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Author Topic: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday  (Read 31463 times)

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Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Ninja Please
Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #200 on: April 10, 2007, 05:04:11 AM »
Carousel,

JK has said nothing which warrants retraction.

MtD

Offline Boo Radley

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  • Not a "real man" and damn proud, mithter... FAB
    • Animal Rescue New Orleans
Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #201 on: April 10, 2007, 07:19:43 AM »
The world is a better place with you in it, Boo.

Oh, please, Jonathan, I've got to call BULLSHIT...  I'm not that stupid.  I don't despise you or have any feelings about you other than the realization you are one of many who despise me.  I can deal with that.

What I can't live with is being a charity case on AIDSmeds and I thank you for your unequivocal contempt for someone as pathetic as I am.  Your unwielding sense of moral superiority is a great service to the world.

I've ingested the triavil and soon my tired old body will cease the biological functions that keep sad old fuckers like me alive.

Tim, Benj, Ann, Philly, Doxie, Matty, HIVworker, Lis, Teresa, Andy, and everyone else who reached out to me, I can never thank you enough.   I was very touched by your kindness.  I know after I'm gone some will remember me fondly but one insignificant person's demise is of little importance in the greater scheme. 

I apologize to everyone who stayed online while I was wishy-washing last night.  At 6 AM my mind is clear and I know my choice is best.  Nobody wants to be bothered by a sad-sack and that is all I am. 

A pathetic excuse for a human who could never come close to your perfection, Jonathan. You're truly an example all good people should try to emulate.  One couldn't get closer to cosmic pefection than you.  I leave this mortal coil in awe of your perfection.  If I only had the capacity to be superior to the rest of the poor suckers stuck in this world I might remotely approximate your apotheosis, but I cannot.  I can't even try; futility personified.

Timmy, I'm sorry to let you down.  You kept me alive longer than anyone else could have.  I know once I'm gone you may have regrets but you helped me get past a crisis and you must remember that.  I love you.  I love you.

Boo
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write © 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline GSOgymrat

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  • Posts: 5,029
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #202 on: April 10, 2007, 07:32:53 AM »
I don't know everything you are going through but I wish you would not give up. You'll be letting all those conservative assholes you hate so much win.

Offline Peter Staley

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  • Founder & Advisory Editor, AIDSmeds.com
    • AIDSmeds.com
Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #203 on: April 10, 2007, 08:06:48 AM »
That's great, Boo.  The first thing you do after I lift the ban is vicously attack someone who reached out to you.

Amazing.

Offline Boo Radley

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    • Animal Rescue New Orleans
Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #204 on: April 10, 2007, 08:25:08 AM »
That's great, Boo.  The first thing you do after I lift the ban is vicously attack someone who reached out to you.

Amazing.

Isn't it amazing?  A loving, caring person like Jonathan reaches out to me and I bite off the hand extending the olive branch.  Did you bother to read any of the posts that preceded mine?

Just ban me again.  The dead don't give a fuck about the Internet or AIDSmeds.  Thanks for all you've done.  You're a real mensch.

 
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write © 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline Dachshund

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  • Posts: 5,959
Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #205 on: April 10, 2007, 08:26:37 AM »
Please everyone just step back and take a minute...this can all be worked out.

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,959
Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #206 on: April 10, 2007, 08:38:57 AM »
Look I know everyone is on edge but I hope things can calm down. I have sent Boo pm's and emails and hope to talk to him about his anger. So please keep that in mind before we pass judgement and I respectfully ask that we keep the comments to a minimum.

Thanks for your patience.
Hal

Offline Lis

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Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #207 on: April 10, 2007, 08:51:27 AM »
good morning Boo..

your in my prayers....
poz 1986....

Offline Tim Horn

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Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #208 on: April 10, 2007, 09:33:28 AM »
Okay, gang...

Here's what we, the moderators, are up against.

Around 12:30 last night, Peter reactivated Rob's account so that he could communicate with everyone as Boo Radley, given the seriousness of the situation at hand.  He posted messages as Boo Radley at 12:58, 1:05, and 1:21, sounding exhausted and exasperated.  This, however, didn't stop him from using a new account, "slothgoth" (created 4/6/07), so that he could participate in a totally unrelated Forum thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=11146.msg139370#msg139370).

This is by no means the first time Rob has used other accounts to continue some sort of charade.  Clever Rob has figured out a way to create multiple accounts without us being able to easily detect them (and it seems as if we're not able to do anything about this).  He's been doing this for quite some time... not only has he managed to fool us, he's definitely fooled his friends and peers in the Forums. 

The administrators and moderators will always take suicide threats in the Forums very seriously. We did everything possible to help him -- reopened his Boo Radley account, had Peter and Andy on line to offer additional support, and helped ensure that police and EMS were dispatched.  We are not sorry for any of this and will continue to keep his Boo Radley account open, so that he may continue communicating with his Forums support network (it should be mentioned, however, that Forums support is intended to supplement -- not replace -- professional care). 

However, we feel it is our duty to notify everyone that Rob has repeatedly chosen to disregard the basic rules of the Forums -- as recently as 1:40 this morning, in the midst of an apparent psychological break -- to continue this unacceptable activity. 

Tim Horn

« Last Edit: April 10, 2007, 09:38:07 AM by Tim Horn »

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #209 on: April 10, 2007, 09:53:42 AM »
Boo,

My dear dear man.  You and I dont know each other but in passing on this board.  But I cant tell you how deeply your leaving this world would affect me.  You are a good and decent man at heart and I know this because of the strong feelings I have for you.  I am on the verge of tears as I right this as I am unable to give you more than words at your greatest time of need.  Were you here, I would hold you and let you rage against everything and everyone till you felt the hate and depression drain from you.  We would talk, and because I've come to know you I'm quite sure we would laugh. 

Take a deep breath Boo.  Get some help PLEASE.  And when you are in a better place Boo, come see me.  I feel it would be a mistake not to personally know a man a care for so much online.  My home is open to you, if you need help with travel arrangements I can help with that too.  We can lounge by the pool and talk about how quirky and aloof Benj is, and why we find it so endearing.  And I can tell you, in person, why this world is a better place with you in it.

You've made some mistakes on here.  None of which are unfixable.  Most of us on here have big hearts that are built specifically for compassion and forgiveness.  The internet can be a cold place, but it can also serve notice as to how many of us you affect positively with who you are. 

GODDAMNIT BOO I dont want to say goodbye to someone I havent really met yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok....crying at work..... ill be back.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Miss Philicia

  • Member
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  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #210 on: April 10, 2007, 11:10:52 AM »
Boo, as a friend I want to give you love, but maybe some tough love (and no, no pity, so don't go there).  Don't complicate things by doing what Tim Horn just said and creating more user names.  I'm not sure why you're doing this except maybe for some odd amusement or simply because technically you can... you know, from an IP mutational aspect.  But let's concentrate on Boo and Boo's needs.

Part of me says as one, if not *the*, last person to talk to you directly on the phone before this incident last night, and as you actually discussed the suicide topic with me, I should have realized the emphasis I needed to place on this discussion.  And thunter34 knows that I discussed it with him, but at that time I hadn't decided where to go with it.  I generally believe that when some people are mirred in deep depression they often need some "space"... but then again sometime they need more social interaction.  It's a fine line... and a line so fine it's hard for me to often figure out.  I guess I didn't do a good job on that front.

Anyway, I just know that personally I enjoy you, or I'd not talk to you about silly yet enjoyable things for 2-hour phone conversations, until my ear hurts from using the phone so very much longer than I normally do.  Like thunter, I'm not particularly what I call a Phone Queen.  But you're a fun phone talker so I indulge myself.  What I'm saying is that you have a worth in this world, and I wish you would realize this... even if only for the pets :) 

At any rate, I want to be here for support when/if you decide you need it, but I also think on your end you do need more support than you will get on the internet and I'm sure you realize it.  I know you're not going to want to tell a mental health person what just happened last night, because they will proceed to go down a road you do not wish to go down with treatment.  We discussed this on the phone.  Maybe some other people here can offer productive suggestions for how Boo should proceed in terms of this.

As it is I don't know how much to offer on the board in terms of any more personal details of our phone conversation to put out here without Robert/Boo's approval.  Maybe I've said too much, and perhaps that's why I hung back a bit on the thread last night... though it got to a point where my jumping in would not have been productive in the search for the last name/hotels blah blah blah.  I'm sorry that thunter34 had to do all the work, but that's just how it worked out because he had a last name and email account.  If I'd had the info I'd have been more than willing to do legwork, but at some point too many hands in the pie make a larger mess.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline Buckmark

  • Member
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  • Would you like to tie me up with your ties, Ty?
    • Henry's Home Page
Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #211 on: April 10, 2007, 12:35:56 PM »
Not only am I glad that Boo is still here (which I posted about in the
"Please Go To Sleep" thread), but I am also thankful that there are so
many kind and compassionate folks here that care enough to take action
and get involved.

Hugs,

Henry
"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline Life

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  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #212 on: April 10, 2007, 12:56:29 PM »
Boo...  Please,  step back from all of this....

I love you to and I know you have the wherewithall to get through this...

Love,

Eric

Offline Boo Radley

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  • Not a "real man" and damn proud, mithter... FAB
    • Animal Rescue New Orleans
Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #213 on: April 10, 2007, 01:53:40 PM »
Around 12:30 last night, Peter reactivated Rob's account so that he could communicate with everyone as Boo Radley, given the seriousness of the situation at hand.  He posted messages as Boo Radley at 12:58, 1:05, and 1:21, sounding exhausted and exasperated.  This, however, didn't stop him from using a new account, "slothgoth" (created 4/6/07), so that he could participate in a totally unrelated Forum thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=11146.msg139370#msg139370).

Yeah, that's right, like I told Tim, I logged in using slothgoth so I wouldn't be noticed.  So fucking sorry, Tim Horn, that I posted a comment that proves beyond a doubt I was only fucking around with everyone for attention.   Time for Jonathan to post one of his BULLSHIT CALL messages.

Quote
This is by no means the first time Rob has used other accounts to continue some sort of charade.  Clever Rob has figured out a way to create multiple accounts without us being able to easily detect them (and it seems as if we're not able to do anything about this).  He's been doing this for quite some time... not only has he managed to fool us, he's definitely fooled his friends and peers in the Forums.   

I think I explained before I created several accounts but if you notice the only one I posted messages with was StanDaMan.  Please reread the initial post in this thread.  I haven't fooled any of my friends because they knew it was me and we PMed each other in the hope you stupid fucking bastards wouldn't detect me again as you did Klaatu (and anyone who thinks I was trying to hide behind Klaatu needs to read the messages posted because they SCREAM my name) [Ann, you are excluded from my pissy and hostile comments, please believe me].   

Quote
The administrators and moderators will always take suicide threats in the Forums very seriously. We did everything possible to help him -- reopened his Boo Radley account, had Peter and Andy on line to offer additional support, and helped ensure that police and EMS were dispatched.  We are not sorry for any of this and will continue to keep his Boo Radley account open, so that he may continue communicating with his Forums support network (it should be mentioned, however, that Forums support is intended to supplement -- not replace -- professional care).

Whoop de fucking doo.   Thank you for the clarification - I thought AIDSmeds was my professional psychological care provider all this time.  I love to screw around with my psychiatrist so I thought AM was fair game too.  Only problem is if I tell him I'm suicidal he has to commit me to a psychiatric ward but I've been there, done that, and death is far more preferable to being locked up in the loony bin again.

Quote
However, we feel it is our duty to notify everyone that Rob has repeatedly chosen to disregard the basic rules of the Forums -- as recently as 1:40 this morning, in the midst of an apparent psychological break -- to continue this unacceptable activity.
 

Oh, god, that certainly proves I was just having a bit of fun a your expense, doesn't it?  I'm truly, truly sorry I didn't die last night but Tim talked me out of it, that rat bastard.  It's all his fault.  Surely it is your duty now to chastise Tim for stopping me from doing what I wanted to do.  Bad, Bad Tim!!

Since I didn't come through on my promise to off myself last night I'll make sure to do it soon.  Is sometime within the next week satisfactory or would you prefer I do it now?   If I can be assured of at least 6 hours of peace the triavil should do the job. 

Tim, Benj, Hal, David, Lis, HIVworker, Teresa, Ann, Andy, AC, and everyone else who held out a hand last night, I am sorry I caused you such distress.  I love you all and hope you will forgive me for the horrid things I've done.  I should have done what I did in 1999 -- just take the pills and go to sleep, but this time pray I won't wake up.  I'm going to give it my best shot.  Wish me luck!!   

Tim Horn, Peter Staley, Jonathan Kvetch, please forgive me for disrupting your lives and ruining your night.  It won't happen again.

Please ban Boo Radley because he is not the sort of person you want as a forum member. God only knows what horseshit he will dig up if you don't deal swiftly and decisively now.  r54444You certainly don't want such a pitiable, pitiful creature hanging around spreading gloom and doom.  It would be best if you rescind the TOs on Al and koi and scottttt so everything can return to normal.   Then again, if I get it right this time there will be no need to ban Boo or any of the other 50,000 profiles I created just to harass and intimidate everyone and make AIDSmeds a dangerously unsafe place. 

I've made my bed and now must die in it.  There's no other way out. 

Please excuse my dust.

P.S.  Don't call or email anyone because I can't afford to check in to another hotel.  Just leave me alone.  Thank you!!
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write © 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #214 on: April 10, 2007, 01:58:22 PM »
You may wish to give up on you Boo.  But dont expect us to give up on you!  You know us better than that. 
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline HIVworker

  • Member
  • Posts: 918
  • HIV researcher
Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #215 on: April 10, 2007, 07:25:53 PM »
Boo. I don't understand what is going on. What I don't appreciate is that at the sign of any criticism you drop the noose over your head. If a user on this forum is annoying you as much as Jonathan does, then hit the ignore button. Don't drop a noose over your head and use it as some justification that you are not good enough for the world. That's not fair on you and it's not fair on us. I wanted to reach out to you last night because that is what a support forum does. I would like you to continue to be on here. However, I want you to be fair with us too. I don't think you wasted our time. I don't pity you either. I do want you to get an even keel. And you won't do that unless you hit the ignore button and stop winding yourself up.

R
NB. Any advice about HIV is given in addition to your own medical advice and not intended to replace it. You should never make clinical decisions based on what anyone says on the internet but rather check with your ID doctor first. Discussions from the internet are just that - Discussions. They may give you food for thought, but they should not direct you to do anything but fuel discussion.

Offline bravebuddharich

  • Member
  • Posts: 179
Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #216 on: April 10, 2007, 08:36:38 PM »
Is everybody allright now?? I was amazed by the great compassion for another human being in these threads, namaste

a little over a year ago, a guy named Jonathon killed himself - we, his friends, tried so hard to get him to go out of his house, to go to movies, or lunch, or whatever... just get him out of his staying at home and clinging to his addiction to alcohol. He was only 30 years old.

I hope Rob gets the help that he needs, and acknowledges fully that he is worthy of the help

Offline Boo Radley

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    • Animal Rescue New Orleans
Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #217 on: April 11, 2007, 09:08:42 PM »
Oh, jesus, I don’t want to rehash any of this but I must apologize to everyone again.  I apologize to Tim Horn and Peter Staley for furiously ranting in my response to Tim’s message http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=11152.msg139488#msg139488.   I am sorry and apologize for “shitting” on them and anyone else who feels my final post was less than exemplary and a slap in the face.   I would erase what I wrote but that would elicit claims I was trying to deny the facts.  I take responsibility although I am greatly ashamed of my words and actions that night.  Thank you, Peter, for allowing me to return.  Despite my apparent lack of appreciation I am indeed very grateful.

When I read Mr. Horn’s post it seemed, and still does after reading it again, to suggest my antics were only a ruse for attention and nothing else.  Tim explains “This, however, didn't stop him from using a new account, "slothgoth" (created 4/6/07), so that he could participate in a totally unrelated Forum thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=11146.msg139370#msg139370).”  to apparently demonstrate my frivolity and calculated manipulation of forum members. 

I logged on as slothgoth after I got to the hotel.  I did not want anyone to know I was online.  Totally irrational but not an attempt to stir up more than I had. (if I had wanted to screw around as much as possible with people wouldn’t I have done more than post one stupid message?).   I don’t remember why I read the thread I posted in.  I’m not sure how time-stamps work but slothgoth’s account was set to west coast time and I believe I posted it at 11:40 PM CDT, not 1:40 AM EDT.  It was my first post after “Goodbye…” was started.  I was talking to thunter34 on the phone and when I saw his message think I responded as a way to let him know I was online.  I really don’t remember but the amount of Jack Daniels in my body at the time certainly clouded my thinking, which was very murky already.

Mr. Horn explains how “He's [i.e., I] been doing this [i.e., logging on with fake accounts]  for quite some time  ... not only has he managed to fool us, he's definitely fooled his friends and peers in the Forums.”  I created my first dummy account around March 10 after I was given a TO on March 6/7.  I was angry about the TO and felt I deserved a warning, which isn’t an excuse by any means.  Part of the reason for creating “curmudgeonly” was to see if I could do it.  To explain more would tell others how to create duplicate accounts so I won’t.  I don’t think the period from 3/6 to 4/10 is accurately described as “quite some time” but it’s irrelevant.  I’m sure Mr. Horn stands by his words completely.

I didn’t expect Mr. Horn to send me a basket of hugs but his post still seems to paint my actions in the worst possible light.  About 6 AM CDT Tuesday morning I  washed down a handful of pills with Jack Daniels and composed the message posted around that time.  At about 6:15 someone knocked on the hotel room door and I freaked, assuming it was the police or EMT.  It was only a copy of USA Today but by then I realized room service would be showing up in a couple of hours and check-out time was noon.   I’d fucked up my plan and was not going to chance being discovered unconscious and wake up in a hospital. 

I checked out of the hotel and went home, circling the block to be sure no police or other officials were present.  My rage at that point was incredible, mostly because I put many good people in an awful situation, wasted money I don’t have on a hotel and, worse, for the 3rd time in my life failed in an attempt to kill myself. 

I lashed out at Mr. Horn and Mr. Staley and Jonathan and nothing I write now changes that.  I am sorry about everything but still nothing is changed.   I cannot undo what I have done and do not expect or deserve forgiveness from anyone.   I do not apologize to Jonathan for anything and accept my pettiness as a serious flaw.  Jonathan’s posts that night and prior make it quite clear what he thinks of me.  He is obviously entitled to his opinion but so am I.  I will take HIVworker’s advice and use the ignore button

I’ve written far too much as usual but succinctness is a gift I’ve never had.  I thank everyone who was there for me, especially thunter34 who kept me occupied long enough that I calmed down for several hours.   I know many of you were doing everything you could to help me and I will never forget.  Right now it's taking every ounce of courage I have to post this and I fully expect to anger some people further.  I won't lie about what I am or how I think.  If you want to comment please do so but I am going to try not publicly posting anything more in relation to this issue. 

I have scheduled an intake appointment at NO/AIDS Task Force next week and will begin seeing a therapist as soon as possible.  I cannot undo the damage and to those who do not forgive me I ask you to put me on ignore.  The mortification I feel is permanent and I will never be able to think of this incident without shame and regret.  I know I should not state this but I wish I had succeeded (and there seems to be a consensus among some my death would have been the preferable way to end the episode, and they are perfectly right) .   I'm not looking for pity or even understanding.  If you don't know what severe depression is like you have no idea what my daily life entails.  I won't bore anyone further.

If my further presence here proves too distasteful for too many people or my willful disregard for AM rules makes me more of a pariah I will do my best to leave, but my desire to be here is what started this mess in the first place.  I know a handful of people are still my friends and if I can continue to interact with them without causing too much disgust in others I will.
« Last Edit: April 11, 2007, 11:09:10 PM by Boo Radley »
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write © 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Ninja Please
Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #218 on: April 11, 2007, 09:17:59 PM »
I have scheduled an intake appointment at NO/AIDS Task Force next week and will begin seeing a therapist as soon as possible.  I cannot undo the damage and to those who do not forgive me I ask you to put me on ignore.  The mortification I feel is permanent and I will never be able to think of this incident without shame and regret.  I know I should not state this but I wish I had succeeded (and there seems to be a consensus among some my death would have been the preferable way to end the episode, and they are perfectly right) .   I'm not looking for pity or even understanding.  If you don't know what severe depression is like you have no idea what my daily life entails.  I won't bore anyone further.

Boo,

I think that the totality of your contributions to these forums over the years cast you in a good light, despite any breaches of the rules you may have committed recently.

Since your account is still operative I suspect that the opportunity to be amongst us is stil open to you.

There are a good many of us who love you dearly and yearn for the sparklingly witty and profoundly insightful Boodles we know to return to our screens.

I hope that this new round of therapy can help to alleviate the dreadful suffering mental illness has brought to your life.

MtD
(Who loves the ornery SOB) :-*

Offline Teresa

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Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #219 on: April 11, 2007, 09:22:20 PM »
                              

Love
Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline Basquo

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Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #220 on: April 11, 2007, 09:24:31 PM »
>THAT<    was not expected!

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #221 on: April 11, 2007, 09:35:46 PM »
>THAT<    was not expected!

Expect nothing, dearest Creighton, and everything comes as a surprise. ;)

MtD

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #222 on: April 11, 2007, 09:43:01 PM »
I talked to Boo on the phone a couple hours ago, and what he wrote above is pretty much what he expressed to me at certain points.  He's very genuine and I hope folks here can bear that it in mind.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline Basquo

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Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #223 on: April 11, 2007, 09:44:32 PM »


Expect nothing, dearest Creighton, and everything comes as a surprise. ;)

MtD

I expect nothing, and I think sometimes I will get it with interest, but after the 80's and early 90's, you can trust me when I say that there is never a dull moment in my life.

Sometimes, everything comes out at sunrise.

Offline HIVworker

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Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #224 on: April 11, 2007, 10:44:53 PM »
Well, he used the ignore button. Maybe that will help in the future? I hope so..

R
NB. Any advice about HIV is given in addition to your own medical advice and not intended to replace it. You should never make clinical decisions based on what anyone says on the internet but rather check with your ID doctor first. Discussions from the internet are just that - Discussions. They may give you food for thought, but they should not direct you to do anything but fuel discussion.

Offline Tim Horn

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Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #225 on: April 12, 2007, 12:41:34 AM »
Boo:

First off, I am not doubting the crisis you were/are in -- or any of the situations contributing to it (I certainly don't claim to know what these are) -- the other night. I meant what I said... we treat suicide threats extremely seriously.  Yours is not the first we've dealt with in the Forums and, I fear, it will not be the last. 

I don't think your post was a "ruse for attention."  Not at all.  I still believe that you issued, in no uncertain terms, a cry for help.  The difference between the two is not lost on me. 

Here's the thing, Boo... we do have very basic rules in the Forums.  The fact is, no matter how distressed a member becomes, we simply must hold that person to the same rules as everyone else to keep this space safe and running as smoothly as possible.  Everyone here comes to the Forums with different histories, periods of intense anger and depression, and diverse ways of dealing with internal and external stress.  As we're dealing with 6,000 members, it's virtually impossible for four moderators -- two of whom don't even spend a lot of time in the Forums (Peter and myself) -- to keep track of everyone's current emotional status to determine the root cause of antagonism, flame baiting, multiple accounts, etc.  In effect, we expect everyone to live by the same rules... and if they can't follow basic guidelines, regardless of how awful things are for them personally, we must go through the motions of warnings, time outs, and bannings. 

The fact is, Boo, we bent the rules for you -- the first time we've ever done so -- to allow you to continue participating in the Forums, using your widely recognized moniker, as you seem to need the Forums in a really bad way right now.  In return, what did you do?  You fired up another user login -- only an hour or so after we released the ban on "Boo Radley" -- to post in another thread.  That really sucked, Boo... and, yes, all of the moderators were friggin' pissed about it.  Do we want your thanks or appreciation?  No... all we want you to do is to follow the basic rules in the Forums -- not creating other accounts being being at the top of the list -- and to treat these rules with respect.

At any rate, I'm really hoping you can put this, and the other frustrations you have with the AIDSmeds.com Forums and select members, behind you so that you can take advantage of what you seem to really want (and need) from the Forums -- the love, support, compassion, and guidance of those who genuinely stand behind you. 

Tim

   

Offline Boo Radley

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Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #226 on: April 12, 2007, 02:20:13 AM »
The fact is, Boo, we bent the rules for you -- the first time we've ever done so -- to allow you to continue participating in the Forums, using your widely recognized moniker, as you seem to need the Forums in a really bad way right now.  In return, what did you do?  You fired up another user login -- only an hour or so after we released the ban on "Boo Radley" -- to post in another thread.  That really sucked, Boo... and, yes, all of the moderators were friggin' pissed about it.  Do we want your thanks or appreciation?  No... all we want you to do is to follow the basic rules in the Forums -- not creating other accounts being being at the top of the list -- and to treat these rules with respect.

Mr. Horn:

I know you and Peter and Ann and Andy bent the rules for me and I do appreciate it more than you'll ever know.   I am not trying to excuse any of the wrongs I committed.   Once I realized I could create multiple accounts the "power" went to my head.  If you have not deleted rhoda_p and cleosophy they're garbage too. 

What I tried to explain, apparently unclearly, is that it was 11:40 PM HERE when I posted as slothgoth and the ban on Boo had not been lifted, or if it had been I didn't know it.    As soon as I posted the message I logged out feeling like a bigger jackanapes than I already felt like.  It was a stupid, drunken blunder of an emotionally distraught idiot.  I don't deny creating the accounts and seriously abusing the rules and have apologized for doing so.

Again, I am not trying to excuse any of my actions but your belief I logged in after the ban was lifted is wrong, period.  After I logged in as Boo I did not and have not used any of the "duplicitous" accounts, as Bailey so eloquently and unintentionally put it (he meant duplicate, without a doubt).  You have every reason to be "friggin pissed" at me but not for that specific reason.   If you want to believe I'm lying I can't do much about it but I did not use any alias again after Boo was back in.  I accept responsibility for everything I did but in this one detail, which upset all of you so much, I am innocent.  I admitted everything else and have no reason to belabor this point except you believe I did something I am sure I did not do.
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write © 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline Boo Radley

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Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #227 on: April 12, 2007, 08:38:50 AM »
Although I am in disbelief Ann has shown me the time-stamps of the posts by slothgoth and Boo are in the order Tim Horn described them and not the one I claim to be correct.  Ann kindly tried to assure me the booze and drugs and chaos of that night screwed up my memory but I think I'm in worse trouble than I realized.  Fantasy and reality were never as close as they apparently are now.   I wish I'd died at birth.

I apologize once again.
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write © 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline Ann

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Re: Another goodbye on an otherwise dull Monday
« Reply #228 on: April 12, 2007, 10:46:34 AM »
Boo,

In thinking more about this, I suddenly realised that your confusion probably stemmed from the time-stamps you saw at the time of posting, which would have been different from one account to the other. So no, you're not going crazy and no, you're not worse off than you thought.

I'd like to ask everyone to try and put this behind us so we can all move forward. To help make this possible, I'm going to lock this thread and I (and the other moderators) thank you all for your cooperation in letting the matter rest.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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