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Author Topic: People are Mean.............  (Read 6931 times)

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Offline Sdgirl

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  • Posts: 247
People are Mean.............
« on: April 07, 2007, 05:15:39 PM »
Lately, I find it hard to convey the meaning of the word “mean.”  To me, it’s as strong of a word I can use to describe someones deplorable behavior.  MEAN

Mean people are mean on purpose.  They derive some perverse pleasure from being mean and the thing is, it hurts.  Words are mean, actions are mean, and intentions are mean.  It’s a strong word.  Mean

I work with mean people.  They find ways to make my life miserable to makes theirs seem more contented.  The forums have mean people on there too.  People use personal information that you have shared to turn it around and throw it in your face, just to be mean. 

Mean people scare me.  You just never know how far they will go, what their limits of meanness are. I think in school we called them bully’s, as adults it sounds childish to say the word “bully” and even more to say “he/she’s being mean to me.”

I know this virus makes life “complicated” to say the least, but being mean to people doesn’t make it go away, any easier to handle or your own pain lessen.  It does however make you feel isolated, have no friends and cause people to be mean right back at you.  Must be their desired result.

Everyone’s got their own shit.  No one’s left out.  It’s how we handle it that separates us from the masses.  I’d like for you to consider this:

IF, we are the faces of HIV/AIDS in America, is this how we would want people to view us?  Angry, spiteful, unsympathetic, mean people?
« Last Edit: April 07, 2007, 05:18:28 PM by Sdgirl »
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves.."Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?"

Offline ndrew

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  • ....-.-.-.-.-.....
Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2007, 05:32:16 PM »
We are talking about control here.  Abusers were often abused themselves and hurting others is a way for them to act out this pain, as well as gaining control over others, the control they did not have when they were abused.

Sometimes abuse can be masqueraded as teasing or joking, however the underlying issue is there.  "I was just kidding" or "I was just joking..."  The plain truth is that words, when used in this manner are pretty indicative of their originating subject.  The tough thing is to maintain an objective posture in the onslaught of the attack.  They are most often looking for a crack.  It's sad that it come to this really...

Abuser's often claim that "I just couldn't help myself" or "I lost control."  When they are really very much in control.  This is a way for them to both make an unapologetic, underhanded stab, as well as slowly knock out the pins of confidence from their victims.

If we let the words of abusers do their damage, we carry the psychological scars...

Don't be a victim.

Drew

Offline DanielMark

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  • Posts: 1,475
Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2007, 05:42:36 PM »
People who put others down to put themselves up must have really pathetic inner lives.

Imagine what it took to develop into someone like that and be grateful it’s not you.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline ACinKC

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  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2007, 05:47:46 PM »
Very VERY eloquently put SD!

I for one am glad you are back to posting!  Things have a way of evening out on this board it just takes time sometimes.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Dachshund

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #4 on: April 07, 2007, 05:53:30 PM »
People are just people...scratch the surface of any of us and there we are.

Offline budndallastx

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  • Posts: 463
Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #5 on: April 07, 2007, 07:45:22 PM »
One thing that needs to pointed out is that we're all posting to a forum.  Some of us use emoticons to convey feeling but this medium tends to leave context out of the conversation.  Yes, some people are mean for the sake of being mean but others truly are just kidding and didn't mean to hurt anyone.  I am sure if someone does hurt you through their postings, you need to let them know (perhaps privately) how their comments may have hurt you.  If they continue, then report them since they have been warned and continue to do so.

Perhaps, the internet emboldens the bullies but it should also embolden those who would not speak up in a crowd.   No one is an expert on HIV and its effects on the individual so I think each of us needs to listen and empathize.
Meds since: 11/20/2006
Sustiva / Truvada
12/08/2008 VL:<48 CD4 622 (38%)   
9/8/2008 VL:<48 CD4 573 (30%)
5/2008 VL:<48 CD4 464 (30%)
1/2008  VL: <50  CD4 425(28%)
9/2007   VL: <50  CD4 465 (27%)
6/2007   VL: <50   CD4 443 (26%)
3/2007  VL: <50   CD4 385 (25%)
12/2006 - VL: <50   CD4: 384 (25%)
11/2006 - VL:  22K  CD4: 208 (18%)

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #6 on: April 07, 2007, 10:09:36 PM »
People suck.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline milker

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #7 on: April 07, 2007, 10:15:57 PM »
People suck.


Very well thank you.

sdgirl, i think that post came after the blog thing. i only saw few lines of it, and I can't understand why someone would do things like this, it's not mean, it's ridiculous. Don't take it personally, some people have no clue and think they're funny by saying "jokes" about people. They're just struggling with their own rejection. Don't pay attention to this.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Jeff64

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #8 on: April 07, 2007, 10:36:46 PM »
The people you encounter here are no different than those you would meet anywhere else.
I am sorry that you think that mean people are all around you...maybe they are just having a bad day.

I have had bad days...you probably have too.

Look for the best in people...ther is always SOMETHING good about people...even the meanies!

Offline Sdgirl

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  • Posts: 247
Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #9 on: April 07, 2007, 10:44:52 PM »
Okay, let's clear up some things...............I'm not a victim, nor am I "having a bad day".

I wrote this thread to call attention to the fact that we have lost site of the real reasons these forums exist.  They are here so we can live, love, laugh,learn and share.  They are NOT here so we can tear each other down with MEAN words, actions or intentions to make one feel better, or "more than."

Maybe the title should have read "PEOPLE CAN BE MEAN", but lately, right damn here, my experience has been that PEOPLE ARE MEAN.  Again, I find it hard to convey the REAL meaning of the word MEAN.  It still doesn't come across strong enough evidently.

You're right, we encounter mean people everyday and it's how we deal with it that makes a difference.  It's all part of life and, so it would seem, a HUGE part of these forums lately as well.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves.."Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?"

Offline milker

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #10 on: April 07, 2007, 11:23:36 PM »
Well there are people that react to this with laughter, I'm one of them, and I know it may be taken the wrong way by many. I don't think most of the mean posts were meant to be mean. There are a few that will actually do mean posts but they don't last long. The others are, to me, expressing their frustration/anger/scare.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline thunter34

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,314
  • His name is Carl.
Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #11 on: April 07, 2007, 11:24:42 PM »
Again, I find it hard to convey the REAL meaning of the word MEAN.  It still doesn't come across strong enough evidently.



How about this?  "People are bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling."       (or, um....can be)

I got that from Scrubs, btw.  

I understood exactly why you wrote the original post, hon.  And yes, it goes beyond the little blog incident.  Sadly, that incident is really one of the more juvenile and inconsequential examples.  I've been reading things on here lately that are deeper reaching and more sinister.  

And Lisa, um....now that you've "got your broom back", feel free to fly my way whenever.   ;D
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline livingpositively

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  • Posts: 369
Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #12 on: April 08, 2007, 12:31:45 AM »
Don't be a victim.

Sounds to me like the intent of the original post was taken out of context here.  I think the real intent was summed up pretty well in the last statement/question in the post.  Perhaps a little "internet misunderstanding", but knowing SDGirl way beyond these forums, I can, with a p value of .01, say that she is anything but a victim.  I have never heard a "why me" (about anything) come from her.  She is one of the strongest people I have had the pleasure to know.

And no, she doesn't need me, or anyone else, to "defend" her, nor am I "defending" her.  Simply stating an observation as someone who knows her very well.
4/6/07   CD4 450, % 23, No VL
2/19/07 CD4 487, % 26, VL 47,500
1/4/07   CD4 357, % 27, No VL
10/3/06 CD4 500, % 26, VL 18,000
7/6/06   CD4 530, % 29, VL 83,800
4/6/06   CD4 555, % 28, VL 13,000

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #13 on: April 08, 2007, 01:23:20 AM »
Milker, some of us wonder from one day to the next how we will keep breathing. We NEED a forum that means something to US. And LIVING WITH used to be that, a long time ago in a galaxy far away.

Not disparaging your need for humor, or to turn us all away from the darkness. But some of us have issues a little more pressing than counts and numbers. Some of us are actually dying from this. And we need a place without the onslaught of shrill, hysterical laughter.

This from a genuinely funny person, I might add.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Christine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,069
Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #14 on: April 08, 2007, 11:45:04 AM »
I agree with you. I think some people are mean. Innate meanness. I think evil is real. Some people are evil. They take pleasure from seeing you hurt. My Dad was mean. I grew up in a chaotic, mean home. I was 19 years old when I understood he enjoyed seeing me cry and hurt. I could see it in his eyes. I will never forget the look, and feeling I had when I realized he was enjoying my pain. I made a conscious choice to not live my adult life like that. I don't like chaos, drama.

But, I also think there is true goodness, and kindness in the world. Some people are true, kind, loving, supportive, not a manipulative bone in their body. I surround myself with those people, and I try to live my life with kindness.

I don't think hiv makes someone mean. They were mean before hiv.

Christine

Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline Val

  • Member
  • Posts: 938
  • Praxitèles -- Satyre au repos
Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #15 on: April 08, 2007, 04:12:40 PM »
The answers to your questions are right here:

1 - Dachshund

People are just people...scratch the surface of any of us and there we are


2 - BudnDallasTX

Perhaps, the internet emboldens the bullies but it should also embolden those who would not speak up in a crowd


3 - Milker

some people have no clue and think they're funny by saying "jokes" about people


4 - Jeff64

The people you encounter here are no different than those you would meet anywhere else.
I am sorry that you think that mean people are all around you...maybe they are just having a bad day



5 - From adorable Christine

I agree with you. I think some people are mean. Innate meanness. I think evil is real. Some people are evil. They take pleasure from seeing you hurt


If after all these sagacious replies you are still at a loss with the real meaning of the word  "mean", I really don't know what else could enlighten you better!

Val
___
___
P.S. I listed the quotes by numerical order and especially by importance, honesty and subtlety.

Val
___
___
Arthus Bertrand
http://www.yannarthusbertrand.com/yann2/affichage.php?reference=TVDC%20YABFR084&pais=France
Ali Mahdavi
http://asyoudesireme.online.fr/index.htm
Richard de Chazal
http://www.richarddechazal.com/
Daniel Nassoy
http://www.danielnassoy.com/pages/galeries_portraits_2.html
Photography:
The word comes from the Greek words φως phos ("light"), and γραφίς graphis ("stylus", "paintbrush") or γραφή graphê, together meaning "drawing with light" or "representation by means of lines".

Offline Val

  • Member
  • Posts: 938
  • Praxitèles -- Satyre au repos
Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #16 on: April 08, 2007, 05:23:49 PM »
In sum,  a shatteringly powerful poem to top it all.

Little lamb, who made thee?
Dost thou know who made thee?
Gave thee life, and bid thee feed
By the stream and o'er the mead;
Gave thee clothing of delight,
Softest clothing, woolly, bright;
Gave thee such a tender voice,
Making all the vales rejoice?
Little lamb, who made thee?
Dost thou know who made thee?
 


And what shoulder, and what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? and what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears,
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

 


Val
___
___
Arthus Bertrand
http://www.yannarthusbertrand.com/yann2/affichage.php?reference=TVDC%20YABFR084&pais=France
Ali Mahdavi
http://asyoudesireme.online.fr/index.htm
Richard de Chazal
http://www.richarddechazal.com/
Daniel Nassoy
http://www.danielnassoy.com/pages/galeries_portraits_2.html
Photography:
The word comes from the Greek words φως phos ("light"), and γραφίς graphis ("stylus", "paintbrush") or γραφή graphê, together meaning "drawing with light" or "representation by means of lines".

Offline ndrew

  • Member
  • Posts: 695
  • ....-.-.-.-.-.....
Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #17 on: April 08, 2007, 07:20:01 PM »
SDgirl,

I am sorry, I did go off on my own tangent with my earlier post in yer thread. 

People can be mean, sometimes the few jerks do overwhelm the MAJORITY of good folk.  I have experienced this in my teaching.  It's the few bad eggs deal...  and I think others have stated that sometimes tongue-in-cheek humour or jest is misinterpreted (or a little off appropriateness).

I will say though, that EVERYTIME I have posted here when I needed support people came forward with thoughtful words, stories, caring, wisdom and experience.  That is why I love this place and that is why I come back.  Just think of all the people here who have such good spirits and kindness, it really does overshadow the negative, the power struggles and the clashing of personality.

I do applaud your caring for this place.

Bests,
Drew

Offline sweetasmeli

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,052
  • Love what you are...
Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #18 on: April 09, 2007, 12:08:33 PM »
People are mean...

Correct. And stupid. And they suck.

In light of very recent events that I didn't get to voice my opinion on before lock-down, these are some of my current thoughts.

Have to say, not all people of course. :) Many are indeed adorable.

But some? Mean stupid and suck...hmph!

Melia >:(
(who could quite easily punch someone right now)
/\___/\       /\__/\
(=' . '=)    (=' . '=)
(,,,_ ,,,)/   (,,,_ ,,,)/ Cats rule!

The difference between cats and dogs is that dogs come when called, whereas cats take a message and get back to you.

Yeia kai hara (health and happiness) to everyone!

Offline Carolann

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  • Posts: 233
Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #19 on: April 09, 2007, 03:51:59 PM »
As a woman who has been visiting this forum for a while, I have to agree that sometimes people are really mean.

I think you nailed it when you called it bullying.  It fits on the schoolyard, and it fits in the workplace and on the internet.

Many bullies, I have found suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder.  A great website is bpdcentral.com.  People with BPD see others as either all good or all bad.  They react to mild criticism or disapproval with anger that is far out of proprotion to what was done against them.

People with BPD often self-medicate which only furthers their anger and rageful
actions.

My ex husband was a full blown borderline.  He could blow hot and cold with people.  He would love someone quickly and then hate them just as quickly when they did the slightest thing wrong. 

I loved him dearly, but dealing with the bullying was hard.

You don't need to take bullying.

The thing that we should do is call out a bully.  Just this morning I saw people bullying eachother on the forums here.  Actually ganging up on a member with a differing viewpoint.  I just keep thinking "BPD" in action.

When people bully you, confront them directly.  That is what I do, and I am shocked at just how soon these bullys back down.

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #20 on: April 09, 2007, 04:17:50 PM »
Sadly, we have been told not to confront the bullies directly, but to report them to the moderators. True, it's FAR less satisfying, but the alternative is a useless flame war.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline thunter34

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,314
  • His name is Carl.
Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #21 on: April 09, 2007, 04:23:59 PM »
As a woman who has been visiting this forum for a while, I have to agree that sometimes people are really mean.

I think you nailed it when you called it bullying.  It fits on the schoolyard, and it fits in the workplace and on the internet.

Many bullies, I have found suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder.  A great website is bpdcentral.com.  People with BPD see others as either all good or all bad.  They react to mild criticism or disapproval with anger that is far out of proprotion to what was done against them.



Carol,

I TOTALLY agree with you about the bullying and BPD and rage.  Fortunately, I think most of the prime offenders for this site that behave this way just happen to be either banned or Timed Out right now.  Hopefully, calmer minds will prevail.

Hunter
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #22 on: April 09, 2007, 04:25:30 PM »
:::sigh:::


"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline DanielMark

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  • Posts: 1,475
Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #23 on: April 09, 2007, 04:46:06 PM »
When people bully you, confront them directly.  That is what I do, and I am shocked at just how soon these bullys back down.

No shock to me Carolann, once you learn that bullies are basically cowards and their irrational behaviour is designed to mask their fear.

Bullies on the Internet are just absurd and ridiculous. I feel only pity for them.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline jack

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  • Posts: 1,578
  • fomerly the loser known as Jake
Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #24 on: April 09, 2007, 08:07:50 PM »
saw this bumper sticker tonight
There aren't too many mean people
There are just too many sissies.


Offline StrongGuy

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  • Posts: 492
Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #25 on: April 10, 2007, 12:57:34 AM »
I just report it now and/or reach out a hand of support to that person when I see people being swarmed or spoken down to or disrespected.

Not worth wasting your time on negative people and engaging in fights with the few individuals who, in the scheme of life, I couldn't care less about.

Mikey
(who loves SDGirl's blog)
"Get your medical advice from Doctors or medical professionals who you trust and know your history."

"Beware of the fortune teller doom and gloomers who seek to bring you down and are only looking for company, purpose and validation - not your best physical/mental interests."

"You know you all are saying that this is incurable. When the real thing you should be saying is it's not curable at the present time' because as we know, the great strides we've made in medicine." - Elizabeth Edwards

Offline David_CA

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #26 on: April 10, 2007, 07:26:08 PM »
You know, I wasn't even going to reply to this post, 'cause I tend to think that most people are nice... basically good.  Then I read this thread http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=10996.0 and I see meanness.  I don't want to point fingers, as I'd be pointing them at some members who I usually respect.  Perhaps posts of this sort that seem to be meant for specific people should just be PM'ed or emailed.  Hell, I'm glad I didn't reply to that thread... I'd certainly gotten my hand smacked.  So, yeah, there is meanness all around us.  Some of it is caused by shitty situations that breed resentment, frustration, and anger.  Other people are mean because it's just their nature.  Luckily, I see the former (situational) most on these forums.  I'm dealing with a coworker that's turned really mean and hateful at work.  She and I used to be good friends, but something changed (her, according to the others that feel her 'evilness').  It sucks, but there's not much one can do about it except to try and find the good in people.  Fortunately, I still believe there's more good than bad in (most) people.

David 
Black Friday 03-03-2006
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02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
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Offline Strayboy74

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #27 on: April 10, 2007, 07:41:11 PM »
Okay, let's clear up some things...............I'm not a victim, nor am I "having a bad day".

Okay, so, you're a whiner??

just seeking clarification.

:)

-joseph
« Last Edit: April 10, 2007, 07:44:49 PM by Strayboy74 »

Offline MoltenStorm

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #28 on: April 11, 2007, 10:02:58 AM »
Or just making an observation? Just because someone points out something distasteful doesn't automatically make them a "victim" or a "whiner."

"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful nor conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, adaptation in A Walk To Remember

CD4: 555 / 29% / Undetectable - 7 Nov 2006
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Offline ndrew

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #29 on: April 11, 2007, 06:16:40 PM »
They could be the victim of their observation.

Drew

Offline Wolfhound

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #30 on: April 19, 2007, 03:07:48 PM »
There's always going to be people in the world that need to put other people down in order to feel superior. Also, most mean people were treated badly at some time in their lives as one of the other members stated. You have feel a bit sorry for them and just let their toxic aura roll off your back. They just don't know any better, and are probably jealous or intimidated by your prescense. Life is short, focus on the good things, think about good things and decent people gravitate to you and you to them...Mean people are frustrated, bitter, angry and aren't getting much validation in their daily lives.  When dealing with an angry person try a little bit of sympathy and a little bit of love, you'd be surprised at how they respond.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #31 on: April 19, 2007, 05:14:42 PM »
I haven't read SD's blog yet but I think I will give it a look after I post. These are my thoughts...Yes, there is mean people in the world....But does anyone think maybe someone or something may be the reason why someone is being mean. No one is born mean, something happens to make a person that way. Now whether they choose to continue to be that way is up to them. Negativity breeds negativity. I do agree with some of the things others have posted. Personally, I do not put up with someone being mean to me and when they try, I give them a piece of my mind. And usually when you do speak your mind, you end up finding out the reason for the meanness. If a person is content with being mean to others, I am content not to be around them or listen to their rantings but I have alway been the type to try to help the underdog if I can.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
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Offline david25luvit

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #32 on: April 20, 2007, 11:38:04 AM »
Like David I wasn't going to respond to this thread because I suspect we ALL have a little meaness in us.
Just because we don't see the pain and suffering we have inflicted on another....doesn't mean we weren't
being unkind.  Yes there are MEAN people in the world.....and you and I are one of them at times!

There are also a lot of NICE people in the world.....let's talk about them too!
In Memory of
Raymond David McRae III
Nov. 25, 1972- Oct. 15, 2004
I miss him terribly..........

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #33 on: April 22, 2007, 09:22:37 AM »
I work with mean people.  They find ways to make my life miserable to makes theirs seem more contented.  The forums have mean people on there too.  People use personal information that you have shared to turn it around and throw it in your face, just to be mean. 

Mean people scare me.  You just never know how far they will go, what their limits of meanness are. I think in school we called them bully’s, as adults it sounds childish to say the word “bully” and even more to say “he/she’s being mean to me.”

Report mean people at work to your boss. Unless it's your boss that's the meanie

Offline FiercenBed

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #34 on: April 22, 2007, 12:52:57 PM »
iv cn replies on here where i cant believe people sit down at a keyboard and type it out. i usally make a quick reply like "relax", "cant we b civil" or my favorite "jesus christ people"

iv seen post go in2 melt down with no other reason then to fight w/ other members. i really dont understand y it gets like this.

however......i was arguing w/ a friend on the phone <one of the few iv disclosed> over something stupid and he said ur just angry cause u have aids. click.

after thinking about it id have to say hez probably right. i hate to admit when im wrong. this 'thing' seems to bring out the best.....and worst in people and myself.

i stumbled on this site after diagnosis looking for hiv friends. i have no hiv friends and was and still hoping to change that. that hasnt worked out to well on this site. i find myself getting better luck on other sites where i have no business being in.

iv 'reached out to people w/ not much success. it cant b me cause no one hasnt taken the opportunity to get to know me. i try to keep in mind therez another person on the other end of this keyboard. iv got a scene going on now in another post where a member <no names mentioned> stated "mind ur own business". obviously a baiter looking for a fight and I never bite. i was talking to this guy about a medication issue and one of his replies, " may write a new thread, but so many fuckin drama queens and wierdos I really don't feel like being personally attacked again today. ; )".  im starting to feel that way 2.

on the good side iv gotn' a lota good medical info from here. god bless neut! hez made medical suggestions that my doc has actually followed. i feel like i should buy him a plant!

were all dealing w/ so many different issues caused by 1 common problem. hiv. i try to stay on track w/ that thought. dosnt always work cause i get 'mean' or in my words pissed off 2.



Offline mjmel

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #35 on: April 22, 2007, 01:44:26 PM »
Regarding Being Mean or Not: What you give to others comes right back at ya. Sooner or later, it just makes a circle.
xxx,
Mike

Offline RobT

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #36 on: April 22, 2007, 04:01:04 PM »
I H8 PPL!!

Rob


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Offline Life

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #37 on: April 22, 2007, 04:15:20 PM »
no u dont... ;)

Offline thunter34

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #38 on: April 22, 2007, 04:33:28 PM »

iv got a scene going on now in another post where a member <no names mentioned> stated "mind ur own business". obviously a baiter looking for a fight and I never bite. i was talking to this guy about a medication issue and one of his replies, " may write a new thread, but so many fuckin drama queens and wierdos I really don't feel like being personally attacked again today. ; )".  im starting to feel that way 2.



That would be me from the Am I Infected thread from Ineedtoknow.  You might as well have the guts to say me by name since you know I am going to see this.  No, I am not "obviously a baiter looking for a fight".  I am not baiting you now.  You seemed to be baiting me, however, by making the comment "since when did you become a moderator?" when I told an AAI poster that he was not supposed to be posting in a certain other forum (which he wasn't).  My response to your comment was "mind your own business"...a reply I still stand by. 

AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Strayboy74

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #39 on: April 22, 2007, 04:44:30 PM »
I'm mean. LOL

I own it.

I'm also amazingly kind, giving and loving.  Who gives a shit? 

I'm honest, and I don't hide behind pretense and social pleasantries, and I'm happy to identify the white elephant in the living room despite uncomfortability.  Does that make me 'mean'?  I wonder how many of those people bitching and moaning about people being 'mean' can say that? 

I am inclined to believe that people so willing to label others with a personality trait and pigeon hole them based on one experience are not capable of full spiritual growth.  In fact, I find that this thread is a bunch of devisive bullshit and hipocrisy propaganda intended to do nothing more than split the playground into the 'bad' people and the 'good' people. 

Shame on everyone who has participated.  How juvenile.

-joseph

(who knows that there is also GOODNESS in EVERYONE - somewhere)
« Last Edit: April 22, 2007, 07:31:30 PM by Strayboy74 »

Offline FiercenBed

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #40 on: April 22, 2007, 07:11:46 PM »
i rest my case....lol

Offline Joe K

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #41 on: April 22, 2007, 07:28:03 PM »
With the depth of the English language, you would think that people could distinguish between mean and unkind or rude behavior.  I will never believe that people suck, because it is untrue.  In these forums alone I have many friends who do not have a mean bone in their body.  Does that mean that they can never be unkind or rude, of course not, but their actions are never born from malice.

I believe we do ourselves a great disservice when we talk in generalities.  You cannot group every action or comment into a generality like "people are mean" because where do you go from there? Since you have already decreed that people are mean, that indicates that you believe all people are mean and if so, why do you think any of us would care how you felt, if we were all so mean???

Offline tigger2376

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #42 on: April 22, 2007, 07:46:59 PM »
We all have the capacity to be mean. I freely admit to being a complete bitch sometimes, but I'd like to think that I'm also sensitive when neccessary. Its human nature to disagree with people sometimes, god we'd be boring otherwise, but as others have said, theres this amazing language we have, why waste time on puerile and shallow insults..at least be inventive! I've been away for a couple of weeks, so didn't see any of the 'stuff' thats been happening..I'm glad because I wouldn't have been able to resist wading in...
We are put down and vilified by so many people because of a virus, why let the arseholes win by infighting? Don't get me wrong, theres been some really great frank exchanges of views here, and the last thing I'd want to see is the forums becoming 'fluffy wuffy bunny wunny' but don't let the 'meaness' in some people overshadow the fact that there is also a great capacity for kindness and 'good' within all of us..some just hide it better than others!
I know i'm going to enjoy the party in the afterlife, but do you all mind that I'm going to be VERY late!!!

Offline Life

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #43 on: April 22, 2007, 09:07:45 PM »
But, but but...



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Offline DanielMark

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Re: People are Mean.............
« Reply #44 on: April 23, 2007, 03:49:08 AM »
Nasty people are a waste of my time. I just yawn, ignore them, and move onto more thoughtful folk.
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