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Author Topic: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?  (Read 10174 times)

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Offline thunter34

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Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« on: March 20, 2007, 04:03:00 PM »
So whaddya think, kids?  Should the queens form offical royal families or no?  Personally, I think it is an option that should be available to them if they want it.  Others say no.  So why or why not?  I've got my own reasons why I currently think it's a valid and fair request.  I'll spout off about it as the thread rolls along.  Wanna hear from the rest of yunz...

Go.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline woodshere

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2007, 04:16:15 PM »
Marriage -smarriage makes no difference to me.  I think the most important thing is to be treated fairly under the law. Partners should be eligible for everything that a married couple get from tax breaks to social security benefits, etc.  I think those would be won easier without pushing for marriage. 

However as a professional wedding coordinator it certainly would open up a whole new market.

Woods
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2007, 04:16:25 PM »
You do know there is a cure for being gay right?

http://www.comedycentral.com/motherload/index.jhtml?ml_video=83951  Part 1
http://www.comedycentral.com/motherload/index.jhtml?ml_video=83966  Part 2

Andrew
(who advocates loudly on your behalf to anyone who will listen, but still finds this shit funny as hell!)
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2007, 04:30:54 PM »
I refuse to emulate any institution that basically wants me dead. They can keep it.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2007, 04:56:06 PM »
I see no logic-based reason that a heterosexual should have more rights under the law than I do.  Religious arguments hold no water under civil rule.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2007, 05:10:13 PM »
I see no logic-based reason that a heterosexual should have more rights under the law than I do.  Religious arguments hold no water under civil rule.

100% concur with that statement.  And to write discrimination into the Constitution of the Unites States is the ugliest thing a person can do to that document.  I find it appalling people even consider the notion.  Might as well take it out of its pretty little case and SHIT on it.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline thunter34

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2007, 05:20:45 PM »
As I've said:  I don't really give a rat's fanny what any church would have to say or think about the validity of my relationships.  I'm more interested in the concept of formally recognized unions for their legal clout.  If straight people can run off to Vegas and get hitched by an Elvis impersonator or get wed via the results of a TV's audience phone-in poll, then gay men and women should be able to get a legally recognized union justice of the peace-style like everyone else.  I think it signifies an umbrella issue to me...and I suspect that goes a long, long way toward understanding why it rattles the right so much.  After all, once a same-sex relationship gains legal standing, it makes it much harder to uphold discriminations for things like employment and adoption, no? 
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Lwood

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2007, 05:41:13 PM »
Im pretty clear on the issue,  Marrige is a religous ceremony and as much as youd like it to happen, there aint no way no day that Gay mariage is going to be recognised by a major religion.

Civil Unions however are a legal bond and should be recognised for reasons of insurance, healthcare , banking , adoption , etc... and I believe should be honored universally.

Ok shoot me . maybe its time to kindof break some new ground. Let 'em have traditional mariage... who wants it?   Lets  redefine it and make it better...  kind of how we did everything else.

L
whose in a Gay Pride Kinda mood.
"Fortunately, I Keep My T Cells Numbered For Just Such An Emergency"
  -Either Foghorn Leghorn or Johnny Cash

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #8 on: March 20, 2007, 05:43:42 PM »
When heterosexuals get married only at the Justice of the Peace it's still called "marriage" by the government Lwood.  Nobody at Human Rights Campaign advocates forcing churches to conduct religious ceremonies against their wishes.  That's simply a red herring you've been force fed by the Christianists.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline bear60

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #9 on: March 20, 2007, 05:48:12 PM »
TIM
There are a few states where marriage between same sex couples is actually LEGAL....but I guess you know that?
Are you referring to getting MARRIED in a church?  or are you talking about the civil/ legal issues?
I have a copy of an ancient marrige ritual that is performed for two men.....I think its 16th century.  I believe this was a ritual formalizing a committment of two individuals of the same sex.
modified to add:  oh i see its already gotten messy.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Lwood

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #10 on: March 20, 2007, 05:56:48 PM »
true,  If the Mariage Reformers have a hair on their ass, theyll take on the issue all the way, and truly define it once and for all.  All of the 'vegas drive thru weddings  and mormon child brides need to be spotlighted  with the same scrutiny.  

Ill go out on a limb here and agree that some churches have the perogative  not to recognize same sex unions or marriages.  But the Government  I think, should recognise Same sex  partnerships  as a legal matter... the mariage part is a matter of your spiritual thingie.   but thats just my Ę.02
"Fortunately, I Keep My T Cells Numbered For Just Such An Emergency"
  -Either Foghorn Leghorn or Johnny Cash

Offline thunter34

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #11 on: March 20, 2007, 05:57:50 PM »
I'm leaving that churchy issue open for anyone else's input, but me personally?  I am only talking about it in the legally recognized sense.  Just as I don't believe the church should be imposed on us, I don't think our positions should be imposed on the church either.  Like Lwood said, marriage as a religious rite- let 'em have it.  

::jumps on soap box::  AND FURTHERMORE !!   ;D  Even if the church were to start opening up to gay marriage ceremonies, I doubt I would ever set foot in the door to have such a ceremony for myself done there.  It's gonna take a lot more mea culpa and make-nice from them altogether to salve old wounds for me.  
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Bucko

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #12 on: March 20, 2007, 05:58:43 PM »
100% concur with that statement.  And to write discrimination into the Constitution of the Unites States is the ugliest thing a person can do to that document.  I find it appalling people even consider the notion.  Might as well take it out of its pretty little case and SHIT on it.

Which this administration has done numerous times in pursuit of its various agendas and those of its base.

Thing is, "Marriage" (capital intentional) is a product of the social upheavals that swept Europe in the first half of the 19th century (in which property became more widely available thanks to the Indusrial Revolution). Peasants didn't marry, but they certainly formed life-long emotional bonds. Being as reliant upon English (and Protestant) culture as we are, it's sometimes difficult to understand the real "traditions" that we live with so ambivalently. The true historical reason why people chose to marry was to secure a dowry and a "legitimate" name for the children. Do any of those things still apply to our society?

The trappings of weddings are almost exclusively inventions of the Victorian middle-class, dimly remembered superstitions of a darker age forever immortalized as "romantic". We can ape them for irony, but to emulate such rubbish as our birthright seems retardaire. Instead of wasting political capitol trying to homestead such antique concepts (and afford the right a perfect wedge issue) why aren't we working toward full equality? Let them have their high masses and ugly "family values" rhetoric. But don't deny me the right to form legal relationships and name heirs as I choose (not that I have a pot to piss in).

I'll confess something I've never disclosed here before:
In 1995 I met a guy who had just come out (at the age of 32). He was dopey and sweet but utterly unsuited to me emotionally or intellectually. I presumed that it would run its course in three months (as such things always seem to) and have fun while it lasted. At just about that three-month point, a condom broke and, although unaware of my status, basically felt as though I'd bought the farm. As he had no practical dealings as a gay man, all of his friends were straight (and breeding like cats). All my friends were dead or MIA, so they became our social outlets entirely.

A year later, after I'd fallen ill with two OIs, we tested and both came back poz. I was beside myself with guilt and despair, and he was as horrified (obviously) as I. We took the weekend off and went to Provincetown to try and get a grip. It was there that he asked me to "marry" him, at least in part to show his friends that our relationship was comparable to theirs, in part to show me that he'd "stick with" me "no matter what".

Those were the conditions under which I agreed to a farcical "commitment ceremony" in 1996 to someone whom I felt little passion but much responsibility. It had everything, including an arch of rainbow-colored balloons, a cake, and an all-night reception that was the talk of the neighborhood for some time.

We went to Paris on our "honeymoon", which creeped me out. Everything there reminded me of Jean-Marc, who had died just five years previously. Oh, and to show how "liberated" we were, he goaded and bated me into arranging a three-some with someone I'd have never considered, only to console him later that it didn't interfere with our intimacy or contradict our "vows".

I can only thank whatever arrangement of stars it was that the "commitment ceremony" wasn't legally binding at the time in Massachusetts, as the relationship eventually devolved into his phoning me with death-threats which the police here in SoFla refused to take seriously.

Brent
(Who has a thousand tales to tell)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline thunter34

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #13 on: March 20, 2007, 06:03:12 PM »
Um....wow.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline bear60

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #14 on: March 20, 2007, 06:07:42 PM »
Jezzzzzzusss....Bucko.  Thats a hard row to hoe. 
Sounds like ...."BRIDEZILLA"
I have a story not totally unlike this one, Bucko.  You are not alone my friend.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline thunter34

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #15 on: March 20, 2007, 06:08:51 PM »
We gays have as much right to be stuck in a loveless relationship as anyone else, dammit!


And my anal baby needs a daddy.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Lwood

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #16 on: March 20, 2007, 06:15:31 PM »
We gays have as much right to be stuck in a loveless relationship as anyone else, dammit!


And my anal baby needs a daddy.

Whos Your Dadddy???
"Fortunately, I Keep My T Cells Numbered For Just Such An Emergency"
  -Either Foghorn Leghorn or Johnny Cash

Offline bear60

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #17 on: March 20, 2007, 06:18:31 PM »
I want to open a business that helps gays get quickie divorces...and one that provides laser removal of the tatoo name of the partner.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Bucko

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #18 on: March 20, 2007, 06:28:40 PM »
Jezzzzzzusss....Bucko.  Thats a hard row to hoe. 
Sounds like ...."BRIDEZILLA"
I have a story not totally unlike this one, Bucko.  You are not alone my friend.

Anyone who has lived a life worth living has such swampy histories. Matty knows all about the idiotic farce that was Brent & Kenny and somehow endured for nine years, thanks in part to that retched ceremony, but I don't think I've ever told him about the actual "event".

Oh, and Kenny kept the video. Yes, there was a video.

We gays have as much right to be stuck in a loveless relationship as anyone else, dammit!


And my anal baby needs a daddy.

I may not be his biological daddy, but I'd love your analbaby with all the rectal mucous I can muster, babe  ;D

Brent
(Who loves to cuddle little things)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline thunter34

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #19 on: March 20, 2007, 06:37:38 PM »
Whos Your Dadddy???


That's one paternity test you won't see on Maury Povich anytime soon.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline bear60

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #20 on: March 20, 2007, 06:40:38 PM »
Tim
Time to start a new TV show for finding those missing daddies of Anal Babies.  Call it the

Ask Mister Hanky Show
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline thunter34

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #21 on: March 20, 2007, 06:42:06 PM »
Tim
Call it the

Ask Mister Hanky Show

Oh, no she didn't.

Oh, yes she did.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #22 on: March 20, 2007, 06:55:26 PM »
The bottom line for me, is that even if "civil partnerships" are the name given to gay arraingments by the state eventually, then all non-religious recognition of same by heterosexuals MUST BE CALLED THAT TOO.  If you, or anyone else, does not wish for it to be called "marriage" (i.e. the license given by the state, I'm NOT discussing religious issues which are separate, though for some reason folks here aren't completely getting that) then heterosexuals must go by the same word.

THAT is equality, and I won't accept some faux equality just so the breeders won't have wilting daisy fits.  I used to be less strident about this fine detail of the issue, but once I thought about more I realized that the principle is full equality, not "something approaching" full equality.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Coffeechick88

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #23 on: March 20, 2007, 07:56:59 PM »
There is no non-religious arguement that justifies banning gay marriage.  If the churches don't want the gays, then they don't have to have the gays (though why any homosexual would want to go in a church even if the churches wanted them, I do not know), but they shouldn't dictate what the laws say.  I am baffled why this is even a major issue.  Shouldn't the government have better things do than try to dictate what goes on in the bedroom or who a person marries?   Ironically, the attorney handling my dad's divorce is against gay marriage--it seems as if he'd be all for it since he will ultimately profit from that venture. I am hearing all these adds on the radio about how we need to lobby our state congressmen to "protect" marriage.  Frankly, we heterosexuals have screwed up marriage enough, so it seems as though marriage should be "protected" from us as well.  Homosexuals deserve the same legal rights as anyone else.  If they want to get married in the legal sense, they should. 
Lucas James is here
Born 6-14-08 at 1233 am
8 lbs 14 oz, 22 in long

Offline Bucko

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #24 on: March 20, 2007, 08:34:07 PM »
There is no non-religious argument that justifies banning gay marriage.  If the churches don't want the gays, then they don't have to have the gays (though why any homosexual would want to go in a church even if the churches wanted them, I do not know), but they shouldn't dictate what the laws say.  I am baffled why this is even a major issue.  Shouldn't the government have better things do than try to dictate what goes on in the bedroom or who a person marries?   Ironically, the attorney handling my dad's divorce is against gay marriage--it seems as if he'd be all for it since he will ultimately profit from that venture. I am hearing all these adds on the radio about how we need to lobby our state congressmen to "protect" marriage.  Frankly, we heterosexuals have screwed up marriage enough, so it seems as though marriage should be "protected" from us as well.  Homosexuals deserve the same legal rights as anyone else.  If they want to get married in the legal sense, they should. 

Kimberly-
No slight intended at all, sweetheart, but your post reminds me of Kathy Griffin's assertion that she "speaks gay"  ;D :-*

But Philly-
What I don't understand is how you think that stridency will lead to any relent on the part of the Religious Right and their equally strident insistence to write equality out of the constitution. If you tilt at the word-windmills while undercutting the hard work done by many (straight) legislators attempting to find a solution to full equality in the real world we live in, we'll never win.

And, no, I'm not saying that the back of the bus gets us there at the same time as the front. But I find such arguments counter-intuitive and counter-productive to the goals we share. Let them have their words or choose to avoid the stain of our presence by finding another word for us. If the result's the same, then de-facto equality is real.

I actually think that the whole concept of marriage should be thrown on the dumpheap. It has no relevance in the world we all (straights and gays) live in. And it is the height of hypocrisy on the part of the right to blame any problems with the institution of marriage on our laps. Newt Gingrich is on his third wife, for fux sake. I for one can attest that I had nothing to do with his two previous failures.

With the word "marriage" comes two other big words, "divorce" and "contraception". The church wants to own these words? Let 'em have 'em and enforce them on their congregations. I frankly can't imagine how any of them will or should ever apply to me.

Brent
(Who lives outside of society's constraints)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #25 on: March 20, 2007, 08:38:51 PM »
"I don't care what anyone says. Two blokes and a cocker-spaniel do not constitute a family."
Hon. Paul Keating, Prime Minister of Australia 1991-1996.

Great man Paul Keating. Arrogant and bombastic, PJK was the last true visionary to lead Australia. Keating famously made this comment in 1995, shortly after the then Federal Cabinet approved legislation to override anti-sodomy laws in the State of Tasmania.

And of course PJK was spot on. No matter how many sequinned twinks and motorcycle augemented lesbians parade through the cities of the West to the heart lifting strains of Sister Sledge, the straights are never going to give us marriage nor recognise our relationships as being a form of family.

And nor should we want them to. We can do so much better.

I placed my views on gay marriage on the record sometime ago. I oppose it. Strongly. In fact I oppose all forms of marriage. So let's consider why.

Marriage is an institution based on property
It's that simple, people. If you think that marriage is about love then it's time to put the meth pipe down. Marriage confers a privileged property status on one section of the community to the detriment of others. Matty the Damned has never understood gays and lesbians feel the need to reduce their relationships to tawdry issues of who owns what, and whether it's Brenda or Andrea who gets the tabby once true love dies.

It's time that people were permitted to conduct their property arrangements however they see fit. If you want to name your brother/sister/partner/husband/favourite whore as your next of kin - then go for it. Just because you've shacked with someone for the last dreary twenty years shouldn't affect this.

Gay Marriage is a distraction from the real issues facing gays and lesbians
It amuses me that wherever I go, the moderate lesbigays advance marriage as some sort of holy grail which will finally announce our wholesome worth as a people. Valuable resources and political effort that could go into say fighting for the medical and welfare rights of people with AIDS (remember them?) or addressing the horrendous predicament of our queer brothers and sisters in Iran, Russia, Jamaica or China (just to name a few places) are squandered for so the Bed and Breakfast crowd in Darlinghurst or scenic Vermont can avoid the real issues.

Gay marriage is a clarion call to the Religious Right and is used by the conservative elites to wedge the progressive side of politics and to unify their own divided ranks.

Similarly it's time recognise what "civil unions" really are. The retarded cousin of gay marriage, the matter of civil unions is a fop by the Centre Left to buy our votes/support and keep us quiet. It's the sort of second best arrangement that the Mattachine Society would have settled for in the 1950's.

Second best is never good enough, except maybe for Log Cabin republicans.

It's time to write our own rules
The entire idea of being gay or lesbian is that we are free from the horrible blandness of heterosexual dominated society. And before people start shrieking that I'm ragging on the straights, I'm not. I'm referring to a society which is as oppressive for many heteros as it is for us queers.

Rather than aping their exploitative power and property structures, we should be advancing an agenda which recognises the worth of all individuals (even Queenslanders, Texans and the Welsh) and allows said individuals to live how they want, both emotionally and materially free from the will of the Establishment.

MtD

Offline whizzer

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #26 on: March 20, 2007, 09:30:38 PM »
I'm referring to a society which is as oppressive for many heteros as it is for us queers.

MtD

According to my straight buds, that is what marriage is all about.

-Whiz

Offline Val

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #27 on: March 21, 2007, 10:42:53 AM »
"I don't care what anyone says. Two blokes and a cocker-spaniel do not constitute a family."
Hon. Paul Keating, Prime Minister of Australia 1991-1996.

Great man Paul Keating. Arrogant and bombastic, PJK was the last true visionary to lead Australia. Keating famously made this comment in 1995, shortly after the then Federal Cabinet approved legislation to override anti-sodomy laws in the State of Tasmania.

And of course PJK was spot on. No matter how many sequinned twinks and motorcycle augemented lesbians parade through the cities of the West to the heart lifting strains of Sister Sledge, the straights are never going to give us marriage nor recognise our relationships as being a form of family.

And nor should we want them to. We can do so much better.

I placed my views on gay marriage on the record sometime ago. I oppose it. Strongly. In fact I oppose all forms of marriage. So let's consider why.

Marriage is an institution based on property
It's that simple, people. If you think that marriage is about love then it's time to put the meth pipe down. Marriage confers a privileged property status on one section of the community to the detriment of others. Matty the Damned has never understood gays and lesbians feel the need to reduce their relationships to tawdry issues of who owns what, and whether it's Brenda or Andrea who gets the tabby once true love dies.

It's time that people were permitted to conduct their property arrangements however they see fit. If you want to name your brother/sister/partner/husband/favourite whore as your next of kin - then go for it. Just because you've shacked with someone for the last dreary twenty years shouldn't affect this.

Gay Marriage is a distraction from the real issues facing gays and lesbians
It amuses me that wherever I go, the moderate lesbigays advance marriage as some sort of holy grail which will finally announce our wholesome worth as a people. Valuable resources and political effort that could go into say fighting for the medical and welfare rights of people with AIDS (remember them?) or addressing the horrendous predicament of our queer brothers and sisters in Iran, Russia, Jamaica or China (just to name a few places) are squandered for so the Bed and Breakfast crowd in Darlinghurst or scenic Vermont can avoid the real issues.

Gay marriage is a clarion call to the Religious Right and is used by the conservative elites to wedge the progressive side of politics and to unify their own divided ranks.

Similarly it's time recognise what "civil unions" really are. The retarded cousin of gay marriage, the matter of civil unions is a fop by the Centre Left to buy our votes/support and keep us quiet. It's the sort of second best arrangement that the Mattachine Society would have settled for in the 1950's.

Second best is never good enough, except maybe for Log Cabin republicans.

It's time to write our own rules
The entire idea of being gay or lesbian is that we are free from the horrible blandness of heterosexual dominated society. And before people start shrieking that I'm ragging on the straights, I'm not. I'm referring to a society which is as oppressive for many heteros as it is for us queers.

Rather than aping their exploitative power and property structures, we should be advancing an agenda which recognises the worth of all individuals (even Queenslanders, Texans and the Welsh) and allows said individuals to live how they want, both emotionally and materially free from the will of the Establishment.

MtD

Basically, Matty said everything that had to be said about the subject.  I would only add that even though I am against gay marriage for myself, I would fight for gays who would like to have it done for them!
I could endure a lot of things in this life.  Stand in front of a priest/pastor in a church to get married would not be one of those things, pluuuuuuse!

Val
___
___
Arthus Bertrand
http://www.yannarthusbertrand.com/yann2/affichage.php?reference=TVDC%20YABFR084&pais=France
Ali Mahdavi
http://asyoudesireme.online.fr/index.htm
Richard de Chazal
http://www.richarddechazal.com/
Daniel Nassoy
http://www.danielnassoy.com/pages/galeries_portraits_2.html
Photography:
The word comes from the Greek words φως phos ("light"), and γραφίς graphis ("stylus", "paintbrush") or γραφή graphÍ, together meaning "drawing with light" or "representation by means of lines".

Offline thunter34

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #28 on: March 21, 2007, 11:09:38 AM »
The legal unions thing becomes a much more real issue if one of those AIDS people with medical and welfare issues (and yes, I remember them.  I am one.)  gets hospitalized and his family won't let his significant other in to see him.  Or he passes away and the family takes everything...leaving the partner with nothing. 

While the model Matty proposes is all wonderful and revolutionary, I think working within the model of the world we all actually live in might offer more protection for people in the meantime, in the here and now.  Then we can set about completely redesigning how the world works.  Marriage may very well be a crap institution, but it is a part of the framework society currently functions within.  I would agree that it is time that people were allowed to design their property arrangements and such however they see fit.  If that was the case, this whole thing would be much less of an issue.  Agreed.  I just think we have a much better shot of getting a more even standing under the current laws of the land by attaining a legally recognized union than we do of somehow convincing the world at large to abandon such unions.

I just don't see that happening.  Nor do I think that the presence of issue A automatically renders issues B, C and D completely moot.  Things have a way of tying in with one another. 
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Lwood

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #29 on: March 21, 2007, 11:19:03 AM »

That's one paternity test you won't see on Maury Povich anytime soon.

this reminds me of a uniquely gross moment that happened with my first Boyfriend. Following our usual Morning Sex, he excused himself to the bathroom...five minutes later he dragged me to the crapper by my hand, pointed to the bowl and said " Look, he has your nose and my chin "   

I cant really say I miss those fun little moments..
"Fortunately, I Keep My T Cells Numbered For Just Such An Emergency"
  -Either Foghorn Leghorn or Johnny Cash

Offline thunter34

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #30 on: March 21, 2007, 11:24:27 AM »
this reminds me of a uniquely gross moment that happened with my first Boyfriend. Following our usual Morning Sex, he excused himself to the bathroom...five minutes later he dragged me to the crapper by my hand, pointed to the bowl and said " Look, he has your nose and my chin "   

I cant really say I miss those fun little moments..

BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That just might be the type of man I'd marry!

AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Lwood

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #31 on: March 21, 2007, 12:06:56 PM »
he's currently taken , Im not sure by whom.. Id have to check the "Property Of..." tattoo on his ass when he gets paroled in July.   Im sure his clever bullshit isnt lost on the other cons though.
"Fortunately, I Keep My T Cells Numbered For Just Such An Emergency"
  -Either Foghorn Leghorn or Johnny Cash

Offline thunter34

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #32 on: March 21, 2007, 12:09:24 PM »
he's currently taken , Im not sure by whom.. Id have to check the "Property Of..." tattoo on his ass when he gets paroled in July.   Im sure his clever bullshit isnt lost on the other cons though.


Oh.  It's that guy.  Never mind.  I withdraw my earlier statement.


"Property of..."  Guess that brings us back to the topic at hand.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #33 on: March 21, 2007, 12:11:01 PM »
Yes, but does that tattoo hide some tasty rectal mucous?
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Lwood

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #34 on: March 21, 2007, 12:17:36 PM »


"Property of..."  Guess that brings us back to the topic at hand.

ooh good one . although it really does relate to the mariage topic. I just love it when a thread weaves into something beautifull  .. baby Hanky not withstanding.

Im considering making him something special as a Welcome Home present when he gets out...
I was thinking of a set of steak Shanks   and maybe a DVD of Shawshank Redemption and the Green Mile.   or would that be tacky ?
 

"Fortunately, I Keep My T Cells Numbered For Just Such An Emergency"
  -Either Foghorn Leghorn or Johnny Cash

Offline thunter34

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #35 on: March 21, 2007, 12:21:20 PM »
Im considering making him something special as a Welcome Home present when he gets out...
I was thinking of a set of steak Shanks   and maybe a DVD of Shawshank Redemption and the Green Mile.   or would that be tacky ?
 

Deliciously so.

AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Lwood

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #36 on: March 21, 2007, 12:38:29 PM »
actually, I wanted to do that after his FIRST stretch in the Pen. I got the idea when guys started making homemade knives out if all kinds of shit in order to cut open paper rolls at the printing company I used to work for.  Every time I see one of those documentaries about prison life I get new ideas .
For instance I didnt know that the term 'Shank'  comes from the fact that prisoners used to sharpen shank bones into knives. So simple a Caveman could do it.   :D

and yes Im aware that this is a pretty outrageous Hijack of a thread about Gay Mariage  winding up in a 'How To guide for Jailhouse Weapons'  but really if you look at the Big Picture  its all related.
"Fortunately, I Keep My T Cells Numbered For Just Such An Emergency"
  -Either Foghorn Leghorn or Johnny Cash

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #37 on: March 21, 2007, 01:38:44 PM »
Quote from: Bucko

But Philly-
What I don't understand is how you think that stridency will lead to any relent on the part of the Religious Right and their equally strident insistence to write equality out of the constitution. If you tilt at the word-windmills while undercutting the hard work done by many (straight) legislators attempting to find a solution to full equality in the real world we live in, we'll never win.

And, no, I'm not saying that the back of the bus gets us there at the same time as the front. But I find such arguments counter-intuitive and counter-productive to the goals we share. Let them have their words or choose to avoid the stain of our presence by finding another word for us. If the result's the same, then de-facto equality is real.

I'm not sure de-facto can be trusted to be real.

An article today in the New York Times about how few couples have registered for New Jersey's new "de-facto" bs bears this out -- a whopping 229 couples in the first month in a state of 9 million.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/21/nyregion/21civil.html

Like one of the guys interviewed said, it's nothing more than a Jim Crow law.  I tend to agree.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #38 on: March 22, 2007, 04:46:54 AM »
Mine is simple, I don't believe in marriage, gay or straight.

Offline jack

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #39 on: March 22, 2007, 08:58:17 AM »
No matter whether you want to get married or not, banning gay marriage in any form is discrimination and that means banning or laws against gay marriage should be illegal.  Claiming gay marriage is some threat to traditional male/female marriage is bogus, and neither US political party has the balls to stand up for those discriminated against.
But lewis says it best
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7ucnO3d2oY

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #40 on: March 22, 2007, 12:43:20 PM »
54.8% of marriages end up in divorce.

Why am I supposed to be eager to jump on this bandwagon again?

Hmm.

I have my own ideas of what should happen.

First... does anyone ask themselves why marriage exists in the first place in the modern world? 

We're not transferring huge tracts of land between families anymore... the only vestige of dowries is the fact that traditionally, the bride's family pays for the wedding, and being an illegitimate child is no longer the social stigma it once was.

Thus, the institution today really only provides certain state-conferred contractual benefits in the modern age of women's rights and the middle class.  I'm sure everyone is familiar with many of these rights, there are more than a thousand.  They run the gamut from joint-filing of bankruptcy to hospital visitation rights.

I say, get rid of all of them for everyone.

As in... abolish state-recognized marriage.   

It's completely absurd and a violation of everyone's rights to say that one has to be contractually bound to another human to receive these privileges from the state.

What I would like to see is people given to freedom to confer the same privileges onto whomever they desire without the marriage contract.

If you still want to get married in the Catholic, Unitarian, Orthodox or whatever tradition you want to... go for it.  But you don't get anything special from the state for it. 
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline thunter34

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #41 on: March 22, 2007, 12:52:44 PM »
And that's the rub.  It's the state-conferred contractual recognition and benefits, not the sanctity or magic of marriage.  Agreed.  Boy howdy, agreed.   That's a great mantra:  Let's abolish state-recognized marriage!  Anyone want to start a pool on that happening?  I'm supporting the cause based on the protection some people might be able to claim by having it.  It's the potential empowerment provided that would be sacred to me, not the ceremony.


The state should have never gotten their little paws into marriage.  Now that they have....
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #42 on: March 22, 2007, 12:58:37 PM »
And that's the rub.  It's the state-conferred contractual recognition and benefits, not the sanctity or magic of marriage.  Agreed.  Boy howdy, agreed.   That's a great mantra:  Let's abolish state-recognized marriage!  Anyone want to start a pool on that happening?  I'm supporting the cause based on the protection some people might be able to claim by having it.  It's the potential empowerment provided that would be sacred to me, not the ceremony.


The state should have never gotten their little paws into marriage.  Now that they have....

I know it will never happen.

But I think it's the only sensible action for a modern society to take.

Just like that whole "don't put so much carbon dioxide into the atmosphere" thing is the only sensible action for a modern society to take.

We really need to smash all the old paradigms... the past fifty years have created a lot of anachronistic institutions and marriage is one of them.

Hell, if it still mattered... more than half of them wouldn't end up in divorce and Europe wouldn't have 31.6% of children born to unwed mothers.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline jack

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #43 on: March 22, 2007, 01:17:07 PM »
I agree there should be no state granted rights for any special unions,marriages,or groups, but to want to end marriage,which is the basis of the family is utterly absurd and the kind of thought and speech that fuels the fear of the far right and those who want to ban gay marriage.
Europe and US quasi socialist states are all in danger of fading due to lack of children, produced by families. How do we pay for the ponzi schemes of Social Security and other entitlement plans with less and less children every year? The only thing that is keeping the US in the game is we have so many people who want to live here(immigrants). Unfortunately I think we are gonna see more and more special tax treatment for families that produce children simply because the government needs more taxpayers.
Without the family,our society and the human race would cease to exist.

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #44 on: March 22, 2007, 01:18:57 PM »
I've posted my views on this before so I'll just summarize. I don't believe in gay marriage because:

1. I want government out of my bedroom. By petitioning for marriage and domestic partnerships we are asking for government intervention.
2. If people want to protect their relationship they can go to a lawyer and draw up contracts.
3. The best solution to create equality in terms of taxes and immigration is to eliminate tax breaks for married couples and change immigration policies. People who have children, regardless of marital status, are the ones who deserve tax breaks.
4. Marriage is inherently tied to religious institutions. If gays stop petitioning for marriage it will take a major weapon out of the religious right's arsenal.
5. The male-male relationship dynamic is different than male-female or female-female. Gays and lesbians have the opportunity to create relationships that work for our own needs rather than trying to pattern ourselves after heterosexuals.

I've been in a gay relationship for almost 15 years. We are not together because of a government sanctioned agreement or a vow before God and the community. We are not together for the kids, for a tax break, for citizenship, for the house or because our families want us to be together. We are together each day because we want to be. When we no longer want to be we will go our separate ways without lawyers milking us for thousands of dollars.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #45 on: March 22, 2007, 01:20:51 PM »
US quasi socialist states are all in danger of fading due to lack of children,which come from families.

The US had a birthrate INCREASE in '05.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,173875,00.html

Let's get our facts right.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #46 on: March 22, 2007, 01:24:05 PM »
I agree there should be no state granted rights for any special unions,marriages,or groups, but to want to end marriage,which is the basis of the family is utterly absurd and the kind of thought and speech that fuels the fear of the far right and those who want to ban gay marriage.
Europe and US quasi socialist states are all in danger of fading due to lack of children, produced by families. How do we pay for the ponzi schemes of Social Security and other entitlement plans with less and less children every year? The only thing that is keeping the US in the game is we have so many people who want to live here(immigrants). Unfortunately I think we are gonna see more and more special tax treatment for families that produce children simply because the government needs more taxpayers.
Without the family,our society and the human race would cease to exist.

I'm not for abolishing marriage as it exists as a religious institution.  That would mean the state prying into religious matters, where it quite simply has no business doing so.

If people want to get married in whatever religion they want, I say go for it.

I'd just like to see all the privileges and rights given to married couples by the state (and the state alone) abolished.

Edited to add: Jack is probably right.  We're going to end up paying people to have kids in the next few decades because not enough people are doing so.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #47 on: March 22, 2007, 01:25:29 PM »
i think gays should be allowed to marry but not repubs

Offline jack

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #48 on: March 22, 2007, 01:30:21 PM »
Maybe individuals who produce productive offspring that will pay taxes to keep the socialist state alive deserve some extra tax treatment. I have spent the last 20 years and hundreds of thousands of dollars(of my own money)educating two offspring who will be paying a high rate of taxes next year . I have foregone many luxuries and had to change my lifestyle to accomplish this, shouldn't the government want more people to do this?
For the record, I am a proponent of a flat tax system with absolutely no deductions for anyone. No idiotic mortgage deduction, or any special tax treatment for married couples, or anyone.

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Gays Gettin' Hitched: Why or Why Not?
« Reply #49 on: March 22, 2007, 01:32:09 PM »
if you allow gay marriage the next thing you know republicans will want to marry their pets or children

 


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