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Author Topic: Were you drunk?  (Read 3611 times)

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Offline ChaplinGuy

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Were you drunk?
« on: April 25, 2007, 12:15:35 PM »

I came across this today, and thought to post. I think it is somewhat of a given that alcohol (if lumped in with general "drug abuse") has been a factor in risky behavior and disease transmission since the beginning of time. But I think that for most folks - including myself - the term "drug abuse" was always relegated to hardcore recreational substances like meth, etc.

Since alcohol is the drug of choice (and highly acceptable) for most teens and college kids (who also tend to be the most sexually driven), have long thought that alcohol awareness programs need to be a part of HIV education and outreach. I think that sober (which is when most kids have intelligent discussions about HIV and sexual behavior) anything seems rational and it's easy to be common sense about your own actions.

It's a shame to look back now and know that during my party years (which were mild by most people's standards), I probably could have classified as a functional alcoholic, which no doubt contributed to my status since I wasn't ever bothered by bad thoughts when under the influence.

http://www.aidsmap.com/en/news/52FC6D91-DF90-46B0-B694-E5833DBB6685.asp

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2007, 01:08:35 PM »
I was more than likely drunk and high during my infection.....

There are many "prevention" programs that say meth+sex=death and things of that sort so they do try to send the message that drugs might contribute to infection....as far as alcohol is concerned i dont thing there is much prevention campaigns that include alcohol but everyone knows they do stupid shit while drunk, and they continue to drink....so if you do stupid things while drunk im sure the last thing on your mind is going to be that message. When one is under the influence you dont think about what you know just what you want (at least in my experiences ;D)
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2007, 01:23:03 PM »
Full blown sex addict here.

Everyone always says that when I choose to do something I generally do it BIG and way over the top.  Guess that was true with my sex addiction as well.

I generally was completely sober as far as alcohol is concerned.  Poppers were involved generally, but do those count as "drugs"?
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline racingmind

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2007, 01:34:34 PM »
Yeah, I was utterly shitfaced....I let my guard down.  :-[

Oh if I knew then what I know now... :-\

(Hindsight is sometimes an awful thing....)

But, then again, hey...you've got to play the hand you are dealt.  Nobody is perfect, and life is not easy.

I'm (almost) through beating myself up about becoming infected.... >:(

I will be happy again....here's hoping for a good summer... ;D



Tested Negative: 5/06
Tested Positive: 9/06 
9/06: CD4: 442 (28%) VL: +100,000
10/06: CD4: 323 (25%) VL: 243,440
11/06: CD4: 405 (28%) VL: 124,324
12/06: CD4: 450 (29%) VL: 114,600
1/07: CD4: 440 (27%) VL: 75,286
3/07: CD4: 459 (30%) VL: 44,860
5/07: CD4: 353 (24%) VL: 50,852
7/07: CD4: 437 (29%) VL: 39,475
9/07: CD4: 237 (32%) VL: 372,774
10/07: CD4: 324 (27%) VL: 115,454 
Started Atripla: 10/07
11/07: CD4: 524 (?%) VL: Undetectable!
2/08: CD4: 653 (35%) VL: undetectable
5/08: CD4: 822 (40%) VL: undetectable
8/08: CD4: 626 (35%) VL: undetectable
12/08: CD4: 619 (36%) VL: undetectable
3/09: CD4: 802 (38%) VL: undetectable
7/09: CD4: 1027 (43%) VL: not tested
10/09: CD4: 1045 (43%) VL: undetectable

Offline milker

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #4 on: April 25, 2007, 03:57:25 PM »
I had two JD before going to the bar. At the bar I got about 6-8 G&T. I kissed 3 guys that I would never remember, and came back home with two that I've never seen again and not sure I would recognize. I will not go into details of what I saw when I woke up, but I obviously did many things with those guys during that night, and slowly got memories back of what happened. The next day I had hemorrhoids. I do not regret that night, it was fabulous. Would have I done it if I knew one of them was poz? Probably, asking him not to cum in me.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #5 on: April 25, 2007, 04:01:08 PM »
try and remember the "details" of what happened....this is important for my ANALysis  :o :o
« Last Edit: April 25, 2007, 04:04:22 PM by puertorico2006 »
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline ChaplinGuy

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #6 on: April 25, 2007, 04:08:20 PM »

Milker, that story is pretty common I think (the intoxication part and absolutely memoryless behavior, I mean). I am pretty sure that mine was from a similar event of total binge drinking and blindingly ignorant bedroom events that followed. Interesting you say you don't regret it, that it was "fabulous" -- I often have the same thought. Can anyone really say that they didn't enjoy it, even though the result was awful?

Offline milker

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #7 on: April 25, 2007, 04:27:43 PM »
Yes, I've seen that some people beat the shit outta them for having made that big mistake, or "hate" the person that infected them. I blame myself, not anyone else, and I'm totally over it, life goes on, I now have to concentrate on keeping this virus in control and not infect other people, that's what is important now.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Joe K

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #8 on: April 25, 2007, 04:37:48 PM »
For most of us, we had some role in becoming poz so we should share the blame.  However, any person who knowingly transmits HIV to another human, I believe, will find themselves in a very special hell for eternity.  Infecting another is no different than putting a gun to their head and pulling the trigger.  The only difference with HIV is you do not when the "shot" will actually fire.

Offline milker

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #9 on: April 25, 2007, 04:42:03 PM »
Joe, I can't hate him because I don't even know if he knows he's infected. I tried to find the two guys to tell them but so far no luck. If it turns out he knew, then I don't think I'll hate him either, that wouldn't reverse the problem.

Milker (who can't think of someone he "hates")
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline BT65

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #10 on: April 25, 2007, 04:47:34 PM »
During my heavy partying days (pre82) I wouldn't have cared if getting HIV was a risk or not, because, as most addicts, I was indestructable ("it won't happen to me").  Alcohol is also more readily available.  In the middle of the night, before I would go madly about looking for another bump of heroin, I would drive to an after hours place to get booze.  Like Milker said, life goes on.  I wouldn't change one thing that I've been through or done, because that's what changed my life (for the better, really).
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Joe K

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #11 on: April 25, 2007, 07:02:22 PM »
When I say that Hell has a special place for true infectors, I am not talking about people who do not know, or make mistakes.  What I am talking about are people, who know they are infected and they just do not care, about themselves or others.  Thousands of people have intentionally infected others by lying and cheating or whatever and when two people are in a committed relationship and believe that it is monogamous, and believing that they forgo safer sex, then the cheating partner is guilty of attempted murder is they infect their partner.

Sorry but I am tired of always making the innocents the victims.  Yes you should protect yourself, but how can you do that, when the person you love the most, does not care about you, nor your health.  Leave that blame just where it belongs, on the cheater.

Offline ChaplinGuy

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #12 on: April 25, 2007, 08:06:02 PM »

Here, here Milker! I agree. I often wonder if I would feel differently had I been infected by someone I loved or was in a more stable relationship with -- it's hard to know, and no sense in dwelling, but it could cut both ways (making me more devoted or making me angry and mistrusting).

In a way, I guess I'm glad not to be attached to or really know whoever they are out there. They just get to be this random person that walked up to me on the street and **SLAP** woke my ass up!

Online GSOgymrat

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  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #13 on: April 25, 2007, 08:10:10 PM »
I was drunk when I was infected, drunk on LOVE.

Seriously though no drugs, alcohol or any other "addiction" played a part in my infection. Just one night of passion and poor judgment.

Offline ademas

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #14 on: April 25, 2007, 08:32:44 PM »
There was probably alcohol involved, but only because we met at a leather bar.
I was 24 and in love/lust for the first time.
He was 17, and lied to me about his age for six months (he came clean on his 18th birthday).
Still, he was far more experienced than I was at the time.  I was just out-of-the-closet; he had run away from home to San Francisco to come out--at the age of 13.
It was before all hell broke loose, or at least before we knew what was going on.
He died in '93 at the age of 28.
« Last Edit: April 25, 2007, 08:35:47 PM by ademas »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #15 on: April 25, 2007, 09:28:16 PM »
I have no idea if I was drunk or not. I'm sure I had a good time.

Offline milker

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #16 on: April 25, 2007, 09:31:18 PM »
When I say that Hell has a special place for true infectors, I am not talking about people who do not know, or make mistakes.  What I am talking about are people, who know they are infected and they just do not care, about themselves or others.  Thousands of people have intentionally infected others by lying and cheating or whatever and when two people are in a committed relationship and believe that it is monogamous, and believing that they forgo safer sex, then the cheating partner is guilty of attempted murder is they infect their partner.

Well I see two cases here. The one who knows and doesn't care, and the one that intentionally infects. It takes two to Tango, so I won't hate either, but I will prosecute the latter.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline milker

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #17 on: April 25, 2007, 09:39:21 PM »
There was probably alcohol involved, but only because we met at a leather bar.
I was 24 and in love/lust for the first time.
He was 17, and lied to me about his age for six months (he came clean on his 18th birthday).
Still, he was far more experienced than I was at the time.  I was just out-of-the-closet; he had run away from home to San Francisco to come out--at the age of 13.
It was before all hell broke loose, or at least before we knew what was going on.
He died in '93 at the age of 28.

Sad sorry ademas  :-[ I don't want to hijack but you may tell his story in another thread if you want.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Iggy

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #18 on: April 25, 2007, 09:47:14 PM »
I was quite sober at the time of my infection.  

My mental state, my way of thinking, my feelings of invulnerability, my power of denial, my irresponsibility, my incredibly stupid youth, my anger over an ex, my lack of self worth and confidence, my need to be found attractive (in even the most fleeting way)....all those things combined made me drunker and clouded my thinking worse (better?) than any alcohol I've ever had.

But technically....yes -I was sober

Offline cubbybear

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  • Joined August 2005.
Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #19 on: April 25, 2007, 11:01:52 PM »
Totally 100% sober and knew exactly what I was at risk of.  I just didn't care.
There's a bear in there!
Positive since 2000
Diagnosed 17/9/2005 CD4 35 VL 293,000
Meds 23/9/2005 Sustiva/Truvada
Currently CD4 232 VL Undetectable

Offline Bryan

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #20 on: April 25, 2007, 11:12:03 PM »
 ???
I can't figure out how to post a question. Could you give me directions?
Thanks,
Bryan

Offline milker

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #21 on: April 25, 2007, 11:22:54 PM »
Well you just did post a question Bryan.. Are you asking how to post a new thread? Click on the topic you think the thread belongs to, e.g. Living with HIV or Treatment and Side Effects, then click on "New topic".

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline lostboy

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #22 on: April 25, 2007, 11:47:38 PM »
Hell Yes. I was drunk out of my gord.  I used to drink so that I could be promiscuous and lose my inhibitions.  It worked well, I had a great time. Until the little bastards got into my blood.  Would I have let my guard down when I was sober? No. But I drank knowing that it could well lead me into trouble (as well as pleasure).  Now I only drink with friends and not to go and get laid. Part of me still misses those days though.

"There is no gene for the human spirit"

Offline beefbud

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #23 on: April 26, 2007, 05:43:20 AM »
Yes, booze was my crutch for low self esteem. 
I would walk into a bar and immediately get tense and become a wallflower...a couple drinks and I could feel comfortable enough to walk around, a few more just show me attention.
Yep, booze was definitely involved for me.
"first impressions are cheap auditions"

Offline budndallastx

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Re: Were you drunk?
« Reply #24 on: April 26, 2007, 06:30:08 AM »
Just one night of passion and poor judgment.

Ditto for me ..
Meds since: 11/20/2006
Sustiva / Truvada
12/08/2008 VL:<48 CD4 622 (38%)   
9/8/2008 VL:<48 CD4 573 (30%)
5/2008 VL:<48 CD4 464 (30%)
1/2008  VL: <50  CD4 425(28%)
9/2007   VL: <50  CD4 465 (27%)
6/2007   VL: <50   CD4 443 (26%)
3/2007  VL: <50   CD4 385 (25%)
12/2006 - VL: <50   CD4: 384 (25%)
11/2006 - VL:  22K  CD4: 208 (18%)

 


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