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Author Topic: I've been bad  (Read 36602 times)

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Offline thunter34

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  • His name is Carl.
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #50 on: April 05, 2007, 11:50:03 PM »
all you have to say is "I am HIV positive." 

With all due respect, that is right up there with "Just Say No" as a complete solution to the drug issue.  There are all kinds of factors involved...emotional, psychological, perhaps chemical.  I think that's a somewhat simplistic answer for a complex problem.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline milker

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #51 on: April 05, 2007, 11:52:26 PM »
Maybe you could get that biohazard tattoo and when you go to a sex club just stay in the sections with adequate light so the tattoo is visible. Avoid the fully dark sections. I know it's not the same as direct vocal disclosure  :-\

And avoid backrooms completely. Because they're fully dark

It's a 2 hours drive from LA where this all happened, and I had enough time to think about it.. Including "HIV POZ on my dick and on my ass" LOL seriously

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline red_Dragon888

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #52 on: April 05, 2007, 11:52:49 PM »
I know what you are saying but that is what i say if a guy want to have sex bb.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

“Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything o

Offline koi1

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #53 on: April 05, 2007, 11:53:30 PM »
Milker

It seems that alchohol was also clouding your judgement. Could you just insist on protection? Otherwise is it worth it? Remember that there are many more diseases that will kill you faster in combination with HIV. I really hope you don't want that. I know you have a conscience. I think you know the answer. Just say it. You can play responsibly. You know you can.

rob
diagnosed on 11/20/06 viral load 23,000  cd4 97    8%
01/04/07 six weeks after diagnosis vl 53,000 cd4 cd4 70    6%
Began sustiva truvada 01/04/07
newest labs  drawn on 01/15/07  vl 1,100    cd4 119    7%
Drawn 02/10/07
cd4=160 viral load= 131 percentage= 8%
New labs 3/10/07 (two months on sustiva truvada
cd4 count 292  percentage 14 viral load undetectable

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #54 on: April 05, 2007, 11:54:35 PM »
You know how guys say "what are you into?" You say "I like a little of everything, but you should know I'm positive. How about you?" or something to that effect.

In a group setting you play safe.

Offline red_Dragon888

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #55 on: April 05, 2007, 11:57:03 PM »
either way you did wrong, and you have to think of telling that guy that you are HIV.  And what are the laws of having knowingly have unprotected sex when you know you are HIV positive?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

“Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything o

Offline koi1

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #56 on: April 05, 2007, 11:59:21 PM »
Yes,

It is ultimately going to be a choice between self gratification social responsibility. Remember it is not only HIV that is being passed on.  If for selfish reasons alone protect yourself and others.

diagnosed on 11/20/06 viral load 23,000  cd4 97    8%
01/04/07 six weeks after diagnosis vl 53,000 cd4 cd4 70    6%
Began sustiva truvada 01/04/07
newest labs  drawn on 01/15/07  vl 1,100    cd4 119    7%
Drawn 02/10/07
cd4=160 viral load= 131 percentage= 8%
New labs 3/10/07 (two months on sustiva truvada
cd4 count 292  percentage 14 viral load undetectable

Offline thunter34

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  • His name is Carl.
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #57 on: April 06, 2007, 12:00:33 AM »
Maybe sex clubs should start offering glow in the dark "+" stamps for people who request them like they do for the under 21 crowds at some bars.  Might sound silly to some of you, but I'd probably get stamped if it was offered at such a place.  That way, I'd be able to fumble around and sero-sort in the dark.  Just a spur of the moment thought.

And GSO offers another good suggestion, though frequently there isn't even that much discussion- people just dive in the mix.

PS-  Big kudos for Henry.  Another Star Post, in my opinion.  And good suggestion, allo.
« Last Edit: April 06, 2007, 12:03:35 AM by thunter34 »
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #58 on: April 06, 2007, 12:00:57 AM »
You know how guys say "what are you into?" You say "I like a little of everything, but you should know I'm positive. How about you?" or something to that effect.

In a group setting you play safe.

Oh that just gave an idea. You can turn the tables and individually ask "ARE YOU POZ?" The answers might surprise you!

Offline edfu

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"No one will ever be free so long as there are pestilences."--Albert Camus, "The Plague"

"Mankind can never be free until the last brick in the last church falls on the head of the last priest."--Voltaire

Offline milker

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #60 on: April 06, 2007, 12:03:41 AM »
all you have to say is "I am HIV positive." 

So there are 50 guys in a black room and you say "I'm hiv positive who wants to fuck me" ?

I can't believe you guys do this. May be you don't do backrooms. Maybe I'm the only slut in this world.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #61 on: April 06, 2007, 12:06:15 AM »
hey, I resent that! I have been a TOTAL slut without doing backrooms. :)

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline milker

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #62 on: April 06, 2007, 12:06:26 AM »
Milker

It seems that alchohol was also clouding your judgement. Could you just insist on protection? Otherwise is it worth it?

I'm in a sex club. I'm fucking horny. I'm drunk. I want dick. There is hard dick all over me.

I guess the answer is "never go to a sex club anymore" because I don't know how to deal with this.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #63 on: April 06, 2007, 12:06:36 AM »
Maybe sex clubs should start offering glow in the dark "+" stamps for people who request them like they do for the under 21 crowds at some bars.  Might sound silly to some of you, but I'd probably get stamped if it was offered at such a place.  That way, I'd be able to fumble around and sero-sort in the dark.  

Stamp 4x, 2x on each shoulder, front and back (I would imagine)  :-\
« Last Edit: April 06, 2007, 12:33:30 AM by allopathicholistic »

Offline milker

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #64 on: April 06, 2007, 12:09:18 AM »
Maybe sex clubs should start offering glow in the dark "+" stamps for people who request them like they do for the under 21 crowds at some bars.  Might sound silly to some of you, but I'd probably get stamped if it was offered at such a place.  That way, I'd be able to fumble around and sero-sort in the dark.  Just a spur of the moment thought.

And GSO offers another good suggestion, though frequently there isn't even that much discussion- people just dive in the mix.

PS-  Big kudos for Henry.  Another Star Post, in my opinion.  And good suggestion, allo.

I think that in my state of mind I thought that 1) being fucked bb was fine, I'm poz already, so can't be worse. 2) fucking this dude bb was fine, he was openly into bb, so I assumed he was poz, I was poz, happy couple, ya know. 3) I totally forgot I was poz when sucking dick.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #65 on: April 06, 2007, 12:11:04 AM »
With all due respect, that is right up there with "Just Say No" as a complete solution to the drug issue.  There are all kinds of factors involved...emotional, psychological, perhaps chemical.  I think that's a somewhat simplistic answer for a complex problem.

I think you're supposed to "Just Say No" to sex clubs if you're Typhoid Mary.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline milker

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #66 on: April 06, 2007, 12:12:32 AM »
What strikes me in the answers is that nobody has said "yeah, been there done that".

I feel really bad now :(

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #67 on: April 06, 2007, 12:15:13 AM »
I don't think I've been in a sex club since seven years ago, when I dropped a bottle of amyl nitrate on top of some Puerto Rican at Steamworks in Old San Juan... we had a good cackle and that silly fag still wanted to fuck me.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #68 on: April 06, 2007, 12:17:50 AM »
What strikes me in the answers is that nobody has said "yeah, been there done that".

I feel really bad now :(

Milker.

Oh please... I just haven't done it since my face sank in from lipo.  Like disclosure is a non-issue when you're like that.

I used to live 4 blocks away from the legendary Bijoux in the East Village in the 90's.  Though I went sometimes I didn't go near as much as one would think -- I mean it would have been so easy to have been there every day it was so close.  I was always afraid I'd run into people I knew, as I was a rather known entity in Manhattan.
« Last Edit: April 06, 2007, 12:19:45 AM by philly267 »
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline thunter34

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #69 on: April 06, 2007, 12:18:08 AM »
Rats!  I totallyjust lost the post I worked on, but I will try to rehash....

With all the talk I have seen online for "BB Parties" and such, I am wondering why some sex clubs haven't offered something like a Poz Only event.  There seems to be an encouragment of sero-sorting lately, so I'm wondering if some sort of plan like that could be implemented to encourage that to happen more in the sex club realm.  Kind of along the same idea of how some groups take safe sex info and condoms into bars these days.  I don't know if that would work well or not.  I'm just trying to think of other ideas that might help address this in a broader sense.  Heck, for all I know, they may already be doing this sort of thing.  Just another idea for a harm reduction approach.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline DingoBoi

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #70 on: April 06, 2007, 12:19:30 AM »
What strikes me in the answers is that nobody has said "yeah, been there done that".

I feel really bad now :(

Milker.


see post #9

Quote
Been there done that.... well, not with 20, but I can dream

Offline edfu

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #71 on: April 06, 2007, 12:20:32 AM »
What strikes me in the answers is that nobody has said "yeah, been there done that".

I feel really bad now :(

Milker.

So you DO have more than a "millimeter" of conscience....I suspected as much, otherwise you wouldn't have come here to tell us your story.  
"No one will ever be free so long as there are pestilences."--Albert Camus, "The Plague"

"Mankind can never be free until the last brick in the last church falls on the head of the last priest."--Voltaire

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #72 on: April 06, 2007, 12:20:53 AM »
I had sex with 10 black men in a public park in 1997... I think someone put up a plaque commemorating the event.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline milker

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #73 on: April 06, 2007, 12:21:24 AM »
Rats!  I totallyjust lost the post I worked on, but I will try to rehash....

With all the talk I have seen online for "BB Parties" and such, I am wondering why some sex clubs haven't offered something like a Poz Only event.  There seems to be an encouragment of sero-sorting lately, so I'm wondering if some sort of plan like that could be implemented to encourage that to happen more in the sex club realm.  Kind of along the same idea of how some groups take safe sex info and condoms into bars these days.  I don't know if that would work well or not.  I'm just trying to think of other ideas that might help address this in a broader sense.  Heck, for all I know, they may already be doing this sort of thing.  Just another idea for a harm reduction approach.

I'm not sure it would be something that the "public" would appreciate, but i personally would like such events.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline thunter34

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  • His name is Carl.
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #74 on: April 06, 2007, 12:21:43 AM »
And milker, I just haven't been in that environment since diagnosis.  Otherwise, I would almost certainly say "been there".

DON'T allow yourself to feel awful about this.  Again, I applaud your honesty in posting this.  Obviously, something that needed to be discussed....about 70 posts in an hour or so.  
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline milker

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #75 on: April 06, 2007, 12:23:24 AM »
So you DO have more than a "millimeter" of conscience....I suspected as much, otherwise you wouldn't have come here to tell us your story. 

What I'm asking, once again, is how do you guys that have been in this situation, that is, in a sex club with hard dicks around you, deal with your status and disclose it. I couldn't.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #76 on: April 06, 2007, 12:23:39 AM »
With all the talk I have seen online for "BB Parties" and such, I am wondering why some sex clubs haven't offered something like a Poz Only event. 

I had thought of that too. Bars have leather night, bear night, drag night...

Offline thunter34

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  • His name is Carl.
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #77 on: April 06, 2007, 12:27:03 AM »
I'm not sure it would be something that the "public" would appreciate, but i personally would like such events.

Milker.

Exactly.  And so would I.  

I suggest that we would not be the only two.  The overall message I have heard on these forums has been that most of us prefer to try to sero-sort.  And I have seen plenty of advertisments for BB Parties for what I believe is the same reason.  The fact that you say you would like such an event makes me think it is an idea worth considering.  If I was going to go get my freak on in such a place again, I would consider attending something like that.  I'm just tossing ideas like that and the stamp thing out there by way of brainstorming because I like harm reduction approaches.  Making it easier on a broad scale for people to comfortably practice healthier behavior.  That sort of thing might help people indulge while taking some of the pressure off.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline jupiter

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #78 on: April 06, 2007, 12:28:44 AM »
Hi,

If you cant disclose then dont do it.

Thats the good thing about a monogomous relationship. You only have to disclose once.  :)

Offline milker

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #79 on: April 06, 2007, 12:39:36 AM »
Oh please... I just haven't done it since my face sank in from lipo.  Like disclosure is a non-issue when you're like that.

Um ok. I'm going to bed.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Val

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #80 on: April 06, 2007, 12:57:33 AM »
Milker,
I've done more or less the same thing not once, but twice.  Am I ashamed of it?  Yes.  Will I do it again?  I really don't think so.  The thing is, when you are in a situation like that, well, it is almost impossible to resist and say  "NO".
The first time it happened I felt very sad and disturbed for some weeks.  I was honest with myself --- just like you now ---  and was pretty sure it would not happen again.  Well, it did!  And I did exactly the same things as before...

The solution?  I don't go to sex clubs anymore.  People who say the contrary haven't been to a sex club lately.  Because it is indeed almost impossible to disclose in the heat of the action when you have all those guys around you.  It just is! 
I admire you honesty in venting it on here and hope you'll find the answer for something that could be as addictive as a drug.  Please, be aware that if you go back to a sex club it may happen again.  Remember, the flesh is indeed weak!

Another solution is safer-sex only.  In that case, you gotta make sure that your stock in condoms is assured for the night.  Be prepared, though, to have guys look you in the face  with that are-you-crazy- look... And be prepared to go back home and finish with your own hands what you started in the sex club!  I know, it sounds awful, but this is the lesson I've learned!

Val
___
___
Arthus Bertrand
http://www.yannarthusbertrand.com/yann2/affichage.php?reference=TVDC%20YABFR084&pais=France
Ali Mahdavi
http://asyoudesireme.online.fr/index.htm
Richard de Chazal
http://www.richarddechazal.com/
Daniel Nassoy
http://www.danielnassoy.com/pages/galeries_portraits_2.html
Photography:
The word comes from the Greek words φως phos ("light"), and γραφίς graphis ("stylus", "paintbrush") or γραφή graphê, together meaning "drawing with light" or "representation by means of lines".

Offline Londonguy

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #81 on: April 06, 2007, 01:34:59 AM »


With all the talk I have seen online for "BB Parties" and such, I am wondering why some sex clubs haven't offered something like a Poz Only event.


I don't know if it's still on but I was aware of at least one such event in London.  http://www.playpitplus.co.uk/pageone.htm (nothing NSFW on that site)

As for the original poster, I wouldn't beat yourself upabout it.  I've done what you've done and I've hadunprotected sex with lots of guys without knowing their status.  It's been a bit different for me in that most of it has been through gaydar and there seems to be some sort of unspoken assumption on there that if you meet for unprotected sex then you're probably poz.  Certainly, in my experience, I think everyone I've ever had bb sex with on from there turned out to be poz.  Even if I didn't know it at the time, it would come up in conversation later and neither of us were ever surprised.  Saunas and sex clubs and stuff are a bit different but I think that same kind of assumption still takes place.  I dont really have a conscience about these things I'm afraid to say, if someone is neg and having bb sex then it's bound to happen and I'm sure they mustknow that.

Offline Bucko

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #82 on: April 06, 2007, 01:49:25 AM »
I attended many parties last summer. Although I focused on one guy primarily, I certainly got involved with others.

The hosts culled guys from Manhunt. Their profiles state that he is HIV+. Everyone whom I knew at these things were poz, but I didn't know everybody, and many people came and went.

I've been invited twice to a club in Miami that is pretty infamous, but never made the connection at the last minute. Had I gone, I'd have not thought twice about it.

But when you say sexclub, I presume you mean something like an extended backroom situation (much like this club in Miami that's nothing but). baths would be much easier as long as you stay out of the viperpits. Small group interaction could be/should be disclosable, however awkward the moment might seem.

But I'm in the camp of believing that anyone entering such situations is an adult having made a reasonably informed judgement beforehand. I'd consider entree into such situations is tantamount to disclosure in and of itself.

Would I knowingly infect anyone? Most certainly not, but that's not what this is about. This is about the BB community such as it exists here and now. I don't question or condemn anyone's interest in it, nor assign any motive.

Brent
(Who knows about these things)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #83 on: April 06, 2007, 02:47:13 AM »
I don't think I've been in a sex club since seven years ago, when I dropped a bottle of amyl nitrate on top of some Puerto Rican at Steamworks in Old San Juan... we had a good cackle and that silly fag still wanted to fuck me.

STEAM WORKS is closed and before i ever got to go there >:( lol.... milker i KNOW you are not the only one that has dealt with this problem because I used to live in fort lauderdale (in my tweaker days) and had my own reserved room at "the club" fort lauderdale (ok maybe not reserved but i went there VERY often)....I later found out many of the people i had sex with (BB) were poz and never told me....i didnt get infected by them because i tested negative after that.....but they had no problem fucking me without a condom because i didnt insist on one (my fault yes)....but honestly if i went to a sex club high or drunk id probably be faced by the same situation and dont know how id deal with it....I think it is everyones OWN RESPONSIBILITY to protect themselves but legally you are liable...and well since you do have a concience you will also have to deal with guilt if you later find out you were responsible for infecting someone (guilt sucks i know trust me)......but you are definatly not the only person that has had to deal with this issue and im sure there are many more that either arent posting or dont post here...

i became positive after that scare because i continued doing those things....do i blame the person that may have known their status and infected me? NO!!! i can blame no-one but myself....but for your own piece of mind i would probably try to find a way to disclose because if that person is into "bb" he will probably tell you "me too" when you do disclose....if not well look for another piece of ass (im sure youll find one there)

-josh
(who is still drunk and shouldnt be posting but continues lol.....and who will probably face the same dilema one night in the future because he just loves a sauna every now and again)
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline bimazek

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #84 on: April 06, 2007, 03:44:05 AM »
bb sex in the first 2 to 3 years after infection is more possible to catch a second resistant strain of hiv i heard, after that it is less likely to get another strain something about

bb sex can lead to anal ghonarrea which if you dont catch can quickly become an anal abscesss horrible requiring surgury to drain and then can lead to fistula which requires a 4 inch long cut in anus to the muscle sfinkter  months of rehab

bb sex can lead to mrsa infection in lung esp. if you tcell count is lower than 500 or even above

mrsa can get into blood or body and thrives in warm moist places and

poz guys can be and esp. tina crystal guys are covered with mrsa

a hetero st8t negative marine died of mrsa pnuemonia recently 18 years old

etc

but the issue is you are under stress

u just found out pozitive

takes a few years to get use too




Offline BKNYLivin

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #85 on: April 06, 2007, 04:19:44 AM »
Well, I haven't been in a similar situation 'coz I haven't had sex post-HIV, but I think jknatl pretty much said most of what I was thinking.
This thread has made me think and I'm going to sleep on it and if this discussion is still going when I get up I might have something to add without being too abrasive(that's how I'm feeling right now).
Milker, you went to the sex club with the guy after you had sex with him right? Just wanted to get the scenario
Diagnosed 9/18/06
10/13/06 - CD4:449, 33%,  VL:>500,000
11/20/06 - CD4: 392  VL:425,000
02/08/07 - CD4: 361, 16.9% VL:133,000
02/13/07 - Started HAART: Atripla
03/08/07 - CD4:401, 23.8% VL:643
06/05/07 - CD4:614, 33.6% VL:225
09/14/07 - CD4:612, 37%  VL: <50
12/14/07 - CD4:582, 38.5% VL:<50
4/11/08 - CD4: 658, VL: <50
3/5/09 - CD4: 847, 49% VL: <50
7/29/09 - CD4: 965, 50.1% VL: <50
12/28/09 - CD4: 925, 49.2% vl <50
9/16/10 - CD4: 1011 vl: <50

Offline livingpos

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #86 on: April 06, 2007, 07:32:49 AM »
Milker... you're not the only one. I wanted to post a similar question days ago and didn't have the guts. I have never been to a sex club but I think the question is just as legitimate in a one on one situation where I intended to disclose and then things get going and well... I didn't. I kept insisting on condoms but he kept refusing and took it as some coy game I was playing. Even though nothing serious happened. I felt really guilty and shocked at myself. Thank you for your post. The responses have given me a lot to think about.

Offline frenchpat

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #87 on: April 06, 2007, 08:21:28 AM »

I don't think I've put anyone in serious threat for HIV. I didn't cum in him. Nobody came in me.

Milker,

This is risky nevertheless. I caught hiv fucking a guy at the baths. I put a condom on, took it off after a while because I've never been comfortable with them, and because he said there was no problem. I did not come in him. I am cut. Only one such copulation happened. Still got hiv.

I went to a sauna some time later, having found out. Ended up in a cabin with a very sexy young guy who was really turning me on. He twice tried to get me inside him by sitting on me, I twice moved away. Told him I wasn't into that kind of play, we ended having mutual masturbation with lots of kissing. Of course I would have loved to go the whole way. Had no condoms with me, did not want to disclose. So I lied about my preferences and enjoyed the much more safe play (though not totally risk free) we had.

Not judging you, I am just trying to say that if you are inclined to visit such places there are still ways to enjoy yourself whilst keeping the risks very low, for yourself and for others. You mention a lot what he did/didn't do or say. Regardless, it is how you handle it that will lead to the experience being a satisfactory one or a sad one.
I would submit that alcohol or drugs are an important element of your story. Lots of fun can be had without them.

Being hiv positive, and knowing it, changes my life in many ways. My responsibilities towards myself and towards others are altered too. I think we all have to take this into account if we want to keep living life to the fullest of our capacities and desires and without denying our consciences.

Hope this helps

Pat

People have the power - Patti Smith

Offline jimw

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #88 on: April 06, 2007, 10:05:35 AM »
What strikes me in the answers is that nobody has said "yeah, been there done that".

Yeah, been there done that!

(Boy, that was cathartic)

I can't believe I am saying this, but I was in a booth in a bookstore off of 8th Ave. - the next thing I know is this REALLY CUTE guy is backing into me.  I kept screaming in my head "don't, I'm positive" while at the same time pounding away at him.  At first I hated me, then I realized it was not me that I hated but what I did that I hated and I decided that I could not do that again. 

There is no a right or wrong answer from a moral standpoint.  We each decide our own morals when we are good and ready.  For me, I now bring it up. The first couple of times was hard, but it got easier.  I now try to serosort, and only go out with other positive guys - but there are always exceptions to the rules.

Although I have hope for a cure, there is not one in the near future.  HIV can stop with us!  I know that is corny, but we, as group of people living with HIV/AIDS have the ability to stop or significantly slow the spread of the virus.  That does not mean that we can never have sex again, but there are ways to prevent the transmission of the disease.   

 

Offline Moffie65

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  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #89 on: April 06, 2007, 10:09:30 AM »
OK Milker,

Here is a quote from you:  "What I'm asking, once again, is how do you guys that have been in this situation, that is, in a sex club with hard dicks around you, deal with your status and disclose it. I couldn't"

I have been in your situation, probably more that anyone here knows, and.......  I have an answer that would be very helpful for you.   However, due to the attacks during my last couple of week's participation here, I would humbly suggest that you ask Scottttt, Koi, Strong Guy and a few others of the "new moral compass" set, and the ones who have purported that HIV is no big thing anymore, so just let things happen....

I remain emotionally and directionally challenged,
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline ACinKC

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #90 on: April 06, 2007, 10:14:03 AM »
I would say that you can suck all the dick you want without disclosing.  No one in the history of the epidemic has been infected by GETTING a blowjob.  So I would say you are good to go there.

But as far as anal sex goes....... I would say you can get fucked all you like with a condom on them and same would go for you.  This is a touchy subject but if you find yourself in a place where you feel you cant disclose at least limit the damage and prevent the spread of HIV where you can.

Just my opinion.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline koi1

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #91 on: April 06, 2007, 10:19:48 AM »
Moffie, I would like you to quote me and show where I said AIDS is no big deal, you would find the opposite. Don't bring the other thread into this. You have plenty of a cheering section. So don't play the victim. It gets old.

rob
« Last Edit: April 06, 2007, 10:38:54 AM by koi1 »
diagnosed on 11/20/06 viral load 23,000  cd4 97    8%
01/04/07 six weeks after diagnosis vl 53,000 cd4 cd4 70    6%
Began sustiva truvada 01/04/07
newest labs  drawn on 01/15/07  vl 1,100    cd4 119    7%
Drawn 02/10/07
cd4=160 viral load= 131 percentage= 8%
New labs 3/10/07 (two months on sustiva truvada
cd4 count 292  percentage 14 viral load undetectable

Offline NycJoe

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #92 on: April 06, 2007, 10:21:09 AM »
Doesn't their have to be some judgement in life?  All you hear is..I don't judge you or I wont judge you.  For the MOST part I agree with it.  But doesn't their come a time when a little judgement is okay?  I mean what would become of society if no one ever judged anyone for anything?  The excuse is always..your only human.  What exactly does that mean?  Yes of course we all make mistakes that is part of life..making them and LEARNING from them.  If you make them and don't learn from them then you are not just human..but also not very smart.  This is not an attack on any one individual.  Just an attack on the standard I don't judge..he or she is only human argument.  I think in fact a thoughtful response can be given along with some advice and or support.  Yes honesty is wonderful but its also good to help guide that person to try doing the best thing both for them and others.  Stopping the spread of this disease is number one in my book and trumps all.  EVEN if the other person wants to get it.  I am far from perfect but do my damnedest to make sure this disease stops with me.

Offline milker

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #93 on: April 06, 2007, 10:34:43 AM »
Milker, you went to the sex club with the guy after you had sex with him right? Just wanted to get the scenario

No I met him at the bar before the sex club, we talked, kissed, the conversation became very sexual and that's when he told me that he was a bareback boy. Then we went together to the sex club, i fucked him he fucked me, and I sucked plenty of other dick, and one other guy tried to fuck me bb but I stopped him.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

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Offline milker

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #94 on: April 06, 2007, 10:36:56 AM »
Ended up in a cabin with a very sexy young guy who was really turning me on. He twice tried to get me inside him by sitting on me, I twice moved away. Told him I wasn't into that kind of play, we ended having mutual masturbation with lots of kissing.

That's a good advice, thanks.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline milker

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #95 on: April 06, 2007, 10:37:57 AM »
I have an answer that would be very helpful for you.   However, due to the attacks during my last couple of week's participation here, I would humbly suggest that you ask ..
Ill PM you. Thanks Moffie.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Dragonette

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #96 on: April 06, 2007, 12:48:02 PM »
A woman's logic...

Daring to venture into this "darkroom" I suggest that you don't have to say you are positive - you can pretend to be negative and wanting to avoid the risk of contact with a person of unknown status. Therefore asking another person to put on a condom is for your own protection (which incedentally it is as there are other things you could catch I believe).



"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline antibody

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  • "every man thinks his burden is the heaviest"
Re: I've been bad
« Reply #97 on: April 06, 2007, 01:11:03 PM »
look. the way i see it is it takes 2 to have safe sex. i used to frequent the bathhouse (club san diego) and i assumed that most if not all the guys that go there are positive. if you hook up at a sex club it is mostly annonymus so there is hardly ever any talk of using condoms. i'm pretty sure that's where i picked up my little virus.
Timbuk      <50/ 794  CD4 10/06 
                 <50/ 1096 CD4 3/07
                 <40/ 1854 CD4 4/09

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Offline Lisa

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #98 on: April 06, 2007, 02:31:21 PM »
On the topic of this discussion, I want to thank Milker for having the fortitude to bring this topic to the fore. My son and I just had a very illuminating conversation stemming from this very topic. I'll explain more if anyone wishes.
No Fear  No Shame  No Stigma
Happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

Offline water duck

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Re: I've been bad
« Reply #99 on: April 06, 2007, 02:35:12 PM »
Dear Milker,

I applaud your courage and honesty in posting this !!

" i need help dealing with this "
no you don't, you only need yourself (you are a big boy) and God { if you have one} as your guide !!
The comments that you will received from others , well are just comments based on their experience and upbringing, which boils down finally to INTELLECTUAL MASTURBATION ; where before long will lead to a pissing contest and ....................................

bb or whatever , they know the sore !! Smoking causes cancer !! it is marked on the box, yet, people still smoke ...............................

 


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