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Author Topic: I am lonely and sad  (Read 527 times)

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Offline worried100

  • Member
  • Posts: 39
I am lonely and sad
« on: September 03, 2016, 02:35:03 AM »
So I was diagnosed  positive around 6 years now. I met someone online and thought everything was fine, we had our ups and downs but at least I had someone.

It turns out that the spark was never there for him and he stayed with me in the hope that it would grow and obviously it hasn't. He wants me out of his house and my relationship is over. Looking back the warning signs were there but I choose to ignore them, I was just happy to have found someone.

I am 40 years old soon with no children, I'm trying to find HIV+ friends to go out with and enjoy myself with and have asked on various websites but no-one is interested. I live in the UK and just want to be happy.

Are there any women out there who can relate?
Much love

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,398
Re: I am lonely and sad
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2016, 10:24:29 PM »
May I call you Ried? Reads more optimistically than Worried.

I think whether female or male, positive or negative, none of us wants to be alone.

Why do you think positive women friends are the key to a good time? While I agree it's nice to have a couple of people who can understand it firsthand, much about living with HIV is just the living part.

Get counseling if you can, if you find you need it. Find friends no matter what their health status or sex. And perhaps you would benefit greatly by finding a cause that draws you in or a person who is worse off than you and needs help. Perhaps it would be an agency or organization in great need of a volunteer like you. The more you can get someone else on your radar, the less lonely you will be  and the sadness will be lessened by contrast, by engagement, by looking outward.

Warm regards

Offline BT65

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  • Member
  • Posts: 10,756
Re: I am lonely and sad
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2016, 06:17:34 AM »
I agree with Em.  Much of this is learning to live with HIV, read "live."  Just because you have "someone" does not guarantee a good life, as you are experiencing.  Relationships are really no different emotions wise, whether someone is HIV+ or HIV-.  Just know that you are a whole person whether you are in a relationship or not.

With that in mind, you also don't have to settle for just anybody because of your status either.  We are still entitled to happiness, and if you believe that involves being in a relationship, than don't settle for just anyone.  Find yourself, your cor values, and go from there.

In the meantime, what Em has suggested as far as volunteering is a great idea.  I did it for quite a while and sometimes still do.  I tested HIV+ almost 30 years ago and volunteering is a great way to get out of yourself and build your self esteem.  Do you have a particular interest or group of people you would love to help?  Try that.

Meanwhile, we're here.  I hope to hear more from you!

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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