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Author Topic: Masters, Slaves, Friends and Lovers.  (Read 2005 times)

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Offline dtwpuck

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  • Posts: 1,013
  • дано мне тело, что мне делать с ним?
Masters, Slaves, Friends and Lovers.
« on: March 24, 2007, 08:12:57 PM »
I said good-bye to my best friend today, who is moving to Los Angeles.  I just got a text message from him that he's driving somewhere though Missouri right now. 

I am looking at the silver chain on my desk with a padlock and thinking of him.  That chain was his collar.  We were lovers once, actually he was my slave.  (yes, I am one of those guys)   While we didn't work out too well as a master and slave, or as lovers... we did became the best of friends.   

We have been through a lot together.  A relationship.  He talked me into moving to Michigan to take this job.  We moved together.  Shortly after that, he had a heart attack, which seemed to be harder for me than it was for A.  I remember him looking at me after they put in a stent, crying that he was sorry to be so much trouble.   We realized soon after that that we were better friends than loverrs.  We broke up amicably, and he soon started seeing a big bad Detroit leather master and i started seeing S.. my most current ex.  He was always there for me during the trials and trouble that was my relationship with S and helped me make better decisions, was a shoulder to cry on.  He helped me keep my head on straight when I was coming to the realization that love isn't enough to keep a relationship together, and held me tight while I sobbed.   I realized that he was always taking care of me.   I was there for him when his second Detroit relationship didn't work out, even though he felt that sharing his troubles would just be a bother to everyone.   That is his gift and his beauty.. he gives of himself and in a quiet way really understands the people he loves. 

At one point, when we were going through the sadness of ending the intimate part of our relationship, he said to me, with tears in his eyes that he was afraid that he would be just another guy I dated.    Today, when we said good-bye, I looked into his big blue eyes and said "you will never be just some guy to me... you will always be my best friend.  I love you."

I wanted to share this bittersweet moment in my life.  I am sad for my loss, but truly happy that A has hopefully found his home. 

Nothing compares to the love of a friend.  Sorry for being so sappy, but in a way, I feel like I have been blessed to have him in my life.  This transition is a little sad, but it's not really.  I am a lucky man.

Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

Offline Ihavehope

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  • Yes, I'm a cry baby, AND WHAT?
Re: Masters, Slaves, Friends and Lovers.
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2007, 08:29:25 PM »

Friends are the family we choose which makes them extra special in our lives, sometimes we are closer to our friends than our blood family. You and him will alway have a special bond and u are very lucky to have him even though he may be far away from u now. Not all of us can say we have good friends like u do so u have been blessed with him. Don't be sad, be thankful that regardless of how hard things can be sometimes and how badly men treat you he will be there for you in the good and bad times.

Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

Offline tigger2376

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  • too bad to die youngish!
Re: Masters, Slaves, Friends and Lovers.
« Reply #2 on: March 24, 2007, 09:42:12 PM »
Puck, its not sappy at all.
Am happy that he's obviously enriched your life, and you his
and can understand the sadness
He may be moving
But he's in your heart

As you are in ours
I know i'm going to enjoy the party in the afterlife, but do you all mind that I'm going to be VERY late!!!

Offline Bucko

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  • You need a shine, missy!
    • The Spin Cycle
Re: Masters, Slaves, Friends and Lovers.
« Reply #3 on: March 25, 2007, 02:52:17 AM »
No one has the right to judge the texture and intimacy of your relationships but you and the other party, Puck.

I feel the emptiness you are expressing in this post, and just wanted to thank you for reaching out, because I know it's hard.

(Who judges the character of a person by his ability to give and recieve love)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline LatinAlexander

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  • Posts: 599
  • Bogota, Colombia
Re: Masters, Slaves, Friends and Lovers.
« Reply #4 on: March 25, 2007, 10:11:58 AM »
Oh man!:

LEt me give you a hug. What a beautiful story . Just a big hug for you.

Poz since Jul 19 2006
Initial numbers : CD4-250 VL 3500
First labs after HAART (Dec 04-2006) : CD4-432 VL-<40 (Undetectable)  cd4%=25.11%
Started HAART: Combivir+Efavirenz Aug 26 7:38 pm
Feb 08 2007 - Gradually stopping HAART cause of Myalgia. Protecting Efavirenz. Stopped Efavirenz, ahead with Combivir....
February 17 Combivir stopped.
April 3 -07 : Started ddi+3tc+efavirenz...
Gay and positive (What a lack of Identity...:) )
Looking for my Ben....

Offline Buckmark

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    • Henry's Home Page
Re: Masters, Slaves, Friends and Lovers.
« Reply #5 on: March 25, 2007, 10:20:22 AM »
What you have said is not sappy at all.  Relationships with people who are close to us can change in many different ways over time, and yet still add so much to our lives, sometimes in unexpected ways.  It is important to appreciate them, and let them know they are appreciated.


"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline dtwpuck

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  • дано мне тело, что мне делать с ним?
Re: Masters, Slaves, Friends and Lovers.
« Reply #6 on: March 25, 2007, 10:31:33 AM »
Hey everyone... thank you deeply for all the support.  I've had a lot of transition in my life lately and it feel like I am starting a lot of things over. 
I really appreciate the warm feelings I get from you all.

I heard from A this morning... he's somewhere in Oklahoma now. 

Even two years later, moving to a new city feels weird.  I was well established in Seattle, many friends, knew everyone ... here it's strange not knowing everyone, not having the history.  In a way it's liberating, but it also forces a lot of introspection.

Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

Offline bear60

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Re: Masters, Slaves, Friends and Lovers.
« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2007, 12:31:43 PM »
Change is one of the constants of life. Life...oh right is that a cereal ,is it Eric or is it what we are all doing here. I would guess you enjoy life more than most people on this forum. Therefor this change may come at a faster pace for you, I dont know. Did that mean anything at all?  Who knows.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline marc11864

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  • I apologize for nothing!
Re: Masters, Slaves, Friends and Lovers.
« Reply #8 on: March 27, 2007, 08:59:55 PM »
Thanks Puck,

 For some fucked up reason in my head I found couldn't fathom creating that level of trust and caring from a Master to his slave. I walked that road myself for a while and I guess I just never developed that with my own then Master. I guess I just didn't think that he would even care that much about me any way, more like just a means to an end.

 Thanks for opening my eyes some.  :)
Let us cavort like the Greeks of old! You know the ones I mean.

Offline Bizmark33

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  • Posts: 60
Re: Masters, Slaves, Friends and Lovers.
« Reply #9 on: March 27, 2007, 09:26:30 PM »
Yeah, love of another person is not SAPPY, it's what life is all about.


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