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What is the biggest personal challenge you face regarding your hiv status?

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Dan J.:
I guess with me it's trying to keep a positive attitude, fighting depression and anger at myself to not taking care of me 20+ years ago. Lately I've been missing meds. I haven't taken a dose in 5 days. I know I need to, but I just don't want to. Sometimes I feel like a need a break from the abdominal discomfort, PN,  & other side effects. I don't know when I will take another dose of meds. Maybe Friday, maybe not.


Battle fatigue is my biggest challenge.
I have a bipolar brother who needs me, and a dog who adores me. 
If it weren't for them, I don't know that I wouldn't have opted out by now.

(Dan...take your meds, or take a break from them altogether!  I know you know this...)


Dan, I hope things improve for you soon.  Personally, I'm afraid -almost paranoid- about missing doses.  I've only been on meds for 5 months, but I haven't missed any so far.  I felt so crappy when I had that nasty PCP a while back and do not wish to repeat that experience.

As to the biggest personal challenge, I guess it's not getting overwhelmed by all this.  I'd not had any health concerns until a little over a year ago when I found out my HIV status.  It's was a shock to find out that I really wasn't as invincible as I've always felt I was.  I try not to think of any of this as permanent, although I know it is.  It helps keep me from dwelling on it all.  Take care.


It probably sound shallow but dealing with lipoatrophy has been my biggest challenge. I handled the other symptoms and side effects, the uncertainty about the future, the clinical trials, the medical bills, my partner being ill, etc with less difficulty. Because I've kept my HIV infection a secret from practically everyone the lipo stressed me out. When coworkers pulled me into their office and asked if I'm feeling okay, when family members made comments about how thin I am, when strangers made rude comments it all felt like a personal attack. I'd have to quickly think up an excuse to cover up the secret. It suck when you catch people talking about you behind your back. Part of me would like to just tell people and be done with it but I have my partner's feeling to think about. It's not my secret is our secret.

So if it is such a big secret why am I posting photos? Because I felt the need to share my lipo experience with other people who are going through it. Because I'm not ashamed of having HIV. Because if people find out about it they will just have to deal. My partner was not happy when I posted my lipo photos but since doing so I've received emails from over 300 people from literally around the world thanking me for doing so. He has since conceded that I did the right thing.

Dan J.:
It took  a lot of strength for you to post your lipo photos. Mucho respect to you. thanks for sharing.

 :-* Dan


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