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sometimes after I speak with my son I break down and cry

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motherinneed:
I have been having to  just break down and cry after speaking with my son....am I just losing it.  I do not expect any answers as I know one needs to cry ,  just wanted to type out my feelings  to an understanding group of people.   I just want to take the HIV away from him and take it for myself, I am feeling  so  helpless. I used to fix his problems when he was growing up and I cannot fix this one.  He is dealing with this much better than me or at least it appears so.  When he calls me with sore throats, or coughing or diarrhea I try very hard to reassure him that he is not doomed to die , but when I get off the phone I just cannot stop crying...

way.out.west:
Hello, I’m really sorry about the pain you’re feeling.  This cannot be an easy process to for any parent to go through.  You must be the best mom.  I’m sending good thoughts.

puertorico2006:
awww....i hope you (and your son) are able to deal with this soon...

I told my mom that I was HIV+ and the first thing she did was open the phone book, called a good doctor she knew and tried not to cry (but we both failed and started sobbing)....Crying is needed because holding everything in will just make things worst....She seems to be taking things much better now (and me too) now that ive been to the doctor a few times and she knows that im going to be all right....

Your son will be all right also so long as he takes his treatments and does everything accordingly and takes care of himself...i know you want to make it better for him as all mothers do but the most you can do is be there for him and give him support (which im sure is what your doing)...You are doing the most you can and im sure he realizes it and appreciates it. The fact that he had the nerve to tell you (which is just as hard to tell as it is to hear) shows that you too have a great relationship....

...if youd like i can give you my mothers email address and maybe you two could talk and she can tell you how shes managed to deal with it and what has helped her (because i honestly dont know)....

The thing that has helped me deal is KNOWLEDGE ...knowing that i will be ok...HIV isnt diabetes but it is managable (its not easy) but your son will fight (with your help) and you both need to be strong  :-* :-* :-*

-josh
(who sends lots of hugs and hopes you feel more at ease soon)

motherinneed:
thank you Josh, and way out west..I am better now. Thanks for t he thoughts and the hugs. A good cry is sometimes needed. Hugs to all of you.

puertorico2006:
 :-* :-* :-*
if you ever need to let it out feel free to post on here or PM any of us....

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