them; it helps to get outside your head.

And you do sense this, otherwise you would not call a hotline. Do you have access to resources in your town? You're a smart guy and you know how the system works, so take adavantage of it.

Suicide is often an idealization that helps us cope. But if you are finding it overwhelming, please please please seek help, beyond hotlines, and beyond us, who are behind you 100%.

Andrew

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #13 on: June 25, 2006, 02:17:56 PM »
My sentiments exactly, Andrew.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #14 on: June 25, 2006, 10:29:09 PM »
there is support for you all around you. No Lectures, just being friends.

Offline DCGuy511

  • Member
  • Posts: 61
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #15 on: June 25, 2006, 11:18:02 PM »
Jay,
I hope you are doing okay. There are a lot of people here if you need to talk.

Steve
Steve
Infected/Diagnosed Fall 2003
"No Man Is An Island" - J Donne

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,886
  • AM member since 2003
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #16 on: June 26, 2006, 01:21:17 AM »
Hi Jay

You certainly have a good support team here, and quite a few people you can call on...so talk to them, let them know what is going on..I'm sure you will find the answer to your problems.

Thinking of you

Hugs
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Optimistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 326
  • An Apple A Day Keeps The Doctors Away!
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #17 on: June 26, 2006, 03:43:57 AM »
May I ask why you feel this way? 

Justin
12/06 (Atripla): cd4 - 260; cd% - 33%; vl - 169
1/07 (Atripla): cd4 - 267; cd% - 38.1%; vl - 132
4/07 (Atripla): cd4 - 373; cd% - 33.9%; vl - <50
7/07 (Atripla); cd4 - 287; cd% - 35.8%; vl - <50
9/07 (Atripla); cd4 - 356; cd% - 39.5%; vl - <50
12/07 (Atripla); cd4 - 517

Offline lydgate

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,022
  • Virgin, can't drive
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #18 on: June 27, 2006, 03:04:07 PM »
Sorry to alarm all you guys. I'm fine. Seriously, no false assurances, fine. That post was written while a bit, erm, drunk. Which led to what I call a brief (but rather intense) "spasm." Passed in an hour. Not minimizing that I was hurting; but definitely a bit of boozy drama queenery there. I'm staying at a friend's, taking a few days off from the internet. Will be back here soon, with posts both verbose and succinct. Thanks for all your messages of support, they mean a lot to me.

Jay
Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

George Eliot, Middlemarch, final paragraph

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,753
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #19 on: June 27, 2006, 03:35:13 PM »
Glad that your ok and your staying with a friend. Maybe you should stay away from the booze.

Just something to think about.

Again glad that your ok. Hurry back!

Hugs
Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline krakerjm

  • Member
  • Posts: 107
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #20 on: June 27, 2006, 04:00:02 PM »
Maybe I've been away too long or is there too much talk of suicide here now?  Jay, we all have bad days, especially when we drink: alcohol is a depressant you know, glad you sobered up, isn't that easy for some.  But the idea that you are having these thoughts when you drink may be something to consider and look into.
GWM, 63, PN w/footdrop
"I swear there ain't no heaven, pray ther ain't no hell"

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,160
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #21 on: June 27, 2006, 05:50:51 PM »
Jay,

Don't sweat it. As they say, "friends don't let friends drink and post." ;)

Fondly,

MtD

Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #22 on: June 27, 2006, 06:02:03 PM »
but definitely a bit of boozy drama queenery there.
Jay


Hey Jay,

I guess I missed this one and I am sorry, but in honor of your new status, I now forward this jpeg, and beg you to use it creatively.  ;D

In Love.

[attachment deleted by admin]
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline david25luvit

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,409
  • Member since March 2005
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #23 on: June 27, 2006, 07:26:47 PM »
Jay.......


             Like others have said suicide is not painless.  Having tried with three handfuls of narcotics I didn't realize the pain I was giving others until I found myself still around.  Seeing the pain in their eyes made me realize just how selfish I was being........Suicide is not Painless.  Its Cruel!

             Give us more feedback.....What's going on with ya?  We're here for you!
In Memory of
Raymond David McRae III
Nov. 25, 1972- Oct. 15, 2004
I miss him terribly..........

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #24 on: June 27, 2006, 08:31:54 PM »
Jay,  I will kill you if you do anyting like this! ::)   "Long Term Solution, to a Short Term Problem!"

Besides,  I like you!!

Love :D

Offline CalvinC

  • Member
  • Posts: 143
Re: new topic... suicide is painless
« Reply #25 on: June 28, 2006, 02:25:49 PM »

Thanks for the update Jay.

I'm around.

Andrew

 


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