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Author Topic: There's A New Girl In Town....  (Read 4106 times)

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Offline Carolann

  • Member
  • Posts: 233
There's A New Girl In Town....
« on: April 09, 2007, 03:39:26 PM »
Actually a new woman.  I have been reading here and have decided to finally open up and join the group.

My name is Carol.  I have been living with HIV now since early 1993.  I was infected by my late husband.  We met in graduate school studying social work.  He had a pretty difficult past and struggled with sexual addiction.  He very often strayed sexually while he was with me.  He was what some might call "heteroflexible" in that he considered himself a heterosexual man who enjoyed bathhouses etc. 

I had no idea of his other life until 1994 when he became violently ill.  He had HIV related pneumonia and KS.  He was diagnosed with 20 T cells and he died within three months of his diagnosis.

I tested positve shortly after.  I remained asymptomatic with my T cells ranging between 450 and 500.  Then in 2002 my T cells dropped to 104.  I started HAART and since then my CD4 Count is 907. VL undectable, and my percentage is 33 percent.

I work full time and am a LCSW (licensed clinical social worker).  I work with people living with chronic illnesses such as HIV.

I have taken a week off for the first time in a year and have read these forums non-stop for the last couple of days.  Interesting information everywhere. 

I look forward to learning from you brave people.


Offline PeteNYNJ

  • Member
  • Posts: 979
  • When life gives you AIDS...make LemonAIDS!
    • Dance for Me, Puppets
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2007, 03:42:18 PM »
Welcome Carolann :) 

Hope to get to know you better in the near future.

Pete

Offline Carolann

  • Member
  • Posts: 233
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2007, 03:45:46 PM »
Thank you Pete. 


Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2007, 03:46:43 PM »
Glad you found us Carolann.  Im sure some poltergeist jokes will be coming as we get to know you better.

I am sorry that your here but glad you came forward.  I look forward to getting to know you in the future!

Welcome!

Andrew
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #4 on: April 09, 2007, 03:49:34 PM »
Hi Carolann,

welcome to the forums. I'm not sure this last week was the best aidmeds week, things are not always that cahotic :D Thank you for your work, I'm sure your knowledge in the area will be valuable to us too.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline jimw

  • Member
  • Posts: 109
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #5 on: April 09, 2007, 03:51:17 PM »
From someone who only recently came forward and joined the group himself - Welcome!!!!! 

Offline Carolann

  • Member
  • Posts: 233
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #6 on: April 09, 2007, 03:55:16 PM »
I found that there was chaotic behavior, but a lot of really intelligent input. Lots of smart and funny people here.

Offline JesusLovesYou

  • Member
  • Posts: 35
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #7 on: April 09, 2007, 03:55:23 PM »
Welcome CarolAnn.

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #8 on: April 09, 2007, 03:56:37 PM »
Luckily, we seem to have taken care of a lot of the chaos. Welcome to AIDSMEDS!

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline woodshere

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,477
  • ain't no shame in my game
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #9 on: April 09, 2007, 04:01:25 PM »
CarolAnn,

Welcome.  I just read your post in the "I've been bad" thread.  It speaks volumes about the type of person you are.  I think you will be a most welcomed addition and look forward to reading your posts and gaining from your voice.

Woods
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline Carolann

  • Member
  • Posts: 233
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #10 on: April 09, 2007, 04:08:26 PM »
Woods,

Thank you. 

I may from time to time talk about my ex husband, and some of his issues, and our issues (the issues he had when he was alive).

I saw his struggle with sexual addiction as something that had no reflection on me as a person or as a woman. It was what he had to struggle with.  And he did struggle.  A lot of things got him to where he was.  I didn't blame him for that, how could I?

And yes, he was my best friend, even though I was directly infected from him.  He didn't do it intentionally, it just was what it was.

I will continue to say that sex does not make people bad.  Deliberate cruelty makes people bad.  Sex can be used to cause pain and suffering, anything can. 

Offline keyite

  • Member
  • Posts: 514
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #11 on: April 09, 2007, 04:09:28 PM »
Welcome from me too. Look forward to hearing more from you... ;)

Offline JohnOso

  • Member
  • Posts: 816
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #12 on: April 09, 2007, 04:10:32 PM »
CarolAnn,

Welcome to the forums!  I've been "living with.." for about a year now.  I'm pleased to see that you're a social worker helping others dealing with chronic illnesses.  I'm an ICU nurse myself.  Looking forward to your contributions from your unique perspective(s).

Take care,
John

Offline RAB

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,895
  • Joined March 2003
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #13 on: April 09, 2007, 06:35:15 PM »
Hello Carol

You've found one of the best places on the internet for those of us with HIV/AIDS. 

There are some really generous/knowledgeable members here when it comes to this virus we all share.

So welcome.

RAB

Offline ndrew

  • Member
  • Posts: 695
  • ....-.-.-.-.-.....
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #14 on: April 09, 2007, 07:00:21 PM »
Welcome Carolann!!

I look forward to your being part of the community here!!

Kindest,
Drew

Offline budndallastx

  • Member
  • Posts: 463
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #15 on: April 09, 2007, 07:42:20 PM »
Welcome Carolann !! 

I hope you find this site as educational and useful as me.  I continue to learn from everyone one here;  Amazing people, amazing stories and amazing experience. 

Tom
Meds since: 11/20/2006
Sustiva / Truvada
12/08/2008 VL:<48 CD4 622 (38%)   
9/8/2008 VL:<48 CD4 573 (30%)
5/2008 VL:<48 CD4 464 (30%)
1/2008  VL: <50  CD4 425(28%)
9/2007   VL: <50  CD4 465 (27%)
6/2007   VL: <50   CD4 443 (26%)
3/2007  VL: <50   CD4 385 (25%)
12/2006 - VL: <50   CD4: 384 (25%)
11/2006 - VL:  22K  CD4: 208 (18%)

Offline cjc

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,011
  • Sweet Girl
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #16 on: April 09, 2007, 07:50:54 PM »
Welcome. This is a great place. Hope you like it here.  Cristy

Offline Jnm594

  • Member
  • Posts: 111
  • Fight! Fight! Fight the Good Fight!
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #17 on: April 09, 2007, 07:54:12 PM »
Welcome! Hope you find this site informative and helpful!!  :D :D
When it gets hard I always listen to my favorite song of all time..........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJEYu3KgWCE

Offline Robert

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,643
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #18 on: April 09, 2007, 09:36:23 PM »
Hi Carolann

It sounds to me like you've done your homework and you know you're getting yourself into.  Yes, they're are a lot of smart and funny people here.  And opinionated people.  And quiet people.  And old people and young people and singles and couples.  Conservatives and liberals and socialists and Bolsheviks  Welcome to the mix. 

Enjoy!

robert

..........

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,383
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #19 on: April 09, 2007, 11:55:26 PM »
Great to have you join us, Carolann. Looking forward to hearing more from you and getting to know you better.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline StrongGuy

  • Member
  • Posts: 492
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #20 on: April 10, 2007, 01:00:54 AM »
Welcome CarolAnn!

Some of my best friends are Social Workers. They are unsung heroes!

Mikey
"Get your medical advice from Doctors or medical professionals who you trust and know your history."

"Beware of the fortune teller doom and gloomers who seek to bring you down and are only looking for company, purpose and validation - not your best physical/mental interests."

"You know you all are saying that this is incurable. When the real thing you should be saying is it's not curable at the present time' because as we know, the great strides we've made in medicine." - Elizabeth Edwards

Offline OzPaul

  • Member
  • Posts: 410
  • a very blessed 29 year ltnp
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #21 on: April 10, 2007, 02:31:46 AM »
Hi Carolann

Welcome to our global family. I'll look forward to hearing from you as the months unfold.

Cheers
Paul

Offline Mouse

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,463
  • Om nom nom.
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #22 on: April 10, 2007, 03:03:32 AM »
Carol Ann? Like that creepy little girl in Poltergeist? Eek.  :D

First thing that popped into my head. Sorry.

Good luck here, though. There are a good bunch of people here that for the most part kick ass. They're not hard to find.

Offline Central79

  • Member
  • Posts: 527
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #23 on: April 10, 2007, 07:06:24 AM »
Hey CarolAnn

Welcome to the forum - your story is pretty incredible. I look forward to you posting and learning more about you.

Matt.
Diagnosed January 2006
26/1/06 - 860 (22%), VL > 500,000
24/4/06 - 820 (24.6%), VL 158,000
13/7/06 - 840 (22%), VL 268,000
1/11/06 - 680 (21%), VL 93,100
29/1/07 - 1,020 (27.5%), VL 46,500
15/5/07 - 1,140 (22.8%), VL not done.
13/10/07 - 759 (23.2%), VL 170,000
6/11/07 - 630 (25%), VL 19,324
14/1/08 - 650 (21%), VL 16,192
15/4/08 - 590 (21%), VL 40, 832

Offline SASA39

  • Member
  • Posts: 690
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #24 on: April 10, 2007, 07:43:14 AM »
Welcome..........
The more diversity , the better we become !
                                                Al
Oct.     `06.  CD4=58  ?    %       VL not perform. ?!?
25.Dec.`06.         203       14        VL= 0
29.May.`07.    broken device        VL=1363
20.June`07     broken device        VL=0
25.Dec `07  CD4=582                  VL=70
14.May `08  CD4=448
29.July `08                                  VL=0
26.Nov `08  CD4=674                    VL=179
16.Mar `09  CD4=554                    VL=0
19.Jan`10 CD4=715               
03.Mar`10                                    VL=0
24.Aug`10 CD4=524                     VL=0
04.Dec`10 CD4=626                     VL=0
15.Sep`11                                   VL=93
17.Nov`11                                   VL=0
05/26 .Jul`12 CD4=713                 VL=0
28.Nov`12 CD4=916                     VL=0
09.May`13                                 VL=0

Offline Christine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,069
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #25 on: April 10, 2007, 12:48:20 PM »
I saw his struggle with sexual addiction as something that had no reflection on me as a person or as a woman. 

Welcome Carol!

Your post touched me. I was infected by my ex-boyfriend, while I am not mad or upset at him, I do struggle with forgiving myself for acquiring hiv. I guess I do see his faults as a reflection on me, because I choose him.

I question myself as to why I choose to be with someone who had so many problems.

My question to you...is how do you not see his behaviors as a reflection upon you?

I hope it is not to personal of a question.

I think your insight and experience will be a great addition to our forum family.

Christine
Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #26 on: April 10, 2007, 01:53:08 PM »
Hi CarolAnn
Join the discussion! Glad you spoke up.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline kellyspoppi

  • Member
  • Posts: 153
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #27 on: April 10, 2007, 02:49:28 PM »
welcome carolann,
i, too, am new to this group. don't know why it took me sooo long. been trying to contribute lately to other topics, and time is limited while here at work. but i hope to provide some positive input, being poz since 1986.
i have done some public speaking on grief and loss issues with lcsw majors at an upstate new york college over the past several years and they asked many questions. the most attentive & inquisitive group i ever spoke before.
i too was infected by my unknowing partner who was infected by a blood transfusion before we met. but i don't know if it would have changed how i felt about her had she knowingly infected me. we were very much in love at the time we found out, and if i learned she had known all along, i just don't know if it would have changed anything....... maybe i'm kidding myself...... but the fact is after she passed, i began attending an hiv support group and during those pre-haart days alot of discussion centered around whether or not to disclose to a new partner and if so, when to tell a new partner your status. the group was made up of a mix of gay and straight folks, and on this topic, the discussions got pretty heated.
all i can say to you is for me, once i found myself alone again, living with hiv, having sex with negative women, without disclosing ahead of time, became a real issue for me, so much so, that i finally came to a decision not to date negative women.  once you've gone to get results with someone you think you may have infected, the sense of panic and potential guilt can be overwhelming. :o    after the first time of going through that, i gave up dating negative women.
during the time it took to find a positive woman (my current wife) i had a lot of time to think about what it took to finally fill that void. the loneliness and depression i endured, the years of therapy, etc. and a funny thing happened....
you learn that much of the petty bullshit we find we could never accept or live with in another human being becomes easily manageable as long as their is communication and a willingness to work together in that relationship.
so i guess what i'm saying here is that going through this process has made me realize, in hindsight, that i probably would have made a huge mistakle had i broken off a loving relationship just because she failed to disclose her status to me had she known she was positive.
i hope this perspective helps you in your own future process. 
getting out in front of our status, talking about it with others, helps to reduce stigma & STRESS!
kellyspoppi

Offline zeb

  • Member
  • Posts: 172
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #28 on: April 10, 2007, 03:01:07 PM »
Hi Carolann,

It's good to have brave women around here. I'm looking foward to learn from your wisdom.

Zeb

Offline Suntropic98

  • Member
  • Posts: 146
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #29 on: April 10, 2007, 03:59:50 PM »
Hi Carolann.

It sounds to me like your husband was a sex addict. I can relate. There was one point in my life where I had sex with 39 different girls in a month. Thats more than 2 a day. It didnt matter, I just loved pussy from every angle. Now.....I'm stuck with just 1 vagina, and she's short. If there were ever a hell for permiscuious people it would be my life after finding out about being poz. Meanwhile my friends are still banging strippers, cheerleaders, normal women and hooters waitresses and all I can do is watch from the sideline. You have any idea how bad that is? I'm almost positive some women think I'm gay because when the legs were basically spread I didnt stick it.

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,753
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #30 on: April 10, 2007, 05:13:41 PM »
Hello Carolann,

WELCOME!

Hope to hear more from you.

Hugs
Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline Dragonette

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,190
  • Spring symptoms
    • NotPerfectAtAll
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #31 on: April 11, 2007, 01:29:10 PM »
Welcome CarolAnn!

I am relatively new here too... and I don't know how I was infected. However, if someone was sleeping around behind my back and infected me I don't know what I would do. I doubt I would take it the way you did, which only says that you are a more evolved and composed person.

Hope to hear more from you,

Added on 2nd thought: I deleted my story Carol Ann, I don't think it's relevant here. I have just been carrying it around with me today especially.

Welcome again to the forums and I am sure there is a lot you can give and gain here
« Last Edit: April 11, 2007, 05:20:54 PM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline macholicious

  • Member
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  • Teacher by day Hooker at night.
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #32 on: April 11, 2007, 01:34:07 PM »
Carol Ann

Sorry to hear about your infection. Did you contact the clinic where you believe you may have gotten infected? Perhaps there are other women who also got infected with HIV and they don't know. I didn't think things like this happened in this country but I hope you can at least get compensated for something, even though much damage has already been made.

Mark

Offline Carolann

  • Member
  • Posts: 233
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #33 on: April 11, 2007, 02:57:33 PM »
A lotta good info here.  If anyone has question for me, just PM me, and I will answer them. 

I spent the last day with my older sister.

I have tried to catch up on the goings on here this morning.  A lot of chaotic stuff.  Reminds me of my work. 

Thanks for the supportive comments. 

Carol

Offline kellyspoppi

  • Member
  • Posts: 153
Re: There's A New Girl In Town....
« Reply #34 on: April 11, 2007, 03:14:30 PM »
carolann,
ok, i'll ask.
how are you doing on haart?
how are you doing with that void thats been left in your life?
i know it was difficult for me,,,,the void > >:( :o :'(
kellyspoppi

 


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