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Author Topic: Boyfriend is HIV+  (Read 13271 times)

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Offline JM2230

  • New Member
  • Posts: 1
Boyfriend is HIV+
« on: April 26, 2007, 06:46:51 PM »
After dating my boyfriend for several months he just told me a couple nights ago that he is HIV +. He has known for about 6 years now and said he feared telling me because he knew it would destroy our relationship. He said he finally had to come clean about his status because on Sunday we had our first sexual encounter beyond kissing and he couldnt handle the guilt any longer.

His reaction to my parionoia about my HIV status now seemed be one of anger and hurt. He told me that receiving oral sex, rough kissing, and rubbing penis's together held no risk to me for transmitting HIV. I dont think my reaction is too uncommon though espcially after having my trust in him hurt so badly. He recommended that I come to site like this and discuss what happend to help ease my fears.

I'm still unsure where I relationship will be now, after him not telling me for so many months and letting us be sexual together.

I don't think Im in the wrong here, though I do feel some guilt and I still think he is a great guy, im just hurt and confused.

Thanks

Offline milker

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Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2007, 06:54:06 PM »
Hello JM,

well there have been hundreds of discussions in those forums about disclosure, how to, when to, etc. It's interesting to have someone like you from the other side that can relate his emotions when this happens.

Your bf is right, he didn't put you at risk, and he disclosed at a time when he believed he could put you at risk if things were going to be more intense, although you will see from the Lessons that when safe everything is fine. You reaction of shock and paranoia is not unusual, read the lessons about HIV transmission on this site there http://www.aidsmeds.com/lessons/StartHere1.htm , and feel free to ask us any question.

This is called "someone I care about has hiv". It's as simple as that. You can care about him, he has hiv, be safe, and enjoy your life with him :)

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline izprince1984

  • Member
  • Posts: 185
Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #2 on: April 26, 2007, 09:41:16 PM »
Well, he could have been one of those jerks that just didn't bother to tell you at all, in the end it's your right to decide just how much of a risk he's worth to you, and the risk is very real and is something you should not take lightly.

Of course most people on these forums try to make HIV sound like the common cold, it is a natural part of the grievance process to refuse to accept your fate, HIV is a very serious disease that will during the course of it's progression, kill everyone who has it, the only way he's not going to die of that is if something else gets him first.

Some people are lucky and live a long time with it, that's largely the exception, I've seen people take their meds every day  religiously and die in less than 5 years, it's another thing to consider is that when he dies, how that will affect you.
« Last Edit: April 26, 2007, 09:43:25 PM by izprince1984 »
ryan@ryan-desktop:~$ apt-get moo
         (__)
         (oo)
   /------\/
  / |    ||   
 *  /\---/\
    ~~   ~~   
...."Have you mooed today?"...

Offline milker

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Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #3 on: April 26, 2007, 10:02:26 PM »
What a great heart warming and positive answer, iz.

Maybe you should read the Living With HIV forums with a bit more of attention, because i'm not sure there are many people on here that say "ooo hiv is just a cold, don't worry about it". Maybe in other sites, but not here. It is a very serious disease.

I don't think you have read the posts about serodiscordant couples that live a happy life either. Starting your post suggesting that JM's bf is a jerk and finishing by stating that he may die in the next 5 years is so much of a positive answer!

JM is shocked and lost, it's normal, we should help him get this relation working rather than trying to break it by giving false scares. It is very important that he did post his story in the forums, it proves that he does care.

JM, it is not a funny disease, and I suggest that you search the forums for keywords like "disclosure" you will find out why your bf didn't disclose the first day, and I hope it will help your couple. Talk together about it :)

And feel free to ask questions on here !

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline izprince1984

  • Member
  • Posts: 185
Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #4 on: April 26, 2007, 10:33:22 PM »
What a great heart warming and positive answer, iz.

Maybe you should read the Living With HIV forums with a bit more of attention, because i'm not sure there are many people on here that say "ooo hiv is just a cold, don't worry about it". Maybe in other sites, but not here. It is a very serious disease.

I don't think you have read the posts about serodiscordant couples that live a happy life either. Starting your post suggesting that JM's bf is a jerk and finishing by stating that he may die in the next 5 years is so much of a positive answer!

JM is shocked and lost, it's normal, we should help him get this relation working rather than trying to break it by giving false scares. It is very important that he did post his story in the forums, it proves that he does care.

JM, it is not a funny disease, and I suggest that you search the forums for keywords like "disclosure" you will find out why your bf didn't disclose the first day, and I hope it will help your couple. Talk together about it :)

And feel free to ask questions on here !

Milker.

Yeah, cause I know I intentionally go out and trick people into developing feelings for me so I can tell them six months later.
ryan@ryan-desktop:~$ apt-get moo
         (__)
         (oo)
   /------\/
  / |    ||   
 *  /\---/\
    ~~   ~~   
...."Have you mooed today?"...

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #5 on: April 26, 2007, 10:39:46 PM »
Izprince as usual your advice is HORRIBLE but anyways i guess you have you your 1st ammendment rights....


JML2230...Your boyfriend told you about his HIV status before having "intercourse" therefore he did not put you in any risk at all, probably because he cares about you....He probably did not tell you right away because he wanted you to get to know him a bit better so you could know the real him and not judge him because he has a disease....HIV is a serious disease but if HIV+ people take care of themselves by taking their medicines as directed we can live normal, happy, HEALTHY lives...You can have a normal relationship, sex and all so long as you do it protected. Im sure it will take time for you and him both to feel comfortable about it but thats what condoms are for. I suggest you read the "lessons" section so you can learn a bit more about HIV. Once youve been educated enough you will learn its not something you have to fear because if you protect yourself you wont catch it....

there are many people on this site that are HIV+ and have an HIV- partner.....

Anyways hope you are able to make the choice that will make you happy in the end....but dont think he "lied" to you because its difficult for us to tell people we are positive....The fear of rejection is very scary because its something we cannot change....
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline izprince1984

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  • Posts: 185
Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #6 on: April 26, 2007, 10:41:16 PM »
Izprince as usual your advice is HORRIBLE but anyways i guess you have you your 1st ammendment rights....


JML2230...Your boyfriend told you about his HIV status before having "intercourse" therefore he did not put you in any risk at all, probably because he cares about you....He probably did not tell you right away because he wanted you to get to know him a bit better so you could know the real him and not judge him because he has a disease....HIV is a serious disease but if HIV+ people take care of themselves by taking their medicines as directed we can live normal, happy, HEALTHY lives...You can have a normal relationship, sex and all so long as you do it protected. Im sure it will take time for you and him both to feel comfortable about it but thats what condoms are for. I suggest you read the "lessons" section so you can learn a bit more about HIV. Once youve been educated enough you will learn its not something you have to fear because if you protect yourself you wont catch it....

there are many people on this site that are HIV+ and have an HIV- partner.....

Anyways hope you are able to make the choice that will make you happy in the end....but dont think he "lied" to you because its difficult for us to tell people we are positive....The fear of rejection is very scary because its something we cannot change....

He probably didn't say anything til now due to fear of rejection, and this next bit is pure speculation, but he probably didn't plan to say anything except that his conscience wouldn't stop nagging him.

Anyway, it's not something you can change, but it is something that could have easily been avoided, so he's not this innocent little lamb in the proverbial field of wolves.
ryan@ryan-desktop:~$ apt-get moo
         (__)
         (oo)
   /------\/
  / |    ||   
 *  /\---/\
    ~~   ~~   
...."Have you mooed today?"...

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #7 on: April 26, 2007, 10:42:20 PM »
Yeah, cause I know I intentionally go out and trick people into developing feelings for me so I can tell them six months later.

They have not had sex!!!!!! whats the problem with getting to know someone before you disclose your deepest darkest secrets.....

You dont just meet someone and tell them your life story right away...its a process of getting to know soemeone....

Many times if you tell people right away they will dismiss you without even bothering to get to know you....If you tell them later then they think "wow this is a good guy" maybe i can deal with this...its not "tricking" people ...
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline puertorico2006

  • Member
  • Posts: 957
Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #8 on: April 26, 2007, 10:43:55 PM »
He probably didn't say anything til now due to fear of rejection, and this next bit is pure speculation, but he probably didn't plan to say anything except that his conscience wouldn't stop nagging him.

Well if it was fear of rejection then he might not have ever said anything.....but he did and before any dangerous sex occured....and yes im sure his conscience was nagging him that it was the "right" time to disclose and he did....speculation or not at least he has a conscience unlike some people i know!
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline izprince1984

  • Member
  • Posts: 185
Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #9 on: April 26, 2007, 10:44:16 PM »
They have not had sex!!!!!! whats the problem with getting to know someone before you disclose your deepest darkest secrets.....

You dont just meet someone and tell them your life story right away...its a process of getting to know soemeone....

Many times if you tell people right away they will dismiss you without even bothering to get to know you....If you tell them later then they think "wow this is a good guy" maybe i can deal with this...its not "tricking" people ...

There's a guy I've been seeing, but before we even met, I told him.

I think that not telling someone because of fear of rejection is cowardly and selfish, making them have feelings for you and manipulating them, before you finally say something.
ryan@ryan-desktop:~$ apt-get moo
         (__)
         (oo)
   /------\/
  / |    ||   
 *  /\---/\
    ~~   ~~   
...."Have you mooed today?"...

Offline milker

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Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #10 on: April 26, 2007, 10:45:19 PM »
izprince, if you are the King of disclosure, tell us our secret.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline izprince1984

  • Member
  • Posts: 185
Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #11 on: April 26, 2007, 10:46:48 PM »
Well if it was fear of rejection then he might not have ever said anything.....but he did and before any dangerous sex occured....and yes im sure his conscience was nagging him that it was the "right" time to disclose and he did....speculation or not at least he has a conscience unlike some people i know!

There's a difference between being suspicious of people and not having a conscience, I believe that most people are self-centered, self-serving, and manipulative of others.

Think of it this way, you have a room full of 10 people, you tell them that they can go rob a little old lady of a million dollars and never get caught, I'm sure that 9 of them would do it without hesitation.
ryan@ryan-desktop:~$ apt-get moo
         (__)
         (oo)
   /------\/
  / |    ||   
 *  /\---/\
    ~~   ~~   
...."Have you mooed today?"...

Offline puertorico2006

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  • Posts: 957
Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #12 on: April 26, 2007, 10:50:02 PM »
There's a guy I've been seeing, but before we even met, I told him.

I think that not telling someone because of fear of rejection is cowardly and selfish, making them have feelings for you and manipulating them, before you finally say something.

YOU think its cowardly I THINK its being precautious...if you tell one person its like telling 12 or more.....

and just because you choose to do something that way doesnt mean that any other way is WRONG...its just DIFFERENT....I personally prefer someone reject me right off hand but thats my way of dealing with it....it has its pros and cons but for me i prefer it that way....

The world is very dynamic, unique, and different....trust me you arent the one that "knows all" ...you are probably one of the least credible person in this forum so i hope this person doesnt listen to your one-sided view of the world
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline izprince1984

  • Member
  • Posts: 185
Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #13 on: April 26, 2007, 10:52:36 PM »
YOU think its cowardly I THINK its being precautious...if you tell one person its like telling 12 or more.....

and just because you choose to do something that way doesnt mean that any other way is WRONG...its just DIFFERENT....I personally prefer someone reject me right off hand but thats my way of dealing with it....it has its pros and cons but for me i prefer it that way....

The world is very dynamic, unique, and different....trust me you arent the one that "knows all" ...you are probably one of the least credible person in this forum so i hope this person doesnt listen to your one-sided view of the world

How does telling someone the facts of the disease make me less credible?

Anyway, as for my opinions, I have them, you have yours, yours sure as hell aren't etched in gold either.
ryan@ryan-desktop:~$ apt-get moo
         (__)
         (oo)
   /------\/
  / |    ||   
 *  /\---/\
    ~~   ~~   
...."Have you mooed today?"...

Offline milker

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Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #14 on: April 26, 2007, 10:54:43 PM »
The facts of the disease, sure (then again..)

The facts of life, you didn't.

Many serodiscordant couples live happily.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline puertorico2006

  • Member
  • Posts: 957
Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #15 on: April 26, 2007, 10:59:08 PM »

Some people are lucky and live a long time with it, that's largely the exception, I've seen people take their meds every day  religiously and die in less than 5 years, it's another thing to consider is that when he dies, how that will affect you.

You might be be stating facts PRE HAART era but i believe the life expectancy is WAY more than 5 years....have you even spoken to a doctor? i think you are stating outdated facts.....that is putting un-needed fear and speculation on the posters mind
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline Teresa

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Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #16 on: April 26, 2007, 11:04:43 PM »
Hello JM,

I am the negative one in a poz/neg relationship. It will be a year in May that we found out. We were married 4 years when we found out. We used condoms for vaginal sex (for birth control) and we didn't use precautions for anything else. There were a few times we didn't even use condoms for vaginal but that was only a couple of times.  I am HIV negative. We use condoms and lots of lube everytime we have sex.

Only you can decide if you want to move forward with this relationship. I know it hasn't been easy for me and hubby, but its getting easier.

The one thing I can tell you is to learn all you can about HIV and the way its transmitted. The lessons here are great. They really helped me.

I wish you the all the best!

Hugs
Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline izprince1984

  • Member
  • Posts: 185
Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #17 on: April 26, 2007, 11:06:40 PM »
You might be be stating facts PRE HAART era but i believe the life expectancy is WAY more than 5 years....have you even spoken to a doctor? i think you are stating outdated facts.....that is putting un-needed fear and speculation on the posters mind

The average life expectancy for someone diagnosed with HIV who takes all the latest and most expensive drugs is around 24 years.

That works out to, if you're 20 now, you can expect to possibly live to be 44, could be even less, sure you can say "Well, thats a long way away, so who cares?"

But I'll bet you'll care when you're 44 years old and dying and you could have had another 35-40 years left in you.

And what about people who don't have access to the drugs, or wrestle with socialized insecurity and medicaid for years before getting approved?

All the while, they're going untreated.

I've seen people fight for 3-4 years to get approved and by that time, they were already on death's doorstep.

So HIV is not something to sneeze at, it does kill, and all I told him was it's worth some thought into whether he thinks the risk is justified, then you all come barking at me like I'm not giving good advice.
ryan@ryan-desktop:~$ apt-get moo
         (__)
         (oo)
   /------\/
  / |    ||   
 *  /\---/\
    ~~   ~~   
...."Have you mooed today?"...

Offline milker

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Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #18 on: April 26, 2007, 11:08:39 PM »
You forget to say that 10 years ago the life expectancy was about 10 years. So in your post you added 14 years. I would believe that in the next 14 years the boyfriend would have a life expectancy of 100 years.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline izprince1984

  • Member
  • Posts: 185
Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #19 on: April 26, 2007, 11:11:39 PM »
You forget to say that 10 years ago the life expectancy was about 10 years. So in your post you added 14 years. I would believe that in the next 14 years the boyfriend would have a life expectancy of 100 years.

Milker.

HIV strains keep mutating to where they are resistant to older drugs, and the strain survives by using the host to infect someone else before the host dies.

Your assumption is based on the discovery of newer and more effective drugs, which may or may not happen.

So from your point of view, it's OK to be reckless and get a life threatening illness because maybe before you die they'll find a cure?

The CDC said in 1984 that they suspected there would be a vaccine by 1986, so hello? Did that happen?
ryan@ryan-desktop:~$ apt-get moo
         (__)
         (oo)
   /------\/
  / |    ||   
 *  /\---/\
    ~~   ~~   
...."Have you mooed today?"...

Offline thunter34

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  • His name is Carl.
Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #20 on: April 26, 2007, 11:13:02 PM »
Some people here have personalities that are far more toxic than either the virus or the meds.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #21 on: April 26, 2007, 11:21:09 PM »
I didnt say it was "ok" to get a life threatening illness at any point in time. I said that if your careful that it will not happen and that now days things are at a much better point than before.....No reason to judge someone for being HIV+ thinking you cant be together....there is no need to fear getting infected if you protect yourself...and i think that thats the point that came across and you are distorting my words

-josh
(who agrees with the above post)
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #22 on: April 26, 2007, 11:46:48 PM »
I'm still unsure where I relationship will be now, after him not telling me for so many months and letting us be sexual together.

I don't think Im in the wrong here, though I do feel some guilt and I still think he is a great guy, im just hurt and confused.

Thanks


JM,

Welcome to AIDSMEDS.

First up, it's good that you've decided to reach out for some support in this difficult time. Sero-discordant relationships (ie where one member is poz and the other is negative) are never easy and I want you to know that it's perfectly ok for you to feel the way you do at the moment.

Like Milker and Theresa have said you should spend sometime reading the really excellent lessons on HIV transmission, testing and treatment that AIDSMEDS has to offer. I believe Milkie has already given you the link. You should also know that there are a number of people here in the Forums who are in sero-discordant relationships and I'm sure they'd be happy to share their experiences with you.

IzPrince,

It's one thing to exchange hostilities and barbed asides with others in the Off Topic and Living With forums. Christ knows I'm no angel when it comes to that. But what you've done to JM's thread in this forum is utterly unspeakable. You've demonstrated a level of spitefulness that makes even Matty the Damned blush.

If you have even a single iota of decency about you, you'll back out of this thread right now.

MtD

/edited for a tiny typo/
« Last Edit: April 26, 2007, 11:48:49 PM by matty.the.damned »

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #23 on: April 27, 2007, 12:30:32 AM »
Some people here have personalities that are far more toxic than either the virus or the meds.

qft
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline milker

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Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #24 on: April 27, 2007, 12:39:59 AM »
IzPrince,

It's one thing to exchange hostilities and barbed asides with others in the Off Topic and Living With forums. Christ knows I'm no angel when it comes to that. But what you've done to JM's thread in this forum is utterly unspeakable. You've demonstrated a level of spitefulness that makes even Matty the Damned blush.

If you have even a single iota of decency about you, you'll back out of this thread right now.

MtD
Halleluya (or whatever its spelling is)

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #25 on: April 27, 2007, 07:52:13 AM »
JM, as Matty (and others have said), welcome!

Thanks to Matty for having returned this thread to its original purpose which is to welcome and lend support to someone who's come here with a legitimate need.

So JM, you got more of a taste of some in-house stuff that goes on here sometimes. Please don't allow that to stop you from asking questions here or talking about your situation.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline snoofle

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Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #26 on: April 28, 2007, 10:52:27 AM »
hey i was kind of in the same situation as you were..except my boyfriend continued to have sex with me even after knowing he had HIV bc of his fear that i would just leave and i had to find out about his status from rumors that my mother heard..i personally battled with this breach of trust for monthssss..even after i found out i was HIV-negative..ive chosen to stay with him..bc i understand the disease is something difficult to disclose especially in my culture (im eastern indian) but i still hold that resentment for not telling me..in the end, its your decision..dont let him or what he has affect you in any way..you should do whatever makes you happy

Offline pax

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Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #27 on: May 03, 2007, 05:40:21 AM »
It sounds like he wanted to tell you but was just to afraid. It can be really nerve racking trying to figure out how and when to tell someone.
What happens next is up to you, though. If you are uncomfortable being in a relationship with him, for any reason be it trust or persistent fear of infection or whatnot, that is going to show up in your relationship.

Offline sistagal

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Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #28 on: May 04, 2007, 09:57:06 AM »


Wat iz it abt him that u love ?  I am glad he finally told you - trust me it aint eezy disclosing your status to someone u love...someone u do not want to loose ... I think he cud have done worse and kept quiete with hope to infect you so that when the both of u go for tests u wud b in the same boat !

Rite now you need to get more info on hiv and u need to know what u are in for shud u d'cide to stay in that relationship ....  in life there is things we can/cannot  live without  ... it is your call !

U need to deal with your psch ...

Hey we the poz are here for u if u wanna chat .....
Too pretty and precious to go underground !!!!!!

Offline chemistry001

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    • http://www.mygaydar.com/chemistry001
Re: Boyfriend is HIV+
« Reply #29 on: May 06, 2007, 04:53:00 AM »
Hi JM

If your still here, because after reading some of these posts i wouldn't be surprised if you had been scared off, welcome.
There is a wealth of good suppport and advise here amongst all the mud slinging that appears to have been thrown, just sift your way through it.

I'm the +ive one in my relationship and what i feel is important is that you remain in total communication with your boyfriend and don't be afraid to talk and ask what may seem like dumb questions.

Its been 8 months for me and my boyfriend and it has been a hard road for us both, we have had to take things really slowly as he is scared and i understand this so don't push things, but we do love each other and i know that in time things will be fine for us as I'm sure they will for you too.

The virus has made us closer ( at times its not felt like this), we talk more and have a greater understanding of each others feeling and concerns. So i say give it time and if you really care about each other it can and will work out.

Love to you both
Paul xXx
Diagnosed 01/08/06
CD4-9, VL->500,000, CD4% 1
Started on Sustiva/combivir 22/08/06 changed to kivexa 18/09/06
02/10/06
CD4-50, VL-1496, CD4% 5
04/12/06
CD4-112, VL-125, CD4% 7.5
22/02/07
CD4-121, VL-<50, CD4% 9
29/05/07
CD4-125, VL-71,(re-done 149), CD4% 11
25/09/07
CD4 -231, VL-74, CD4% 15
Cant remember the next few dates
17/01/08  Kaletra and Truvada
CD4 - 281, VL-115
06/03/08
CD4 - 287, VL-178

 


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