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Author Topic: oral sex question-pls,pls advise!  (Read 2407 times)

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Offline faith

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oral sex question-pls,pls advise!
« on: April 05, 2007, 06:00:27 AM »
Hi everyone, Ive been following this website for a few months now and have learnt so much about HIV along the way.

My dilemma is this.

I had unprotected oral sex (i sucked his penis) with a male on 3 seperate occasions. He did not ejaculate at all in all of them, although the first time he released some cum outside my mouth in the nick of time. Was there any pre-cum? Im assuming so, and though I spat out a lot of drool, I may just have swallowed some pre-cum without noticing it. As far as I know, there was definitely no entire load of sperm in my mouth.

Besides that, on the 3rd time where we had unprotected oral sex, we also had protected viginal and anal intercourse. It was soooo brief, there was no penetration,both lasting less than 10 seconds cos I felt uncomfortable, and I doubt the condom broke cos he used lube and put on those "extra safe Durex" condoms.

So my question is this: Am I highly at risk for HIV? I know low risk doesnt mean no risk, but this whole thing is just eating me up alive. He had previous partners where there have been instances where the condom broke, so I got myself tested ytd for HIV and the other STDs. And pertaining to the sero-discordant couples where they had unprotected oral sex and the negative partner did not contract HIV, was it a case of oral fellatio where the nagative was sucking the positive partner's penis?

The doctor whom I consulted said that unsafe oral sex is a "high risk" despite me clarifying that he did not ejaculate. She got me really confused!!

I really hope you experts can answer my question. Thanks for everything and I have nothing but great admiration and respect for you guys.

Cheers

Offline RapidRod

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Re: oral sex question-pls,pls advise!
« Reply #1 on: April 05, 2007, 06:21:46 AM »
You didn't have a risk worth testing over.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: oral sex question-pls,pls advise!
« Reply #2 on: April 05, 2007, 07:56:37 AM »
faith,

As a sexually active adult, you should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If yesterday's hiv test was three months after this incident, it will be conclusive. Not that you had any significant risk, because you didn't. The serodiscordant couple studies do indeed include the negative partner sucking the positive partner. I'm fully expecting you to test negative over this incident(s).

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence. Please also have a look at some of the links on the left hand side of either of those pages. There is information available there on the female condom, which I can highly recommend as they give YOU the control over condom usage.

As for oral sex, keep your mouth healthy and you should't have any worries.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline faith

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: oral sex question-pls,pls advise!
« Reply #3 on: April 05, 2007, 08:36:45 AM »
hey rapidrod and ann, thanks for the reply.

The thing is Ive already did the test anyway so I'll just have to wait and see.

Yep, the incidents happened on the 2nd, 3rd and 17th Dec 2006 respectively, so it's after the 3 mth window period.

I consulted a male doctor one day before just to seek his opinion and he told me that I should be ok based on my details. But the next day when I saw a female one because I thought that perhaps speaking to a fellow female would ease me up abit, instead she said "unprotected oral sex is high risk, especially for females.."

I was like "????????" I know its a risk..but high risk?

Its just that, what she said totally was totally against what Ive read from AIDS and HIV experts.

Thanks anyway. Appreciate it!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: oral sex question-pls,pls advise!
« Reply #4 on: April 05, 2007, 08:57:15 AM »
The female doctor you consulted was wrong about giving oral being "high risk."

It is mostly theoretically risky. There is much more evidence through longterm studies that it is NOT risky. However, some have few have reported becoming infected through giving oral. Swallowing, bad oral care and other factors seem to possibly play a part.

It's a matter of what level or risk you are comfortable with.

But no matter what you decide to do, it is NOT a high risk activity. Unprotected vaginal or anal sex are the highest risk activities and by far the source of HIV transmissions sexually.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline faith

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  • Posts: 5
Re: oral sex question-pls,pls advise!
« Reply #5 on: April 05, 2007, 10:51:44 AM »
To the experts out there, I dunno if I should start a new thread cos Im very new to this message board, but I have a question which is directly linked to my unprotected oral sex experience. Hope it's OK with you guys.

Once, I accidently 'bit' / or perhaps my teeth might have hurt the tip area of the penis twice. Is there any harm or chance that it might get cut or perhaps there could be infected blood coming out of it? Is is possible? Will saliva be able to kill off the little blood that MAY appear in my mouth? I dunno, Im quite ignorant about this, so I am hoping that you experts can help.

Sounds stupid...but I just wanna ease my anxiety.

Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,288
Re: oral sex question-pls,pls advise!
« Reply #6 on: April 05, 2007, 11:07:36 AM »
Still no risk.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: oral sex question-pls,pls advise!
« Reply #7 on: April 05, 2007, 12:55:16 PM »
No, don't start new threads if you have another question or comment. Keep them all in this same thread so readers can follow the exchanges.

And no, you weren't at risk in this what if scenario your mind is coming up with. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline faith

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  • Posts: 5
Re: oral sex question-pls,pls advise!
« Reply #8 on: April 06, 2007, 07:34:34 AM »
Thx again.

Anway I so God damn scared and anxious that Ive decided to go for the 20 min rapid test tmr. I cannot wait any longer.

To you experts out there, let's say that the guy is newly infected (Im just doing the rough Math based on the last time he had sex before me) for ard 4-6 weeks and then we had the unprotected oral sex encounter, what are the chances of me contracting HIV if I were to swallow his pre-cum cos as fas as I know, the viral load is very high amongst those newly infected.

oh God this is killing me..

Ann, Andy, Rod and you guys out there...pls help!

Offline Ann

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  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: oral sex question-pls,pls advise!
« Reply #9 on: April 06, 2007, 07:50:45 AM »
faith,

No matter which way you want to look at it, your risk was marginal at best. I'm fully expecting a negative result.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline faith

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: oral sex question-pls,pls advise!
« Reply #10 on: April 06, 2007, 08:07:18 AM »
you know, i cant belive that you experts are more confident than I am that the results will be negative.

Dont get me wrong, I appreciate and respect the work that you guys are doing....it's just that, the whole anxiety is consuming me. I know my risks are low...but I cant seem to just chill and be optimistic. I think it's because I know for a fact my life will change should the worse happen and then there's this whole stigma and emotional baggage that comes along with HIV.

After this whole episode Im gonna definitely do more for AIDS and HIV awareness.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,689
Re: oral sex question-pls,pls advise!
« Reply #11 on: April 06, 2007, 10:07:23 AM »
Fortunately your feelings aren't facts.

A test result is a fact and like Ann I do expect you are going to test negative.

Good luck and keep us posted.
Andy Velez

 


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