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Author Topic: I've been bad  (Read 39817 times)

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Offline milker

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  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #100 on: April 06, 2007, 02:46:46 PM »
On the topic of this discussion, I want to thank Milker for having the fortitude to bring this topic to the fore. My son and I just had a very illuminating conversation stemming from this very topic. I'll explain more if anyone wishes.

Lisa, I think this topic is in the mind of many, whether or not they have actually done it. If my post has generated a good conversation about this with your son and has made other people think and reflect more about how they handle those situations and how to avoid them, then my real story will have served. I'm not proud of what I did, but seeing the responses and the PMs I got, I'm proud that I posted it.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Ihavehope

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  • Posts: 1,366
  • Yes, I'm a cry baby, AND WHAT?
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #101 on: April 06, 2007, 04:11:57 PM »
milker

I am sorry hon, you know I care about you, but either this thread is a cry for help or you are desperately seeking attention.

AL

(who rarely sees a thread in the Living with HIV forum go beyond 2 pages)
Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

Offline milker

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #102 on: April 06, 2007, 04:14:12 PM »
milker

I am sorry hon, you know I care about you, but either this thread is a cry for help or you are desperately seeking attention.

AL

(who rarely sees a thread in the Living with HIV forum go beyond 2 pages)
I do need attention like everyone else in here but that thread was not for that purpose at all.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Lisa

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  • Formerly known as sweetieweasel/Joined Nov. 2004
    • http://www.myspace.com/lisanowak58
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #103 on: April 06, 2007, 04:15:04 PM »
To tell you the truth, I'll go you one further. Despite thinking that I had informed them of all of the truths of this disease, I found that during our conversation, that he was still unclear about blow jobs and the risk thereof(not).
We delved into several personal asides, and had a frank conversation about HPV. I fessed up to what happens to me when I have an outbreak, and he thinks that maybe he has it too.
We decided that it would be a good start to have his first testing.
We've had this discussion before, and he disclosed his reticence about going(by himself), and I offered to go with him for moral support(but not in 'mommy' capacity).
Kudos to you friend. Thanks.
No Fear  No Shame  No Stigma
Happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

Offline Strayboy74

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  • tastes like chicken
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #104 on: April 06, 2007, 04:16:31 PM »
milker

I am sorry hon, you know I care about you, but either this thread is a cry for help or you are desperately seeking attention.

AL

(who rarely sees a thread in the Living with HIV forum go beyond 2 pages)

AL

What a terrible thing to say.  Perhaps you should share your inventories of others in private messages, rather than posting them publicly.  I ask myself, with your posting, just what you were trying to accomplish (as every writing has a motive).   And all I can find is pettiness.

BTW, the motive of this writing is to let you know how inappropriately rude your posting was - in case you couldn't figure it out.

-joseph
« Last Edit: April 06, 2007, 04:19:00 PM by Strayboy74 »

Offline Ihavehope

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  • Posts: 1,366
  • Yes, I'm a cry baby, AND WHAT?
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #105 on: April 06, 2007, 04:21:55 PM »
AL

What a terrible thing to say.  Perhaps you should share your inventories of others in private messages, rather than posting them publicly.  I ask myself, with your posting, just what you were trying to accomplish (as every writing has a motive).   And all I can find is pettiness.

BTW, the motive of this writing is to let you know how inappropriately rude your posting was - in case you couldn't figure it out.

-joseph

I just find it hard to believe that someone is having orgies after diagnosed with HIV and 2 months later admits to having 20 dicks inside his mouth and is later concerned about his actions.

I can understand life goes on, but 20 dicks is an excessive amount, either you don't care anymore about yourself or you are a sex addict. I don't get it. People here write about thinking of death on a daily basis, their numbers going down, people ending up in the hospital and this thread gets more attention than those which I find more critical and where we all need to cooperate and help our fellow members.
« Last Edit: April 06, 2007, 04:23:40 PM by Ihavehope »
Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

Offline milker

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #106 on: April 06, 2007, 04:26:45 PM »
I just find it hard to believe that someone is having orgies after diagnosed with HIV and 2 months later admits to having 20 dicks inside his mouth and is later concerned about his actions.

The reality of life.

I can understand life goes on, but 20 dicks is an excessive amount,
Not in a sex club.

either you don't care anymore about yourself or you are a sex addict.
Sex addict yes. Do I care about myself? I don't know, maybe this is part of what led to my actions? No clue yet, and this is why I think this thread may help figuring that out by asking other people how they delt with this.

I don't get it. People here write about thinking of death on a daily basis, their numbers going down, people ending up in the hospital and this thread gets more attention than those which I find more critical and where we all need to cooperate and helped our fellow members.
Maybe because it's something that a lot of people can relate to, but never posted about it.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Strayboy74

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  • Posts: 1,054
  • tastes like chicken
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #107 on: April 06, 2007, 04:26:59 PM »
...gets more attention than those which I find more critical...


Thank you for your moral majority assessment.   You can always feel free to ignore this thread, rather than to be so openly hostile to it's generator.

-joseph

« Last Edit: April 06, 2007, 04:29:17 PM by Strayboy74 »

Offline Ihavehope

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  • Posts: 1,366
  • Yes, I'm a cry baby, AND WHAT?
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #108 on: April 06, 2007, 04:33:33 PM »

Thank you for your moral majority assessment.   You can always feel free to ignore this thread, rather than to be so openly hostile to it's generator.

-joseph



Strayboy, do you have something against me. Because I don't have anything against you, on the contrary, when you wrote about your tush problem I was there to help you because that is a reality of life, people get tushy problems..

Milker just admited:

Sex addict yes. Do I care about myself? I don't know, maybe this is part of what led to my actions? No clue yet, and this is why I think this thread may help figuring that out by asking other people how they delt with this.

So it is a cry for help and he is a sex addict.

So Strayboy please don't address me in public if you have an issue with me, that is what PM's are for. And next time you have a question about your butt hurting because you got banged, I will be wise to know not to help you.

Al

(who cares about Milky and needed to find out what was behind this thread)
Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

Offline water duck

  • Member
  • Posts: 397
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #109 on: April 06, 2007, 04:33:56 PM »
" a cry for help "
when you have a dick in your mouth, you don't cry for help, it is another kind of sound you make !!

"desperately seeking attention "
when you have a dick up your's truthly, the kind of attention you want is that it go deeper and harder!!

this site here is like a diamond , in order for it to shine, it has to have a number of cuts, find one where you can post those nice pictures of yours !!

Offline Strayboy74

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  • Posts: 1,054
  • tastes like chicken
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #110 on: April 06, 2007, 04:38:47 PM »
Strayboy, do you have something against me. Because I don't have anything against you, on the contrary, when you wrote about your tush problem I was there to help you because that is a reality of life, people get tushy problems..

The truth is, it is the open judgement of people like you who keep such topics in the darkness and perpetuate shame, guilt, and transmission.  Prudish, to say the least. 

-joseph

(edited to express how I truly feel and to remove pleasantries.)
« Last Edit: April 06, 2007, 04:55:25 PM by Strayboy74 »

Offline woodshere

  • Member
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  • ain't no shame in my game
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #111 on: April 06, 2007, 04:43:06 PM »
I always thought an addiction is something that takes control of your life.  If I go out and get shit faced drunk once every so often am I an alcoholic?  If I go to a sex club (disclosure aside for the sake of argument) it is with the intent of having sex and alot of it.  Am I an addict if I do it just on a rare occasion?  Is it having 20 dicks in your mouth on one night or constantly having sex with 1 person.  I don't think it is the amount, but what it is doing to your life.  Only you can decide that.

Woods
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline milker

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #112 on: April 06, 2007, 04:44:35 PM »
" a cry for help "
when you have a dick in your mouth, you don't cry for help, it is another kind of sound you make !!

"desperately seeking attention "
when you have a dick up your's truthly, the kind of attention you want is that it go deeper and harder!!

lol
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #113 on: April 06, 2007, 04:45:45 PM »
Sex addiction consumed my life at one point.  I get where milker is coming from.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #114 on: April 06, 2007, 04:57:43 PM »
Ihavehope,

Now that you have digested and come to the conclusion that Milker is a sex addict, and that he is crying out for help, and now that you have disrupted this thread to the usual amount that you find acceptable; please share with us your wise clinical conclusions that actually might help someone who is really a sex addict, or crying out for help. 

You see, Joseph really has a point with your penchant for interrogation, and one of your habits here is to do so with little or no thought about a really constructive answer.  Curiosity is not a sin and should be encouraged, but speaking without any point or conclusion is often times not constructive or in any way helpful at all.  Judging people here is also completely counterproductive and you need to stop now.  Your age is definately showing.

I now await your conclusions and your constructive and supportive answers to a question about a particular situation that more than one of us have found ourselves in at one time or another. 

Love,
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline Ihavehope

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,366
  • Yes, I'm a cry baby, AND WHAT?
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #115 on: April 06, 2007, 05:04:50 PM »
Mof,

please do not hijack Milker's thread. If you want to ask me a question about my beliefs and judge me then please use the PM.. I am surprised a young person like myself need to remind a mature person like yourself that it is not nice to hijack a thread.

Al  :-*

(who still wonders about Moffie's intentions)
« Last Edit: April 06, 2007, 05:07:13 PM by Ihavehope »
Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #116 on: April 06, 2007, 05:08:55 PM »
Al,

This is a discussion forum, and you entered the discussion and I responed in like kind.

I am awaiting your clinical conclusions.....................................
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline Strayboy74

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,054
  • tastes like chicken
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #117 on: April 06, 2007, 05:09:00 PM »
... I will be wise to know not to help you.

Yours is help I could certainly do without.

-joseph

Offline sdcabincrew74

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #118 on: April 06, 2007, 05:10:55 PM »
Ok, here is my take.  And, realize that I love bareback sex, it is all I participate in, and I am upfront about it.  I also enjoy sex clubs, bathhouse and online hook ups.  I am sorry if this offends the the "high holly, perfect, judegemental, almighty purtians" on this forum but hey it is the TRUTH.  

If a dude takes your dick up his ass raw, most likely he is poz or does not care.  Anytime I have had that happen I tell the dude that I am poz and I will cum in him, each time the answer has been, "cool", "ok", "go for it", "so am I".  So that conversation is non issue.  Try it ..... plus it is a turn on to me to know a dude will take my cum in his ass ..... you are upfront, you communicated and they accepted the risk.  Personally I do not ask if they are poz or neg but I make them aware that by doing this, I could poz them.

If you are on the floor sucking cock, and you have no open sores in your mouth, the risk to them is so little that frankly, I do not disclose.  You are suckin their dick, incredibly, HIGHLY unlikely that you will do them anyharm, so seriously .... have fun.  Again I know the puritans on this sight may bash me for this but has there EVER been a case of a poz dude sucking a neg dude and making him poz????  Show me proof!  Again, have fun, enjoy it.

Now, if a top sticks his raw cock up you, I just say, "I am poz and you can cum in me if you want" .... this works they either pull out and fill me up.  The ones that pull out usually sorry, I cannot take that risk and I say, "I understand, no worries, be careful and have fun"  Again, not always fun to say "I am poz" but you need to tell them of the risk the are taking.

It will get easier .... believe me.  
The difference between an overnight and a layover is luck!

Offline Tim Horn

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #119 on: April 06, 2007, 05:12:01 PM »
No, Al, it was YOU who hijacked Milker's thread with your judgmental nonsense and your half-baked "diagnosis" of sex addiction.  And you can cut out the totally passive-aggressive jabs.

Not a warning, per se, but you're on the cusp of one.

Tim Horn

Offline ACinKC

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  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #120 on: April 06, 2007, 05:13:01 PM »
Pretty good advice sdcab.  And good ways to put things.  This is how things are SUPPOSED to work.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline woodshere

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,477
  • ain't no shame in my game
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #121 on: April 06, 2007, 05:14:28 PM »
Ok, here is my take.  And, realize that I love bareback sex, it is all I participate in, and I am upfront about it.  I also enjoy sex clubs, bathhouse and online hook ups.  I am sorry if this offends the the "high holly, perfect, judegemental, almighty purtians" on this forum but hey it is the TRUTH.  

If a dude takes your dick up his ass raw, most likely he is poz or does not care.  Anytime I have had that happen I tell the dude that I am poz and I will cum in him, each time the answer has been, "cool", "ok", "go for it", "so am I".  So that conversation is non issue.  Try it ..... plus it is a turn on to me to know a dude will take my cum in his ass ..... you are upfront, you communicated and they accepted the risk.  Personally I do not ask if they are poz or neg but I make them aware that by doing this, I could poz them.

If you are on the floor sucking cock, and you have no open sores in your mouth, the risk to them is so little that frankly, I do not disclose.  You are suckin their dick, incredibly, HIGHLY unlikely that you will do them anyharm, so seriously .... have fun.  Again I know the puritans on this sight may bash me for this but has there EVER been a case of a poz dude sucking a neg dude and making him poz????  Show me proof!  Again, have fun, enjoy it.

Now, if a top sticks his raw cock up you, I just say, "I am poz and you can cum in me if you want" .... this works they either pull out and fill me up.  The ones that pull out usually sorry, I cannot take that risk and I say, "I understand, no worries, be careful and have fun"  Again, not always fun to say "I am poz" but you need to tell them of the risk the are taking.

It will get easier .... believe me.  

Think that covers this subject very well.  Put a fork in it, cause it's done.

Woods
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline sdcabincrew74

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    • My Manhunt account
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #122 on: April 06, 2007, 05:15:31 PM »
ATTN:  Ihavehope - who the he11 are you to make the decision that milker is a sex addict?  What people choose to do is their own choice .... this whole thread was about "how to disclose" not make milker feel guilty about having a night of slutty fun.  Get off his fuckin case!!!

And, by the way, addiction is something that consumes your life to the point of destroying parts of your life.  If he was out doing it everyday and losing friends, family and jobs because of it, then he has a problem.  If it happens once a month or so, then well, in my opinion he is NORMAL!

Lets put it this way, I enjoy going out and gettin toasted once a month or so, I am NOT an alcoholic.  I enjoy going out to a bath or sexclub and have aLOT of wild and kinky sex one night every month or two; I am not a sex addict.  And, for the record, if you think him suckin 20 dicks in a night is bad, I would love to see the look on your face when i tell you I have had 26 guys cum in my ass in a four hour period in a sling in sex club once ..... and, fuck I am damn proud because each knew I was poz!!!!  Again, I am not a sex addict because I am not doing that or thinking about it on a daily basis.

Lastly, I am addicted to cigarettes.  I think about smoking when I can not.  I find way to get my smoke.  I do it every day and am a total addict!

So, it seems that I KNOW what addiction is and YOU do not!
« Last Edit: April 06, 2007, 06:12:06 PM by sdcabincrew74 »
The difference between an overnight and a layover is luck!

Offline water duck

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  • Posts: 397
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #123 on: April 06, 2007, 05:20:06 PM »
Ihavehope

YOU ARE BEING CONDESCENDING WITH REGARDS TO Tim (Moffie)

BTW i received your PM , to your question of "do i know you ? "
NO YOU don't and i don't wish to have that privilege!!
AND I CERTAINLY DO NOT NEED YOU TO POST A FACE PIC OF MINE IN THE OFF TOPIC EITHER !!

Ihavehope, well chosen , well , ihavenews FOR you, i did not arrived here yesterday !!

Offline Moffie65

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #124 on: April 06, 2007, 05:24:37 PM »
Water duck,

It is so nice to see you return back to discussion.  I don't want to derail this, but just wanted to say glad to see you again!

Love,
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline milker

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  • Protected phone sex
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #125 on: April 06, 2007, 05:25:42 PM »
sdcabincrew, this was a VERY VERY HELPFUL POST, because it sounded very real life to me, and makes me think that being in those clubs AND making sure that I'm not posing a risk to a negative person IS possible. Your post looks like everything can be said in a very natural and simple manner, not like having to have HIV POZ written on my forehead, on my dick and on my ass, and that from your experience people are cool about it, whether this stops or continues the action, it's all fine you still had fun.

Thank you,

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Ihavehope

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #126 on: April 06, 2007, 05:26:33 PM »
Water Duckie

please do not hijack Milker's thread. If you want to ask me a question about my beliefs and judge me then please use the PM.. I am surprised a young person like myself need to remind a mature person like yourself that it is not nice to hijack a thread.

Al  

Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

Offline Moffie65

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #127 on: April 06, 2007, 05:28:16 PM »
sdcabin,

I can sure tell you are a "cabin crew", your post was sucinct, and well delivered, and like Woods, I agree you just about covered it all.

Thanks,

Love,

(Al, please go to your room!)
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline Tim Horn

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #128 on: April 06, 2007, 05:28:53 PM »
Ihavehope...

Okay, now you've got your warning.  Just one more and I'll have you on a Time Out before this "Good Friday" is over and done with.

Tim Horn

Offline milker

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #129 on: April 06, 2007, 05:29:42 PM »
Al,

I know you've been shocked by this thread and angry about me. It seems that you don't understand the situation or do not want to listen to it today. I know you want to help, but you're doing more bad for yourself right now. Let it go, babe.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline sdcabincrew74

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #130 on: April 06, 2007, 05:36:40 PM »
sdcabincrew, this was a VERY VERY HELPFUL POST, because it sounded very real life to me, and makes me think that being in those clubs AND making sure that I'm not posing a risk to a negative person IS possible. Your post looks like everything can be said in a very natural and simple manner, not like having to have HIV POZ written on my forehead, on my dick and on my ass, and that from your experience people are cool about it, whether this stops or continues the action, it's all fine you still had fun.

Thank you,

Milker.

No problem.  To me, nothing hotter than swappin cum with a dude.  If they are up for it, most likely it is a non issue for them.  The worst situations I have been in is when top sticks his cock in me in a dark room and then I just let him know.  A simple "you can cum in me, I am poz" works perfectly.  The majority of the time they continue and finish the deed, a few times, they have pulled out and apologized or said "thanks for telling me" and they move on.  No judgement has ever occurred and there was NEVER any hard feelings.  All people know the risks of HIV and STD's and lets face it if you are in a sexclub or bathhouse .... well, you are accepting those risks if you are running around stickin your raw cock up dudes ass's or taking raw cock up your ass.

Here is my favorite, at a bath house, the dude asks for a condom, I say "sorry, do not have them and my lube is oil based" they say, "are you clean?"  I always answer like this "of course I am clean, I hate shitty fucks, but I am poz"  That gets a laugh out them and then we either continue or they say they cannot .... the "shitty fuck" part adds humor and there is no hard feelings .....

Granted I have lost a few really great fucks by being honest but the guilt afterward would just be such a downer it would not be worth it.  By the way, where were you, I need to check that place out!  Have a great holiday weekend hon, again, it does get easier and being POZ is not the stigma that it once was. 
« Last Edit: April 06, 2007, 06:07:38 PM by sdcabincrew74 »
The difference between an overnight and a layover is luck!

Offline sdcabincrew74

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #131 on: April 06, 2007, 05:39:21 PM »
sdcabin,

I can sure tell you are a "cabin crew", your post was sucinct, and well delivered, and like Woods, I agree you just about covered it all.

Thanks,

Love,

(Al, please go to your room!)

Thanks Tim, I wish I could write as well as you.  yeap I am a flight attendant, quick and to the point but always with a smile.  I make no apologies for who I am or what I do or have done.  But I do apologize all the time for things my airline constantly screws up, LOL.  Blunt, honest and to the point is usually best in all situations!  I always enjoy your posts, even the darker ones, because they are certainly a reality check and ... nevermind, not going to hijack and get things all worked up over your previous posts.  Just know that I do enjoy them.....I hope the easter bunny leaves you something nice  :)
« Last Edit: April 06, 2007, 05:44:19 PM by sdcabincrew74 »
The difference between an overnight and a layover is luck!

Offline Ihavehope

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #132 on: April 06, 2007, 05:41:57 PM »
sdcabincrew, this was a VERY VERY HELPFUL POST, because it sounded very real life to me, and makes me think that being in those clubs AND making sure that I'm not posing a risk to a negative person IS possible. Your post looks like everything can be said in a very natural and simple manner, not like having to have HIV POZ written on my forehead, on my dick and on my ass, and that from your experience people are cool about it, whether this stops or continues the action, it's all fine you still had fun.

Thank you,

Milker.

Oh Milky

Girl, you need to start valuing yourself and take precautions of yourself as well as others. Sex addiction is a real disease and you should talk to a specialist of this matter because it can lead to serious consequences. And if you ever get the urge to have lots of sex and get drunk. U can call me, this way you are out of danger.  ;)

Al

(who is still here)
Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

Offline Moffie65

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #133 on: April 06, 2007, 05:46:26 PM »
Oh the impetuousness of youth....   I really miss it, but I also was a difficult "learn" and usually pushed the envelope to the breakage point.

Love,
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline sdcabincrew74

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #134 on: April 06, 2007, 05:47:01 PM »
Oh Milky

Girl, you need to start valuing yourself and take precautions of yourself as well as others. Sex addiction is a real disease and you should talk to a specialist of this matter because it can lead to serious consequences. And if you ever get the urge to have lots of sex and get drunk. U can call me, this way you are out of danger.  ;)

Al

(who is still here)

Al,

Again, who the hell are you to pass this judgement.  You do NOT have the right to make these sorts of judgements.  Lay off, he asked a question that most all attractive gay men who are poz are going to have to deal with.  Let it go dude!!!!  Or better yet get back to sending your donations to the jerry fallwell!  And, those that live in glass houses should NOT throw stones!!!!

SD
The difference between an overnight and a layover is luck!

Offline milker

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #135 on: April 06, 2007, 06:02:38 PM »
Oh Milky

Girl, you need to start valuing yourself and take precautions of yourself as well as others. Sex addiction is a real disease and you should talk to a specialist of this matter because it can lead to serious consequences. And if you ever get the urge to have lots of sex and get drunk. U can call me, this way you are out of danger.  ;)

Al

(who is still here)

I said yes I'm a sex addict but reading the definition of sex addiction, it's not me: "an overwhelming need for sex and are so intensely preoccupied with this need that it interferes with your job and your relationships. [...] You may spend inordinate amounts of time in sexually related activities and neglect important aspects of your day-to-day life in social, occupational and recreational areas. You may find yourself failing repeatedly at attempts to reduce or control your sexual activities or desires."

I think I meant i'm a sex addict like i'm a mashed potatos addict, I crave it and will drive 2 hours for it if need be, but it has not impaired my work, my relationships or my social life, and I do not feel the need to reduce or control my sexual activities. I only had sex twice in the last month (not including wednesday's story) and last time I was in a sex club was 2 years ago. Before being diagnosed HIV+ I had sex maybe twice a week, with pauses of about two weeks to a month.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Tim Horn

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #136 on: April 06, 2007, 06:05:00 PM »
Ihavehope/Al --

You're account is now officially on ice for a week.  And don't even think about creating another account to get around this Time Out; a permanent ban will be automatic.

Tim Horn


Offline sdcabincrew74

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #137 on: April 06, 2007, 06:06:16 PM »
I said yes I'm a sex addict but reading the definition of sex addiction, it's not me: "an overwhelming need for sex and are so intensely preoccupied with this need that it interferes with your job and your relationships. [...] You may spend inordinate amounts of time in sexually related activities and neglect important aspects of your day-to-day life in social, occupational and recreational areas. You may find yourself failing repeatedly at attempts to reduce or control your sexual activities or desires."

I think I meant i'm a sex addict like i'm a mashed potatos addict, I crave it and will drive 2 hours for it if need be, but it has not impaired my work, my relationships or my social life, and I do not feel the need to reduce or control my sexual activities. I only had sex twice in the last month (not including wednesday's story) and last time I was in a sex club was 2 years ago. Before being diagnosed HIV+ I had sex maybe twice a week, with pauses of about two weeks to a month.

Milker.

Milker do not defend yourself to him.  NO you are not an addict, when it comes to sex.  Do not apologize and do not explain yourself, there is no need. 

SD
The difference between an overnight and a layover is luck!

Offline Strayboy74

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #138 on: April 06, 2007, 06:06:52 PM »
I said yes I'm a sex addict but reading the definition of sex addiction, it's not me: "an overwhelming need for sex and are so intensely preoccupied with this need that it interferes with your job and your relationships. [...] You may spend inordinate amounts of time in sexually related activities and neglect important aspects of your day-to-day life in social, occupational and recreational areas. You may find yourself failing repeatedly at attempts to reduce or control your sexual activities or desires."

I think I meant i'm a sex addict like i'm a mashed potatos addict, I crave it and will drive 2 hours for it if need be, but it has not impaired my work, my relationships or my social life, and I do not feel the need to reduce or control my sexual activities. I only had sex twice in the last month (not including wednesday's story) and last time I was in a sex club was 2 years ago. Before being diagnosed HIV+ I had sex maybe twice a week, with pauses of about two weeks to a month.

Milker.

Sounds like you meet the definition of "Sex Aficionado"  - which I just made up, and it's a good thing to be. :)

I used to drive 6 hours for sex when I lived in the Midwest... of course, I was 16 then, and stupid. :)

-joseph

Offline DingoBoi

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #139 on: April 06, 2007, 06:07:31 PM »
May I remind those that this topic is not about sex addiction or lack thereof.

The topic has nothing to do with whether it is 1 or 20 or 100.

And I don't recall him asking or even indicating any desire to change, but how to deal with the situation when it presents itself.

/cracks whip.

Back to the topic bois and girls.

Offline Kellyk

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #140 on: April 06, 2007, 06:09:17 PM »


.
« Last Edit: April 06, 2007, 06:10:56 PM by Kellyk »

Offline Moffie65

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #141 on: April 06, 2007, 06:10:35 PM »
Milker,

Also, it is rare that an actual addict would be able to create this thread, or be able to sustain actual discussion about it.  I sincerely believe that you are us, we are you and there is little or no reason to believe you are addicted to sex.  That is a bird of a totally different color.

I just find this discussion and the pople that have contributed to it constructively very enlightening.  All this time, I thought I was the only one here, but this thread certainly tells me that this is not the case at all.

Disclosure does tend to set you free, so we all learned that today.

Love,
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline ACinKC

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #142 on: April 06, 2007, 06:12:16 PM »
I can tell you as a former sex addict I was doing it EVERY DAY.  It was interfering with EVERYTHING i did.  I lied to everyone about it and would protect my addiction at every possible turn.  If not for getting narced out by one of my "regulars" at one of the Bookstores I would have done a great deal more damage to several more people.

So I would say you are far from an addict.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Strayboy74

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #143 on: April 06, 2007, 06:13:14 PM »
6 hrs pheww.. ok. I don't feel so bad for driving 5 hours R/T lol.  Looking back I can't believe I did that.



LOL  from Ft. Madison, Iowa, to Chicago Illinois, baby!   Just to hang out for a few hours and have wild, crazy, unprotected sex with so many strangers, whom I never asked for status.  Yep, young and stupid... Not once did I ask.  Amazing, it was, that I remained negative until the age of 30.

The impetuousness of youth, indeed.

-joseph
« Last Edit: April 06, 2007, 06:33:30 PM by Strayboy74 »

Offline water duck

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #144 on: April 06, 2007, 06:32:06 PM »
Dear Milker,

What hits me when i re-read #125 is the guilt factor that is present there.
From a social context, guilt is negative and constrictive, it really prevent us from moving forward !!
Therefore, you had found SD's posts refreshing !! Points to bear in mind from his posts are :

You don't need to defend or explain yourself !!
Those that uses bath houses or sex club or whatever, know what they are in for !!

Let your new motto to your dick be : STAY hard long time, i want to conquer the world  ;) ;)

Be well be happy !!

Offline manhattanman

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #145 on: April 06, 2007, 06:44:45 PM »
What's done is done, you can't go back and change it, just hope you didn't infect ( or re-infect) the person you topped without a condom, and avoid such situations in the future and move on.
The "caveat emptor" approach advocated by some is completely wrong...and as a segue... the type of thinking that got many of us here in the first place ( I'm not one to blame the "victim" as it were). Further, this caveat emptor attitude is exactly the type of attituded that has resulted in the felony laws in many states regarding non-disclosure of  hiv status, California being one.
So, put condoms in your wallet and hook up one on one with disclosure.
HIV changes your life in many ways, if this is the only way it changes your life you should consider yourself fortunate.

Offline red_Dragon888

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #146 on: April 06, 2007, 06:48:02 PM »
This is why HIV will always be around with and because of drugs, alcohol and sex  addiction. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

“Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything o

Offline DingoBoi

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #147 on: April 06, 2007, 06:49:54 PM »
interesting theory... but hardly explains africa my dear.

Offline red_Dragon888

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #148 on: April 06, 2007, 06:50:56 PM »
LOL  from Ft. Madison, Iowa, to Chicago Illinois, baby!   Just to hang out for a few hours and have wild, crazy, unprotected sex with so many strangers, whom I never asked for status.  Yep, young and stupid... Not once did I ask.  Amazing, it was, that I remained negative until the age of 30.

The impetuousness of youth, indeed.

-joseph

You are not saying that this kind of action is right are you? 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

“Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything o

Offline red_Dragon888

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #149 on: April 06, 2007, 06:52:07 PM »
interesting theory... but hardly explains africa my dear.

Yes it does.  Plenty of unprotected sex there.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

“Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything o

 


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