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boyfriend issues

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Well, this is a hard one.  I think couples counseling is an excellent idea.  Too often we believe that if we are thruthful, whomever we are truthful with will leave us.  My first husband died when I was in treatment in 1988, and that is when I tested positive.  Had he lived, and agreed to counseling, we would still probably be together.  It wasn't ever  important to me who he was having sex with when we were separated. I miss him terribly.  I guess what I'm trying to say is, if it's worth it, it will work if you both work AT it.  Don't let a good thing go because of insecure-dness.  If you do, there could come a day that you'll be wondering why.  Good luck and let us know how things are going! ;D

I think your'e ALLOWED to be angry!! BUT channelling it all towards your partner is (although understandable perhaps), destructive. Sorry to be so blunt but you say you love each other, and were considering marriage before diagnosis. all that has changed is the virus, you are still basically the same people. Blame will only tear you apart, and you need each other so much right now. I'm sorry if I sound unsympathetic, I'm really not, in fact I feel for you. I'd just hate to see HIV 'win' again....babe, we all fight this bastard every day, don't let it tear you two apart. you have enough to deal with.
anything we can help with, we are here, if you want a good rant, go ahead
I'm so sorry this is hurting and confusing you so much
take care of yourself, (and him)
Good luck, and LOADS of hugs

i agree that you go for counselling and let the anger out once and for all and try to move on with life.  u guys need each other and i really hope u can work past the anger and the bitterness and get to trust each other again and make a go of things.  at least you have someone who's going to be with you. i hope he will tell u the truth soon as this is eating you up so much.  i imagine its not easy telling a partner of other partners and its worse when one of those partners infected you. good luck.

how do u know it was laying dormant in you. and u possible infected him.
how can u punish someone for something you do know.
why would you stay and punish someone you love, because you are unsure
or if he i think u said, is still messing around on you. what was your t count

Interesting posts, the person whom infected me, knew they had it, intentionally hid this fact from me. I am not bitter or angry, do not blame anyone, I was well aware of the risks of unprotected sex, anyone who has unprotected sex and does not accept the fact they had control is just living in denial.., yes I felt angry at the person, but did not seek legal retribution as I could have, just chalked it up too my own stupidity which is ultimately where it all falls..., I could have demanded using condoms, but did not, so whom do I ultimately have too blame? I blame my own stupidity, and too expect anyone else too protect us is foolishness...! Anger eats up the one who feels the anger and does not real harm too the one your angry at..! And the old saying of vengence is a bitter pill is true..! It might make you feel good for a time, but it never solves the thing that caused you too seek the vengence..! CDC says 1% of americans are HIV+ and of this 300 million plus americans that would translate too 3 million, and only 1.9 million have been diagnosed too date, that means 1.1 million are walking undiagnosed cases today...! And everyone of these 1.1 million is having sex daily or on some regular basis..! Imagine how many they have infected which cannot relate too any CDC guess which is all their 1% statistic is! No one really nows the real infection rate, since in NYC they have a city infection rate of 10%, which is 9% higher than the CDC national level, and in Washington DC, they have a even higher percentage rate, my guess is the government is likley hiding the real infection rates too cut down on fear on something they cannot fix, or control...! If international rates of infection run from a low of 5% too a high of 30% one can truly believe the NYC statistic might be the reality of USA...! Even if one goes on the low 5% level that would translate too 15 million potential HIV+ with only 1.9 million diagnosed would mean 13.1 million undiagnosed, and thats a huge possibility, we may be in a larger population than anyone truly realizes..!


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