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he positive, me not, sperm washing to conceive ? experiences? recomendations?

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Hi, my 24 year positive fiance and I are planning to have a baby. we're open to adoption, internationally, but first would like to conceive with my aging eggs while we can, via sperm washing and invitro. Can you recommend clinics you've liked, including anyone who went UK side for the procedures (less expensive), speak of experiences you've had, your overall impression about the whole process, costs...any and all encouragement and wisdom welcome.
Thank you,
and best life to you! :)

well.. very interesting post.. you may want to research this a bit more (Im no doc), but Im pretty sure that the mother has to be infected to pass HIV to the baby.. my first wife (who I inadvertently infected..) and I lost ours in the first trimester.. her second was born + because SHE chose to have the baby (with another man who was neg) naturally and took no meds.. I  don't think HIV can be transmitted to baby via dads sperm.. Im completely stupid when it comes to invitro.. ::) Good luck!


I wish I could offer some suggestions as far as planned conceiving are concerned.  I am HIV positive (of course) and my husband and I have two negative toddlers.  My husband is also HIV positive.  The first one resulted from a condom break (oops!) and, since both our number were so low and since we were both on the same medication, my specialist kind of gave the go ahead for us to have number two.  Again, we are both positive, but because I have been on medication since becoming so and since my viral load was so low, this was a success story.  By the way, my ob/gyn who specializes in "high risk" pregnancies including HIV mommies, mentioned that because I continued to use medication I had a less than one percent chance of passing HIV onto my baby.  He also encouraged me to have a natural childbirth instead of a c-section (which I ended up having anyway because the baby was breeched).  I, initially, asked my specialist about sperm washing but our insurance would not cover such a procedure which they considered controversial   My questions died there.   I know none of this probably helps (except to perhaps clarify that an unborn baby cannot become positive from tainted sperm!), but I do want to wish you the best of absolute luck and to tell you that motherhood, whether it happens biologically or through adoption,  is so unbelievably wonderful especially when you learn never to take life for granted. 



I've no personal experience of this. I want a sportscar, so children are out!

I think the best place that combines good HIV care, sperm washing and assisted conception is the Chelsea and Westminster Hospital. They're mentioned in this pretty informative article on aidsmap:

I'm not sure if you live here, but if you're British I think you're entitled to 3 cycles of IVF free. I think you have to be under 39.

Best of luck,


in fact in a new study release in last month 200 sero opposite st8t couples were followed they all created babies and none wore condoms and none of the partners got HIV, this is because they were all undetectable, so the advice was st8t couples can have totally ok to have unprotected sex to concieve a child but best to have protected sex during the days women is not fertile, i think this is a HUGE HUGE HUGE event, and i dont know but i think there is still a huge bias against gay male sex as opposed to st8t sex, for example, st8ts live swim in a world of love being the glue of thier culture, a man loves a woman visa versa and even though one is poz other neg, they stick together and scientists now prove they dont transmit even if they have sex without a condom in order to create a baby, (personally if i was neg i would be afraid, but the point is love, they love and want to have baby with that person)

. meanwhile in st8t world they are having babies one poz undetectable one neg...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! over 200 participants and they recommended condomless sex to concieve a baby if poz partner is undetectable  being on meds definately makes you less infectious to partners,

look at a recent study

200 st8t couples

one sero poz other sero neg.

all wanted kids

all poz partners were undetectable

all had many un protected sex acts to concieve a kid

all 200 had one kid and none was infected and none passed the virus to neg partner

some had two kids this way

the conculsion of study was

it ok to have unprotected sex if one is undetectable

but it is best to limit it to only furtile days

contrast this to the anti-male male sex campaign that is creating fear and hate against gays
called ask him if he is poz

the st8ts have relationship they want baby with that person cause they love that person

(personally i might want to find a neg. partner but that is the point the st8t world is in a oxygen of love and support)  the gay world is in a world of sex and usury exchange of value, muscles, youth, size, fetishes

i think it is all made worse by the safe sex propaganda which is very very anti male male love
anti poz neg gay sex

anti poz person really

how many gays would NOT be poz if they had been in LTR with a POZ guy while they were negative

probably half

no one is telling st8ts to not love a poz person or dump a poz wife or husband and many do not

sex is supported in gay mags but not love

body worship... kind of a sex worship and anti - humanity anti love mentality pervades the gay mags

and gay lifestyle

look at the recent study of 200 st8t couples, one poz one neg, all poz were undetectable, they all wanted and had babies, they all had unprotected sex many many many times to create the babies, the study showed that not one of them transmitted to the baby and not one of them transmitted to the other partner

imagine if this was gays... they would be saying... find another woman you cannot do that that is wrong...
there is some deep love between that poz st8t and the neg st8t married etc

if i would have picked on poz person to be in relationship with long term maybe i would not have got the disease

but i think the safe sex campaigns and the constantly shifting what is safe and what is not and the fact that nothing was really every ocmpletely safe

what we need is

focus on love

love is the solution

love between two men

there is a new study out 200 sero different couples all wanted kids

all the poz partners had undetectable vl

they all had normal sex to create a child

all had one some two kids this way

none transfered virus to neg partner

the study suggested unprotected ok but best to limit to fertile period if trying to concieve


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