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Author Topic: blonde joke  (Read 3633 times)

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Offline BB

  • Member
  • Posts: 168
blonde joke
« on: June 24, 2006, 03:00:35 PM »
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decides to hire herself out as a handyman-type and starts canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She goes to the front door of the first house and asks the owner if he has any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch," the man says. "How much do you charge?"

The blond says, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agrees and tells her the paint and ladders that she might need are in the garage. A short time later, the blonde comes back to the door to collect her money.

"Your finished already?" the man says. "Yes," the blonde answers, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reaches in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde adds, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Damn the Torpedoes! Full speed ahead! Adm. D. Farragut.

Started Atripla 8/18/06 and if I eat the right food when I take my meds, I get to go on a-trip-la.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: blonde joke
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2006, 05:05:47 PM »
Nice one BB, but if you tell any more itchy pee-pee jokes in the Am I forum, I'll hunt you down and kick your funny little butt. :D

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline BB

  • Member
  • Posts: 168
Re: blonde joke
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2006, 06:23:50 PM »
OK, OK I did apologise to the little guy. Go back and read my second post. I goofed, besides today must be my day in the barrel. I'm catching flack from all over.

BB

(Who has learned to bob and weave and run like hell when needed.)
Damn the Torpedoes! Full speed ahead! Adm. D. Farragut.

Started Atripla 8/18/06 and if I eat the right food when I take my meds, I get to go on a-trip-la.

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,753
Re: blonde joke
« Reply #3 on: June 24, 2006, 07:00:50 PM »
DId you hear about the blond prisoner who was found in his cell with half a dozen bumps on his head?

He tried to hang himself with a bungee cord.
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Posts: 12,228
  • Ninja Please
Re: blonde joke
« Reply #4 on: June 24, 2006, 07:04:57 PM »
Show me an intelligent blonde and I'll show you a Golden Retriever.

MtD
(Who has a redhead's hatred for blondes)

Offline JeffInNYC

  • Member
  • Posts: 806
Re: blonde joke
« Reply #5 on: June 24, 2006, 07:43:36 PM »
How do blonde brain cells die?
Alone.
 ;D

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: blonde joke
« Reply #6 on: June 24, 2006, 07:55:36 PM »
Good one Jeff. Here's another

A blonde and a brunette were in an elevator. In came a handsome hunk, gorgeous except for a dandruff problem. When he got off, the brunette turned to the blonde and said "Hot stuff. But someone needs to give him Head & Shoulders."

The blonde asked, "How do you give shoulders?"  :D

Offline Joe K

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  • 31 Years Poz
Re: blonde joke
« Reply #7 on: June 24, 2006, 08:08:47 PM »
How do you know if a blonde has used your computer?  There is white-out on the monitor.

How do you know if another blonde has used your computer?  There is writing on the white-out.

Offline JeffInNYC

  • Member
  • Posts: 806
Re: blonde joke
« Reply #8 on: June 24, 2006, 08:23:51 PM »
What's the mating call of the blonde?
"I'm *sooo* drunk!"

What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
(Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: blonde joke
« Reply #9 on: June 25, 2006, 01:35:45 AM »
A blond is in Las Vegas in one of those really big casinos.  She gets lost and ends up in the employee lounge.  While she's in the lounge, she decides to put some coins in one of the machines there.  She pushes a button on the machine and out comes a candy prize!  She does it again and there's another candy prize.  An employee comes in and finds that she's bought almost everything in the vending machine, but she's still shoving in coins.  He asks "Ma'am, can I ask what you're doing?"  She replies "Duh, I'm winning!"
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline Nadine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,253
  • Member since: August 2005
Re: blonde joke
« Reply #10 on: June 25, 2006, 05:57:48 AM »
OK, this blonde can dish them out too

How do you confuse a blonde?
You don't. They're born that way

Offline kcmetroman

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: blonde joke
« Reply #11 on: June 25, 2006, 08:43:06 AM »
 a blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Offline swede_dish

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  • I feel like an angel baby wrapped in a candy cloud
    • My blog
Re: blonde joke
« Reply #12 on: June 27, 2006, 03:44:10 AM »
HEY.There happen to be smart blondes. AHEM.
"I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. "
-Bette Midler

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: blonde joke
« Reply #13 on: June 27, 2006, 07:55:44 AM »
HEY.There happen to be smart blondes. AHEM.

Name one. ;)

MtD

Offline Nadine

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  • Posts: 1,253
  • Member since: August 2005
Re: blonde joke
« Reply #14 on: June 27, 2006, 08:05:29 AM »
ME  ;D

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,228
  • Ninja Please
Re: blonde joke
« Reply #15 on: June 27, 2006, 08:09:59 AM »
Well Nadine is the exception that proves the rule. ;D

MtD
(Who was blonde for a brief period in his teens)  :P

Offline MoltenStorm

  • Member
  • Posts: 477
  • Poz & Fabulous
Re: blonde joke
« Reply #16 on: June 28, 2006, 04:24:50 AM »
Why is the blonde woman's belly button always sore?

Her boyfriend's blonde too!
"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful nor conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, adaptation in A Walk To Remember

CD4: 555 / 29% / Undetectable - 7 Nov 2006
CD4: 555 / 29% / Undetectable - 5 Feb 2007

Offline swede_dish

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  • Posts: 682
  • I feel like an angel baby wrapped in a candy cloud
    • My blog
Re: blonde joke
« Reply #17 on: June 28, 2006, 01:26:26 PM »
Why is the blonde woman's belly button always sore?

Her boyfriend's blonde too!


HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHA :D
"I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. "
-Bette Midler

 


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