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trying to be a strong gf

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snoofle:
about 3 months ago, i found out my bf of 3 and a half yrs was HIV positive and that was how his mom and dad both died. (mom died november 2006 and dad died dec 2003) i was also exposed to it bc we had unprotected sex for nearly 3 yrs and according to him, he had no clue during those three years that he had the virus until he got tested september 2006. anyways, recently he had been veryyy sick..in and out of the hospital and he was in for  HIV fungal meningitis. i guess im still really new to understanding the virus and am still really scared and upset alot about it, especially him not knowing how long he may have had it, bc he couldve been born with it or exposed another way..but theres no way to know how long he had it. he told me his current cd4 count was about 270..which still scares me bc i know when the cd4 count is below 200 then thats considered AIDs..and i guess for people who do understand it..i wonder if 270 is a good cd4 count? and i wonder for people in relationships with HIV positive people..does it ever get any easier..right now, im 21 and i still go to college and its so stressful for me to see him going in and out of the hospital and watching him take 7 pills a day..and each day i feel a little more pessimistic about the future and a little sadder. 

tinydaniell:
two thing that i suggest is that now you know his status be supportive and get yourself tested if he adheres to the treatments he can live a long life and with a cd4 of 270 he has an immune system that will make him recover quickly help him take his meds on time

snoofle:
i was tested..ive been tested about 3 times now..the most recent in feb which was 3 months after our last sexual encounter and it was negative..im waiting to test in may at 6 months and hopefully not worry about my status

med forum:
I found out almost a year ago that my boyfriend is positive......one of the things that I would strongly suggest is to find a support group of some kind to be able to emmerse yourself in a family setting where you can talk about the things that might be bothering you, get some questions answered, etc. Depending on where you live, you may have to look a little bit harder to find a group that caters to the needs of a hetero couple.
I live in the windy city and I had a relatively difficult time trying to find a group like this but I finally found one and am happy to say that our first get together will be tomorrow night.

Also, continue getting educated about HIV and treatments as well as what's currently in the news...

ANother thing is to stay strong....I know that's difficult to hear and try to do many days but if you really love him, you'll get through this together. Supporting one another is an unbelievable force.....

Hugs to you...Keep your head up   :)

Andy Velez:
Snoof, if you have tested negative at 3 months that is sufficient for a reliable answer. Happily you are HIV negative and there's no need for further testing.

Now that you and your bf know about his being HIV+, if you resume having intercourse he must wear a latex condom everytime. No exceptions. They provide excellent protection. There are many thousands of sero-discordant couples who are having good lives together in everyway, including sexually, and effectively protecting the sero-negative partner's status by consistently using condoms during intercourse.

Obviously this has created a big change in your lives. By keeping your communications with each other as simple,direct and as honest as possible, you can strengthen your relationship and even increase the level of intimacy you have.

You're welcome to ask questions here and to discuss anything that's on your mind.

Keep us posted on how things are going.

Cheers,

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