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Author Topic: "300" My own Spartan war  (Read 4164 times)

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Offline Strayboy74

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  • Posts: 1,054
  • tastes like chicken
"300" My own Spartan war
« on: March 19, 2007, 03:07:02 PM »
I've been sick for the past week and a half, and today I can't hear very well.  I can't equalize the pressure in my head and it's starting to drive me crazy.

On Saturday, I was feeling better.  In fact, I went to the movies with my ex-boyfriend.  It was the first in days, of many, that I actually felt like existing.  So, when my ex-boyfriend asked me to the movies, I absolutely found myself without the power to say 'no'.  (to be fair, he asked me in that Dolly Levi reluctant sort of way - in fact I think the phone call went like this:

Me: "Hello?"
Richard: "Hello, it's Richard!"
Me: "My dear Richard, how are you? And, how lovely it is for you to call me on such a wonderous day asking to take me to the movies,  you're so very thoughtful; and dinner?  Oh, my word!  How can I possibly say no to such a fine offer from a fine man?  You charm me- and yes, I'll be ready for you to pick me up at 1."
Richard: "but I was only returning your call..."
Me:  "Why I couldn't possibly spend the night, with you..."
Richard: "But I didn't ask"
Me:   "What? you expect me to ask you?!!  You've got another thing coming!  Why Mr. Perez, what on EARTH would the neighbors think?  Heavens no!  Just a movie and dinner. That's all I'll allow you to commit me to.  Now, I've got another call, I'll be waiting at 1 pm not a moment later." 
Richard: “Bu…”
...CLICK.)

Surprisingly, Richard always falls victim to my Dolly Levi routine, and rarely has he ever told me 'No' without severe penalties and consequences.  One time he asked me to go bowling with him, but then in a Sustiva haze he forgot to call me the next day, and went without me.  When I inquired, he told me that he "thought he called me".  Well, he still hasn't lived that one down and probably never will, if I have anything to do with it... but I digress....

So, we went to the movies, and nothing, truly inspired me.  Unfortunately, I was in a bad mood.  And immediately, upon arrival at the Metreon Theater, I wanted to set fire to the hoard of prepubescent Asian girls who kept screaming at the top of their lungs.  They all were dressed the same, and had the same haircut.  This made it difficult to recognize that they were growing in number at an exponential rate, and started to piss me off.  I hate it when people jump in line ahead of me.  I began to breathe deeply. 

“Calm down,” Richard said, recognizing within me the point at which I am liable to come unglued, and overtly “off-at-the handle”.

We selected the movie ‘300’ which had immeasurable amounts of exceptionally hot men with barren torsos and rough-and-tumble demeanors.  We chose this movie by mistake, but it actually was a good choice.  At the beginning of the movie, I imagined Richard as one of the gladiators, but when I turned to look at him, he was shoving fistfuls of buttery popcorn into his mouth.  My image of him ruined, I silently took the large bag of half-eaten popcorn out of his lap and moved it to the empty seat next to me.

“No, you didn’t.”

Without a word to dignify his protest, I then reached over and pinched his belly.

We sat in silence, stink-eye between us, movie still playing.

Now, it’s important to know that I tend to be vocal and assertive when I find myself in any situation where my rights are threatened.  Or when I feel that someone else’s rights are being violated.  I’m just wired that way.  It’s what I do.

So…  during the first 15 minutes of the movie, there was a woman, one row behind me and several seats over, who kept clapping and shouting during inappropriate times of the film.  I dismissed her overly excited enjoyment the first couple of times, but, since my ears were clogged and I haven’t been able to hear clearly for the last week and a half, I theatrically turned in her direction giving her a visual cue that the vocalization of her excitement was annoying others.  When settled on the ruckus, my eyes were immediately assaulted by the ill-fried-pork-chop orange color of her misshapen afro-puffed coif.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKIN’ AT YOU HONKEY FAGGOT MOTHERFUCKER?”

Richard looked at me.  I know he did.  I could feel it through the back of my head, just as easily as I felt him slip deeper into his seat.  A fever of rage overcame me, and as the audience turned to see what was going on, I heard a gasp of tension mount.

Suddenly, finding myself standing up from my seat, I felt Richard’s hands pulling at my arm as the words of a repressed and nasty drag queen found themselves so effortlessly and heavily rolling from deep within the recesses of the self-loathing faggot held in contempt from deep within me.

“I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I’M LOOKIN’ AT YOU NAPPY HEADDED BITCH!  I’M LOOKIN’ AT SOME CRACKED-OUT-COCONUT HEADED WELFARE MOMMA, WHO SHOULD HAVE FOUND HERSELF A DIFFERENT MOVIE TO WATCH  WHERE THE HONKEY FAGGOT MOTHERFUCKERS SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS TRIPPIN WITH WERE SMOKIN’ SOME OF HER SAME CRACK AND ACTUALLY KNEW WHAT THE FUCK SHE WAS CLAPPIN AND CHEERIN’ AT.  THAT’S WHAT I’M LOOKIN’ AT!”

Just then, it was as if an army of Spartan Honkey Faggot Motherfuckers were on my side, and an ocean of applause peppered with sporadic lifeboats of appropriate shaming filled the audience.  This continued until the woman with the ill-fated afro picked up her cell phone and began calling someone (whom I assumed would care), as she made her way down the row and to the theater’s exit.  I don’t know what she was saying because I still couldn’t hear very well, especially over the laughter and applause.  I felt Richard slip farther into his seat.

After the movie, Richard took me home, and skipped dinner entirely.  I’m gonna call him later today, but only after I can hear better.  And, after I come down from the rush of endorphins still filling me from the people who waited after the movie in order to thank me… 

My work there is done.

-joseph
« Last Edit: March 19, 2007, 05:13:10 PM by Strayboy74 »

Offline Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,207
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: "300" My own Spartan war
« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2007, 03:10:20 PM »
oh dear
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline puertorico2006

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  • Posts: 957
Re: "300" My own Spartan war
« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2007, 03:16:43 PM »
hehe sounds like fun times  ;D
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline Longislander

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  • Posts: 2,486
Re: "300" My own Spartan war
« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2007, 04:41:04 PM »
hmm, I just don't know what I would have done if you took away my bag of popcorn....................... :-\
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline Strayboy74

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  • Posts: 1,054
  • tastes like chicken
Re: "300" My own Spartan war
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2007, 04:45:40 PM »
hmm, I just don't know what I would have done if you took away my bag of popcorn....................... :-\

then, obviously, you're not strong enough to be my boyfriend. :)  LOL

-joseph

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Member
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Re: "300" My own Spartan war
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2007, 04:48:57 PM »
It's good to get out every once in a while, Joseph. Sounds like you got your money's worth.
Andy Velez

Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,486
Re: "300" My own Spartan war
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2007, 05:10:55 PM »
Quote
then, obviously, you're not strong enough to be my boyfriend.   LOL

but strong enough to knock your butt to the floor so I can reach over and get my bag back! ;)
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline Strayboy74

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,054
  • tastes like chicken
Re: "300" My own Spartan war
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2007, 05:11:54 PM »
but strong enough to knock your butt to the floor so I can reach over and get my bag back! ;)

LOL


Offline ACinKC

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  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: "300" My own Spartan war
« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2007, 05:20:36 PM »
Must have been the movie.  When we went we had a douchebag yelling at the screen as well.  Along with Mr. Drunk Passed out guy 5 rows in front of us.

It was irritating to say the least.  The level of douchebaggery present in the general populace astounds even me sometimes!
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Robert

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,646
Re: "300" My own Spartan war
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2007, 08:22:32 PM »

 Andy says, "Sounds like you got your money's worth."
 
 Sounds to me like everyone got their money's worth, except our nappy headed  bitch.  god I wish I had been there.  Senor Perez is certainly indebted to you and a dinner would be the least he can do.

robert
..........

Offline koi1

  • Member
  • Posts: 713
Re: "300" My own Spartan war
« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2007, 09:32:25 PM »
Oh no, he's got sustiva and he's not afraid to use it!

This brings to mind one time my now ex and I were walking in Burbank,( a proper part of town popular with wanna be teenage toughshits) with his putrid friend Marizza who hated me.

All of a sudden this teenaged guy who was as big as a house made the following comments with the appropriate gestures and an exagerated Nelly accent:

"Now the secret to giving a good blowjob is knowing exactly when to swallow..." (holding his rolled hands in front of his mouth, mouthing with a most telling tongue action. )

My ex and I could not believe the assault. Fortunately Scottt knows how to think on his feet. He looked him right in his pudgy face and said:

What did you say fat ass? So tell me what is the secret to being fat ass? Is it knowing how to eat more than you can swallow?

 All his little white trash friends started laughing uncontrollably and moved away from him, while he turned more shades of red than the grand canyon.

All I could say was yeah, what he said. Marizza the bitch just rolled her eyes and was speechless. She kept on saying don't fuck with Scott, oh no, don't fuck with Scottttttt.

Moral of the story:

Sometimes when people want to mouth off with their bigotry, they end up gaggin' on their own spew.

rob
diagnosed on 11/20/06 viral load 23,000  cd4 97    8%
01/04/07 six weeks after diagnosis vl 53,000 cd4 cd4 70    6%
Began sustiva truvada 01/04/07
newest labs  drawn on 01/15/07  vl 1,100    cd4 119    7%
Drawn 02/10/07
cd4=160 viral load= 131 percentage= 8%
New labs 3/10/07 (two months on sustiva truvada
cd4 count 292  percentage 14 viral load undetectable

Offline frenchpat

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  • Love your friends, don't eat them.
Re: "300" My own Spartan war
« Reply #11 on: March 20, 2007, 07:29:27 AM »
Hi,

to complement this story, for those who have, and those who haven't seen the movie:

http://film.guardian.co.uk/features/featurepages/0,,2035031,00.html


Pat ;D
People have the power - Patti Smith

Offline Bucko

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  • You need a shine, missy!
    • The Spin Cycle
Re: "300" My own Spartan war
« Reply #12 on: March 20, 2007, 07:12:23 PM »
The VCR and DVD player are the two greatest inventions of the 20th century, without a doubt. I can think of no film ever that can't be adequately appreciated at home.

Brent
(Who applauds Joseph's actions)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline david25luvit

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  • Posts: 1,409
  • Member since March 2005
Re: "300" My own Spartan war
« Reply #13 on: March 22, 2007, 12:48:42 PM »
Joseph....


                  Chuck and I went to see the movie and found no such distractions....
so I guess I'm jealous....

Thanks for the chuckle.........................


The movie was extremely violent but well made....lots of hard bodied good lookingmen.
Imgaine the casting call for this one....YUMMY! :P
In Memory of
Raymond David McRae III
Nov. 25, 1972- Oct. 15, 2004
I miss him terribly..........

Offline Strayboy74

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  • Posts: 1,054
  • tastes like chicken
Re: "300" My own Spartan war
« Reply #14 on: March 22, 2007, 06:07:54 PM »
Chuck and I went to see the movie and found no such distractions....

Well, that'll learn ya to live in the Ass End of Alabama.

LOL

-joseph

 


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