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Author Topic: Heard in Passing...  (Read 4253 times)

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Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Heard in Passing...
« on: April 18, 2007, 06:44:30 PM »
Yesterday I heard this on a program on TV about alternative fuels, and just wanted to pass it on before it became history in my brain.

The Human Experience on this Planet, is Equivilant to a Fart in a Windstorm.

We can use this thread for sayings we love.

Love.
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline Just John

  • Member
  • Posts: 267
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2007, 07:00:34 PM »
Fart in windstorm and someone's bound to hear it - in passing. ;D
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

Offline Basquo

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,256
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2007, 07:32:15 PM »
My life is a bowl of cherries: stomped, fermented and bottled in an attractive package.

Offline fearless

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,191
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2007, 08:21:11 PM »
It's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2007, 08:37:40 PM »
My all time fave is the one my mother loved to drill in my head....Nothing slides off a wet ass but a crab. I wonder has anyone else heard this or if she made it up. I'm also fond of a hard head makes for a soft ass... And then there is don't let your mouth write a check that your ass can't cash. If I think of anymore, I will certainly add....Nice thread, Moffie...
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2007, 08:42:54 PM »
Nothing slides off a wet ass but a crab.

Queenie, that is just fabulous! :-*

MtD
(Who is pinkly tickled)

Offline aupointillimite

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  • FUS DO RAH!
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2007, 08:43:13 PM »
My friend's mom always likes to say, "Somethin' bigger than you is gonna have to jump outta me to make me do that."

Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Ninja Please
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #7 on: April 18, 2007, 08:47:23 PM »
My Grandmother, the seriously Presbyterian Magaret Jean, once famously told an awkward young police constable that he was "the most useless thing that God ever shovelled shit into."

MtD

Offline risred1

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  • My Source for Supps - www.newyorkbuyersclub.org
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #8 on: April 18, 2007, 09:02:04 PM »
remember that methane is a greenhouse gas!
  :P
risred1 - hiv +
02/07 CD4 404 - 27% - VL 15k
10/07 CD4 484 - 31% - VL 45k
05/08 CD4 414 - 26% - VL 70k
01/09 CD4 365 - 23% - VL 65k
05/09 CD4 291 - 23% - VL 115k - Started Meds - Reyataz/Truvada
06/09 CD4 394 - ?% - VL 1200 - Boosted Reyataz with Norvir and Truvada
07/09 CD4 441 - ?% - VL 118 - Boosted Reyataz with Norvir and Truvada
09/09 CD4 375 - ?% - VL Undetectable - Boosted Reyataz with Norvir and Truvada
12/09 CD4 595 - ?% - VL Undetectable - VIT D 34 - Reyataz/Truvada/Norvir

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #9 on: April 18, 2007, 09:03:55 PM »
When I was a kid, right after Forrest Gump came out... a friend of mine said... out of nowhere... "Life is like a box of chocolates... everyone kills to get the caramel."

I found, and still do find that, highly amusing.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline milker

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Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #10 on: April 18, 2007, 09:05:52 PM »
In my young and innocent days I asked "how is it like to get fucked?"

Answer: like taking a shit.. in reverse.
Me: Ah ok. Well I have diarrhea.

Milker.

edited to add my answer.
« Last Edit: April 18, 2007, 09:25:18 PM by milker »
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #11 on: April 19, 2007, 09:56:26 AM »
On that note, Milker, I saw this on one of the marble dividers in the men's restroom of the Library at Stanford University.

"IF YOU TAKE A SHIT, PLEASE PUT IT BACK!"

OH shit.
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #12 on: April 19, 2007, 11:25:11 AM »
On my tombstone I'd like this....

Andrew C.....
1972-20..
"I KNEW this would happen"
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline aupointillimite

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,229
  • FUS DO RAH!
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #13 on: April 19, 2007, 11:35:02 AM »
On my tombstone I'd like this....

Andrew C.....
1972-20..
"I KNEW this would happen"

On my tombstone, I want it to say, "cheese and pepperoni."
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #14 on: April 19, 2007, 05:52:10 PM »
Nothing slides off a wet ass but a crab.

Queenie, that is just fabulous! :-*

MtD
(Who is pinkly tickled)

Yahoo, I tickled Matty and made him pink.....I guess no one else has heard that saying, so I will chalk it up to my Queen Mum....who was named after 2 Queens.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline sdcabincrew74

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Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #15 on: April 19, 2007, 06:06:23 PM »
Favorites I grew up with....

"Are you out of your cotton-picking mind" -gram
"Jesus Jumpin Christ" -dad
"If she/he had brains she/he would be dangerous" -gram
"You are the pot calling the kettle black" -mum
"If all your friends were jumping off a bridge would you jump off the bridge" - mum, dad, gram, pap
"You are dumber than a rock" - sixth grad english teacher
"The world does not revolve around YOU." - mum and dad
"Mum's the word" - mum and dad when they did not want gram or pap to know something
"Ain't is NOT a word" - mum
"Heavens to betsy" - great aunt
"Just you wait until your father gets home" - mum
"Money does not grow on trees" - dad
"Light switches can also turn off the lights not just turn them on" - dad
"This is not a resturant, you will eat what I cook" - mum
The difference between an overnight and a layover is luck!

Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #16 on: April 19, 2007, 06:11:01 PM »
I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it. - W. C. Fields
I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it. - mum
I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it. - dad
I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it. - milker

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #17 on: April 19, 2007, 06:43:40 PM »
If a tree falls is the forest when noone is there to hear it ......does it make a sound?
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Ninja Please
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #18 on: April 19, 2007, 07:02:30 PM »
If a tree falls on a vegetarian in a forest does anybody give a shit?

MtD

Online Joe K

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  • 31 Years Poz
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #19 on: April 19, 2007, 09:24:03 PM »
I once had a roommate, who when you pissed him off would ask: "What flew up your ass and died?"  Somehow the graphic image (and gerbil thoughts concerning Richard Gere) it always made me laugh.

One of my favorites:  "I hope to become half the man that my dog thinks I am"

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #20 on: April 19, 2007, 09:42:43 PM »
"When you go to the store, buy some bug spray to kill that bug you have up your ass!"
"You're as worthless as tits on a boar."
"The best part of you, ran down your daddy's leg."

Offline budndallastx

  • Member
  • Posts: 463
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #21 on: April 20, 2007, 09:54:56 AM »
And who pee'd in your Post Toasties ?

He looks as if his dog got run over (twice) ...

Smooth as sh*t
Meds since: 11/20/2006
Sustiva / Truvada
12/08/2008 VL:<48 CD4 622 (38%)   
9/8/2008 VL:<48 CD4 573 (30%)
5/2008 VL:<48 CD4 464 (30%)
1/2008  VL: <50  CD4 425(28%)
9/2007   VL: <50  CD4 465 (27%)
6/2007   VL: <50   CD4 443 (26%)
3/2007  VL: <50   CD4 385 (25%)
12/2006 - VL: <50   CD4: 384 (25%)
11/2006 - VL:  22K  CD4: 208 (18%)

Offline ACinKC

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  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #22 on: April 20, 2007, 11:37:01 AM »
A few of my favorites.........

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the :censor: down.
Chuck Norris does not go hunting, Chuck Norris goes killing.
When the boogyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once visited the virgin islands. they are now the islands. MY favorite!
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
If at first you don’t succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can eat a rubix cube and poop it out solved.
“Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the $#@$ down.”
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.


I have more..........

« Last Edit: April 20, 2007, 12:49:53 PM by ACinKC »
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline aupointillimite

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,229
  • FUS DO RAH!
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #23 on: April 20, 2007, 12:25:53 PM »
I once had a roommate, who when you pissed him off would ask: "What flew up your ass and died?"  Somehow the graphic image (and gerbil thoughts concerning Richard Gere) it always made me laugh.

One of my favorites:  "I hope to become half the man that my dog thinks I am"

Whenever people get too uppity with me, I usually make a point of asking them who shoved the Trans-Alaska Pipeline up his or her ass.

Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline JohnOso

  • Member
  • Posts: 816
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #24 on: April 20, 2007, 04:50:21 PM »
"Tough titty," said the kitty, "but the milk's still sweet.'

Slicker than a cat's ass  (as in, "this ice-covered sidewalk is....")


(are these Southern sayings?  nobody out West seems to have heard of 'em.)

John

Offline antibody

  • Member
  • Posts: 525
  • "every man thinks his burden is the heaviest"
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #25 on: April 20, 2007, 05:06:11 PM »
it's better to have weed and no money than money and no weed!
Timbuk      <50/ 794  CD4 10/06 
                 <50/ 1096 CD4 3/07
                 <40/ 1854 CD4 4/09

Started Atripla  7/14/06
Switched to boosted Reyataz Truvada 3/28/07

*Ask me about Medical Marijuana and how it can help you!*

Offline DingoBoi

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Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #26 on: April 20, 2007, 09:23:04 PM »
"men are like a box of chocolates... if you don't like how it tastes, you can always spit it out"

"yea tho I walk thru the valley of veterinarians, I shall never be neutered"  (maybe muzzled.. thanx ann! :P)

The 5 "F's" of dating:
  • find em
  • flirt with em
  • finger em
  • fuck em
  • fiorget em

"Whip me, beat me, fuck me, suck me, cum all over my tits and tell me what a dirty slut I am"

"If life gives you lemons, make a martini with a twist"



« Last Edit: April 21, 2007, 11:23:01 AM by DingoBoi »

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #27 on: April 21, 2007, 06:29:13 AM »
Trees in forests have been known to purposely fall on carnivores. ;D


My (first) step-father always used to say he was "going to see a man about a horse". As I was an eleven year old who desperately wanted a pony at the time, I was always disappointed when he never came home with one. I finally asked my mother why he was always seeing someone about a horse, but never came home with one. I was mortified when I found out why.

My mother's sayings - "If you can't say something nice, keep your damned mouth shut" and "You should be on a stage - there's one leaving in five minutes". Most of my mother's sayings aren't fit to print. Yes, mother was a real charmer.

A favourite Manx saying - "There's a boat in the morning". It's the answer given to people who are not Manx and complain about some aspect of life on the Rock.

Another Manx saying - "The Isle of Man is seventy thousand alcoholics clinging onto a rock in the middle of the Irish Sea". And that's just about right, too. ;)

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #28 on: April 21, 2007, 06:54:49 AM »
Trees in forests have been known to purposely fall on carnivores.

Perhaps, however carnivores don't split infinitives.

MtD

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #29 on: April 21, 2007, 08:00:41 AM »
Trees in forests have been known to purposely fall on carnivores.

Perhaps, however carnivores don't split infinitives.

MtD

I guess that means Gene Roddenberry was a vegetarian. ;)

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #30 on: April 21, 2007, 11:15:29 AM »
Some of Capt Carls favorites are:

    Tell me about your Mom, did she ever have any kids that lived?

    There's a bus leaving in ten minutes, be under it.

    That asshole would complain about Heaven.

    Eat me.

    Life is like a shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat

   
   
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline Moffie65

  • Member
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  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #31 on: April 21, 2007, 11:37:21 AM »
We had one in the Gay Car Club back in the day that was printed on a T-shirt and given out to the one with the most needy car on tour.

BEAT ME, FUCK ME, AND MAKE ME DRIVE A PINTO!

Love,

[attachment deleted by admin]
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline aupointillimite

  • Member
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  • FUS DO RAH!
Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #32 on: April 21, 2007, 01:14:16 PM »
"At times like this, I wish your dad had settled for a blowjob."
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline penguin

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Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #33 on: May 01, 2007, 11:27:50 AM »
Towards the end of his life, my grandfather took to ominously muttering "Vulnerant omnia, ultima necat" (all the hours wound you, the last one kills) Cheerful fellow  :)

These, mostly remembered from my (very jewish) grandmother:

"What you don't see with your eyes, don't invent with your mouth"

"Experience is the comb that god gives us when we are bald"

"Bad is never good until worse happens"

and one of my Zulu favourites -
"lomhlaba unzima, lohmhlaba" (this world is a harsh place, this world)

kate

Offline BT65

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Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #34 on: May 01, 2007, 12:45:09 PM »
"If you don't vote, you can't bitch!" :D
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline BT65

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Re: Heard in Passing...
« Reply #35 on: May 01, 2007, 12:47:11 PM »
Rock out with your cock out! ;)
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

 


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