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Author Topic: Sex toys and feces: any HIV risk?  (Read 6653 times)

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Offline abitworried

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Sex toys and feces: any HIV risk?
« on: April 02, 2007, 09:53:56 AM »
In december I had insertive anal intercourse with a guy who I had been with just 2 weeks ago. He had topped me with a condom the first time and I wanted to try to top him. When I entered him I heard a popping noise and told him "I think the condom broke". He assured me that it didn't so I went on. Five minutes later I suggested switching positions, when I pulled out I noticed that condom did indeed break. I thought nothing of it because before we had first gotten together he told me he had been tested in October, was clean and had only had oral sex with one guy since then (and I have the chat session where he said that saved).

Four days later I came down with what I thought was a tonsil stone. By the next day my throat was in terrible pain. I put up with this for about 5 days before finally going to see a doctor. The doctor looked at my throat, prescribed me some penicillin and motrin and sent me on my way. I did have some swollen glands in my neck but recall no fever, headache, muscle pain or rashes.

I had never even considered putting these two incidents together until the other day when planing on taking my annual HIV test and thinking about the timing of the whole sore throat incident has got me worried out of my mind. I keep trying not to think about it but its hard not to. My grandmother keeps noticing that I haven't been as talkative as usual and I'm afraid that if I tell her why she'll be worried out of her mind (probably more than me). I'm getting tested tommorow but the last week has been so rough and I'm still scared. I haven't been able to sleep, my mind is going 100 miles a second and i recently discovered an somewhat enlarged lymph node on my left arm near my armpit thats a bit sore if i gently squeeze it (i know that swollen nodes can be fore anything, but in my state of mind its only sending my anxiety into overdrive).

Is tonsillitis considered a part of seroconversion and ARS? And if so, is it possible to experience sero and ARS within 4 day of exposure? Also, whats some ways to take my mind off all of this for the rest of the day so I can get some sleep and get through work tonight without being a quivering mess?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: going out of my mind. need some answers
« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2007, 10:13:40 AM »
OK, a few things.

First of all, neither the presence nor the absence of symptoms will ever tell you anything accurately about your HIV status. Only an HIV test taken at the right time can do that. The CDC recommends doing it at 13 weeks after a risky incident.

There is absolutely nothing in what you have described symptomatically which is HIV specific.

It's good (very) that you were wearing a condom. It protected you until it broke. Given that this was a single incident in which you were protected at least a part of the time, the odds are way in your favor against transmission having occured even IF the guy you were with was HIV+.

Just to be cautious getting tested is a good idea. Since this incident was in December you can get tested anytime now and get an accurate result.

Make sure the latex condoms you're using fit you properly.

Also, just as an aside, the term "clean" is not one to use when talking about HIV. It implies that someone with HIV is unclean or dirty. HIV is a virus and not a matter of clean or unclean. I mention this because I'm sure you don't want to be insensitive about the feelings of others.

Get tested. My expectation is that you will test negative. Keep us posted and good luck with your result.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline abitworried

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Re: going out of my mind. need some answers
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2007, 12:12:23 PM »
OK, a few things.

First of all, neither the presence nor the absence of symptoms will ever tell you anything accurately about your HIV status. Only an HIV test taken at the right time can do that. The CDC recommends doing it at 13 weeks after a risky incident.

There is absolutely nothing in what you have described symptomatically which is HIV specific.

It's good (very) that you were wearing a condom. It protected you until it broke. Given that this was a single incident in which you were protected at least a part of the time, the odds are way in your favor against transmission having occured even IF the guy you were with was HIV+.

Just to be cautious getting tested is a good idea. Since this incident was in December you can get tested anytime now and get an accurate result.

Make sure the latex condoms you're using fit you properly.

Also, just as an aside, the term "clean" is not one to use when talking about HIV. It implies that someone with HIV is unclean or dirty. HIV is a virus and not a matter of clean or unclean. I mention this because I'm sure you don't want to be insensitive about the feelings of others.

Get tested. My expectation is that you will test negative. Keep us posted and good luck with your result.

Cheers,
I apologize Andy, I didn't realize that some see it as a derogatory remark. I'll try not to use it from now on. And thanks for the reassurance, its not enough to completely take my mind off of this whole situattion but taking a quick glance at some of your posts you seem to know what you're talking about.
« Last Edit: April 02, 2007, 12:15:33 PM by abitworried »

Offline abitworried

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Re: going out of my mind. need some answers
« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2007, 12:35:59 PM »
Ok, now I have one more question, I just got an e-mail from the guy I was with last time. I've been trying to get ahold of him and just finally got a response from him. Should I bite the bullet and ask him his status? It won't discourage me from getting a test done but it might help ease my mind a little bit.

Offline Bucko

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Re: going out of my mind. need some answers
« Reply #4 on: April 02, 2007, 01:34:31 PM »
Go ahead and ask him, but he might:

1) Not be aware of his actual results as they were a while ago;

2) Lie;

3) Get vaguely insulted.

The only status that matters is yours, but you know that already.

Brent
(Who knows that men can lie about such things)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline Central79

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Re: going out of my mind. need some answers
« Reply #5 on: April 02, 2007, 01:54:59 PM »
Hey

Just wanted to post and wish you the best with your testing. Try not to get yourself too worked up...

I agree with Bucko about asking your partner his status. Do it if you think it helps, but pursue what you need to do to safeguard your own health. Even IF he was positive, the chances of you being infected from this incident are small. Bear in mind that other STDs are much more easily transmitted and that these, along with a whole load of other innocuous conditions, can cause what you're describing.

I guess the thing that interests me most about your post is that you actually felt something go pop down there, thought enough of it to mention it to him and then took his word over yours.

What stopped you from pulling out and checking yourself?

It's only after I tested positive that I realised my low self-esteem or worries about being thought an idiot by the other person prevented me from protecting myself and extricating myself from sexual situations I was uncomfortable with. I'd encourage you to take a look and see if you have similar kinds of behaviour or self-esteem issues and work on them to keep yourself safe.

All the best,

Matt.
Diagnosed January 2006
26/1/06 - 860 (22%), VL > 500,000
24/4/06 - 820 (24.6%), VL 158,000
13/7/06 - 840 (22%), VL 268,000
1/11/06 - 680 (21%), VL 93,100
29/1/07 - 1,020 (27.5%), VL 46,500
15/5/07 - 1,140 (22.8%), VL not done.
13/10/07 - 759 (23.2%), VL 170,000
6/11/07 - 630 (25%), VL 19,324
14/1/08 - 650 (21%), VL 16,192
15/4/08 - 590 (21%), VL 40, 832

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: going out of my mind. need some answers
« Reply #6 on: April 02, 2007, 01:55:12 PM »
I can understand you wanting to ask him and go ahead if you want to.

But no matter what he says you still need your own test result. As Bucko has indicated, sometimes people don't know their status accurately. Or sometimes they will lie.

You're responsible for your own health. You can have all the sex you want with as many partners as you want. Just do it the safer way, which means always, ALWAYS using a condom for intercourse. By consistently doing that the HIV status of whomever you are with is irrelevant.



Andy Velez

Offline abitworried

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Re: going out of my mind. need some answers
« Reply #7 on: April 02, 2007, 02:06:08 PM »
Hey

Just wanted to post and wish you the best with your testing. Try not to get yourself too worked up...

I agree with Bucko about asking your partner his status. Do it if you think it helps, but pursue what you need to do to safeguard your own health. Even IF he was positive, the chances of you being infected from this incident are small. Bear in mind that other STDs are much more easily transmitted and that these, along with a whole load of other innocuous conditions, can cause what you're describing.

I guess the thing that interests me most about your post is that you actually felt something go pop down there, thought enough of it to mention it to him and then took his word over yours.

What stopped you from pulling out and checking yourself?

It's only after I tested positive that I realised my low self-esteem or worries about being thought an idiot by the other person prevented me from protecting myself and extricating myself from sexual situations I was uncomfortable with. I'd encourage you to take a look and see if you have similar kinds of behaviour or self-esteem issues and work on them to keep yourself safe.

All the best,

Matt.

I guess I thought I could trust him. I feel so stupid now though. After all, why would someone lie about their status knowing the law about that kind of stuff. Plus, on the site I met him on, they ask you things like position, "size", ect. and under "safe sex", he put "always". So, because of that, I thought I could trust him

Offline Central79

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  • Posts: 527
Re: going out of my mind. need some answers
« Reply #8 on: April 02, 2007, 02:17:40 PM »
Don't feel stupid... Fitting in with other people is something we all do. It's being aware of it that matters and making sure accomodating other people doesn't cross the line into jeopardising your own safety.

I think that you're going to test negative over this, and that gives you an opportunity to take a good look at yourself and ask yourself "what do I do, that puts me at risk? Why do I do it?". And then do something about it.

The law has a really bad track record in terms of policing people's bedrooms. It's only going to come after somebody who infects you after the fact, and that won't change your status. I had a profile on gaydar for a while, and put my status up there - it astonished me the number of people who messaged me saying "I'm poz too" and had no mention of it on their profiles. Poz people should practice safe sex "always" in casual encounters anyway - there're other nasties out there.

Use this as a learning experience about yourself - it will put you ahead of the game.

Matt.
Diagnosed January 2006
26/1/06 - 860 (22%), VL > 500,000
24/4/06 - 820 (24.6%), VL 158,000
13/7/06 - 840 (22%), VL 268,000
1/11/06 - 680 (21%), VL 93,100
29/1/07 - 1,020 (27.5%), VL 46,500
15/5/07 - 1,140 (22.8%), VL not done.
13/10/07 - 759 (23.2%), VL 170,000
6/11/07 - 630 (25%), VL 19,324
14/1/08 - 650 (21%), VL 16,192
15/4/08 - 590 (21%), VL 40, 832

Offline Ann

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Re: going out of my mind. need some answers
« Reply #9 on: April 02, 2007, 07:13:00 PM »
abit,

A correctly used condom rarely breaks, so please read through the condom and lube links in my signature line. As your condom went "pop", you most likely left an air bubble in the tip of your condom when you put it on. This is probably the most common cause of condom failure. Get reading so you can be fully protected in future.

Good luck with your test.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline abitworried

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Re: going out of my mind. need some answers
« Reply #10 on: April 04, 2007, 02:41:12 PM »
Well, I got tested yesterday and my results were negative

I would like to thank everyone who posted and gave their support.

Offline ACinKC

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Re: going out of my mind. need some answers
« Reply #11 on: April 04, 2007, 02:43:16 PM »
Congrats.  Keep using the condoms.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline abitworried

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Should I re-test?
« Reply #12 on: May 23, 2007, 01:45:16 PM »
Back in the beginning of April I came here asking about an experience that had me worried out of my skull. I got tested 16 weeks past exposure via Oraquick Rapid test and got a negative that had me dancing with joy.

However, I've been having this weird feeling in my right thigh that feels like a dull pain. I normally wouldn't even think twice about it but then I read that in some rare occasions it can take up to 6 months for HIV to show up in tests.

I hate to ask this, but is there any reason I should seek a retest or am I just being paranoid?

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Should I re-test?
« Reply #13 on: May 23, 2007, 01:47:06 PM »
First of all you should keep all your posts in your original thread.

You are negative.  13 weeks is considered conclusive. 
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Ann

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Re: Should I re-test?
« Reply #14 on: May 23, 2007, 04:37:42 PM »
abit,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

You've tested conclusively negative. You do not have hiv. See your doctor about your leg; whatever is going on has nothing to do with hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline abitworried

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Possible reason to retest?
« Reply #15 on: November 23, 2007, 03:17:13 AM »
Hello all. I hate to be a bother but I had a question and was wondering if anyone could give me some advice?

I had been tested for HIV in April as an annual HIV test. I had one experience that had me a bit worried but I came back negative. In the 6 months since that test I have been with one guy back in June for oral sex (giving and receiving) and him rubbing his penis against the opening of my anus. No penetration though. Lately I have had a somewhat big knot on the back of my neck and two swollen, tender nodes on the right side of my neck. Now I realize that swollen nodes could be for anything but this is the first time I can recall where they've been swollen enough for me to notice them.

Based off what I have have described would it be wise for me to get an HIV test or am I just being a bit paranoid/silly?

Offline Ann

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Re: Possible reason to retest?
« Reply #16 on: November 23, 2007, 04:25:34 AM »
abit,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread AGAIN - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

Personally, yes, I happen to think you're being paranoid. If it would make you feel better, test, but don't expect anything other than a negative result.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline abitworried

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Re: Possible reason to retest?
« Reply #17 on: November 28, 2007, 01:44:54 AM »
Thanks for your answer Ann, and sorry for starting another topic, again. I thought that since this could have been seen as separate incident I should make another topic.

To be honest, I do believe you are right but I had to ask just to be sure.

Offline abitworried

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Sex toys and feces: any HIV risk?
« Reply #18 on: May 19, 2008, 12:24:54 PM »
About a month and a half ago I met with a guy I had been with before for sex. During the encounter he wanted to enter me bareback but I wouldn't let him so he used 2 sex toys on me. After we were done he was cleaning them off and noticed on one of them a small spec of dried feces on it. I thought nothing of it at the timer. Now, since wednesday I have had a somewhat bad cold/sore throat, not the worst I've ever had but not too pleasant nonetheless. I know that you can't determine HIV from symptoms alone but it does seem a bit strange to have this almost 7 weeks to the day of that encounter. Plus, my little brother had something similar to this a week or 2 ago.

My question is should I consider having an HIV test or am I just being paranoid?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Sex toys and feces: any HIV risk?
« Reply #19 on: May 19, 2008, 01:04:30 PM »
HIV is a fragile virus. It is not easily transmitted and definitely not from the surface of objects such as sex toys, scissors, clippers and such. You were doing exactly the right thing by not permitting that guy to penetrate you bareback. You can have anal sex and regardless of the partner's status as long as the insertive partner is ALWAYS wearing a latex condom. NO EXCEPTIONS!

Other STDs are much easier to acquire than HIV so if you are sexually active it's a good idea to regularly have a full STD panel done. That means at least once a year.

Your symptoms? They have nothing to do with HIV. If they persist you should discuss them with your doctor. As for your brother, that has nothing to do with your situation. Just your head going nutz.

This is NOT an HIV situation and there's no need for testing for HIV.
Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline abitworried

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Re: Sex toys and feces: any HIV risk?
« Reply #20 on: May 19, 2008, 01:17:10 PM »
Thanks for your help Andy. I thought I was being a bit paranoid but I wanted to ask an expert first.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Sex toys and feces: any HIV risk?
« Reply #21 on: May 19, 2008, 02:12:54 PM »
OK. Good. Get on with your life. There's no problem.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Sex toys and feces: any HIV risk?
« Reply #22 on: May 19, 2008, 04:21:23 PM »
Abit,

This is the THIRD time I've had to merge your threads. If you can't be bothered to abide by our posting guidelines, why should we be bothered to answer your repetitious questions? Get with the program already. If I ever have to merge your threads a fourth time, you'll be given a time out or outright ban.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline abitworried

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Re: Sex toys and feces: any HIV risk?
« Reply #23 on: May 20, 2008, 02:41:06 AM »
Abit,

This is the THIRD time I've had to merge your threads. If you can't be bothered to abide by our posting guidelines, why should we be bothered to answer your repetitious questions? Get with the program already. If I ever have to merge your threads a fourth time, you'll be given a time out or outright ban.

Ann


Ann, no offense but this had nothing to do with the last time I was here. This a completely new concern I had.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Sex toys and feces: any HIV risk?
« Reply #24 on: May 20, 2008, 02:51:24 AM »
All your additional thoughts, questions and comments must be kept in your original thread. It's explained in the Welcome Thread.

MtD

 


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