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Author Topic: Risk and scared of false negative  (Read 3293 times)

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tube73

  • Guest
Risk and scared of false negative
« on: April 10, 2007, 07:01:55 PM »
Hello,

I first want to say how much i admire all the moderators here for their compassion and their patience with the all the worrier.

I thought I was educated about HIV transmission until I put myself at risk and now I must admit that general information are often not specific enough to clarify things and therefore forums like this one make a tremendous difference.

Here's my story. I am married and have a kid. Even though I have a great relationship with my wife (including sexually), I am very attracted to kinky fetish activities with "dominant" woman. Because i am not into S/M I decided to have a session with a "fetish" escort but later find out she does regular escort as well. This was 7 weeks ago.

Our activities were very safe until she made me lick her anus (a.k.a rimming) for a while. That was our only contact so to speak.

At then end of the session we discussed and ask her how safe that was and she told me there NO risk. I went home and found out that CDC classifies it at low risk and that there were one documented case. I also found out that many other expert say it's theoretical risk but that there is NO documented to date after 26+ years of epidemic.

I called her back and she kept telling me that it was safe while I was asking whether she knew about her HIV status. She finally told me she's was negative but it seems that she was just exasperated.

I got more scared when I later found out she also put in some of her ad that she's 420 friendly.

I called several counselor who told me basically the same thing which was that as long as there was no blood, the risk was almost null. To be honest, I didn't taste any nor see any but how can you be sure while engaging is this kind of activity. One counselor who thought I was very anxious suggested to test at 28 days with the PCR DNA / Ab combo test from LabCorp which I finally took. Both results came back negative. I was relieved until the company send me a copy of the result by fax.

I read a disclaimer from the test manufacturer saying that PCR DNA doesn't rule out HIV infection and that further tests are required in order to establish a conclusive diagnostic.
I was back to square one. I called the testing company who told me "You can test again if you want and other might tell you too. You're negative as far as we're concerned !". Needless to say I felt that somehow I got ripped off.

My anxiety remains even though I understand that the combination of a very low risk (rimming) and negative results makes a good indicator that I am not infected. However, I can't be certain and I definitely don't want to put my wife at risk (we haven't have sex since the episode).

Is the only way to solve the equation is to wait 5-6 more weeks and get tested with Ab again?

Thanks ....




Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Risk and scared of false negative
« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2007, 07:29:19 PM »
tube,

You don't need standard hiv testing over this incident, let alone PCR testing. There is no way you would have become infected with hiv through rimming. This means you ARE hiv negative after that negative PCR test.

Rimming is a risk for intestinal parasites or bacterial infections, not hiv. I've never heard of this documented case you mention - and I've looked for one previously. Nada. You didn't have a risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

tube73

  • Guest
Re: Risk and scared of false negative
« Reply #2 on: April 10, 2007, 07:39:22 PM »
Ann,

Thanks so much for replying. I do appreciate it.

FYI, here's a link to the case http://sti.bmj.com/cgi/content/abstract/68/4/254

I not familiar with medical publication but it seems pretty clear to me in this one that they suspect a transmission via rimming


Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Risk and scared of false negative
« Reply #3 on: April 10, 2007, 08:00:16 PM »
Tube,

Do yourself a favour and make sure you read only up-to-date articles. That one is from 1992 - fifteen years ago! If rimming were a real risk - and that article only says MIGHT - we'd know for sure by now. What we DO know for sure is that it is NOT a risk. If it were, we'd tell you and insist you got proper testing. You don't need testing. You didn't have a risk for hiv infection. Rimming is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline ACinKC

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  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Risk and scared of false negative
« Reply #4 on: April 10, 2007, 08:01:39 PM »
Exactly what I was going to point out Ann!  Blast you and your fast fingers!
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

tube73

  • Guest
Re: Risk and scared of false negative
« Reply #5 on: April 10, 2007, 08:24:34 PM »
Thanks again....

Your confidence helps me a lot and i am hoping to move on soon ...


tube73

  • Guest
Re: Risk and scared of false negative
« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2007, 11:02:39 AM »
Hello again,

I thought I was going over this the past few days with your help here but I just had a conversation with someone who made me worry again....

We talked about rimming risk. Basically she told me licking the outside part of the anus is no risk just like it's been said above. However, if you also reach the inside of the rectum then you are exposing your tongue to anal secretion that have a lot HIV virus.

In the incident I am worry about, it I did lick the inside for a while....

I am now concerned that it was not such a low risk but am still hopeful my PCR test was not a false negative.

Tube

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Risk and scared of false negative
« Reply #7 on: April 18, 2007, 11:24:30 AM »
Rimming is NO RISK even if you manage to lick his lower intestine clean.  Your mouth has 12 known enzymes that breakdown the HIV virus for starters. 

Not to mention the little fact that NO ONE has been infected from rimming!  You are HIV negative and you are only hearing what you want to hear to feed your fears.  We see that alot.

Try and trust us on this one...... You had NO RISK.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Risk and scared of false negative
« Reply #8 on: April 18, 2007, 11:34:15 AM »
If you continue to look for (mis)information from whatever sources to feed your worst fears I can absolutely guarantee you will find them.

Because rimming does involve the germiest body orifice it can be the source of some problems, but NOT HIV. For instance, if you rim you can pick up an intestinal parasite. But as you have been correctly told, there's never been a case of transmission in this manner. It's safe to say that you won't make history by becoming the first.

Theoretical means it could happen but in the real world of HIV it doesn't.

You're a dog. You went straying as many of us have. You can't undo that. It's no sign of your higher character or a love tribute to your wife that you are torturing yourself needlessly.

Take a breath, let this go and move on with your life. No kidding.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

tube73

  • Guest
Re: Risk and scared of false negative
« Reply #9 on: April 28, 2007, 04:02:56 PM »
Hello,

I felt good about all that has been said here to me so far and i was getting over. I even made love to my wife a couple of time... But yesterday (I know i shouldn't had done this) i found out that there is a clinic that offers free rapid test just down the street where I work. On my lunch break i went and got one (it's been 9 weeks since the incident).

I swab my gum etc... and the nurse put it in the vial. For a while nothing happened and then a faint control line showed up. The nurse was not to sure at first. She said normally the control line appears quite rapidly and is very bold and noticeable.

We waited the whole 20 minutes and no second showed up. She said "well, i think it's negative" but didn't seem very sure.

That was such a mistake to go i guess because now i feel anxious again and on top of it i am now scared for my wife....

I am just so confused and I can't figure out how to stop thinking about all this.


Offline RapidRod

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Re: Risk and scared of false negative
« Reply #10 on: April 28, 2007, 05:36:14 PM »
Seek out the help of a mental health professional for your unwarranted worries.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Risk and scared of false negative
« Reply #11 on: April 28, 2007, 06:48:50 PM »
Just because your mind continues to come up with more stuff to scare you with doesn't change the realities of HIV science. You weren't at risk. Period.

As Rod has suggested, if you can't get past this concern then see a professional and talk about the emotional aspects of the situation. We can't resolve that for you and who knows how long those ideas are going to pop into your head. Feelings and thoughts are not facts. And this is not an HIV situation.

Andy Velez

tube73

  • Guest
Re: Risk and scared of false negative
« Reply #12 on: May 05, 2007, 08:46:19 PM »
Hello,

I know I've be given very good support here but today is a nightmare. My wife is sick real bad: nausea, vomiting etc ... She never felt this bad before.

I can't help but think of the worst: I infected her.

I am helpless and can't figure out what to do.

I want to believe that rimming is No risk but frankly i am crushed. 

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,913
Re: Risk and scared of false negative
« Reply #13 on: May 05, 2007, 09:31:56 PM »
We've done what we can do for you here. There was no risk for HIV.

Just because you keep thinking there was a risk doesn't change the HIV science reality of the situation. There was no risk. Period.

If you are going to continue to torture yourself, perhaps out of shame and guilt, then I suggest you see a therapist or other mental health professional. This is absolutely not an HIV situation and it is not our job to keep holding your hand because your mind mistakenly says otherwise. Go get yourself some professional help.

Andy Velez

tube73

  • Guest
Re: Risk and scared of false negative
« Reply #14 on: May 06, 2007, 06:10:56 PM »
Thanks Andy.

Believe me I am trying to get out of this. I fully understand this forum is primarily an information one, not a support line...

Your patience is a treasure and I wanted to tell you how much I think your words are helping each time you responded.

Nonetheless, I agree I need mental help because I am still (at time) anxious and nothing seems to work so far.

I would like your opinion about seeking professional help. Do you think most therapists understand HIV transmission risk etc... The last thing I want is to find a therapist that will not believe I was risk free, etc ...

I live in San Diego area, if anyone here could recommend someone, please PM me.

Thanks and I vow not to post here anymore.

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Member
  • Posts: 24,913
Re: Risk and scared of false negative
« Reply #15 on: May 06, 2007, 06:28:32 PM »
In my experience it is less important that the therapist you choose to work with be an HIV expert than for it to be someone you can speak openly and honestly with. And that you can form a good working alliance with that person.

This really isn't an HIV issue and you will not be going there to talk about HIV science.

And just to say it again for whatever it's worth to you to read it once again, this is not, NOT an HIV situation, no matter what fuzzy reading Nurse Jane gave you

Really.

 
Andy Velez

 


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