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Author Topic: Talking to your doctor about sexual matters  (Read 5740 times)

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Offline bravebuddharich

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  • Posts: 179
Talking to your doctor about sexual matters
« on: April 03, 2007, 01:04:39 PM »
I had my doctor's appointment yesterday - all of the usual stuff, and a bit more (he's checking me for neuropathy). He usually asks me about my sexual activity, but this time, there was somebody else in the room, and I fudged the truth, didn't go into detail. I was embarrassed. I wrote him an e-mail afterwards and corrected it. (Although I've been much safer with a particular partner, and I'm the insertive partner, he still scares me due to his promiscuity - so I worry despite being much safer with him; I hope this makes sense to readers of this post).

It was actually harder for me personally to talk about sexual matters with female doctors. This particular doctor, I am very infatuated with him, and I think I'm embarrassed by my sexual activity to some degree, don't like admitting it too much - does this come up for other HIVer's with their doctors??
« Last Edit: April 04, 2007, 10:10:47 AM by Peter Staley »

Offline woodshere

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2007, 01:27:55 PM »
The only thing attractive about my doctor is his checkbook. 

I am trying to remember, but I don't think my dr has ever asked about my sexual activity or talked about it in any way.  Do most doctors have these conversations?

Woods
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline Peter6836

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2007, 01:34:00 PM »
My doctor who I saw yesterday is quite a great guy. I think anyway. I am so impressed and happy with him. I suppose I am developing a bit of a crush on him. Anyway, he always asks me if I have a partner. Which I do not. I take that as an opening to talk to him about sex. I certainly would not feel self concious about speaking to him about it. As well if someone else were in the room that I did not feel comfortable with I would not hesitate to ask to talk to my doctor alone. We must be our first and best advocate!!!!

Offline Moffie65

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #3 on: April 03, 2007, 01:50:18 PM »
We must be our first and best advocate!!!!

Very good Peter!  I am a firm believer that my body is mine and mine alone.  I am responsible for things I do with it, and I am responsible for communicating anything I wish to my doctor, my nurse, my partner and finally my therapist, who doesn't really want to know.  My body is a machine of infinate wonder, and when it is malfunctioning, the first one I talk to is my female nurse.  I have surprised her a few times, but mostly because I was so very forward and honest about some usualy secretive subject, like something sexual.  It is not my responsibility for the feelings of the doctor or the nurse, as they are the ones on the payroll to deal with my inquiries and my curiosity. 

Personally I would wonder about a male doctor that asked all the time about my sexual matters, as they have little or nothing to do with HIV in general.  I would be more concerned about why my doctor was curious about sexual matters.  If your doctor is inquiring to pass judgement on your sexual proclivities, then I would say that they are indeed a screwed up professional and I would advise getting a doctor that was more interested in HIV and what it is doing to your organs, and your body at large. 

Like Woods, I feel that it is just a bit queer that a doctor would even inquire about your sexual issues, as this is not even part of the picture in keeping a healthy body with HIV. 

Curious story.

Love,
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline bravebuddharich

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #4 on: April 03, 2007, 03:53:30 PM »
There were two reasons he asks about sexual activity: to see if we need to do STD tests; and because I got a parasite, most likely due to rimming a partner. I know I've been much safer - I was uncomfortable with the other person present, and felt embarrassed to tell my doctor just the bit of information that although I have been much safer with this guy, he is incredibly promiscuous, which makes me nervous. I hope that makes sense.

Do other HIVer's get asked these questions, particularly those that are sexually active?? I'm probably beng too sensitive about it due to my infatuation??

Metta,
Rich

Offline Buckmark

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #5 on: April 03, 2007, 04:08:02 PM »
When I see my doctor for a general check-up / labs, he usually (but not always) inquires about
sexual activity.  It doesn't seem to be in a creepy or unusual way -- he's not asking for details.
There are a lot of other STDs out there besides HIV, and it makes sense to be aware of them.
A general visit for labs etc. seems like a good time to do that.

Now if I only had some activity to report to him.    :(

Henry
"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline koi1

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #6 on: April 03, 2007, 06:11:26 PM »
My gastro interologist aked me if I had sex with men when my labs came back positive for amoebiasis. He assumed I got it from being a "dirty homosexual" of course. I was a bit annoyed, but I got over it.

He insisted that I still had amoebiasis when I kept having diarrhea, then I set him straight. The day of my colonoscopy he brought it up again, and said "You don't realize that we spend our lives eating other people's shit. " He was a little too obsessed with scat if you ask me, but hello, he's gastrointerologist.

My current doctor is a woman from India. She is very stratightforward in asking me if I am having sex at each visit. She tells me to wear condoms to protect myself and others. I have not had anything anal to report, and I don't know if I would if I did. But I guess most doctors do ask about sexual activity if it is relevant to our care.

rob
« Last Edit: April 03, 2007, 06:16:47 PM by koi1 »
diagnosed on 11/20/06 viral load 23,000  cd4 97    8%
01/04/07 six weeks after diagnosis vl 53,000 cd4 cd4 70    6%
Began sustiva truvada 01/04/07
newest labs  drawn on 01/15/07  vl 1,100    cd4 119    7%
Drawn 02/10/07
cd4=160 viral load= 131 percentage= 8%
New labs 3/10/07 (two months on sustiva truvada
cd4 count 292  percentage 14 viral load undetectable

Offline bocker3

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #7 on: April 03, 2007, 06:44:43 PM »
I wouldn't automatically assume that some nefarious is going on.....

I believe that if a doctor is doing a general exam and taking your medical history, than asking about your sexual activities and/or sexual health is a must.  This is not about passing judgement (or should NOT be, anyway), but is about getting a complete picture of you.  What may seem unimportant on its face, may be an important piece of information in trying to figure out something else that may be wrong (i.e. STDs, parasites or even potential clogged arteries if one is having issues with erections).
Additionally, it gives the doctor (or other health care professional) an opportunity to insure that the patient understands the importance of safer sex practices -- both for the partner(s) and the patient.


Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline DingoBoi

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #8 on: April 03, 2007, 08:34:38 PM »
I have been much safer with this guy, he is incredibly promiscuous, which makes me nervous. I hope that makes sense.

Do other HIVer's get asked these questions, particularly those that are sexually active?? I'm probably beng too sensitive about it due to my infatuation??

Metta,
Rich

Um... sorry for pointing out the obvious, but you are as big a slut as him.  I really dislike when people 'hookup' and then fret about what they have done being the other person is 'really promiscuous'.

Takes two to tango dude.


Offline livingpos

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #9 on: April 03, 2007, 08:51:36 PM »

"Personally I would wonder about a male doctor that asked all the time about my sexual matters, as they have little or nothing to do with HIV in general.  I would be more concerned about why my doctor was curious about sexual matters.  If your doctor is inquiring to pass judgement on your sexual proclivities, then I would say that they are indeed a screwed up professional and I would advise getting a doctor that was more interested in HIV and what it is doing to your organs, and your body at large. 

Like Woods, I feel that it is just a bit queer that a doctor would even inquire about your sexual issues, as this is not even part of the picture in keeping a healthy body with HIV. "

I totally agree that if the doctor's intentions are to pass judgement then he is out of line... but...thought I might just add my 10 cents here... when I visit my doctor he always does a thorough medical and physical check first, but after that opens the conversation to include work, social life (friends and family) and love / sex life. The manner of his enquiry never makes me uncomfortable, it is very clear that he is treating my health on a holistic level. While my physical health has improved I struggle with fatigue at work, often get depressed and withdraw socially. In the first year of my diagnosis I was too afraid to even think of having sex ever again. Doc was a wonderful support encouraging me not to be defined by a virus but to live a full human life. He appreciates how hiv can affect so many aspects of our lives and believes that this can also affect our overall health. Just a thought... lucky to have a great doc.

all the best
livingpos

Offline Bucko

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    • The Spin Cycle
Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #10 on: April 03, 2007, 09:43:15 PM »
My gastro interologist aked me if I had sex with men when my labs came back positive for amoebiasis. He assumed I got it from being a "dirty homosexual" of course. I was a bit annoyed, but I got over it.

He insisted that I still had amoebiasis when I kept having diarrhea, then I set him straight. The day of my colonoscopy he brought it up again, and said "You don't realize that we spend our lives eating other people's shit. " He was a little too obsessed with scat if you ask me, but hello, he's gastrointerologist.

My current doctor is a woman from India. She is very stratightforward in asking me if I am having sex at each visit. She tells me to wear condoms to protect myself and others. I have not had anything anal to report, and I don't know if I would if I did. But I guess most doctors do ask about sexual activity if it is relevant to our care.

rob

I had the identical experience with a GI doc in CT. He misdiagnosed my med-induced diarrhea for parasites, insisting that I was a filthy ass eater. Well, I am filthy, and I am an ass eater, but I only eat clean ass. I tried repeatedly to reassure him that the endless stool-sampling was unnecessary. But the doc knew best.

To generalize, I found the care in Boston to be excellent, non-homophobic and professional. Care in New Haven was atrocious until I lucked into my last doc, who was warm and very compassionate. But all anxiliary services were the pits. In SoFla, everything's the pits.

Brent
(Who discusses everything necessary with his doc but expects no compassion in return)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline milker

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #11 on: April 03, 2007, 09:50:19 PM »
I think we all have seen good and bad doctors, the ones that we trust and the ones that we roll eyes on. When I get trust and confidence, when I feel good that this doctor knows what he's doing and what he's talking about, then I know he's here for me, and I would disclose my dirty little secrets more easily if needed. 8 years ago I had a chancre on my penis, and I had to ask the doctor "well, do you want to see it or not?". He was going to make a diagnosis without seeing the problem. His diagnosis was "ooohh that doesn't look too nice". He never mentioned syphilis, and I discovered that was syphilis stage 1 8 years later. What a loser.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline pinkadam

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #12 on: April 03, 2007, 09:53:30 PM »
I think it is a good thing your Doctor enquiring about your sex life.  You can also tell him that you like those questions asked when third person is present.
Though it is little embarrasing , it is good that your doctor is thorough about what he is doing. I believe people who are HIV +ve should be extra careful for STDs.

My doctor once opened my pants and checked my pennis and my butt hole. I was shocked at first but later iam very glad he did it as it made be stop worrying for simple symptoms.

I believe we should communicate with our doctor even simple concerns before it is too late.

Pink

Offline sdcabincrew74

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #13 on: April 03, 2007, 10:18:52 PM »
Well, my doc and I discuss it casually, when I am in for bloodwork, to see if we need to do any extra tests.  My doc is gay and poz, in fact, I ran into him at a local bathhouse once and he is VERY well hung .... LOL.  I am perfectly comfortable with my doc and will tell him anything ..... I feel that is the only way to get the best care.
The difference between an overnight and a layover is luck!

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #14 on: April 03, 2007, 10:26:45 PM »
I think I'm embarrassed by my sexual activity to some degree, don't like admitting it too much - does this come up for other HIVer's with their doctors??


Hi - Even though I should (because honesty is the best policy), I have never talked to any doctor about non-vanilla sexual activity. I have answered some basic sex questions which my ID doctor asked me.

today I had an appointment (referral from the HIV clinic within the SAME hospital) with the colon-rectal clinic. There were two people in the room. One male, one female. They made me feel like a dummy

Them: "What brings you here?"
Me: "Screening for HPV, colon cancer and things like that"
Them: "Why would you think you have HPV or colon cancer? Do you have a family history of polyps in your family?"
Me: "Well I have HIV and to my knowledge there are no problems in the family about polyps."
Them: "Well you're 35 and we don't do colonscopies until someone's age 50"

I'm gonna file a complaint I think. It was tres bizarre - I got a bad feeling about it. Like an "unprofessional" vibe. Should I have said I'm a man who has sex with men? I mean, that's obvious right? I didn't like their vibe AT ALL and it was doubled because there were 2 of them. The referral was from the HIV clinic so one could assume I'm a MSM. Were they waiting for me to blurt it out?? ??? Their vibe sucked. It's like yeah, you two make me extremely uncomfortable so I'm gonna tell you everything about me and what I do. Puhleez. My ID doctor won't like hearing this story. I wonder if he knows these people. The drafting of my treatise begins tomorrow. Tired now

Offline GAMark

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #15 on: April 03, 2007, 10:28:07 PM »
My doctor and I have never talked about sex, but every time I go to see her she always gives me gobs of condoms. Flavored ones, ribbed ones, even glow in the dark ones. Thing is I don't use them as I am far from sexualy active, and when I tell her this she just kinda snickers. As for the topic of sex and the doctor, I asked for a female doctor after a few visits with my male doctor because I was not comfortable abou the subject with him.
Mark Metheny

Offline milker

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #16 on: April 03, 2007, 10:33:48 PM »

Hi - Even though I should (because honesty is the best policy), I have never talked to any doctor about non-vanilla sexual activity. I have answered some basic sex questions which my ID doctor asked me.

today I had an appointment (referral from the HIV clinic within the SAME hospital) with the colon-rectal clinic. There were two people in the room. One male, one female. They made me feel like a dummy

Them: "What brings you here?"
Me: "Screening for HPV, colon cancer and things like that"
Them: "Why would you think you have HPV or colon cancer? Do you have a family history of polyps in your family?"
Me: "Well I have HIV and to my knowledge there are no problems in the family about polyps."
Them: "Well you're 35 and we don't do colonscopies until someone's age 50"

I'm gonna file a complaint I think. It was tres bizarre - I got a bad feeling about it. Like an "unprofessional" vibe. Should I have said I'm a man who has sex with men? I mean, that's obvious right? I didn't like their vibe AT ALL and it was doubled because there were 2 of them. The referral was from the HIV clinic so one could assume I'm a MSM. Were they waiting for me to blurt it out?? ??? Their vibe sucked. It's like yeah, you two make me extremely uncomfortable so I'm gonna tell you everything about me and what I do. Puhleez. My ID doctor won't like hearing this story. I wonder if he knows these people. The drafting of my treatise begins tomorrow. Tired now

I would have said "well if I don't make it to 50, my family will know who to call" and leave.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline sdcabincrew74

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #17 on: April 03, 2007, 10:56:00 PM »
HPV, funny, my doctor told me we were going to do it.  I did not even have to ask, of course, that is why I like my doctor, he is pretty up-to-date with things .....
The difference between an overnight and a layover is luck!

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #18 on: April 03, 2007, 11:57:09 PM »
Today, right before I had the tube (whom I have named Big Bertha) shoved inside me, the ER doc had some general questions for me.

She said, "I'm sorry, but we have to ask these questions... are you homosexual?"

I replied, "And how!"

I thought about doing a saucy little pose for her to go along with it... but I was in pain.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #19 on: April 03, 2007, 11:57:54 PM »
Maybe they viewed me as a Medicaid moocher

I might not complain and simply seek answers elsewhere, y'know, somewhere where I'll get the professionalism I deserve

Offline fearless

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #20 on: April 04, 2007, 12:02:49 AM »
I have no problem discussing any topic with my doctor. He's kinda like an old friend, he's a big fag, and I've been seeing him for nearly 20 years (way, way before I tested poz).

I always assumed that nothing I could do would ever shock him, that was until the infamous egg incident. I remember shuffling in there on the Monday morning and sheepishly asking him to check to see if I had removed all the shell. Once I had explained exactly what happened, we had a good laugh about it. 
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline milker

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #21 on: April 04, 2007, 12:06:35 AM »
Today, right before I had the tube (whom I have named Big Bertha) shoved inside me, the ER doc had some general questions for me.

She said, "I'm sorry, but we have to ask these questions... are you homosexual?"

I replied, "And how!"

I thought about doing a saucy little pose for her to go along with it... but I was in pain.

Thank God you are not an homosexual. You would have AIDS!

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline edfu

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #22 on: April 04, 2007, 12:07:13 AM »
I had the identical experience with a GI doc in CT. He misdiagnosed my med-induced diarrhea for parasites, insisting that I was a filthy ass eater. Well, I am filthy, and I am an ass eater, but I only eat clean ass. I tried repeatedly to reassure him that the endless stool-sampling was unnecessary. But the doc knew best.

To generalize, I found the care in Boston to be excellent, non-homophobic and professional. Care in New Haven was atrocious until I lucked into my last doc, who was warm and very compassionate. But all anxiliary services were the pits. In SoFla, everything's the pits.

Brent
(Who discusses everything necessary with his doc but expects no compassion in return)

I'm curious to learn how you know an ass is "clean."  Do you keep a microscope on your nightstand and take stool samples?  That's the only way I know to determine the presence of parasites that are invisible to the naked eye.
"No one will ever be free so long as there are pestilences."--Albert Camus, "The Plague"

"Mankind can never be free until the last brick in the last church falls on the head of the last priest."--Voltaire

Offline milker

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #23 on: April 04, 2007, 12:11:42 AM »
I'm curious to learn how you know an ass is "clean."  Do you keep a microscope on your nightstand and take stool samples?  That's the only way I know to determine the presence of parasites that are invisible to the naked eye.

I'm an expert rimmer (yes I have a rimming degree from the highest rimming school). And I have no microscope. But damn I like ass. I fucking like ass. I would lick ass for days.

Milker (who is kinda horny after downloading 20 porn flicks)
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #24 on: April 04, 2007, 12:12:10 AM »
oh noes

Offline milker

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #25 on: April 04, 2007, 12:12:58 AM »
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline thadd

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Re: Talking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #26 on: April 04, 2007, 11:59:36 AM »
I really don't see the problem here.  The doctor is the one who takes care of you and if he doesn't see the whole picture, then its your fault.
Here is a case in point:
A guy like to get fisted and he is having problems with his bowels...that is
a good reason to tell the doctor what is going on.
If you don't like your doctor...switch...

I will drop trousers anytime  and don't mind..male or female doctors.

Get over yourselves...

If they make judgements..then you tell them they are out of line...who is paying for them anyway? If you are getting services free then talk to your case manager.

Thad
"never say never"

Offline LatinAlexander

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Re: Talking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #27 on: April 04, 2007, 01:07:32 PM »
My doc is very open about it. He is very straight, and he even gives tips on how to have fun.

Very professional by the way.

Alex
« Last Edit: April 04, 2007, 01:30:30 PM by LatinAlexander »
Poz since Jul 19 2006
Initial numbers : CD4-250 VL 3500
First labs after HAART (Dec 04-2006) : CD4-432 VL-<40 (Undetectable)  cd4%=25.11%
Started HAART: Combivir+Efavirenz Aug 26 7:38 pm
Feb 08 2007 - Gradually stopping HAART cause of Myalgia. Protecting Efavirenz. Stopped Efavirenz, ahead with Combivir....
February 17 Combivir stopped.
April 3 -07 : Started ddi+3tc+efavirenz...
Gay and positive (What a lack of Identity...:) )
Looking for my Ben....

Offline otherplaces

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Re: Talking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #28 on: April 04, 2007, 07:23:12 PM »

My doc always asks if I've started dating again.  Unfortunately the answer is always, 'no'.  I think he just wants to make sure I'm down with the whole safe sex thing.  He always says, 'when you're ready to start dating again we can talk about that stuff'. 

But this is why I love my doctor.  My first visit was pre-diagnosis and I discussed with him the encounter that I'd find out later infected me.  I told him it was with a MtF Transexual and he immediately said (paraphrasing), 'Just so you know I have gay clients, I have straight clients, I have bisexual clients, I have transexual clients.  I have straight couples that are both positive, I have straight couples that are positive and negative, and I have gay couples that are both positive, and positive and negative, AND I have couples that are men and trans females, etc. and on and on.....we've got all sorts of patients here...and you can tell me anything...you don't have to worry about it at all...okay, go on."  Well hot diggity Rainbow Coalition!  Not only did that endless list of combos of human sexuality and gender amuse the hell out of me, it also pretty much made me think he was the coolest doctor on the planet....or at the very least in Chicago.  The part where he's treated HIV for 16 years helps too.

brian


Offline spock

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Re: Talking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #29 on: April 04, 2007, 11:08:38 PM »
Well, I used to tell my Doc's that I only have sex with Harry Right (hairy right) and when I want some strange I have sex with Harry Left (hairy left) holding my corresponding hands up at the same time. I have to admit that now after cancer, quad bypass, stent's, too many pills to count , that a physically imposed abstinence has taken hold. My Doc knows this and does not ask anymore. I have to admit, that it is not funsville living like this, but at least I am alive.  So let them ask all they want, at least they, and you know they may still need to ask. You don't have to answer!

Offline bearby

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Re: Talking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #30 on: April 04, 2007, 11:21:28 PM »
I for one have had many others present when my dr does my tri-monthly exam and have never had a qualm about having some one else present ( unlike my partner and his yearly dot physical ) .
But then the other person is always some one within the medical profession that is going into the hiv / aids field thereby letting me know that since my dr calls me an unusual case that they need to see me and how I have over come adc / ard * and how I did so even before the time that she expected me to ( I was given a 12 to 18 month window to emerge from it and came out in just under 6 months ) .
 That emergence was mainly because of my partner coming home from the road bringing me toys that a child would use  to display their dexterity or even  cognisance ( ? )  which made me use my mind to think about the goal that was to be attained and that helped me to use my mind and make me realize that I was ready to go back  into the world at large .
 NOW had it not been for the dr  ( I have had her in my corner these past 12 or so years ) I would surely not have survived the adc/ ard mush less become a vibrant member of  society once again .
 I yes welcome a dr's queries about my sexual exploits beacuse it is letting them ( her ) know that I am being safe and sane when I have sex !

* adc /ard  is the shortened termonoligy  for Aids Related  Dementia / Aids Dementia Complex
Have you preformed your random act of kindness today ?

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: Talking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #31 on: April 05, 2007, 08:38:47 PM »
when they asked me why i wanted a colonoscopy i wanted to tell them the truth about a fling i had in the 90's i got a "brazilian butwash" (i thought it was "kentuckyian" but whatever... bucko said in another thread it's brazilian) from a guy i really didn't know and then 100 bucks says i would've had to explain what it is. so yes, i was too embarrassed to say it

Offline Catman

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #32 on: April 06, 2007, 10:29:09 AM »
Today, right before I had the tube (whom I have named Big Bertha) shoved inside me, the ER doc had some general questions for me.

She said, "I'm sorry, but we have to ask these questions... are you homosexual?"

I replied, "And how!"

I thought about doing a saucy little pose for her to go along with it... but I was in pain.

Ha,ha. Just imagining that "saucy little pose" made me LMAO! Great humor, there. :D

  I've NEVER been asked by my doctor if I'm even gay! Not even the first time I went to him and that was in 1993. I don't act like a typical stereotyped gay male and he might even think I'm straight or maybe bisexual because I did once mention the "fine attributes" that a new female nurse had. My doc has never even mentioned if I'm sexually active. He seems to trust me in the way I take care of myself. We just focus on the treatment and new medications coming out soon (which is my main concern anyways). I did get asked about my sexual preference when I was new at this clinic by a lady social worker. I sort of got nervous and replied "bisexual" but I'm really like 90% gay. She asked me if I was sexually having sex with other persons and I replied that I was in a stable relationship that has lasted for 14 years and that sex was like in any other "straight" marriage. I have no idea what she wrote in my file upon answering this question, nor did I care. The topic never came up again and this social worker has become a very good friend of mine.
Catman

Meow to the birds
Meow to the tree's
Meow to the end
of this dreadful disease...

Offline Catman

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #33 on: April 06, 2007, 10:38:06 AM »
I'm curious to learn how you know an ass is "clean."  Do you keep a microscope on your nightstand and take stool samples?  That's the only way I know to determine the presence of parasites that are invisible to the naked eye.

 I agree with milker, here. He enjoys eating ass as much as I do. In my case I've been eating my (hiv-) partners ass for the past 14 years and have never had a bad parasite enter my body. We do have the habit of having sex most of the time after a nice shower, anyways. But there have been a few great moments hiking in those forest areas or on a deserted beach...no showers there but just as enjoyable! ;)

PS( I would not ,obviously, eat my partners ass after he takes a crap. I just know when I can do it with less risk.)
« Last Edit: April 06, 2007, 10:43:02 AM by Catman »
Catman

Meow to the birds
Meow to the tree's
Meow to the end
of this dreadful disease...

Offline Bucko

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Re: Tlalking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #34 on: April 06, 2007, 11:19:30 AM »
I'm curious to learn how you know an ass is "clean."  Do you keep a microscope on your nightstand and take stool samples?  That's the only way I know to determine the presence of parasites that are invisible to the naked eye.

I used to insist on scrubbing and rinsing an ass myself before I'd eat it, but it all got kinda Mommy Dearest. Now I trust my senses.

In my particular case I knew it was the Meds because the effects started directly upon commencing with a new regimen that included Viracept and Combivir. I know my body well enough to understand what causes what.

And as you're sure to outlive me, Eddie, I'll make certain there's a place for you at my memorial service. You can cluck and moralize to my friends and family to your heart's extent, clear in the knowledge that if I'd only seen the light in time we could still be having these lovely conversations.

Brent
(Who also eats oysters, sushi and rare beef)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline AIDS2HIV

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Re: Talking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #35 on: April 06, 2007, 11:21:32 AM »
I speak in school's and I will tell you all as i tell them:

If you CANT/WONT talk about what are doing, or wanting to do in the bed.....you shouldnt be in the bed*


myself,personally......I dont have these hurdles you describe, simply because i worked on "self"...I got honest with self, about self, and told on self to another human being, and continue to do so ever since....and it has been through that practice, that I am now free of "self" and able to make my "self" into a much better person than i had in the past....

Its the future of Hiv Education, and Resources www.aids2hiv.com      Got Community?

Online RapidRod

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Re: Talking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #36 on: April 06, 2007, 12:54:36 PM »
bravebuddharich, I have a female ID doctor, she asks me every time I go for my visits. She knows I'm single and is always trying to fix me up with some guys. She has even brought some guys in to introduce me to them. She goes as far as giving me condoms and lube packets.  She's just a down to earth great hearted lady and I love her to death. She has the comforting personality.

Offline Ody

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Re: Talking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #37 on: April 06, 2007, 01:46:28 PM »
Doc ask me about my sexual activity at every appointment. My feelings are if the doctor knows where I've been then he know where to look should something adverse happen.
True story, several years ago I was having e.d. and couldn't bear to bring myself to talking to the doctor about it, instead we treated the symptoms and not the problem. When I did finally mentioned it to him he did a testosterone check, it came back OK and he left it at that. I nearly went insane, I was mad all the time, everything bugged me, and my attitude went the way of the toilet.
I finally, discussed with the doctor, found a new one, actually one I was seeing prior but due to a move the distance was to far away. I talked with him, he immediately said, 'It's the virus' gave me those little blue wonders and within a few days I was singing zippy do da again, quite taking the antidepression crap and soon found things returned back to normal. Including the fact that the e.d. was gone after 2 packs of Viagra.
My current doc is gay and discussing things with him is easy. He's not being a perv about it and we can actually joke about things. During my recovery from internal shingles I was getting majorly down, he gave me some meds to help smooth things out, but adviced me to go home and pop in a porn and unload, maybe go get plowed (not that it would happen at the time, to much damage!)
or go plow (ya right with all the energy I had that would have surly sent me into a coma!)
Now he is adding a doctor to his office and between us, I can't wait to talk sex with this stud!! Between us, the first visit I had with this new doctor he added I couldn't concentrate on a thing he said, I left with chapped lips, man that ass!!! Doc agrees! ;)  :P

Peace, health and love,
Ody

I do have a slight problem with his new nurse, I went to school with her, talk about odd, not that she didn't know but gawd, I wanted to die when she hugged me telling me "I am so glad your still alive"!!!!!!!!!
Take a deep breath and forgive yourself, no since in you making it harder, that's someone else's job and you know they are more qualified, just ask um!

Offline Catman

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Re: Talking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #38 on: April 07, 2007, 10:03:31 AM »
bravebuddharich, I have a female ID doctor, she asks me every time I go for my visits. She knows I'm single and is always trying to fix me up with some guys. She has even brought some guys in to introduce me to them. She goes as far as giving me condoms and lube packets.  She's just a down to earth great hearted lady and I love her to death. She has the comforting personality.

What a wonderful doctor! I would love to have a doctor like this! (not that mine is bad) But I do feel uncomfortable talking about my sexual preference with female doctors unless she's a lesbian. Lord, Is there such a thing?  :o
Catman

Meow to the birds
Meow to the tree's
Meow to the end
of this dreadful disease...

Offline FunkyMonkey

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Re: Talking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #39 on: April 09, 2007, 11:33:20 AM »
I work with several "prevention with Positives" programs in our state.  I just finished doing a training for an Infectious Disease clinic that is integrating a program with their Doc's--the program--is to help Dr.'s talk to their patients about sexual issues.

What I've found in doing this work:

-Doc's actually WANT to have these discussions to suport health and well-being, but are afraid that their folks just might 'freak' if the issues are brought up.
-Good medical providers are interested in being helpful in every area that may impact the lives of thier patients.
-HIV positive folks WANT to be able to talk to their Doc's about sexual issues--BUT they need to feel like they won't be judged.

All I can say after getting some programs started at Community-based organizations AND ID clinics is...the people that provide and receive these services seem to have a "Why did this take so long to do"? epiphany afterward.

You can use warm-fuzzy terms like "holistic', but what I see in my corner of the HIV universe is that we are getting closer to understanding, treating and responding to the "Human" part of HIV.

Offline Catman

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Re: Talking to your doctor about sexual matters
« Reply #40 on: April 09, 2007, 07:44:41 PM »
I am so with you on your post, FunkyMonkey! Good one! :)
Catman

Meow to the birds
Meow to the tree's
Meow to the end
of this dreadful disease...

 


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