Main Forums > Someone I Care About Has HIV

sometimes after I speak with my son I break down and cry

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thunter34:
Count me in this company also, Mom.

Feel free to PM me if you wish.

We're here.


SASA39:
Here we can see a clearly example of unconditional love .
PM to me at every time...................
                             Al

water duck:
motherinneed;

CRY for all you want, it is important just let it out !!

MORE IMPORTANT, you should stop feeling guilty that your son is HIV+ ;
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

It will get better, if you let us.

Siang

Moffie65:
Hi Mom,

It was with a bit of sadness that I read your post here, and I have a few suggestions to help you if you feel like trying some.

First off, many of us have been, as you well know, living with this bug for some years now, and when your son has issues that seem insurmountable, please feel free to PM some of us who have "been there and done that".  I know for a fact that Joe Killfoile, Alanbama, Lis, and a few others here are very experienced in softening some of the hard edges of this disease.  For example, I recently discovered, once again, that yogurt is almost an indispensible part of our therapy, due to the killing of the good bacteria that takes place in our guts.  Mostly from HIV but also from the medications, so everyone with HIV who is not lactose intollerant should at least try this to soften the edges of diarrehea.  Other things which can soften the edge a bit are to keep our entertainment light hearted and concentrate mostly on comedic input from what we seek out as entertainment.  I know for a fact that laughter is very much important to keeping our immune systems in balance and to ward off depression when it lurks it's ugly head. 

There are many things that we all universally do that have not been studied, and have not been quantified; but we know, help us to not only survive with this disease, but to make every attempt to thrive. 

Please never beat yourself up for having those frustrating feelings of inability.  I have  been with my partner who is and has been a care giver since he was 7 years old, and pretty much raised all 8 of his siblings, so when we were faced with some of the seemingly insurmountable obsticles that HIV sends your way, he became very much like you.  Unfortunately there is little that one can do from the outside because this is very much a participatory disease, and most of what has to happen must come from within us ourselves.  Nevertheless, the support and love you give your son is something that is invaluable, even if it is only to give a shoulder to cry on.  Don't worry about being a hero, as the only heros with HIV are those who live with it in honesty and with a victorious attitude. 

I hope that something I typed out here helps and that you can somehow find peace with your sons' affliction.  In the end, it is often times the things we discover on our own and not from the doctor that will help us get through the tough times. 

Love,

kellyspoppi:
hi mom, i ditto tim's thoughts. you have many long term survivors here who can answer many of your questions. pls keep in touch and we will try to help wipe away those tears.
be thankful that your son shared that info with you. many pwa's of the 80's & 90's kept that info to themselves for fear of rejection from their family. it saddened me deeply how many died without disclosing, and for many, died alone. your son has shown much courage coming to you and he must have felt very loved by his mom to share this news.
give yourself credit for that!
kellyspoppi   

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