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Author Topic: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms  (Read 7229 times)

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Offline blondbeauty

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My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« on: April 15, 2007, 02:31:10 PM »
We are both on same meds and undetectable. I would be the top one but I don´t want to reinfect him or becoming reinfected.
On the other hand I think if both strains are unable to replicate with the meds we are both taking, reinfection wouldn´t really matter because both strains would not be resistant to our current treatment.
What do you think?
The only member in these forums approved by WINBA: World International Nail and Beauty Association.
Epstein Barr +; CMV +; Toxoplasmosis +; HIV-1 +.
Counts when starting treatment:
V.L.:80.200 copies. CD4: 25%=503
Started Sustiva-Truvada 14/August/2006
Last V.L.count (Oct 2013): Undetectable
Last CD4 count (OCT 2013): 52%= 933

Offline thunter34

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2007, 02:38:48 PM »
I'd be hittin' it in a heartbeat, but that's just me.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Life

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2007, 02:42:22 PM »
Juan,  my thinking gets me only to "what if's"..  I am not there yet...  All of these dang STD's and stuff that could add to your fun does not thrill me at all...

Eric

Offline Bucko

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2007, 02:45:25 PM »
I have gone condomless for quite a while now. Although I don't suggest others follow my footsteps necessarily, I will say that topping latex-free is one of the principal joys of my life.

Know your risks, make an informed decision, and do what's best for you.

Brent
(Who was glad to be rid of that sticky lube, too)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

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Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline dtwpuck

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #4 on: April 15, 2007, 02:48:36 PM »
I am still mystified that there are poz guys out there who use condoms with each other.  I have yet to meet one in person.
Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

Offline thunter34

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #5 on: April 15, 2007, 03:00:17 PM »
I am still mystified that there are poz guys out there who use condoms with each other.  I have yet to meet one in person.

word.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline blondbeauty

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #6 on: April 15, 2007, 03:02:26 PM »
Before making a decision I have to make sure I have been immunized against Hepatitis-B. He has chronic Hep-B. He is undetectable anyway for both viruses.
The only member in these forums approved by WINBA: World International Nail and Beauty Association.
Epstein Barr +; CMV +; Toxoplasmosis +; HIV-1 +.
Counts when starting treatment:
V.L.:80.200 copies. CD4: 25%=503
Started Sustiva-Truvada 14/August/2006
Last V.L.count (Oct 2013): Undetectable
Last CD4 count (OCT 2013): 52%= 933

Offline Iggy

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #7 on: April 15, 2007, 03:11:44 PM »
In your specific situation I see it as a reasonable wish on the part of your boyfriend and if you two are monogamous I think it merits a real discussion between you two.

However if you have an open relationship or for any that are not in a monogamous relationship there is some very valid reasons to use condoms regardless of HIV, for example increasing the likelihood of contracting Hep C or as you intimated  in your original post contracting a mutated strain that would cause treatment issues.

At this point in my life I'm more concerned about my health than my sex life.  I'm lucky to have no major mutations and I don't wish that to change.  I'm also lucky to be without any other major STD's and and I personally value that immensely - In fact I value that more than the sex.

I mean this not as any judgment of any one else's choice, just offering a counter point for any who question why you or any poz man would use a condom.

Offline Boo Radley

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #8 on: April 15, 2007, 03:21:21 PM »
I am still mystified that there are poz guys out there who use condoms with each other.  I have yet to meet one in person.

Poz guys in monogamous relationships or just casual sex? 

I don't care what a guy's status is, we would use condoms.  I don't want Hep C or herpes or any of the other crap one can get via unprotected sex.  I had unprotected sex once in 2001 and contracted Hep B.  That ain't gonna happen again.

In a monogamous relationship it wouldn't be an issue so in this instance whatever both are comfortable with, but if he wants to wear a condom he should.
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write © 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline bimazek

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #9 on: April 15, 2007, 03:44:44 PM »
Have sex and just enjoy yourself, do not buy into the anti-gay sex anti gay love, lies...  for example... a new study that was just released...

in fact in a new study release in last month 200 sero opposite st8t couples were followed they all created babies and none wore condoms and none of the partners got HIV, this is because they were all undetectable, so the advice was st8t couples can have totally ok to have unprotected sex to concieve a child but best to have protected sex during the days women is not fertile, i think this is a HUGE HUGE HUGE event, and i dont know but i think there is still a huge bias against gay male sex as opposed to st8t sex, for example, st8ts live in a world of love being the glue of thier culture, a man loves a woman visa versa and even though one is poz other neg, they stick together and scientists now prove they dont transmit even if they have sex without a condom in order to create a baby, (personally if i was neg i would be afraid, but the point is love, they love and want to have baby with that person)

gays swim, live in a world of sex, where love is infinately less important, so now we have all these fear campaigns... isolate the poz guys bilboard where they toute this... meanwhile in st8t world they are having babies one poz undetectable one neg...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! over 200 participants and they recommended condomless sex to concieve a baby if poz partner is undetectable  being on meds definately makes you less infectious to partners, if not completely uninfections, and i heard that after being postive for three years it is almost impossible to catch another strain, something about ccr5 receptors

look at a recent study

200 st8t couples

one sero poz other sero neg.

all wanted kids

all poz partners were undetectable

all had many un protected sex acts to concieve a kid

all 200 had one kid and none was infected and none passed the virus to neg partner

some had two kids this way

the conculsion of study was

it ok to have unprotected sex if one is undetectable

but it is best to limit it to only furtile days

contrast this to the anti-male male sex campaign that is creating fear and hate against gays
called ask him if he is poz

the st8ts have relationship they want baby with that person cause they love that person

(personally i might want to find a neg. partner but that is the point the st8t world is in a oxygen of love and support)  the gay world is in a world of usury exchange of value, muscles, youth, size, fetishes(artificial)

i think it is all made worse by the safe sex propaganda which is very very anti male male love
anti poz neg gay sex

anti poz person really

how many gays would NOT be poz if they had been in LTR with a POZ guy while they were negative

probably half

no one is telling st8ts to not love a poz person or dump a poz wife or husband and many do not

sex is supported in gay mags but not love

body worship... kind of a sex worship and anti - humanity anti love mentality pervades the gay mags

and gay lifestyle

look at the recent study of 200 st8t couples, one poz one neg, all poz were undetectable, they all wanted and had babies, they all had unprotected sex many many many times to create the babies, the study showed that not one of them transmitted to the baby and not one of them transmitted to the other partner

imagine if this was gays... they would be saying... find another woman you cannot do that that is wrong...
there is some deep love between that poz st8t and the neg st8t married etc

if i would have picked on poz person to be in relationship with long term maybe i would not have got the disease

but i think the safe sex campaigns and the constantly shifting what is safe and what is not and the fact that nothing was really every ocmpletely safe

what we need is

focus on love

love is the solution

love between two men

there is a new study out 200 sero different couples all wanted kids

all the poz partners had undetectable vl

they all had normal sex to create a child

all had one some two kids this way

none transfered virus to neg partner

the study suggested unprotected ok but best to limit to fertile period if trying to concieve
« Last Edit: April 16, 2007, 02:51:22 AM by bimazek »

Offline thunter34

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #10 on: April 15, 2007, 03:47:04 PM »
Alright, biz-

You have posted this exact post in another thread- and once again, I am not thrilled about that whole "gays swim in a world of sex where love is infinitely less important" bit.

Knock it off already.


 >:(
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline milker

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #11 on: April 15, 2007, 03:54:24 PM »
gays swim, live in a world of sex, where love is infinately less important
Because of certain events that you may have read in the forums, I've spent the entire day listening to music that reminds me of the great moments I had with my two real boyfriends. I've been basically having tears for about 4 hours now. You see, I can drown in the world of sex but I'm capable of drowning in the world of love, it's not incompatible and not related. The world of sex is not specific to gays, read the "am I infected" forum.

You're not reading what he's asking. Obviously they both have reached a point in their relation where they want to get even more intimate together, and together only. I don't think they're planning to swim in the world of sex.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
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Offline Life

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #12 on: April 15, 2007, 03:55:12 PM »
gays swim, live in a world of sex, where love is infinately less important,

Huh?  Whatcha mean about that?

Offline Boo Radley

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #13 on: April 15, 2007, 04:04:35 PM »
bizamek,

As someone I respect I'm amazed at the ignorance and prejudice displayed by your post. 

gays swim, live in a world of sex, where love is infinately less important,

The world has many, many more heterosexual men who engage in promiscuous sex without love.  Go to any straight singles bar.

Quote
sex is supported in gay mags but not love

What gay mags are you referring to?  Gay porn is no different than straight porn: porn is porn.  There are many gay mags that are not porn (even if some of the ads come close...) which cover such issues as gay marriage, relationships, etc.

Quote
how many gays would NOT be poz if they had been in LTR with a POZ guy while they were negative

How many gay men would have been in LTRs in the 80s if society allowed them to live as couples?  I know gay couples who've been together for 30 years but it was sometimes difficult existing with neighbors who practically spit on them for being gay. 
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write © 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline bocker3

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #14 on: April 15, 2007, 04:05:49 PM »
hey Blondbeauty,

My advice is to talk, read, whatever -- but until you are BOTH comfortable with this, I wouldn't jump in head first (no pun intended   ;D ).  It seems to me that you are asking questions, which means you have some doubts.  Whether or not you finally decide to go au natural again - make sure that you are doing it from a place of comfort.  No whatever risks exist -- and I'm not only talking about hiv reinfection.  
I would suggest you both get a complete STD panel -- and, of course, you do need the Hep B vaccine series.
Ultimately, this is a decision between the two of you -- but of course, this is a great place to gather thoughts from others, that you may have not thought about.
Would I do it??  Hard to say, unless I was facing the issue.  My partner is negative, and while we have said OK to oral sex with no condom (and no cumming in the mouth), I couldn't even comprehend fucking without one -- despite whatever Bimazek was trying to say about this study (I could not really follow that particular rant completely)
I probably have not been of much help, but really -- just make sure that you are both comfortable with your decision -- whatever it is.

Hugs,
mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline frenchpat

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #15 on: April 15, 2007, 04:48:30 PM »
Before making a decision I have to make sure I have been immunized against Hepatitis-B. He has chronic Hep-B. He is undetectable anyway for both viruses.

Well this basically means that you have another 6 months to ponder and make an informed decision. Since hepB is much easier to catch than hiv, start with that. After checking that you are producing hepB antibodies, the road is open to whatever choice you make.

Pat
People have the power - Patti Smith

Offline bear60

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #16 on: April 15, 2007, 06:49:10 PM »
I think....that the two of you are very lucky to have each other.  Talk to him .
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Christine

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #17 on: April 15, 2007, 07:20:57 PM »
Juan,
I would be concerned about other STD's. Talk to him, and make an informed decision and protect yourself.


Biz,
In regards to your study info. I was in a monogamous straight relationship (monogamous on my part- not his). I was negative, he was positive (unknown to me).

We had unprotected sex. I got pregnant, and I got hiv.

I guess I would have skewed the study.

Christine, who apologizes for hijacking Jaun's original question, but I had to get that off my chest.

Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline sdcabincrew74

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #18 on: April 16, 2007, 12:34:31 AM »
Go for it!!!!  Make informed decision and have fun.  Condomless is best!
The difference between an overnight and a layover is luck!

Offline DingoBoi

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #19 on: April 16, 2007, 03:25:18 AM »
Quote
so the advice was st8t couples can have totally ok to have unprotected sex to concieve a child


wow...just wow.  source please because I find that conclusion highly suspect.

Offline carousel

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #20 on: April 16, 2007, 04:43:18 AM »
Most people I know, who are HIV, don't use condoms unless their shagging somebody negative (and then not always wearing one).

I have a real block when it comes to Hepititus after I had a scare last year, when I got an inconclusive result from a test.  Haven't really had much sex since.

You don't want to put yourself at risk of that.


Offline newt

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #21 on: April 16, 2007, 05:53:04 AM »
Blond...

Hep B, yes, a shot, this is so damn easy to get comdoms/no condoms/sex that benefits from condoms neither here nor there really

Re-infection: if you are both on meds and they are working there isn't really a risk HIV wise.  Other things to consider will depend on how you intend to conduct your sex lives.

Other people...

If I may clarify an asssetion in a previous post about natural conception among HIV-postive/HIV-negative couples, this news story may be useful: Making Babies the Old-Fashioned Way (Tim Horn, Senior Writer & Editor, AIDSmeds.com).

"A new report suggests that natural conception may be a safe option for heterosexual couples in which one partner is HIV positive and the other is HIV negative. The conclusions of the Spanish study reported in the November 1 issue of the Journal of Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndromes suggest that unprotected vaginal intercourse to achieve pregnancy, provided that the HIV-positive partner is on HIV drug treatment and has an undetectable viral load, may be associated with a minimal risk of HIV transmission...

"...The study reviewed the files of 62 mixed-status couples who opted to conceive naturally between 1998 and 2005. The HIV-positive partner was the man in 40 (65%) cases and the woman in 22 (35%) cases. The average viral load, at the time of conception, was less than 500 in both the male and female infected partners. All HIV-positive mothers had undetectable viral loads at the time of delivery.

"A total of 76 pregnancies among the 62 couples were documented during the seven-year period. Fifty-two couples had only one pregnancy during this time, six couples reported two pregnancies, and four couples had three pregnancies. There was one case of twin pregnancies and nine miscarriages (which were more common among the HIV-positive women than the HIV-negative women).

"The authors reported that, in all cases, the HIV-negative partner remained uninfected.

"There was, however, one case of mother-to-child transmission." <<< food for thought

Etc

"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline Basquo

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #22 on: April 16, 2007, 09:14:20 AM »
Get the Hep vaccine, then tap that ass ;D
« Last Edit: April 16, 2007, 12:44:17 PM by Basquo »

Offline sadboy

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #23 on: April 16, 2007, 10:38:32 AM »
Blondie

You should also consider Hep C, Herpes and all other STD, HPV and so forth. Both of you should get tested for those diseases and then make the decision. Ok baby boy?

Sadboy

Offline blondbeauty

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #24 on: April 16, 2007, 12:45:06 PM »
I already got my 3 hep-b shots just after diagnosis but never checked if it worked. I found this. It is in Spanish but it says only the 17,5% of HIV+ people respond to Hep-B vaccination. To get an optimal response your Viral Load has to be under 400 copies.
Here is the link: http://elmundosalud.elmundo.es/elmundosalud/2005/08/30/hepatitissida/1125415778.html
I will get tested for Hep-B antibodies the 19th and repeat vaccination if necessary.
Thank you all so much for your help.
The only member in these forums approved by WINBA: World International Nail and Beauty Association.
Epstein Barr +; CMV +; Toxoplasmosis +; HIV-1 +.
Counts when starting treatment:
V.L.:80.200 copies. CD4: 25%=503
Started Sustiva-Truvada 14/August/2006
Last V.L.count (Oct 2013): Undetectable
Last CD4 count (OCT 2013): 52%= 933

Offline racingmind

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Re: My boyfriend wants to have sex without condoms
« Reply #25 on: April 16, 2007, 06:06:49 PM »
DAMN  all this fuss over a little piece of plastic....

Tested Negative: 5/06
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