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I need help!

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dario:
Dear B,

You are NOT alone.  The first few months are difficult to adjust. 

DO NOT RUSH.  Do not just go telling everyone you meet that you are positive.  But do reach out for groups or organisations that could help.

Hope! Hope!   And remember you are not alone.

Trish:
Hi B99,

I really don't have much to add to the great advice you have received by others here.  All that you have been told is on the money.

You will have a long and happy life if you follow the rules and give yourself a chance.  It is entirely up to you.  No one can force you to do things you don't want to do.  If you want to have a life, than go for it...it's all that any of us can really do.

As far as disclosing, don't rush...however, I do feel you need to tell your family at some point.  I know this is a scary thing to do, but nonetheless, it is something that could help free yourself.  Give your family a chance, but only when you feel the time is right.  You will know, your heart will tell you and trust that no matter what.

Living with HIV is no picnic, but it can be done.  I've been doing it for 17 years...you can too, if you want to.  The ball is in your court and your's alone.  Be good to yourself and continue to strive for the things you want in life.  Don't give up on your dreams.  We all make our own destiny and how you choose to get there is entirely up to you.

Welcome aboard and I look forward to reading more about you.  You've come to a great place and we are all here to support one another.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!  Definitely, not alone.  We understand and we care.

All the best,

Trish

aztecan:
Howdy B99,
Since others have already given you very sound advice, I will only say welcome to the forums and the family here.

This is a great place to come to for support, to rant or rave, lament or laugh. We do it all here.

I look forward to hearing more from you.

HUGS,

Mark

B99:
Thank you all very much.  Like I said before, I'm very straight-forward, and methodical most of the time, but I can't seem to completely wrap my head around this.  And when I think I have, something else pops up and blows everything away.
I just never thought I'd be dealing with issues of mortality at 24.  And it is really testing my strength (or the strength that I thought I had).  I've never had a lot to worry about growing up.  And I was always the one supporting others, telling them that they could do it, if they had a problem.  And you always ask yourself "How would I react if I were in that position?" And the answer was always "I would suck it up and move forward."  And that is just seeming so off base, right now.
We all know we are not going to live forever, but the demise of the invincibility factor of youth is a hard one to let die.  Most of us really don't lose it until we start to gain weight, or see wrinkles.  I don't know.  I think I might handle this better if I were older, but maybe not.  Time is not my friend anymore.  And though time is no ones friend, really, at least when you're young and healthy, believing that allows you to dream and hope, because (you feel) you have nothing but time.  And the reality of that dream that most of us buy in to all our lives, has just hit me hard.  We are mortal and are marching (some of us running) to the grave.
So I guess, a lot of my anxiety is the mourning the loss of this innocence.  But I guess if I would have been less naive in the first place I probably wouldn't have HIV.  It's funny, but the only time I feel not well (physically) is when I stress out about this thing.  Stress plus viral load, I guess.
Thank you all for letting me write my second monologue. :) They'll probably be shorter from now on. (Not promising it, though).

thirtysomething:
Hello B99,

You will live for a long time.. don't fret about the number of years you will live. I was diagnosed 3 months ago and I also felt exactly (and am still) like how you feel.  Things will be just fine.. Just try not to stress yourself out.

Take care.

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